The No-Joke Affair is a Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles (comic strip), published in the Daily Mirror. This comic strip ran from October 29, 1990 to January 28, 1991 and were numbered 158 through 235.
Appearing in The No-Joke Affair[]
Major characters[]
- Art E. Choke (debut)
- Donatello
- Leonardo
- Lizard Gang (debut)
- Rudolph McLizard (debut)
- Michaelangelo
- Raphael
- Shredder
- Splinter
Minor characters[]
Species[]
- Disembodied brain
- Humans
- Mutant rat
- Mutant rhinoceros
- Mutant turtles
- Mutant warthog
Locations[]
- New York City
- Fish Market
- The Moviedrome
- Turtle Lair
Objects and vehicles[]
- Bō
- Cane
- EX 42
- Jet powered skis
- Katana
- Sai
- Technodrome
- Turtle Van
Plot[]
In the lair, the Turtles are enjoying pizza when Master Splinter arrives to remind them that it's time for their daily practice. As they go through their practice session, Splinter notices that Michaelangelo is not his usual fun-loving self and decides that he needs to keep an eye on him.
Meanwhile, the crime boss Art E. Choke is plotting to take over crime in the city and intends to enlist the aid of the Lizard Gang in order to reach that goal. His assistant tells him that cops aren't the biggest threat to his aspirations, that the bigger threat is the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Choke demands his assistant get someone who knows about the Turtles. Soon, the Shredder is in his office. Shredder tells Choke that his life's ambition is to destroy the Turtles, even if it means joining forces. Choke wants to know everything about the Turtles, but Shredder says he shall destroy them in his own time. However, Choke responds that Shredder would be a sucker to turn down his partners, who have just arrived. Choke introduces Rudolph McLizard and his gang.
Back in the sewers, the Turtles are watching April O'Neil's news report, but notice that Mikey is missing. They don't know that he's donned a disguise and has gone topside to look for a way to lift his spirits. He finally decides on a comedy movie playing in at The Moviedrome. At the lair, Splinter is sending the other three Turtles out to look for him. Once they are topside, Raphael and Donatello voice their concerns about the three of them trying to search an entire city, but Leonardo tells them they must search because the Master ordered it. Raph soon comes upon the movie theater and knowing his brother loves movies, he goes inside. He's elated when he finds Mikey. Sitting down next to him, Raph demands that his brother tell him what his problem is.
Choke wants to know everything about the Turtles, but Shredder says he shall destroy them in his own time. However, Choke responds that Shredder would be a sucker to turn down his partners, who have just arrived. Choke introduces Rudolph McLizard and his gang.
Walking through an alley after leaving the movies, Raph can't believe that Mikey thinks he's lost his sense of humor. Mikey replies that he's a party animal and needs to enjoy life as well as helping to put down the bad guys. Raph says he just needs some action in order to clear his head.
Implementing their plan, McLizard and his gang proceed to go on a crime wave, which prompts April to report on the incidents. She tips the camera a wink as she says that the police need help and the Turtles know that she means them. Soon the Turtles confront the Lizard Gang as they exit a bank they've robbed. McLizard notices that while three of the Turtles are beating up his guys, the one in orange doesn't look like his heart's in the fight. He attacks Mikey, knocking him back against a wall and then the rest of the gang pile on him. Leo shouts that Mikey can usually handle four bad guys easily but Raph tells him that Mikey's not fighting well. The three Turtles rush to his aid, but they are too late. Mikey is down on the sidewalk and out cold. His brothers pick him up and take him back to the sewers while the gang gloats at having sent them running.
Splinter immediately goes to Mikey when his brothers lay him out on the couch. Upon examining Mikey, Splinter says that he's in a deep coma, which could be serious. Though the other Turtles say that there must be something they can do, Splinter tells them all they can do is wait... and hope.
At his hideout, Choke and McLizard are relishing their victory. Suddenly, Shredder punches through the door and once more repeats that he's capable of defeating the Turtles by himself. Choke interrupts him to say that McLizard succeeded when all Shredder has done is fail. Angered, Shredder demolishes the door frame.
The Turtles and Splinter continue their vigil over Michaelangelo. Splinter tells them all to prepare themselves for the worst because Mikey's heartbeat is weak. Raph abruptly announces that Mikey is his best bud and he can't stand by doing nothing. He grabs Mikey's Jet powered ski, slips into a disguise and heads out for some life-saving pizza. He arrives at the pizza parlor and orders a mega sized jelly bean and mushroom pizza to go. Raph is soon back at the lair with the pizza and begins waving it in front of Mikey's face. For a few minutes nothing happens, but then Mikey's eyelids flutter and then he sits up, to the elation of his family.
