Touch and Go (2003 TV series episode)/Transcript

This is a transcript for Touch and Go, the eighth episode of season three of TMNT (2003 series).

VOICE-OVER INTRO

Raphael

There's an old saying that goes something like, 'The more things change, the more they stay the same’. You'd think that after the city had been torn to pieces by warring aliens from outer space, that maybe people would be a little more open-minded about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles living in their own back yard. [Thug 1: “I see him!”] Think again. [Thug 2: "Over here! That freaky alien! He's over here!" Thug 3: "Let's tear him to pieces!"]  Ain't it nice to see that some things never change?

{Opening sequence; title song}

	The episode begins in the turtles’ lair, with Donatello and Leatherhead working on the TV array. Donatello is attaching a set of colored wires.
Leatherhead	Now the red one. Careful. Careful. Now the blue wire. [The televisions come on, but only show static.] Aha. Good. It’s working.
Michelangelo	Here, Leatherhead. Wear this for a minute.
	He jumps up and attaches a foil antennae hat to Leatherhead’s head.
Leatherhead	Huh? What?
Donatello	Mikey, what are you doing?
	Michelangelo springs backwards onto the couch.
Michelangelo	Trying to get some TV reception.
Donatello	If you wait a minute, we’ll have a whole new computerized communications array up and running.
Michelangelo	I don’t want TV in a minute. I want it now!
Donatello	We are in the middle of a very delicate procedure here.
Michelangelo	So am I. Leatherhead, lean to the right. No, to the left. A little more. There! Don’t move. We got something.
	One of the televisions gets a clear signal. On it, a reporter broadcasts from a city street. All around her are the signs of the destruction leftover from the invasion.
Reporter	A short time has passed since the mind-boggling alien invasion, but New York is already getting back on its feet. Citywide cleanup efforts will take time. Police are urging citizens to not touch anything. There’s still a lot of live alien ordinance out there. And some good news. [Scenes of the Justice Force members helping with the cleanup.] The Justice Force is back in action, helping cleanup crews all over the city.
Michelangelo	Hey! It’s my pal Silver Sentry! You go, super dude! You— [The TV signal goes out.] Aw, they were just getting to the best part. Smooth move, Leather-dork.
	Leatherhead growls and his eyes shift from normal to mere slits. He snatches the foil hat from his head and crushes it, throwing it on the floor. He is shaking with anger and growling as he stares at Michelangelo. Donatello walks over and touches his arm.
Donatello	Easy does it, Leatherhead. Don’t listen to him. Mikey makes everybody crazy. [Michelangelo crosses his legs, completely unperturbed.] It’s his secret mutant power.
	Master Splinter’s door slides open and he leaves his room.
Splinter	Donatello, have Leonardo and Raphael returned from Miss O’Neil’s?
Donatello	Not yet, Master Splinter.
Splinter	Come, Michelangelo, you are only causing trouble here. Donatello and Leatherhead have important work to do. You and I will inspect the sewer tunnels. They may have been damaged in the alien attack. [Michelangelo follows him, looking dejected.] Besides, it will give us a chance to focus on your training. I am determined to see you establish a mind-body connection, no matter how feeble.
	Cut to April’s shop, ‘2nd Time Around’. April, Casey, Leonardo, and Raphael are outside, nailing boards up over the broken windows.
Leonardo	Well, that’s got it covered.
Raphael	This’ll hold till you get it repaired.
April O’Neil	Thank you so much, Casey. I feel so much better now.
Casey Jones	Aw, you know, anything for you, April.
	April and Casey gaze at one another. Raphael looks over at his brother.
Raphael	Hey, what are we, vegetarian chopped liver?
Leonardo	Aw, come on, Raph. I think it’s time for us to go.
Raphael	I did more work than he did, you know.
	The pair climb up to a nearby rooftop.
Raphael	Hey, Leo, race you home. Unless you’re afraid I’ll beat you like last time.
