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Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids. |
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Woman A "I like it better here. It's... Merry." Man A "Me link drink." Woman B "I told myself I'd leave the day I got bored and it hasn't happened yet!" Woman C "I don't see a reason to go back. There was no one left for me there." Man B "You're a furry fox creature! Outstanding, mannn!" Woman D "I, uh—blaaarrrgh!" Man C "That's a stupid question." Man C "You seen Mega-Blade around here anywhere?" Man D "Leave? Ha heh... B-But..." Man D "Ha ha! To be—haha honest?" |
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Man D "Ha! The thought never crossed my mind!" Man D "Hahaaa!" Nobody "Okay... Never mind, then..." Alopex "Maybe they're right... Maybe we should just stay and... Have fun for once. No more ninja stuff..." Alopex "I want more of those marshmallow raspberry things, where's the guy with the tray..." Nobody "I guess we cou—" |
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Nobody "Nope! Time to go!" Alopex "Aaagh! Ew ew ew!" Nobody "I can't even think! There's air hockey and scented door handles and... Stuff!" Nobody "Too much stuff everywhere! And too many frogs." Alopex "Okay, we can figure this out... Um... This is what the Pantheon people do, they mess with you and distract you so much you forget who you are." Alopex "Kitsune talked in my head so much I couldn't hear myself think anymore." Alopex "Maybe she's lonely..." Alopex "Toad Baron's got so much shiny loud stuff everywhere you can't tell what's what." Nobody "But how do you fight something like that?" Alopex "We focus. On what's real." Nobody "Yeah... Like us. Who we are." |
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Nobody "Inside, I'm so pissed off. At people, at the world, at everyone who doesn't fight back." Nobody "I'm pissed at the drunk driver who took my mom." Nobody "Being calm and collected—it's all an act. I just... Wanna hit the world 'til it makes sense. That's why I fight with the turtles and Casey and you." Nobody "I keep hopin' someday I'll hit the one thing that makes everything right somehow." |
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Alopex "Maybe we should do what we do best, then." Nobody "Yeah. I've been to enough parties to know that the best way to get thrown out..." Nobody "...Is to start a fight." |
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Toad Baron "Hmm. Ensure the imperial truffilicious raindust has extra fluff." Toad Baron "Do not forget a pinch of lunarian bricket in the flickering cold god-roast, that's my sister Jagwar's favorite!" Toad Baron "But do forget the green nok-nok this time. Please." Toad Baron "And mellifluous melodies must be sung into the batter of the pristine argent, lest it become dry and bitter." Nobody "Oh, I know I've been to much better parties than this." Alopex "Tell me about it. Our normal regular lives back home are so much cooler." Toad Baron "Feh, impossible! You mortals are but tadpoles in the realms of experience! There is nothing more compelling than these wonders!" Nobody "I dunno, dude. Your party is kiiind of a snooze." Alopex "Snooorre!" Toad Baron "Slake your hunger on roast hippogriff!" Toad Baron "Behold the phantasmal flames of Navera!!" Toad Baron "Play the unreleased Lords of Fighting 2 with Tony Bennett!!!" |
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Alopex "C'mon, if we're stuck here we might as well get some training in." Nobody "Yeah, you're a little rusty anyway, heh." Alopex "Oh, now you're asking for it." Toad Baron "Perhaps some unthistled pomgo stew gathered from the furthest reaches of the bog of lost memory?" Toad Baron "Look! Witness the noctilithic maul glow its rare light, seen only once a century!" Toad Baron "Hark, lend your ears to the lost notes of the dragon's elegy!" Toad Baron "Delightful!" Toad Baron "Gorge upon forbidden lunarian star-sweets!" Toad Baron "Some... Some rare antediluvian silver wine, maybe...?" Toad Baron "The... Um... S-Some seared shark!" Toad Baron "Frozen yogurt!" |
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Toad Baron "Anything you desire!" Woman E "What are those two up to?" Men E "They seem to be engaged in some manner of fisticuffs!" Woman E "How novel!" Toad Baron "No! Don't pay attention to them! They're boring!" Toad Baron "Pay attention to the delights around you!" Toad Baron "The delights!" Woman F "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Nobody "Fighting!" Nobody "Anyone want to join us?" |
