Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.
[The Kah Lil High-Security Prison.]
"It's all overkill, I tell you!"
"This imbecilic circus they've rolled out—"
"—It reeks of putrid political theater!"
"I wonder—do that fool Zenter's subjects realize how he's spending their precious tax dollars on such an utter waste of time and energy?"
"And for what?! To subjugate the innocent in this absolute charade of a case, that's what!"
"To place guilt where there is none!"
"I say again—"
Vin-Bini "Yes, well, overkilling is exactly what's put you in this precarious position, General Krang."
Vin-Bini "Attempted mass genocide... And in two dimensions, no less."
Krang "Damn them and their genocide! My planet was dying—my very people—through no fault of my own!"
Krang "Yet, despite my lack of culpability, I acted. I did what had to be done to ensure my race lived on... What any true leader would do faced with the same dire circumstances."
Krang "Tell me, Councilor Vin-Bini—had I remained idle and allowed them to all perish, would that have been any less an act of genocide on my part?"
Vin-Bini "Frankly, General, as your counsel, your innocence or guilt matters little to me."
Vin-Bini "A sound and solid defense is my chief concern and I will most certainly utilize your self-proclaimed benevolent motives to that effect, insubstantial as they may be."
Krang "How dare you question my motivations!"
Vin-Bini "Again, it's not I who is questioning such things."
Vin-Bini "It's the war crimes tribunal, and based on the case they've built—and continue to build—against you, our path forward is a steep and treacherous one at best."
Vin-Bini "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have the "trial of the century" to prepare for."
Krang "Trial of the century—bah!"
Krang "Farce of the century more like."
Krang "Are you still there, hunter?"
Hakk-R "Unfortunately, yes. If you think your cell's a tight fit, try crawling through these ducts."
Krang "Then what would be the point of paying you so handsomely for such trifle inconveniences?"
Hakk-R "Well, escape, for one. It was child's play for me to trick the pitiful security cameras in your cell--"
"--Those idiot guards think you're sleeping."
Hakk-R "Why go through all this trouble when I could easily remove this vent cover and slip you out of this place?"
Krang "And give these Neutrino scum one more criminal offense to hold against me? No. Escape would only make me a fugitive from the law."
Krang "I fully plan to clear my name and walk out of here a free Utrom—my first steps toward making these craven fools rue the day they dared hold Krang prisoner."
Krang "No witnesses, no case. No case, no conviction."
Krang "Take this. You already have the names and locations you acquired from that metal monstrosity Fugitoid.* Now you have your orders."
Hakk-R "Aye aye, General."
Krang "And, Hakk-R, I trust you understand—time is of the essence. The trial starts in mere days."
Krang "Leave now..."
"...And let nothing stand in your way."
Leonardo "Okay, is everyone all set?"
Leo "We're not forgetting anything before we head out?"
Raphael "For the hundredth time, we're good to go, Leo. Ain't like we're leavin' forever."
Michelangelo "Yeah, big bro."
Mikey "It's just a short jump into a whole other dimension to help round up a bunch of sketchy witnesses so we can put that kook Krang in jail for good."
Mikey "What's to worry about?"
Donatello "Great, Mike... Just stress him out more."
Donnie "Okay—security system's ready. This place'll be in full lockdown as soon as we teleport out of here."
Donnie "I already gave April all the passcodes, and we should be all set."
Zayton Honeycutt "That is good to hear, Donatello..."
Honeycutt "...As I suspect our Neutrino escort will be arriving shortly."
Mikey "Is it Princess Trib?! Oh, man, how cool would that be?"
Honeycutt "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Michelangelo, but a member of the royal family would never take part in a simple escort mission... No matter how "cool" it might be."
Mikey "Bummer. I really wanted to show her my sick manga collection."
Donnie "Personally I can't wait to get going."
Donnie "A little inter-dimensional jaunt sounds perfect right about now."
Raph "Okay, girl, listen up..."
Raph "...April's gonna come here every day while I'm gone to check up on you. So, you be a good girl and don't make any trouble for her."
Raph "And absolutely no swimmin'."
Raph "But you can hang out in Leo's room all you want, okay?"
Honeycutt "Ah, excellent..."
Honeycutt "...Right on schedule."
Dask "Anyone call for a Neutrino escort?"
Leo "It's great to see you again, Commander Dask!"
Dask "Likewise, my friends. It appears the glorious heroes of the Krang War remain fit and healthy."
Mikey " "Glorious heroes." Sweet!"
Raph "Yo, Commander, where's Zak and Kala?"
Dask "We'll be meeting up with them on Planet Neutrino, Raphael. They had... Um... Other trial-related business to attend to first."
Dask "Professor Honeycutt, are we ready?"
Honeycutt "We are indeed, Commander."
Dask "Next stop, Smada City."
"Talk about divin' right in..."
Raph "How'd that psycho get here?"
Leo "Get ready, guys."
Honeycutt "No, please, my friends, lower your weapons--"
Honeycutt "--Leatherhead is here by invitation."
