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Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids. |
Intro[]
Intro: Raphael "Lemme tell ya a story..." [He is standing in a cemetery. Gravestones on either side of him read "Eastman RIP" and "Laird RIP".] Raphael "In fact, lemme tell ya two stories... ...Stories that feature monsters!" [Closeup on two more gravestones.] The Night of Monsterex Monsters are the Rage |
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CRACKLE! [Lightning bolts shoot from heavy clouds as rain falls. A castle sits on the edge of a high mountain. On the trail leading up to the castle are four monsters.] |
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[The monsters are in heavy shadow, but then a bolt of lightning strikes right overhead.] Ker-Rack! [The monsters cringe from the light.] |
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[Inside the castle is a laboratory. A panel in the roof is open and lightning can be seen. A man stands over a table, on which there is a woman swathed in bandages save for her head. She is strapped down. Electrical machinery fills the lab.] Zeeeit!! Zap!! Doctor "Yes! I will make you love me, no matter how my physical appearance may repulse you!" Bride "How dare you think a mere medical degree allows you to take such liberties!" Bang! Bang! Bride "Expecting more dinner guests, Herr Doktor?" [The Gill-Man pushes against the door.] Kerack! [A remote control is lifted in front of the screen, showing that the first panels were a movie being shown on TV.] Leonardo "That reminds me-- it's time for April and the five o'clock news." Klik! |
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Leonardo "Studies show that he who controls the remote, controls the universe!" Turtle "Says who?" Turtle "Wait! It was just getting scary--!" [Leonardo changes the channel to show April onscreen reporting the news from an anchor desk.] Leonardo "We couldn't miss April's broadcast, could we?" April O'Neil "Reports of unusual electrical discharges have been reported throughout the city. It's not yet known if they have any relation to the violent thunderstorm which came through the area earlier this afternoon..." Turtle "Say-- can't you see her with that monster's funky hairdo?" The Night of Monsterex [The turtles and Splinter are in their lair.] Leonardo "No, but I can see you looking fine without any head!" Donatello "Oh, yeah? Whose idea was it to watch the movie?" Michaelangelo "I want to see what happens next!" Raphael "Wait until April is done, okay?" |
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Splinter "Silence, my sons! At this rate, we will gain neither knowledge nor pleasure. First we will hear what Miss O'Neil has to say. I assure you the monsters will still be there, whether we watch the news-- or the fantasy film." April "...It's still impossible to predict the full fury of a sudden storm. Many of the greatest disasters in history have been due to the unpredictable whims of nature..." [The other three turtles all reach for the remote that Leonardo is holding.] Raphael "Talk about whims of nature..!" Donatello "Yeah, like totally unpredictable!" Leonardo "Can I change it back, Master Splinter?" Splinter "Leonardo, did you not already state that in your own hands is the key to your destiny? Enjoy the darkness, if that is your wish." |
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[The channels are changed back to the movie. Four monsters, Gill-Man, Frankenstein's Monster, Count Dracula, and the Werewolf burst through the door into the doctor's lab.] Gill-Man "Hsssst!" Werewolf "Grrrr!" Frankenstein's Monster "Let...Her...Go..." Dracula "Let her go! She belongs with us-- not you!" Doctor "Never! I made her-- so she's mine forever!" Raphael "Man, talk about freaky dudes!" Splinter "I would have thought by now you would not be so quick to judge another being by its outer shell, Raphael. Have you so quickly forgotten what most of the outer world considers us, my son?" [Suddenly one of the strange electrical discharges shoots into the lair. The turtles and Splinter duck and leap aside. Leonardo clicks the remote just as it happens.] Zaappa! Zaappa-Chi! |
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[The electrical discharge hits the television set.] Zaappa-Chi! [The television explodes and strange figures shoot out of the destroyed components.] Ker-Blam! Ssppt! [The turtles stand ready with their weapons and whisper to each other.] Raphael "Are you dudes ready?" Leonardo "Sure are... But what are we ready for?" |
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Splinter "A ninja does not worry about what he must fight-- only that he knows when it is time to fight." [A spherical object floats into the lair. Inside is Krang, seated at the controls of a monitoring probe.] Krang "So! My new mutating ray has found its way to you! When the smoke clears, I trust I will see only four little turtles lost and helpless!" Donatello "Wrong again, brain-face!" Michaelangelo "How about replacing our TV first?!" Leonardo "Now we'll never know what happened... Hey..." Glurrp! |
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[The group turns. Before them stands a fusion of the monsters that were in the movie. It has two heads, one is part Werewolf and Gill-Man, the other part Frankenstein's Monster and Dracula.] Were-Gill "Good evening... I am..." Frankula "Monsterex." |
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Raphael "And my name is Raphael!" Michaelangelo "Mine is Michaelangelo!" Leonardo "Get ready for Leonardo, fur breath!" Donatello "Donatello's the name-- Monster crunching's my game!" Frankula "Brave words for creatures which have only one quarter of the total power I possess. You dare not even ask if my supernatural powers have quadrupled as of yet, do you?" |
