Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.
Page 1 Edit
Koya "Look at them, Bludgeon."
Bebop "Bwaha! Nailed that cat right on the noggin with an anvil!"
Rocksteady "Man, I wish I had an anvil!"
Koya "How do those fools live with themselves?"
Bludgeon "I don't know, Koya."
Bludgeon "Ignorance is bliss, I suppose."
Koya "But don't they understand how important today is? We thought our master dead but we were wrong."
Koya "Now we have a chance at retribution for failing to protect him from his enemies."
Koya "How do they not see that?!"
Bludgeon "Forget those imbeciles, sister. All that matters is the master's promise that you and I will remain part of his grand plans. We are still his soldiers!"
Koya "What do you think our mission will be, Bludgeon?"
Bludgeon "Who's to say? All I know is, with Master Shredder back in command..."
Page 2 Edit
"...It will be glorious."
Shredder "So, Stockman... How goes the slaughter?"
Baxter Stockman "Everything is going to plan, Shredder, just as I guaranteed."
Baxter "I certainly didn't need any assistance from your lackeys."
Shredder "My... Lackeys?"
Baxter "The blasted ninjas you decided to order into the fight without consulting me!"
Shredder "I gave no such order. Who would—"
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Splinter "Oroku Karai—what is the meaning of this?"
Karai "Lower your weapons and I will explain."
Raphael "Yeah. Right You must think we're pretty stupid."
Karai "You will hear me first, Hamato Yoshi?"
Splinter "Yes, I will hear you. Lower your weapons, my children."
Splinter "Please, Raphael, do as I say."
Splinter "I am listening, Oroku Karai."
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Karai "Understand, what has happened here today was not out of mercy or compassion."
Karai "My master wishes you destroyed, and as his chunin, I will see his orders through to completion."
Karai "But I could not stand by and allow it to happen so..."
Karai "So now we can finish this with the proper manner—as true warriors."
Splinter "Hm. Indeed."
Splinter "But first I would ask that you hear me."
Splinter "You speak of honor and yet you are prepared to annihilate a small few with a great many."
Splinter "With such uneven numbers, what you call the warrior's way would be as unjust as allowing the machines to continue their attack."
Splinter "But if it is truly honor that you seek, there is another way, Oroku Karai—you know this. A just and honorable way... Steel against steel."
Splinter "The Foot way."
Splinter "Furthermore, if it's retribution Oroku Saki desires, then, as his chunin..."
Splinter "...It is your duty to ensure he does so in a way worthy of one who calls himself master."
"What are you waiting for?"
Page 6 Edit
Harold Lillja >It's not like we've got all night...<
Harold >...Let alone all minute. You've got the new shell built, so... Get on with it!<
Zayton Honeycutt "I... I want to, Harold, but..."
Honeycutt "...But I'm finding the moral ramifications far more complicated than I'd anticipated."
Harold "Complicated? You're fixing our friend, Honeycutt—"
Harold >—There's nothing complicated about that.<
Honeycutt "It may appear that way from where you're sitting, Harold, but I assure you it's quite different here."
Honeycutt "Yes, fusing the artificial shell to Donatello's body is a fairly simple process. But the Utrominon ooze required to mend his internal wounds, well..."
Honeycutt "...We don't have an amount sufficient enough to fix our friend without risking irreparable harm to the Utroms in stasis."
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Honeycutt "I want very much to help Donatello, Harold..."
Honeycutt "...I just don't think I'm capable of creating more innocent victims in this war."
Leatherhead "Well, I can help you with that particular conundrum..."
Leatherhead "...If you'd be willing to help me with one of my own."
Harold >You have got to be...<
Page 8 Edit
Baxter "...Kidding me!"
Baxter "Is this some kind of a joke, ninja?!"
Baxter "Let me do all the hard work corralling those damned mutants just so your pajama-wearing psychos can take all the credit for finishing the job?"
Shredder "What are you saying, Stockman?"
Baxter "Your ninjas, you spike-headed fool! They destroyed my robots before I could exterminate the rat and his brood!"
Shredder "Hear me now, Stockman. Whatever has happened, you would do well to control your tongue."
Karai "Yes, gaijin..."
Karai "...You would."
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Baxter "Wha... My equipment!"
Shredder "What have you done, girl?"
Shredder "Answer me!"
Karai "I have eliminated a dire threat to our clan, Master Shredder."
Kitsune "Wait, Saki!"
Kitsune "If you strike down this child, do you act any less rashly than she?"
Shredder "Kitsune, I—"
Kitsune "You are the master of the Foot Clan."
Kitsune "Will you not hear your chunin's testimony before you deliver your sentence?"
Shredder "Very well—stand and be heard."
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Karai "I will speak, Master, and if they are to be my final words, I will die knowing I spoke honorably."
Karai "My sole wish is that, in dying, my blood will once again serve to resurrect the Foot to its full glory."
Karai "A glory wrought by you, Grandfather, in an age that has passed into shadow."
Karai "And now, in this new age, when our precious clan should shine brighter than it ever has before, it is instead in danger of falling back into dark oblivion as our control unravels and our empire slips away."
Karai "Our army was nearly decimated by the ill-fated attack on Burnow Island, and the outsiders—the cowardly gaijin—we have allowed to poison our ranks see this as an opportunity to abandon their so-called loyalties to our clan."
Karai "And yet we continue to ally ourselves with men of no morals and no traditions like the scientist. And for what reason?"
Karai "All to settle an ancient dispute—"
Karai "—A personal feud that threatens to dismantle all you have so meticulously built over these many centuries, Grandfather."
Karai "I fully understand why you would possess such a burning desire for final retribution."