Leatherhead "Invitation, Professor? I think you and I have differing opinions on that particular term's definition."
Donnie "Professor, what the heck's going on?"
Honeycutt "My apologies, Donatello."
Honeycutt "I'd hoped to have time to warn you before this unsettling reunion."
Honeycutt "Commander Dask's troops delivered the subpoena much quicker than I anticipated."
Zak "What's the matter, daddy-o..."
Zak "...That too big a word for you Earth punks?"
Raph "Zak, my man! How you doin'?"
Zak "I'm way chill, pay. Way chill."
Mikey "Kala, what happened to you guys?"
Kala "Leatherhead happened, Mikey—"
Kala "—Let's just say his cooperation was sorely lacking when we delivered the court summons to him."
Leatherhead "An unfortunate misunderstanding, really."
Leatherhead "Teleporting in without warning like you did doesn't give one much time to proffer cordial greetings."
Leo "Well, I don't understand any of this. Why is Leatherhead even here?"
Donnie "And how did you find him?"
Honeycutt "With the assistance of the Utrom Ma'riell, actually. She's determined to restore the honor of her people and has been very supportive in our efforts to prosecute General Krang."
Honeycutt "It was she who informed me of the tracker implanted within Leatherhead's body by the general during his long imprisonment on Burnow Island."
Kala "Not anymore."
"—The whacko ripped it out with his own teeth."
Mikey "Ew. Gross."
Leatherhead "A mere flesh wound, nothing more."
Leo "Okay, we know the how. But why?"
Honeycutt "It is--"
Leatherhead "I believe I can explain, if you don't mind, Professor—"
Leatherhead "—After all, it feels rather strange to have everyone speaking for me when I'm standing right here."
Honeycutt "Certainly, Leatherhead. My apologies."
Raph "This oughtta be good."
Leatherhead "As you are all aware, I maintain an intense interest in bringing the Utroms to justice for their many crimes against nature, General Krang in particular."
Leatherhead "Years of imprisonment and torture tend to drive that need in a person."
"Ironically, it was the Utrom scientist—as the good professor already mentioned—who suggested I be sought out to testify as a witness to Krang's atrocities on Earth."
"Soon thereafter, the Neutrinos arrived with their summons, and following a momentary bit of confusion, I decided that short of delivering long overdue punishment to Krang myself, I would take part in the court proceedings intended to lock him away for the remainder of his miserable existence..."
Leatherhead "...A just sentence for my former jailer if ever there was one."
Raph "And we're just supposed to trust this backstabbin' nut-job? Last time we were with him, he knocked Fugitoid's head off!*"
Zak "I hear you, Raph, but other than our initial dust-up, Leatherhead's been one hundred percent compliant."
Zak "I think he's serious about wanting to help put Krang away."
Dask "The enemy of my enemy is my friend..."
Dask "...At least for now."
Dask "But enough of this. You really didn't think we'd bring our Earth friends here without a special welcome, did you?"
Dask "So, if you'd all follow me, please..."
Page 10 & 11
"...You're wanted at the royal palace."
Crier "Hear ye! Hear ye!"
Crier "Their Royal Majesties—King Zenter, Queen Gizzla, and Princess Trib—"
Crier "—Have summoned you all here today to join them in honoring Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo. Citizens of Earth..."
Crier "...And the glorious heroes of the Krang war!"
Mikey "Pinch me, Donnie, 'cause I think I'm dreamin'."
Donnie "You and me both, Mike."
Trib "Please... Come forward, my friends."
Mikey "Oh, man, this is so cool. I'm totally Luke right now... And Leo's Han Solo. Raph, you can be Chewie—"
Mikey "—Bummer, no medal for you, dude."
Donnie "Wait, who am I?"
Raph "A lonely nerd, bro. How many time's I gotta tell ya?"
Leo "Shh! Guys—lock it up!"
Trib "My fellow citizens, it is my absolute honor and privilege to speak for my father the King and my mother the Queen on this auspicious occasion."
Trib "And auspicious it truly is, for how often are we able to welcome returning heroes to our humble planet—a planet that now knows freedom from the horrors of war wrought against us not so long ago by the despot Krang..."
Trib "...Thanks in great part to the valiant and selfless actions of these four warriors who stand before us."
Donnie "Thanks, Princess."
Leo "Thank you, Your Highness."
Trib "Four respected names that will be etched into the annals of Neutrino history for all eternity."
Trib "Four brave heroes who will always be remembered for the harrowing sacrifices they made in order to allow for that once-desolate history to march onward into a hopeful and blessed present and future."
Trib "But most importantly, four wonderful friends..."
"...Who will be cherished forever."
Trib "Oh, Mikey! I'm so happy to see you!"
Mikey "I'm dreamin'... Totally dreamin'."
Trib "I know the ceremony was all so awfully formal, but when I heard you and your brothers were coming, I just knew we had to do something special for all of you."
Trib "I hope you don't mind."
Mikey "Um... Actually, it was the most awesomest thing that's ever happened to me."
Mikey "Well, until that hug just now."