Leonardo	Raph, the only thing I’m afraid of is your faulty memory. I won last time, [he starts running] and looks like I’m gonna have to do it again, Mister I-Can’t-Admit-Defeat.
	Raphael passes him up and turns to run backwards.
Raphael	Keep dreaming, bro. I’ll wait for you back at the lair.
	The pair begin racing. Underground, Michelangelo and Splinter inspect the tunnels.
Splinter	Mm, many side tunnels collapsed or flooded. It is worse than I feared.
Michelangelo	Yep, tunnel’s in sad shape. Well, let’s head home.
	He turns to leave but Splinter grabs his arm.
Splinter	Focus, Michelangelo. Focus on the task at hand. Ah, my son, physically, you have a natural affinity for the martial arts. But mentally, your mind is undisciplined and unruly.
Michelangelo	I’m a teenager, Sensei. Undisciplined and unruly is what we do best.
Splinter	You are also a ninja. You must learn to use your mind more and your mouth less.
	They come out of a side tunnel into another and discover that part of that one has collapsed.
Michelangelo	Whoa! Looks like another dead end.
Splinter	I was hoping to learn if the tunnels leading to the subway are still intact. [He sees that manhole entrance to the street is still accessible.] We will have to surface for a short distance.
Michelangelo	Wa-hoo! Hitting the surface!
Splinter	A very short distance. [Michelangelo’s smile vanishes.] We will re-enter the sewers one block to the West.
	Master Splinter goes up first, pushing the manhole cover aside and springing up into an alley. Michelangelo follows, waiting as Splinter surveys the area. It appears to be all clear, so the pair begins running down the street. Unbeknownst to them, someone is watching from a nearby rooftop. It is a pair of mercenaries known as Mr. Touch and Mr. Go.
Mr. Go	Well, well, well. Pay dirt, Mr. Touch. It’s the rat and one of his brood coming out of their little hidey-hole.
Mr. Touch	Then it would appear it’s time for us to get to work, Mr. Go.
	They touch their fists to each other’s and sparks fly, creating a power that energizes both of them. The pair leap down from the rooftop onto a fire escape and watch as Michelangelo and Splinter run past. After a couple of blocks, Splinter and his son enter an alley. Splinter uses his walking stick to pry open a manhole cover, then something attracts his notice.
Splinter	Huh?
Michelangelo	Master Splinter, what is it?
	Splinter sniffs the air.
Splinter	Something is following us. Quickly, let us get underground.
	They both enter the tunnel and Splinter pulls the cover over the entrance. Touch and Go arrive and Touch lifts off the manhole cover, flinging it aside so hard that it sticks into a wall.
Mr. Touch	After you, Mr. Go.
Mr. Go	Oh, too kind, Mr. Touch.
	He leaps into the tunnel. Touch tries to follow, but the opening is too small for him. His fists suddenly spark and he grabs the edges of the opening, ripping the concrete apart to make a larger opening. He drops into the tunnels. Splinter and Michelangelo are walking through the sewers, unaware of the pair following them.
Michelangelo	Master Splinter, I’m hungry.
Splinter	Focus, Michelangelo. Please focus.
Michelangelo	But focusing makes me hungry.
	They don’t see that Mr. Go is behind them.
Mr. Go	Poor Mr. Touch had better catch up or he’s going to miss all the fun.
	He zips past Michelangelo and Splinter, moving so fast they see only a shadow.
Michelangelo	What the—
	Mr. Go attacks, going for Splinter first. Splinter counters his strikes, but the man is moving fast. He suddenly leaps over Splinter and lands behind Michelangelo, who evades a couple of his kicks, but is finally hit hard enough to slam him into the wall. The fight between Mr. Go and Splinter resumes until Mr. Go strikes Splinter’s leg with his cane.
Splinter	Oh!
Mr. Go	Hyah!
	He delivers a spinning kick that sends Splinter flying. Splinter lands upright, but grimaces in pain and grabs his leg. Michelangelo rushes forward, nunchaku spinning.