Shredder has returned to his own hideout and rants to Bebop and Rocksteady about the Lizard Gang's victory over the Turtles. He then pushes them aside and places a call to Krang in Dimension X. Krang advises him to speak to Baxter Stockman and get him to invent something to put the Turtles at a disadvantage. Stockman says he has just the thing - a potion he calls EX 42. The potion shrinks people and Shredder is excited at this news, deciding he'll use it on the Turtles and the Lizard Gang. Shredder soon rejoins Choke and uses flattery as he suggests that the Lizard Gang enter the sewers and defeat the Turtles on their own ground. McLizard likes the plan and agrees to it. Shredder gives them instructions to the Turtles' stronghold and then leaves to drop an EX 42 bomb down among them all.
As Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady wait with the bomb, the Turtles decide to stop the Lizard Gang before they can start another crime wave. Out in the tunnels, they encounter just the people they were looking for and a fight ensues. While they are busy, Shredder drops the bomb down amongst them. For a short while everyone chokes on the smoke and then when it clears, they all realize they've shrunken in size. Because both groups have shrunk, the fight continues, until Shredder and his two mutants enter the sewers and try to stomp on the tiny Turtles. Mikey races over to his jet skateboard and activates it, causing the skateboard to zoom towards the giant trio.
Shredder and his mutants dive into the water to avoid being hit and the Turtles cheer. They decide to find April so they can get her help. The Turtles float on a pizza box to the storm drain nearest April's apartment and then present her with their dilemma. After hearing their story, April says that the shrinking potion had to have been Stockman's invention and that they'll pay him a visit. April goes to Stockman's lab and bursts through the door to confront the inventor. He tries to deny having done anything, but April opens the pizza box she's carrying and displays the tiny Turtles. Stockman tries again to say he had nothing to do with it, but an angry April goes after the man with a cane. The Turtles are very impressed with her ferocity. Finally Stockman admits everything and when April asks how to get the Turtles back to normal, he tells her the potion only lasts two hours. The Turtles suddenly start to feel strange and then quickly grow back to normal size.
Elsewhere, McLizard, Choke and Shredder all curse the Turtles. Choke also turns on the entire Lizard Gang and calls them names, telling them they are letting four green reptiles stand in the way of his greatness. His assistant then steps into the room and announces the arrival of the Shredder. Entering the office, Shredder immediately claims that he can tell Choke how to overcome the Turtles. He tells them that a mutated rat called Splinter is their sensei and if they take him, the Turtles will do as they're told.
In the lair, the Turtles munch on pizza and talk to Splinter about their experiences. Suddenly a note drops through the sewer grate above them. Leo reads the note, which is a plea for help from April, who says that the Lizard Gang have her trapped in her apartment. The Turtles quickly rush out, ignoring Splinter's calls to them to wait. Splinter realized immediately that if April was trapped, she couldn't have sent a note to the sewers. When the Turtles arrive at April's apartment and see that there is no danger, they too comprehend that the note was phony. They have left their Master unguarded!
Sure enough, the Lizard Gang have captured Splinter. The Turtles and April rush back to the lair in the Turtle Van, but find that Splinter is gone. A note has been left telling the Turtles that if they want the rat back they must go to the Fish Market and fight it out. April warns them that it's surely a trap, but they've figured that out for themselves. April drives on the way to the Fish Market so that the Turtles can stoke up on pizza for energy. Before they enter the market warehouse, Leo tells his brothers to follow plan "Green Four". The building seems empty, but Mikey soon spots Splinter, who is tied to stakes that stick out of the wall. Just then, the Lizard Gang leap out of hiding to attack.
The Turtles split up, but find themselves once more outnumbered, with Mikey taking a hit again. Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady watch the fight, gleeful that it seems the Turtles will soon fall. April also watches from behind a door, but there is nothing she can do. Suddenly Mikey splits off from the group and races towards some wooden crates. His sense of smell has taken him to a crate filled with fish and he proceeds to use them as weapons, quickly hurling the smelly fish at the gang. The gang trip and slide on the fish and soon the gang is dizzy and out of sorts. The Turtles rush in to pummel them and the Lizard Gang finally flees the premises, swearing to give up on gang life. Mikey still has three very large fish that he's been saving for Shredder and his two mutants. He throws the fish at his enemies and smacks each of the three right in the face.
Defeated, Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady leave, though Shredder vows to some day beat the Turtles. Art E. Choke takes a packed bag and leaves town, certain that there has to be a better way to make a living. Back at the lair, the Turtles, Splinter and April enjoy a pizza party in celebration of their win.
See also[]
Errors[]
- Raphael has a blue bandana when he locates Michaelangelo in the theater and walks back to the lair with him.
- April is swinging a cane at Stockman during their confrontation, but she calls it a bō.