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 HEY, KID, YOU'RE 
 A LONG WAY 
 FROM NICKTOONS! 

Some TMNT stuff was always meant for grownups.

Frontispiece

(Donatello and Shadow playing chess)

[A schema is a mental structure that we use to organize and simplify our understanding of the world around us. We develop schemas about ourselves, other individuals, mechanical devices, games, just about everything.]

[Schemas affect what we notice, how we interpret things, how we make decisions, how we act.]

[We remember and recall things via schemas, in effect using them to encode our memories.]

[At least in theory...]

[My name's Donatello and, yeah, these are the things that I like to think about. It's the way I am. It's the way I've always been.]

[Let me tell you a story...]

Page 1

[A story...]

[Everything tells a story. Every image, every sound, each aroma and sensation.]

[Every single thing has history.]

[All of history is memory.]

[And memory... Memory is all we have.]

Future Donatello "Sensei..."

[These training bokken from our childhood...]

[...Contain some of my earliest memories.]

Future Don "My father..."

Page 2

Hamato Splinter "My sons. There is but one final lesson for today, a lesson that requires your utmost concentration, your most focused balance..."

Splinter "...The lesson of the crane."

Splinter "The bird, not the construction machine."

Splinter "Very good, my sons... Very good, indeed!"

Raphael "Psst... Hey, Leo...!"

Leonardo "Huh? Raph? What... What are you-"

Leo "-Doing?!"

THUMP!

Leo "Ooof!"

Page 3

Splinter "I saw that, Raphael."

Michelangelo or Don "Master, can we go out to sewer waters and play pirate? Please, Master, please?!?"

Don or Mike "We won't go far, Sensei, just around the corner."

Splinter "Yes... But please remain vigilant, my sons."

Don & Mike "All right!"

Don or Mike "Avast! Tis' Davey Jones' Locker!"

Splinter "Leonardo, please see that your brothers do not get into any mischief."

Leo "Yes, Sensei."

Unknown Turtle A "Now if only we had some eye patches and pirate hats...!"

Unknown Turtle B "Arrr! Arrrr!"

Page 4

FORBIDDEN!
TURN BACK, MY SONS!

Unknown Turtle A "Avast, me hearties! A message to curl ye very blood! Tis the forbidden zone!"

Unknown Turtle B "A sign? We don't need no steenkin' sign!"

Leo "Seriously now, guys, this is as far as we go. And we really ought to keep it down."

Don "Hey, Mikey..."

Don "...The H.M.S. Terrapin Terror, scourge of the seven seas, is ready to set sail!"

Don "Radio control works like a charm..."

Mike "Cowabunga!"

Raph "Heh heh heh."

Raph "Speaking of scourges..."

Page 5

Raph "...Make way for the Raphael Rock and Roll Show!"

SPLOOOSH!

Raph "Haw! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Leo "Gee, Raphael, I thought I told you to keep it down!"

Don "Ut-oh. The Terrapin Terror's not responding! The waves caused by Raph's rock must have pushed it out of range of the radio...!"

Leo "Raph! Wait!"

Don "Yup. No response."

Raph "Looks like we'll have to head off into the forbidden zone and get it back."

Leo "Master Splinter isn't going to like this."

Raph "Then we don't tell him. Duh."

Page 6

FZZZZ-

-ZZZZZT!

Sigmurethite "<(indecipherable)>"

Page 7

Sigmurethite "<(indecipherable)>"

KLIK KLIK KLIK


Sigmurethite "<(indecipherable)>"

Page 8

TCRI

Xeinos "...I understand and respect your needs..."

Xeinos "...Although I fail to see why this particular need cannot be met in the purified waters of our Utrom immersion pool."

Leatherhead "Thank you for granting me my wish, Doctor X..."

Leatherhead "...As far as my explaining my desire to pass up the offer of your pristine waters for the fetid sewers of this city, well, I guess it's like that old human saying, which I heavily paraphrase here..."

Leatherhead "You can take the gator out of the sewer..."

Leatherhead "...But you can't take the sewer out of the gator!"

Xeinos "Please be careful, Leatherhead."

Leatherhead "Don't worry, Doctor, I'll be right back after an invigorating-"

Page 9

Leatherhead "-Swim!"

SPLASH!

Leatherhead "Ahhhh... This feels great!"

Page 10

Mike or Raph "Great! Look! The H.M.S. Terrapin Terror!"

Don "Super. Let's see if it responds to radio waves..."

Mike or Raph "I'll get it...!"

Raph "Let's do some exploring!"

Leo "Are you crazy, Raphael?! We shouldn't even be this far from home. Master Splinter-"

Unknown Turtle "-Look!"