Michelangelo	All right, zippy pants. Let’s see just how fast you--  uh!
	Mr. Go kicks him and his smashes into a wall again. Michelangelo gets up, but Mr. Go begins punching him, striking his plastron over and over again with both mutant unnatural speed and power. Mr. Go is driving the turtle backwards until he abruptly runs out of power.
Michelangelo	Huh? He-he.
	Mr. Go throws another punch and Michelangelo catches his fist.
Michelangelo	Hyah! [He kicks Mr. Go hard enough to send him smashing into a wall.] What’s the matter, sparky, dead battery?
	He lifts his nunchuck to deliver a blow when Mr. Touch arrives and punches Michelangelo so hard he flies past Splinter and hits a support post.
Michelangelo	Oh! Whoa! Uh!
Splinter	No! Michelangelo!
	He walks over and helps his son rise. Michelangelo looks up and sees Mr. Touch.
Michelangelo	Huh?
Mr. Touch	Oh, am I late, Mr. Go?
Mr. Go	Fashionably, Mr. Touch.
	They join fists again and recharge.]
Michelangelo	Huh?
	Splinter notices debris falling and looks up, noticing the walls and ceiling are cracking. He leaps up just before the assassins reach them, and delivers a hard kick to the support post that Michelangelo had slammed into. The post crumbles. Splinter jerks Michelangelo aside as the ceiling collapses atop the pair of assassins.
Michelangelo	U-uh, what the shell was that all about?
	Splinter signals him to be silent. They both hear pounding from beneath the rubble, and the debris begins to move.
Splinter	They are breaking through.
Michelangelo	Breaking through? What are these guys, terminators?
Splinter	We must go.
	He groans as he tries to put weight on his injured leg, and nearly falls, but Michelangelo catches him.
Michelangelo	Whoa. I got you, Sensei.
	They walk away as the pounding continues. On the rooftops, the race between Raphael and Leonardo continues.
Leonardo	Hyah! Ha, ha! Come on, step it up, snail boy!
Raphael	Oh, Leo’s kicking my shell. There’s gotta be some way I can...  Hey, if I cut across Old Atlinger Alley, I’ll beat him home in half the time. No way Leo’s gonna beat me now.
	He reaches a roof ledge, but as he steps on the corner post, the concrete crumbles and he falls.
Raphael	Ooh!
	On his way down, Raphael grabs a clothes line, flips around a couple of times and then flings himself forward. Spinning in mid-air, he grabs onto a light post, swings around, and then lands on the sidewalk.
Raphael	Man, I’m good.
Thug 1	Hey, come on, guys! Let’s get him! Let’s go!
Thug 2	Follow me, I see him!
Thug 1	Hurry up, come on! There he is! There’s one of those invading alien scum!
Raphael	What now, angry villagers?
Thug 2	There’s not way out! He’s on the move!
Thug 1	He went off that way!
Thug 3	Come on, let’s get him.
Mob	Yeah! Yeah!
Thug 3	No one invades our city and gets away with it!
Thug 1	Yeah, let’s teach him a lesson!
	Raphael flees down the sidewalk and then turns down an alley. The angry mob follows, tracking him with their flashlights.
Thug 1	Come on, follow me! He went around the corner. Let’s get him. Come on!
Raphael	New York, New York, it’s a shell of a town.
	He continues racing down the alley, and then makes a quick right turn into another narrower alley. He soon realizes it’s a dead end. Running back a few paces, he approaches the door to the only apartment in that alley and tries opening the door, but it’s locked.
Raphael	Oh, great. The old turtle luck running true to form.
Thug 2	Where did he go?
Thug 1	I don’t know, he was just here.
Thug 3	Let’s go.
Thug 1	Come on, this way.
	Raphael backs towards the wall and pulls his sai.
Raphael	Those bozos want a piece of me, they’re gonna get a little more than they bargained for.
	The mob draws closer and Raphael prepares for battle. Suddenly the apartment door opens, and an old woman stands there.
