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This is a transcript for The Monster Hunter, the twentieth episode of season 1 of TMNT (2003 series).

VOICE-OVER INTRO
Michelangelo [Opens at night, in a wooded area covered in snow.  There is a full moon.  A wolf howls in the distance.]

It is said that a terrible monster roams these woods. A creature from a forgotten age that brings terror and fear in the dark of night. [A hunter appears, carrying a gun, a searches the woods. Bushes suddenly rustle and a misshapen figure leaps out while roaring. It picks up a log and throws it at the hunter, who dives aside.]

Yes, there’s a terrible monster roaming these woods. . . and it’s me, booga booga!

{Opening sequence; title song}

Pans across a snow-covered landscape to Casey’s Grandmother’s farmhouse. Zooms in on a wooden floor and a door creaking open. Casey walks in, his shoes covered in muck, and leaves tracks across the clean floor.
April O'Neil No! No! Aah! No! Casey’s Jones, I just mopped the floor! Ah! Out! Out, you big, careless jerk! [She keeps swinging the mop at him, until he catches hold of it.]
Casey Jones Hey! You can’t kick me out of here, girl-zilla!  This is my grandma’s house. Ipso functo, it’s my house. [April growls at him and he backs up.] Uh, uh, guys. I’ll be outside if anyone needs me.
Casey makes a quick exit. Pan across to Splinter, who is kneeling on the floor in meditation.  He laughs.
April Yeah, right, if I need a Neanderthal, I’ll give a yell.
Raphael Hey, where is everybody?
Donatello Casey’s been ejected from the ball park and April’s in the kitchen. I think Mikey’s out exploring the woods.
Splinter Despite the explicit instructions to stay near the house.
Raphael And Leo?
Donatello He’s – he’s kind of been moping around out in the barn all morning.
Raphael Again?
Splinter Your brother has suffered injuries, both physical and spiritual, Raphael. And he will need the support of all of us, if his wounds are to fully heal.
As Splinter speaks, the scene slowly shifts to the barn. Inside we see Leonardo, standing in front of a furnace in which a fire burns. A close-up of Leo shows that he wears bandaging around his plastron and carapace, and one arm is in a sling. He swings a stick a couple of times, and then drops it, slumping over in a depressed manner. Back in the farmhouse, April sits on the couch near Splinter.
April Oh! What is it about Casey that gets under my skin? He’s so – so . . . oh! Master Splinter, maybe you could teach me to meditate, so I wouldn’t get so angry at him.
Splinter Even meditation has its limits.
Outside, Casey is using the water hose to wash off his shoes.
Casey Uh, women! Who needs ‘em? [Hears a crunching sound and goes around to the side of the house.]
Michelangelo Nut?
Casey You’re the nut. Hey, where you been all morning?
Michelangelo Just wandering the woods.
Casey Yeah, well, I got news for you nature boy. Crazy man Hatchet next door, he likes wandering those woods too.
Michelangelo Tell me about it. He sicced his pit-bull on me this morning
Casey He saw you? For crying out loud, Mikey, even I know we’re supposed to be keeping a low profile up here.
Michelangelo Relax Case-man, no one saw me. I’m a ninja, remember? Low profile is my middle name
The sound of an automobile engine drawing closer gets their attention.  A truck is seen approaching the farmhouse. It drives directly up to the front door and then stops. A large, muscular woman steps out. She’s is carrying a rifle-like weapon.
Dr. Abigail Finn Let’s do this Parker!
Parker Affirmative doc, activating SORTIE cam -- now.
Small round object with rotors that enable it to fly is launched from the vehicle.  The SORTIE cam contains a camera.
Parker We’re rolling in three, two, one.
Finn Welcome adventure seekers to another action packed episode of “The Monster Hunter.”
Michelangelo “Monster Hunter?”
Finn Once again, I, Dr. Abigail Finn, am close to bagging a mysterious creature, the ohonto worgra, or legendary green man of the woods.
Casey Green man? Oh no.
Finn Like the yeti, sasquatch and bigfoot --
Casey Whoa! Whoa! Hold it, hold up, cut. Stop the cameras, lady. This is private property.
Finn grabs his arm and twists it behind his back.
Casey Ow, oww.
Finn Sir, what can you tell our viewers about the recent sightings of the green man in these woods, beyond your home
Casey Look, lady, you got to go. [Pulls free.] There’s nothing out in those woods except, uh, woods. Now come on.
Finn There’s a monster out there and I’ve got proof! Parker! Let’s go to the video tape.
Parker Coming right up, doc.
Finn This footage was taken in the forest behind your house, by one of your neighbors just this morning.
Video shows a silhouetted Michelangelo running through the forest. He leaps into the trees as a barking dog appears.
Finn What do you have to say now, bub?
Casey Uh --
Michelangelo Eep!
Casey Oh, boy.
Finn Are you sure you don’t want to change your statement? Exactly what is it you’re trying to hide?
Casey Mikey, uh, that is, uh --  [April clears her throat and gets their attention.]
April Hi there, don’t mind him, he’s kind of the village idiot.
Casey Hey, wait --
April My name’s April and you are?
Finn I am Dr. Abigail Finn, monster hunter. Perhaps you are familiar with my --
Mikey has been watching from the corner of the house, he starts to move away when Don taps him on the head, startling him.
Michelangelo Aah! Donatello, give me a heart attack, why don’t you.
Donatello Don’t tempt me lame brain. Do you have any idea who that is out there? That’s Dr. Abigail Finn, brilliant technologist, gifted biologist.
