[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Pan across a large train station. April does a report while standing next to a train, with Vernon as the cameraman and Irma assisting. Nearby, in disguise, are the Turtles and Splinter.]
April O'Neil "This is April O'Neil, your Channel 6 news European correspondent, coming to you from the famous Gare de Lyon in Paris, France. Today we take you back to an era of elegance on a special run of the original Orient Express. Behind a real steam locomotive, we will ride in old-fashioned luxury from Paris to Istanbul."
Raphael "What's the big deal about a train? She could fly there faster."
Splinter "The point of a journey is not only the destination, my student."
Raphael "As in, "Getting there is half the fun." Well, maybe so, Master Splinter, but this is one Turtle who likes speed."
April "Hi, guys. Taking the train?"
Raphael "No, thanks. I've got one at home."
Donatello "Watch yourself, April. In every old flick I've ever seen, the Orient Express is full of spies and intrigue."
[A man walks past the women. He is covered from head to toe, including his face. He enters the train.]
Irma Langenstein "Ooh, look at him. I'm intrigued already."
[The man enters a baggage car and whips off his disguise to reveal it is Shredder.]
Shredder "Rocksteady. Bebop. Where are you?"
[A locked trunk begins rocking back and forth.]
Rocksteady "In here, boss."
Bebop "Ugh. Can we get out now? It's stuffy."
Shredder "All right. The coast is clear."
[The sides of the wooden trunk creak and expand, then explode.]
Bebop "My achin' back."
Rocksteady "Mm. You gotta buy larger luggage if we're gonna do much of this traveling, boss."
Shredder "The only reason I brought you two lunkheads along was to carry this."
[He slices open a crate, revealing a machine with a flashing red light.]
Rocksteady "Ooh, pretty. Is it a VCR?"
Bebop "No, you jerk. It's a cellular phone."
Shredder "This is Krang's fusion supercharger. It will make this train go faster than any jet. We will get off the train when I activate the supercharger here, in Bucharest, Romania.
From there, the train will accelerate to escape velocity, launch itself over the Straits of Bosphorus, and crash into Earth's biggest oil fields, causing incredible chaos and destruction."
[A handheld device displays a map.]
From there, the train will accelerate to escape velocity, launch itself over the Straits of Bosphorus, and crash into Earth's biggest oil fields, causing incredible chaos and destruction."
Bebop "Ooh, can we watch?"
Shredder "The explosion will release enough energy to open a dimensional warp. Krang will then bring the Technodrome to Earth."
Rocksteady "What do we do, boss?"
Shredder "You will make sure there is no one on this train to stand in our way."
[Two train conductors meets with the train engineer.]
Fritz "Are we all set, Bela?"
Bela "All set, Fritz."
Conductor 1 "Well, let's go. All aboard!"
[The train whistle blows. The two conductors step into the baggage car and are accosted by Bebop and Rocksteady.]
Rocksteady "All except you."
[The conductors exclaim when they are lifted by their coats.]
Bebop "But first we need to borrow your uniforms."
[The two conductors, now in their underwear, are tossed off the train. The engineer witnesses this.]
Bela "What is going on?"
[Shredder grabs him.]
Shredder "You are going off.
I've always loved playing with trains."
[He takes the man’s clothes and throws him off the train.]
I've always loved playing with trains."
[In the dining car, Vernon has taken a seat at a table and a waiter serves him a drink.]
Vernon Fenwick "Oh, finally I get a relaxing assignment. Of course, it's only what I deserve.
Oh!"
[The train starts with a jerk, splattering the drink all over Vernon.]
Oh!"
[A rich couple walk by and the woman shakes her head.]
Rich woman "Oh, such a sloppy commoner."
Vernon "Why me?"
[The Turtles and Splinter watch as the train leaves. When it passes, the conductor and engineer are revealed.]
Splinter "Turtles, look."
Leonardo "That's the engineer and the conductors."
Splinter "I sense Shredder's hand in this."
Raphael "Oh, no. If Shredder's on the train—"
Leonardo "Then April and Irma are in trouble. Come on, Turtles."
[They try to catch the train, but it’s too far ahead.]
Raphael "Now what?"
[Leonardo points to a railroad handcar on the track.]
Leonardo "There's our ride."
Raphael "A sidecar?"
[The Turtles and Splinter remove their disguises and hop on the handcar. The begin pushing on the arm to get the handcar moving.]
Leonardo "The train [panting] is getting further away."
Donatello "This looks like a good time to test my new long-range magnet.
It's working."
[He aims the large magnet at the back of the train.]
It's working."
Leonardo "Can't we get any closer?"
Donatello "Uh, no. It's a long-range magnet."
Splinter "Do not worry. We will board the train in Munich."
[Bebop and Rocksteady, carrying the fusion supercharger, walk along the top of coal cars. They reach the cab and hop inside.]
Rocksteady "Here's the supercharger, boss. How fast will it make the train go?"
Shredder "About 800 miles an hour."
Bebop "Well, gee, is it legal to go that fast?"
Shredder "If it were legal, we wouldn't be doing it. Now, get back to the passenger section and collect tickets."
Bebop "Ooh, look. We're coming to a city."
Shredder "That's Munich. If I don't stop, it will arouse suspicion."
[He brings the train to a stop just as a waiter is serving Vernon a bowl of soup. The train jerks and the waiter spills the soup on Vernon’s head.]
Vernon "Oh. Oh, I hate pea soup."
Waiter "I could spill some chicken soup."
[The Turtles and Splinter have acquired new disguises – lederhosen. They each carry a musical instrument.]
Donatello "I feel ridiculous in these outfits."
Raphael "You should see how you look."
[They board the train and being playing folk music.]
Michelangelo "Well, it's got a good beat, and you can dance to it."
Rich man "Please, stop."
Raphael "Do you have a request?"
Rich man "Ja. Do not play ever again."
[He hands Raphael a large roll of money.]
Raphael "Hmm. Not a bad gig."
Leonardo "We're supposed to be looking for Shredder, remember?"
Raphael "Yeah, but if we don't find him, we've got great careers as musicians."
[They continue playing and Bebop and Rocksteady walk towards them.]
Rocksteady "Ew, I hate oompah bands."
[He wrestles with Leonardo, who tosses Rocksteady against a wall before falling down.]
Leonardo "There. Music calms the savage beast, you know."
Bebop "Uh, these guys ain't musicians."
Rocksteady "I know. I heard 'em play."
[Bebop lifts Leonardo off the floor and rips off his lederhosen.]
Bebop "The Turtles!"
[The other Turtles remove their disguises and draw their weapons.]
Leonardo "Turtles, fight with honor!"