Zenter "Yes, my friends, Queen Gizzla and I share our daughter's enthusiasm on your return... As well as for your willingness to once again help our people in a time of need."
Gizzla "My husband speaks truly."
Gizzla "Knowing you will be accompanying the good Professor Honeycutt on such a monumentally important task gives us the utmost confidence we will soon be able to put Krang's tyrannical reign behind us forever."
Zenter "And none too soon, as it turns out."
Zenter "Our allies on the outer perimeter have sent reports recently that the Malignoid Swarm is on the move and quickly approaching this part of Dimension X."
Zenter "Each new skirmish brings their destruction closer to Planet Neutrino, and putting our Krang problem to rest once and for all will certainly help us focus on the new dangers just over the horizon."
Zenter "Maligna, it seems, is determined to fill the terrible vacuum left behind by Krang's defeat."
[* See TMNT#56-B.C.]
Dask "A discussion for another time—"
Dask "—Forgive my interruption, Your Highness, but Councilor Apap has arrived per your request."
Zenter "Yes, yes... Please, Councilor Apap, join us."
Zenter "I would hear how goes the case you and your fellow prosecutors are building against Krang."
Apap "Frankly, Your Majesty, we're at a bit of standstill at the moment."
Apap "As you know, had we been able to prosecute the general—or even his father Quanin—prior to the destruction of their home world Utrominon, we would have had ample access to direct evidence and willing witnesses against both."
"Unfortunately, when the planet was lost, so, too, was said evidence and witnesses."
"That is why it is so vitally important that Professor Honeycutt's mission succeed."
Apap "We need these key witnesses to testify if we are to have any chance at winning the maximum sentence we all know Krang so heinously deserves."
Apap "Each of them, in their own way, is privy to the dirt we need to bury Krang for good."
Apap "But as you can see, this is a disparate group of individuals spread out over a large swath of Dimension X."
Apap "And, unlike our friend Leatherhead here, it's likely most of them will not come of their own volition."
Apap "On the contrary, there are some among them who would prefer the status quo to remain as it pertains to General Krang."
Zenter "Yes. It is a sad truth that the kind of chaos and uncertainty a terrorist like Krang creates can be extremely profitable for some."
Raph "Don't we know it."
Apap "So, to answer your query, King Zenter, we are building a case, but it remains paper thin and circumstantial without the witness testimony."
Apap "We can only hope that Professor Honeycutt will be successful in convincing them that ultimately Dimension X—and their own lives—are safer with Krang behind bars."
Zenter "Councilor Apap!"
Mikey "What the—?"
Mikey "Under the table!"
Raph "Oh, no you don't!"
Raph "You ain't goin' nowhere!"
Dask "Your Majesties, get behind me!"
Dask "Kala and Zak! Command room, stat!"
>On our way, Commander!<
Raph "Dammit! I lost him!"
Leatherhead "That's okay."
Leatherhead "I didn't."
Leo "Leatherhead, be careful! He's—"
Leatherhead "My eyes!"
Hakk-R "Very slippery."
Hakk-R "Nice weapons."
Hakk-R "Mind if I copy?"
Hakk-R "Now, none of you lot are on my list..."
Hakk-R "...But exceptions can always be made."
Zak "Commander, what's going on?!"
Hakk-R "More of you, eh?"
Hakk-R "Looks like I'll be earning some serious overtime on this gig."
Leatherhead "You're not the only slippery one."
Zak "Not just him, either..."
Zak "...Councilor Apap's dead."
Zenter "Which means our case against Krang may be dead as well. AS important as the witnesses are, poor Apap was the brain trust for the prosecution—our success hinged on his expansive knowledge of the evidence."
Zenter "I don't know how we can continue forward without him."
Trib "But, Father, we can't just give up."
Leo "The princess is right..."
Leo "...We've all come too far to quit now."
Leo "Professor, you know more about Krang than anyone else—the good and the bad, right?"
Honeycutt "Well, I... Yes, I suppose I do."
Leo "Then I think this case hinges on your knowledge now. You need to lead the prosecution and make this a winnable case. If anyone can take Krang down in court, it's you."
Honeycutt "But... The witnesses? Who will retrieve them?"
Leo "Leave that to us."
Dask "All right, you've got your coordinates and your timeline..."
Dask "...It's as tight as it gets, but I know you two can do it. You bring our friends and those witnesses back safe and sound and I'll keep an eye on things here. Roger that?"
Kala & Zak "Sir!"
Leo "Commander, be careful with Leatherhead."
Leo "I just don't know if he can be trusted."
Dask "Duly noted."
Donnie "Guys, Professor Honeycutt gave me these. They're universal translation/environmental modulators."
Donnie "Keep them in your gear and they'll allow us to speak and breathe no matter where we go."
Donnie "Pretty amazing, huh?"
Mikey "Oh, man, Zak, this baby's totally a space hotrod!"
Zak "Well, Mikey, if you think this ol' girl looks pretty..."
"...Just wait 'till you see what she can do!"
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