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[The turtles attack. Monsterex bats Donatello aside.] Whack! [While the turtles tackle Monsterex, Splinter confronts Krang.] Splinter "So, Krang-- advancing your mad schemes to now bringing fictional creatures to life to harass us?" Krang "When you are a warlord, there are no rules except those which increase your chances of ultimate victory. You should be the last to judge what is fiction and what is real in this insane universe we both inhabit!" |
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[The turtles chase Monsterex out of the lair. When Raphael draws close, Monsterex kicks him in the stomach.] Fwoomp! Splinter "Science without humanity is destined to fail!" [Krang zooms over his head and Splinter ducks.] Zwoosh! Krang "Bah! What would a rat know of humanity?" Monsterex "You're beginning to bore me!" [Monsterex dives into water.] Splash! Raphael "Master Splinter, what has happened?" Michaelangelo "C'mon! That Monsterex was just goofing with us!" |
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Splinter "I am not quite sure what we are to do next, my sons. This "Monsterex" is certainly that-- if we realize "X" always stands for the unknown. I must ask the aid of-- the Bookwurm!" Donatello "The Bookwurm-- who in the sewers is that?" Leonardo "Yeah, Master Splinter-- two mysteries in one day? Isn't that kind of pushing things?" Splinter "We have no time to waste. A creature of darkness can only become stronger as the night above approaches." [The turtles follow Splinter through the sewers. They arrive at double wooden doors above which is the sign "Library". Raphael strains to open the heavy door and Splinter speaks in a low voice.] Splinter "We are here. And in record time, my sons." |
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[The group descends several sets of stairs.] Leonardo "But where are we going, Master Splinter?" Splinter "To a place where the questions I cannot answer may be answered for us." [Donatello clings to his bō and appears frightened.] |
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[The group finally reaches the bottom of the stairs and enter a chamber filled with books, stacked high all over the space.] Raphael "Books! Millions of 'em!" Donatello "I wonder where they keep the comic books?" Michaelangelo "Yeah, a day without a comic is like a day... without pizza!" [Seated in a chair is the Bookwurm.] Bookwurm "How true. As Splinter would be the first to remind you, any and all knowledge is power!" |
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Splinter "This is the one I can turn to when even I, in all my humble learnings, still remain without wisdom. So aptly, he calls himself the Bookwurm." Bookwurm "There is no time for lengthy introductions or explanations. What matters is I know of you. And Splinter would not have brought you unless the problem was so arcane as to be beyond even his considerable grasp." Donatello "Earlier we fought-- or tried to fight-- a very strange monster." Raphael "Only it was composed of other monsters. Things literally right out of an old fright flick!" Splinter "Yes and--no. They were the monsters of legend and folklore. A werewolf, a vampire, a creature, and even, Dr. Frankenstein's fabled creation." Michaelangelo "But that's not the half of it-- a new ray sent by Krang mutated these four creepies into one!" Leonardo "We don't know how to deal with them singly, never mind all rolled into one deluxe model!" |
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[Bookwurm lifts a hand and four books float up and open to pages showing the four monsters that created Monsterex.] Bookwurm "Listen and observe, and I will tell you everything about their frightening powers. Many, many years ago, in more superstitious times..." Donatello "It's like a living nightmare." Michaelangelo "Yeah, like 'za without extra cheese." Bookwurm "...These misbegotten creatures still need a home to hide out from the rest of the world. In medieval times-- where most of these beings originated-- a deserted castle was most often where they felt they belonged. Never forget that, whatever their shape or form, these creatures --like yourselves-- were partially human." |
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Raphael "Hey, isn't there a castle just over the river?" Donatello "Isn't it in New Jersey?" Michaelangelo "Yeah! They advertise in the back of comic books!" Leonardo "So what are we waiting for?" Bookwurm "Be forewarned! And remember: The night brings the greatest power to Monsterex! It's only natural enemy is the purity of the sunlight." [Splinter and the turtles depart. Leonardo waves goodbye to Bookwurm.] Raphael "Master Splinter, who in the heck is this Bookwurm? Why have you never spoken of him before?" Splinter "Even an eagle cannot circle the globe in one flight, my son. For now, heed the teachings, rather than question the teacher." Donatello "We'll need some special transport to travel so far, Master Splinter." [He holds up a remote control.] Splinter "Have it waiting for us by the nearest surface exit. We'll go this way instead." |
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[The Turtle Blimp zooms across the sky.] Vooosh Turtle "Full speed ahead to the castle!" Turtle "Sounds like a plan!" [Meanwhile, somewhere in a parking lot, Monsterex has lifted a car and smashed it down on top of another one. Citizens runs screaming.] Gunch! Man 1 "Help!" Man 2 "Watch out!" [Krang watches on his monitors.] Krang "Yes! It knows how to destroy... My secret concern is, does it know how to obey?" |
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[The Turtle Blimp dives towards an amusement park. On the property is a castle.] Fwoosh! [Two park visitors walks towards the parking lot, pushing a stroller holding their child.] Male visitor "Honey, I'd say Tanya has had enough for one day." Female visitor "It'll be dark out soon. Let's go home." Tanya "Brap!" [Monsterex rips a tree in half.] Rppp Monsterex "Don't leave now-- The fun's just beginning!"