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Nobody "Okay, you wanna plant your feet like this..." Nobody "And always keep your fists up, like this!" Toad Baron "Harumph! Everyone wants to demean themselves with the lowest form of entertainment, mere pugilism?" CLAP CLAP Toad Baron "Everyone, brandish a weapon! There will be a grand, entertaining battle!" |
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KRASH Toad Baron "Yes. I see. Act like barbarians, then. Very droll." SSHRRIIP Alopex "This is so fun, you guys!" Alopex "Now, let's wreck this beautiful stuff over here!" Nobody "Yeah! C'mon!" WOOOO! YEAAAH! |
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Toad Baron "No! Stop! No no no!" Toad Baron "I am a very gracious host, but—" Nobody "No way!" Nobody "If you're so gracious then let us go!" Alopex "Yeah! We're all stuck in this nightmare dump!" Woman G "We are?" |
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Toad Baron "Why would anyone want to leave? I ask you, why leave all of the wonderful neverending delights behind?" Woman E "The delights are pretty good..." Man E "And you can't even get imperial truffilicious raindust back home..." Alopex "If the delights are neverending, why not smash 'em?!" Nobody "Yeah! Think of how much fun it'd be to destroy all this stuff!" Nobody "Toad Baron's got more, anyway. And he wants us to have fun!" Nobody "Right, Toad Baron?" Toad Baron "W-Well, yes, but—" Alopex "You heard the big guy!" Nobody "Smash!" YAAAAAAAH! |
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Toad Baron "Stoppp ittt!" Toad Baron "You are the worst guests ever!" Toad Baron "I can tell why my siblings like you mutants and misfits so much." Toad Baron "All you want is to fight, fight, fight. Just dreadful." Nobody "We want outta here!" Nobody "You know, Toady, nothin's worse than a host who doesn't want the party to end." |
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Toad Baron "How dare you?" Toad Baron "I offered you pleasure, sanctuary, and joy." Toad Baron "My siblings won't be nearly so kind, I assure you." Toad Baron "But now..." Toad Baron "...Get out!" Toad Baron "I tried so hard... Why didn't they like me?" Man F "Um... We like you, Toad Baron." Toad Baron "...Really?" Man G "Yeah, you really do throw the best parties." |
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Toad Baron "That's correct. I do throw the best parties. Legendary parties." Toad Baron "Oh! My family! The party!" Toad Baron "They will be arriving soon! I must prepare!" Toad Baron "With haste!" Toad Baron "Get the neon waterful flowing!" Toad Baron "Re-string the harp of abandon!" Toad Baron "And someone get me ten teaspoons of paprika immediately!" Alopex "Whoa, we're back. That was..." Nobody "...Not fun." |
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Angel (Nobody) "Dude. I never wanna go to another party or see another frog as long as I live." Alopex "I'm gonna puke if I see any food again." Angel "Huh. My gauntlet says we were only gone a couple hours." Alopex "Ugh, it felt like weeks." Angel "Maybe it was, like time was different there, since it was another dimension?" Alopex "Hey, um, thank you." Angel "Huh? What?" Alopex "Remember I said I might leave?" Alopex "I thought I might have been done with everything, but after all this, seeing you do your thing back in that place... It was awesome." Angel "Heh. I told you why I always fight, though. It ain't noble or nothin'." Alopex "Oh, shut up." Alopex "I'm proud you're my friend, Angel. I don't wanna leave you." Angel "Aw. Right back atcha, silly fluffy girl. Gimme a hug." |
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Angel "...Hey, at Toad Baron's place, did you really mean it when you said I was your best friend?" Alopex "Yeah. I did. Totally." Angel "I'm your best friend more than Pepperoni?" Alopex "Haha, well, maybe. But you're like, my what is it called? BFF?" Angel "Heh, yeah. Well, I'm yours, too, then. We make a pretty good team." BEEP BEEP BEEP Alopex "Uh-oh, what is that?" Angel "Whoa, check this out. It tracked where we went." Angel "It's got the coordinates for wherever the hell Toad Baron's place is." |
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Angel "Ugh, like we'd ever wanna go back there." Alopex "Wait. What if we could?" Angel "Are you nuts?!" Alopex "No, wait, shut up!" Alopex "Toad Baron said the other Pantheon guys were coming to his place, right?" Alopex "What if we could like, spy on them?" Alopex "What if we knew what they were gonna do?" Alopex "What if we knew who all the players were?" Angel "I like the way you're thinking..." "...Time to turn the tables!" |