Mrs. Morrison	Yes? Who’s there?
	Raphael quickly leaps over next to the door, in the shadows. She continues looking straight ahead.
Raphael	Uh, me. I’m Raphael.
Mrs. Morrison	Oh, you must be one of Mr. Rossetti’s boys. I’m Mrs. Morrison. Help me, dear. Take my hand. I can’t see you. I can’t see anything. I’ve been blind for almost a year now. [Raphael puts his weapons away and takes her hand.] I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow. Come on in and I’ll show you what to do.
	She guides him into her apartment.  A second later, the mob arrives.
Thug 3	Excuse me, ma’am. You seen any strange alien creature run by here?
Mrs. Morrison	Ha, ha. Don’t be silly. There aren’t any aliens around here.
	She closes the door and the mob turns to leave.
Thug 3	Oh, he must have slipped past us.
Thug 1	Maybe he phoned home or something.
Thug 2	Aw, keep looking. We’ll find him.
	Michelangelo and Splinter reach a subway terminal.
Michelangelo	I don’t get it. Super strength? [He tries to lift a rolling door, but it’s locked down tight.]  Super speed? Sensei, how do we fight those guys?
Splinter	Focus, my son. Focus your mind and an opportunity will present itself.
Michelangelo	I don’t think there’s gonna be enough time for my brain to kick in. Here comes the dandy duo now.
Mr. Go	Hello again, my friends. Since you will not party with us, we will bring the party to you.
	They touch fists in order to recharge. Mr. Go then leaps from pillar to pillar with amazing speed until he’s right on top of Michelangelo and Splinter.
Michelangelo	Incoming!
	Mr. Go kicks Michelangelo aside and then spins to deliver a kick to the back of Splinter’s injured leg.
Splinter	No!
	Mr. Touch smashes a support post while attempting to hit Splinter. Michelangelo tries to use his nunchucks against Mr. Go, but the assassin is too fast for him and manages to deliver a blow of his own, which throws Michelangelo into a nearby bench. Momentarily stunned, he looks up to see Mr. Touch facing him and jumps off the bench to swing his weapons at the man. Mr. Touch grabs both nunchucks, knees Michelangelo in the plastron, and then proceeds to fling him onto the floor.
Michelangelo	Ugh! A little help here. Whoa!
	Splinter is battling Mr. Go, and manages to sweep his feet from under him before springing to Michelangelo’s aid. He leaps up and kicks the man hard enough to send him backwards into Mr. Go. Both Michelangelo and Splinter grimace in pain and groan.
Michelangelo	Did we win yet!
Mr. Go	Win? Ha, ha, ha! You make us laugh, little turtle man. [The pair recharge.] We’re just getting warmed up.
Michelangelo	Who are these guys?
	Back at Mrs. Morrison’s, Raphael hauls boxes of her belongings. A white cat sits on the boxes and meows at Raphael’s approach.
Mrs. Morrison	All those boxes go near the door. The large trunk, as well.
Raphael	You moving out, Mrs. M?
Mrs. Morrison	Forced out, I’m afraid. The bank’s foreclosing on my mortgage. Since my husband passed, well, the money’s mostly gone, and I haven’t any other family. All I have is Lucy, my cat.
	Lucy jumps down and rubs against Raphael’s hand as she meows. Raphael smiles at her and then looks thoughtful. At the subway terminal, the pair of assassins prepare to attack.
Mr. Go	Ah, this is going to be more fun than I had hoped, Mr. Touch.
Mr. Touch	Absolutely, Mr. Go.
Michelangelo	Aw, Touch and Go. That’s cute. Wait. Touch and go. [He visualizes the way they recharge.] I have an idea!
Splinter	This is no time for jokes, my son.
Michelangelo	No, really, I have a plan. [He glances over at a passing train.] But first, we need to put some distance between us and the wonder twins.
	The assassins move towards them and Splinter steps in front of Michelangelo, holding his walking stick defensively.
