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Some TMNT stuff was always meant for grownups. |
You're in the Army Now is a short story published in September 1987 in Turtle Soup volume 1 issue #1 by Mirage Studios. It is 14 pages long.
Credits[]
- Story: Bernie Shuman
- Art: Bernie Shuman
- Assisting: Danny Shuman
Characters[]
Major characters[]
- Donatello / Private Don Atello
- Platoon Sergeant Tom Heartbreak
- Leonardo / Private Leo Nardo
Minor characters[]
Plot[]
Lounging around April’s apartment, Leo and Don figure they’re due for a vacation. April suggests they visit her uncle in Trenton and they jump at the chance. Unfortunately, they arrive at the bus depot late and have to chase down their ride. They soon find that they’ve hopped onto the wrong bus, as they’re dropped off at Fort Dix; an army boot camp facility!
Leo and Don try to explain the mix-up to Sgt. Heartbreak, but he figures them for a couple of goldbricks trying to weasel out of their enlistment. He sends them to get their haircuts, uniforms and medical exams and the Turtles reluctantly comply.
4am the next morning, boot camp begins in earnest and Leo and Don are put through the works: 4-mile marches, 20-mile hikes, tear gas chamber, obstacle course, etc. Having trained in ninjutsu their whole lives, they find Heartbreak’s regimen a breeze, but feel he’s being too hard on some of the smaller recruits. Next up is one-on-one with the pugil sticks and Heartbreak challenges any private to take him on. Seeing a chance to get some payback, Don accepts and quickly knocks Heartbreak off his feet. Rather than get upset, however, Heartbreak is impressed. When Lt. Jones calls him in to warn him of a terrorist threat to their post ammo dump, Heartbreak suggests putting his two best recruits, privates “Atello” and “Nardo”, on guard duty.
Leo and Don stand a lonely vigil outside the ammo dump late into the night and, as predicted, a van full of terrorists open fire. The Turtles take cover as the terrorists break into the ammo dump and begin looting the goodies. Don has a bright idea and the Turtles commandeer a nearby tank. Don rolls over the terrorists’ escape van then he and Leo take the villains out with hand-to-hand combat. Heartbreak arrives on the scene and sees that “Nardo” and “Atello” have everything under control. He is so thrilled, he decides to put them up for citation.
Later, April receives a letter from Leo and Don explaining their predicament. Mikey and Raph join her on a trip to Fort Dix to straighten things out. The General gladly offers Leo and Don honorable discharges and the Turtles leave Fort Dix with April and their brothers. Jokingly, Raph and Mike suggest they take their next vacation at Parris Island.
Trivia[]
- This story is not considered Mirage continuity, as Peter Laird considered no story to be in the continuity unless it was made with the involvement of Mirage Studios staff or otherwise specifically indicated.
- Parris Island is home to a Marine Corps recruitment center.
Gallery[]