Page 11

Mike or Raph ··A crocodile!··

Don ··Hmm. I think it's an alligator. An American alligator. Alligator mississippiensis... If I'm not mistaken.··

Raph or Mike "Big brain."

Leo ··Quiet!··

Unknown Turtle ··Wow. It's massive.··

Unknown Turtle ··Hey, don't gators each turtles?··

Leo ··Shhhh!··

Raph ··I ain't afraid of no dumb ol' gator...··

Raph "Heh."

Page 12

PONK

Leo ··Raphael! What the shell is the matter with you?! You're such a... Um...··

Leo ··...A delinquent.··

Raph ··"Delinquent?" Ow, that really hurts, Leo. Heh heh.··

PONK!

Page 13

Leo ··Raphael! I'm warning you - stop throwing stones!··

Raph ··Stop threatening me, fart-face, or I'll chuck that big rock at the gator...!··

Leo ··You better not throw that rock... Or else!··

Don "Wrong choice of words."

Mike "I can't look."

Raph " "Or else," huh?"

Raph " "Or else" What?"

BONK!

Page 14 & 15

RRRAAAAARGH!

Leatherhead "Who dares attack me? Who dares attack... Leatherhead?!"

Leatherhead "All I wanted was to be alone... To enjoy the solitude that I so often crave..."

Leatherhead "But no. Such is not to be. Someone always interferes with the attainment of even the humblest of my desires..."

Leatherhead "But no more. Not this time."

Leatherhead "This time... Someone pays!"

Page 16

Sigmurethite "<(indecipherable)>"

Leo ··Now you've done it, Raphael!··

Leo ··Quick, everyone - follow me. Stick to the shadows.··

Raph or Mike "Ulp."

RRRAARRRH!

Leatherhead "I may not be able to see you... But I know you're out there somewhere!"

Page 17

Leo ··Whoa! Hold up! Someone's coming...!··

Don ··But the gator, he's-··

BUMP

Leo "-Hey! Watch it, Don!"

Don "Ooops! The mast, it's breaking off-"

THUD!

Leatherhead "Eh?"

Leatherhead "Fool! You've given yourself away."

Leatherhead "Now I've got you...!"

Page 18

Sigmurethite "?!"

Leatherhead "I... Will... Kill... You all!"

Sigmurethite "<(indecipherable)>"

shoom shoooooom

RRRAAAAARGH!

Page 19

Raph or Mike "Holy crap, the gator's gone nuts!"

Leo "This is your fault, Raph."

Mike or Raph "We should go home... Pronto!"

Leatherhead "Must...!"

POW!

Leatherhead "Kill...!"

SLASH!

Leatherhead "You...!"

SLAM!

Leatherhead "...All!"

Page 20

Leatherhead "Yessss!"

Leatherhead "I stand triumphant! I have killed you all!"

Leatherhead "I... I have..."

Page 21

Leatherhead "No. It cannot be..."

Leatherhead "What... What have I done?!"

Leatherhead "I let my rage consume me... I let my reptilian rage overwhelm my human intellect..."

Leatherhead "...And in my blind rage I have hurt other sentient beings..."

Xeinos "Please, calm yourself, Leatherhead..."

Xeinos "The important thing is that you have regained control of your senses, that you have emerged from the darkness."

Leatherhead "Doctor X. I should never have left the safety of the TCRI building. When will I learn that the outside world is not for one such as I?"

Xeinos "That may be true, my friend. Come, let us return home."

Xeinos "But consider this:"

Xeinos "These aliens upon whom you vented your wrath..."

Xeinos "...They are Sigmurethites, age-old enemies of the Utroms."

Xeinos "Enemies who no doubt came to rest the perimeter of our defenses..."

Xeinos "...Only to encounter our greatest defense, and greatest ally - you."

Page 22

Leo "You and your stupid rocks! You could have gotten us all killed, Raphael!"

Raph "The gator never would have found us if it wasn't for them other jokers showing up and you know it, daddy's boy...!"

Splinter "Ahem."

Page 23

Turtles "Master Splinter!!!!"

Splinter "Consider yourselves grounded for going beyond our safe zone... And breaking my trust in you."

Raph "But Sensei, we only went out there because Don's pirate boat..."

Raph "...It, uh, got captured by some sewer eels that then swam away with it and gave it to a shark, so we went after it and-"

Splinter "-Raphael, that is most absurd."

Raph "But Master...!"

Raph "Hey Leo! Tell Master Splinter it's true - he'll believe you!"

Splinter "Consider yourself grounded twice as long as your brothers for lying. And lying badly at that."

[My father. My brothers...]

Page 24

[...My family.]

[History.]

[Memory...]

[...For what else is left us?]

The end.

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