Splinter	My son, I am happy you are finally exercising your mind, but—
Michelangelo	Just follow my lead, Sensei.
Mr. Touch	I believe it’s time for the mutants to catch a train, Mr. Go.
	A train moves down the tracks in their direction as they fight on the edge of the tracks.
Mr. Go	Or for the train to catch the mutants, Mr. Touch.
	The train’s horn blows and the assassins knock Splinter and Michelangelo onto the tracks. They straighten up as the train bears down on them. The horn blows again as the train speeds past Mr. Touch and Mr. Go. When it is gone, the pair look down to see Splinter’s robe and walking stick along with Michelangelo’s nunchakus lying on the tracks.
Mr. Touch	Our employer will be pleased, Mr. Go.
Mr. Go	I am rather pleased myself, Mr. Touch.
	They both laugh and retrieve the items remaining on the tracks.
Mr. Touch	I believe we just earned ourselves some money, Mr. Go.
Mr. Go	What say we pay our employer a visit, Mr. Touch? I think it is payday for us, yes?
	Leonardo arrives at the lair and approaches Leatherhead and Donatello, who are still hard at work.
Donatello	Leatherhead, check the dish alignment. Something’s still wonky.
Leonardo	Hey, guys, did Raphael get back yet?
Donatello	I don’t think so.
Leatherhead	Haven’t seen him.
Leonardo	He should’ve been back by now. [Sighs.] Knowing Raph, he’s probably gotten himself into some kind of serious trouble.
	Back at Mrs. Morrisons, Raphael slurps a cup of tea.
Raphael	Mm, yeah.
Mrs. Morrison	Don’t slurp, son.
Raphael	Oh, uh, sorry, ma’am.
	Lucy meows and jumps onto Raphael’s shoulder. He laughs and scratches her under her chin.
Mrs. Morrison	Lucy’s really taken a liking to you, Raphael. She usually doesn’t take to strangers. She used to live in the alley out back. I sort of adopted her, or she adopted me. It’s hard to tell with cats.
Raphael	Hey, I’m a bit of an alley cat, too. Maybe that’s why she likes me.
Mrs. Morrison	Well, I shouldn’t keep you any longer. It is a school night, after all.
	Raphael chuckles, still petting Lucy, who is rubbing against his cheek.
Raphael	Yeah. My father will probably be waiting for me.
	He opens her apartment door and peeks out before stepping outside.
Mrs. Morrison	Maybe you could stop by again, Raphael. Lucy and I will be here a little longer. We’d love to have you.
Raphael	Me? Really? Thanks, Mrs. M. I’d like that.
	Cut to The Vilton Hotel, where Mr. Touch and Mr. Go are meeting with their employer in his penthouse suite.
Mr. Touch	We are pleased to report that our very first sortie—
Mr. Go	Was an unqualified success.
	Mr. Touch holds the items belonging to Splinter and Michelangelo, showing them as proof to Hun.
Hun	Gentlemen, I am impressed. Most impressed.
Mr. Go	The pleasure was all ours, mon ami.
Hun	My master will be most pleased. [He tosses a briefcase to Mr. Go.] Your payment for the rat and one shell back.
	Mr. Go opens the briefcase, which is full of money. Mr. Touch drops the items he’s holding and both men smile.
Mr. Go	For me? Aw, you shouldn’t have. Oh, and it’s green. My favorite.
Hun	Eliminate the other turtles and I’ll triple it.
	There’s a knock on the door followed by a high, falsetto voice, which is in fact, Michelangelo.
Michelangelo	Hello? Room service.
Hun	We placed no order.
Michelangelo	Uh, yes you did.
	Hun stalks towards the door.
Hun	Go away! We place no order! [He yanks the door open and sees Michelangelo with a food cart.] Huh?
Michelangelo	Well, somebody ordered a serious butt whooping.
Hun	Aah!
	He rams the cart into Hun who flies across the room and smashes into Mr. Go. The briefcase hits the floor and money sprays into the air.