Karai "But what would truly be gained if we lose our collective honor in the process?"
Karai "Therefore, it is my sword duty as Foot Clan chunin to help my master see the true path forward... No matter the cost."
Karai "There is a better way, Master."
Splinter "Your chunin speaks the truth, Saki."
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Splinter "...It is far past time we resolve this war between us."
Splinter "I, Hamato Yoshi, formally challenge you, Oroku Saki, to the Gauntlet."
Shredder "I will not sully myself with such nonsense."
Shredder "Foot! Slaughter them al—"
Kitsune "My beloved... Wait."
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Kitsune "There is wisdom in these words. And opportunity."
Kitsune "The Gauntlet is ancient and sacred. It is not a path to be undertaken lightly."
Kitsune "But if you choose to follow it, you will prove that your rule is absolute and above reproach. The time for plots is over. The time for combat is now."
Kitsune "Become the great ruler you were always destined to be. Accept the challenge."
Kitsune "After all, what does the great Dragon Warrior have to fear? A decrepit rat and his reptilian children?"
Shredder "Very well, Hamato Yoshi... Let your second death at long last seal your place as traitor to the Foot Clan."
Shredder "I accept your challenge."
Baxter "Yes, well, don't mind me..."
Baxter "...I'll just see myself out."
"They're gonna get killed!"
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Nobody "We can't just stand around doin' nothin'."
Alopex "No, Angel, they'll kill us all if we interfere."
Kitsune "Alopex speaks the truth..."
Kitsune "...The ritual demands strict adherence to its conventions."
"It begins with two warrior families locked in irreconcilable conflict..."
"...Leaving a sacred trial by combat as the only honorable resolution."
"The rite commences with the subordinates—students and soldiers specially chosen by their master."
"Four to a side, they will battle in their master's name, ceasing only after all warriors from one group have been defeated."
"The remaining victors will then have earned the honor to stand at their master's side."
"Joining him in battle against his adversary—a decisive final encounter that will settle their family dispute for all time."
Kitsune "A binding covenant signed in blood..."
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"...And sealed in death."
Mikey "Man, I still can't believe this!"
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Mikey "The object of this thing is to actually kill each other?!"
Splinter "No, my son. Only Saki or I must die today."
Mikey "Father, why in the world did you agree to this?"
Splinter "We have spoken of this before, my son. Saki will never cease in his quest to see our family annihilated. He will hunt us to the ends of the Earth if need be.*"
Splinter "Today the inevitable has become reality and we must all make difficult choices."
Mikey "But... I don't think I can do it. Kill someone, I mean. Even Shredder."
Shredder "Then understand, you will never know peace until either he... Or I... No longer exists."
Splinter "Please now, I do not want to die, Michelangelo. But more than that, I do not want my children to live in constant danger."
Splinter "One way or another, the Gauntlet will remove Shredder's dark shadow from our lives."
Karai "Clan Hamato! You have issued the challenge to our master. You stand as willing participants in this ancient rite."
Karai "Clan Foot! Are you prepared to prove the righteousness of your cause in mortal combat?"
Karai "Very well..."
Karai "...Let the Gauntlet commence!"
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Karai "Stand proud, chosen ones."
Karai "Today we fight for our master's honor."
Shredder "No, Karai... You will not."
Shredder "You will watch the others battle in my name as you await your own punishment."
Karai "But... Grandfather..."
Shredder "Do not think because I have agreed to this spectacle that I have forgiven your insubordination, girl. I will deal with Yoshi..."
"...Then I will deal with you."
Mikey "Oh, man."
Splinter "My son, I sense discord in their ranks. They are not a cohesive unit like you and your brothers."
Splinter "Yes, they are much bigger, much stronger—"
Splinter "—But you have training, discipline, intelligence... Fraternity. You must use these assets to your advantage at all times in the fight to come."
Leo "Yes, Sensei."
Raph "Speakin' of fightin', enough of this bowin' and talkin' crap."
Raph "If we're gonna do this..."
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Raph "...Let's do it!"
Rocksteady "What's wrong, turtle?"
Rocksteady "In a hurry to get your shell smashed, too?"
Raph "Yeah, I'm in a hurry, dipwad."
Raph "For some serious payback!"
Koya "Do you really believe you can hit me with your cowardly lasers, pitiful machine?"
Donnie " 'Cause you sure do talk a lot."
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Mikey "Alley oop!"
Leo "Mikey, a little help here?"
Mikey "Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the Gauntlet!"
Leo "Thanks, little bro."
Mikey "Check it out—shark tooth. Cool."
Splinter "Leonardo, quickly!"
Splinter "Press your attack!"
"Before your enemy recovers!"
Koya "You dare mock me, robot?"
Koya "I think not!"
Donnie "Raph! Look ou--"
Page 20 Edit
Shredder "Excellent, Koya."
Bebop "Oh, wait—I didn't know it was tickle time."
Bebop "Tickle, tickle!"
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Bludgeon "Blasted turtle broke my tooth."
Koya "And yet enough remain for the flesh feast to come, brother."
Bebop "Man, Koya—you're nasty!"
Rocksteady "Heh. If you think that's nasty, Bopster..."
Rocksteady "...Just wait 'till you see what comes next."
"This is bad!"
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Nobody "We've gotta do somethin'!"
Alopex "No! Angel!"
Alopex "I told you—we can't get involved."
Alopex "No buts."
Alopex "We have to let this finish without us."
Kitsune (telepathy) "Yes, little fox, you do."
Kitsune (t) "But know this—no matter how this finished, you will be safe, at home..."
Kitsune (t) "...With me."