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[The turtles and Splinter arrive at the amusement park after dark. April is there doing a live report, standing in front of the news van with spotlights shining on her.] April "This is April O'Neil reporting live from the Magic Castle Amusement Park, where reports of a horrible monster coming to life may or may not be just exaggerated..." [Monsterex picks up the news van.] Fwoom! April "Rumors?" |
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[Monsterex has overturned the news van and approaches April.] Monsterex "--You have a very big mouth. For a creature with only one head--" Leonardo "Get away from April-- or else!" Splinter "Wait, my sons-- Do not let your earnestness replace your ninja sense of wariness. This adversary is unlike any we have ever encountered!" April "Master Splinter! I might have know-- If there was trouble, you guys would soon be here to fix it!" [Monsterex sends Leonardo flying and kicks Raphael.] Boff! Michaelangelo "How can you sneak up behind something with two sets of eyes? With night-vision yet!" Donatello "Tell me about it!" |
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[Leonardo slams into Splinter.] Splinter "April, it might be best to save your applause until we have successfully completed our mission!" Leonardo "It's not exactly begging for mercy yet." [Monsterex has hold of both Donatello and Raphael and is spinning them around.] Monsterex "Ha! One small admission pays for all your rides." [He tosses both turtles.] Whoosh! Donatello "We should have watched a Woody Allen flick!" |
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[The turtles regroup near Splinter and April.] Raphael "I can't believe our ninja skills don't affect it." Michaelangelo "Like, are we having fun yet?" Splinter "Sometimes even ninja skills are simply not enough, remember the first lesson of the Bookwurm: Knowledge is power." Leonardo "Okay, then. We wait." Raphael "Wait? But for how long?" Donatello "Until we learn what our limitations are." Michaelangelo "I...I... never knew we had any." [The sun starts to rise.] Monsterex "Raarrgh? No! The sun!" [Monsterex dives into the moat surrounding the castle.] Spa-Lash! Turtle "Look out-- it's getting away!" |
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Krang "What good is so much destructive force if it has a mind of its own? In this case, two minds? I'll invent a way of controlling it yet!" Donatello "We failed to defeat Monsterex, Master Splinter. We have shamed you." Raphael "Yeah-- We had to let nature take its course. It wasn't anything we did." Splinter "You have done more than you realized! By keeping Monsterex away from the rest of the park, you saved many lives and prevented even more damage. It took wisdom, not just physical abilities, to comprehend there are forces in nature more powerful than us all." April "You guys are still the winners-- It was that thing which ultimately had to turn and flee." Raphael "Yeah, dudes. It can be a lot tougher to quit a fight than it is to let it continue." Michaelangelo "Besides someday thanking that Bookwurm, there's something else we shouldn't overlook..." |
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[The turtles push the news van back onto four wheels.] Whump! Splinter "...How a reward unexpectedly follows a deed done well-- and selflessly?" April "Who knows but us that it's how safe to go inside and play?" [Grinning happily, the turtles enter the amusement park.] Michaelangelo "Pizza-- on the house!" Leonardo "Free games!" Donatello "Roller coaster, here I come!" Raphael "Sounds like a definite plan, dudes!" End |