Mr. Go	Get off of me, you colossal oaf!
Michelangelo	Well, well, Mr. T. Looks like it’s just you and me, [He swings a tray at the man’s head, but misses.] and I pity the fool who throws me in front of a moving train! [Mr. Touch socks him hard and Michelangelo slides across the room.] Whoa! Uh! Uh! Oh! [Mr. Touch walks towards him and Michelangelo stands up.] Let’s try that again, shall we?
	Above them, in the ceiling access way, Splinter opens a vent panel and watches his son dodge Mr. Touch’s attempt to hit him again.
Michelangelo	Whoop. Denied. Ah, ha! Aw, so close.
	Mr. Touch growls in frustration as his power starts to fade. Splinter shoves a fire extinguisher hose through the ceiling opening and opens the valve. Smoke fills the room.
Michelangelo	All right, Touchy, now you’re gonna get it. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Mr. Touch	What are you trying to pull? [Michelangelo collects his nunchucks.]  This silly fog will not protect you for long, little one.
	Michelangelo taps him on the shoulder. He turns and immediately sees the end of a nunchuck coming at his face. It connects squarely. Mr. Touch stumbles back and then turns, growling and furious.
Michelangelo	What’s the matter? Can’t hit what you can’t see? [He ducks into the fog as Mr. Touch swings and misses.] As a ninja, I don’t have that problem. [He kicks Mr. Touch in the back and then dodges another swing. Michelangelo lifts a chair and Mr. Touch smashes it, but Michelangelo disappears again.] If you can’t see me, [he kicks the man] you probably can’t see your little buddy either.
	Mr. Go finally manages to shove Hun off of him.
Michelangelo	And I’m betting that if you can’t get to him, once you’re out of juice...
	He grabs onto a pillar and then lifts his body up as Mr. Touch throws a punch. The man slams his fist into the concrete pillar.
Mr. Touch	Ow!
Michelangelo	...you’re out of luck. Hyah!
	Michelangelo kicks him with both feet. Mr. Touch flies back and crashes into Mr. Go and Hun. All three go out the window. Hun manages to snag the outer ledge, but the pair of assassins plummet to the ground.
Both	Aah!
	Michelangelo looks through the broken glass and see the assassins lying unmoving in a crater in the sidewalk.
Michelangelo	Hun, my man, you throw one shell of a shindig. [He indicates the briefcase of money that he’s holding.] Thanks for the lovely party favor. Ha, ha, ha!
	Hun growls. Sirens wails as police cars arrive at the building. Splinter joins his son and gasps when he sees that Mr. Touch and Mr. Go have disappeared.
Splinter	Come, Michelangelo, we must go. It is not safe here.
Michelangelo	You know, Sensei, this whole using your mind thing, it’s wild! First I thought, throw them in front of the train. But then I thought, no. Let them think they’re throwing us in front of the train. And then—
Splinter	Yes, yes, my son. It is a brave new world for you.
	They leave the penthouse. Back at the turtles’ lair, Leonardo is pacing. He turns at the sound of the elevator door.
Leonardo	Jeez, Raph, I always said you were slow, but come on. What happened?
Michelangelo	Yo, guys, you won’t believe this! [He holds up the briefcase.] I have in my possession a briefcase overflowing with possibilities. [He opens it to reveal the cash.] A truckload of rare comics, twenty-two new televisions, eight hundred and thirty-two consecutive days of Chinese take-out!
Raphael	Actually, Mikey, I got a better idea.
	Raphael knocks on Mrs. Morrison’s door and she opens it.
Mrs. Morrison	Who’s there?
Raphael	Hey, Mrs. M, it’s me, Raphael. I found this case on your doorstep. It’s, uh, it’s full of money.
Mrs. Morrison	[gasps] Who could have done such a thing?
	Raphael puts the case in her hands.
Raphael	Know what I think? I think you got a guardian angel who wants to see you stay right where you belong.

{Roll end credits}