Michelangelo Sounds like your type, brainiac.
Donatello She’s also a certifiable lunatic. Goes around hunting monsters.
Michelangelo She ever find any?
Donatello Not yet, but the way she’s drooling over that video of you, you might get to be her first.
April Honestly, we’ve lived up here forever and the strangest thing we’ve ever seen is the occasional moose. Isn’t that right dear?
Casey Yeah, yeah.
Finn The video tape doesn’t lie. There’s a monster back there and I’m going to hunt it. Parker, punch it!
Back inside the house, Splinter, April, Casey, Don, and Mikey discuss the situation.
Michelangelo I say we go after that video tape.
April Maybe this crazy doctor monster person will just give up and go away?
Donatello Dr. Abigail Finn doesn’t give up. If she can’t find what she’s looking for out there, she’ll come looking in here. She’s obsessed with monster hunting.
Splinter Hmm. Those who become obsessed are often their own worst enemy.
Scene shifts to the interior of the barn.  Leo is attempting to pull a length of scrap steal from a heap of other scrap metal. He manages to get it loose, but the effort leaves him panting.
Raphael Looking good, Leo.
Leonardo Huh? Raph, I’m not in the mood.
Raphael For what?
Leonardo I don’t need to hear how I messed up in New York, okay? I got my shell kicked. I let everyone down. I lost my swords! I, unh --
Raphael Hang on, Leo. I wasn’t going to say anything like that. I was gonna ask you what you’re doing out here.
Leonardo Nothing.
Raphael Well, that’s too bad because I know exactly what you should be doing and I think you do too.
Raph tosses a section of metal pipe to Leo, who catches and looks at it. Cut to Finn and Parker, at a makeshift base camp in the forest.
Finn The green man is close, Parker, I can sense it. My ticket to the big time! The scientific community will no longer be able to laugh behind my back. And our little cable access show will finally get a network deal! Uh, right.  Parker! How does the cryo-containment chamber check out?
Parker Aces, doc.
He activates a remote, and a ramp lowers on the back of the truck. The two doors swing outward, releasing a cloud of smoke.
Finn Excellent, then I’ll deploy the sonic oscillator retrieval and taser incapacitation unit. Go, my little SORTIES. Parker! Man the console!
Parker Right, doc.
Finn Let the hunt begin.
As Finn runs into the forest, the scene shifts up to the trees above her truck.  Don and Mikey on perched on a branch eavesdropping.
Michelangelo What’d she say?
Donatello I couldn’t hear her because somebody was crunching pistachio nuts in my ear.
Michelangelo What?
The leap to the ground. Don finds a stick and shoves it into the handle on the side door to the truck. Mikey enters the back of the truck, which is empty other than canisters on the wall.
Michelangelo Now, if I were a video tape, where would I hide?
Donatello Mikey, get out of there. [He jumps inside.] For all we know, this thing could be a --
An alarm starts blaring and the door slam shut.
Donatello A trap.
Cold air begins flowing through the vents.
Michelangelo Um, oops. Uhh, uhh.  [Both brothers are shivering from the cold.] Is it getting really cold in here or is it just me?
Donatello It’s liquid nitrogen, instant deep freeze.
Michelangelo Hey, I’m a turtle, I’m already cold blooded.
Donatello You’ll be ice blooded if we don’t get out of here.
Parker Red alert, it’s the cryo-containment chamber, doc.
Finn I’m heading back to base camp, Parker. Secure that chamber!
Parker Copy that doc.
He tries the door, but because of the stick, the handle won’t turn. Don and Mikey are struggling with the door.  Mikey kicks it and falls down.
Michelangelo Yah!
Donatello We’ve got fifteen seconds before we become t—t—turtle-sicles.
Michelangelo It won’t budge and I think my butt’s getting freezer burn.  Ooh, you’re the brains of this operation, Donny, come up with something!
Don examines the canisters and uses his bo staff to pry one loose. The liquid nitrogen begins freezing the doors.
Donatello Mikey! Now, the d—d—door! Hyah!
They leap at the door together, kicking and shattering it. They are free.
Michelangelo B—b—brain freeze.
Donatello C--come on, we have to go.
They run away, disappearing just as Finn runs out of the forest. She sees that the truck is empty and growls in frustration.  Back at the farmhouse, Mikey and Don are seated in chairs, blankets around their shoulders and their feet in a tub of water. April adds hot water to the tub.
Michelangelo Ahh!
Donatello Ahh!
Casey I can’t believe you bozo’s walked right into a trap.
Splinter I believe it.
Donatello All I know is, it’s a good thing the green man’s not real. If that Dr. Finn ever got her hands on him, sheesh.
Michelangelo Hey, that’s it! Little Miss Monster Hunter’s still out there hunting the green man, right? She wants green men, we’ll give her some. Serious butt kicking, ninja green men! I have a plan
Back in the barn, Raph is throwing coal into the furnace to build up the heat.  He pumps air into it, bringing the flames up high.  Leo places a piece of metal on an anvil and begins hammering it. After a moment, pain hits him and he drops the hammer. Raph picks it up and returns it to him. Raph smiles at him encouragingly and Leo returns to work. The sling slips off his shoulder and he tests his arm, finding that it is strong again, so he removes the rest of the bandages. They both continue working. Cut to the forest. It is nighttime.
Donatello Mikey, this is your plan?
Casey Yeah, this is crazy. And these leaves are itching me all over.
Michelangelo Come on, we look great. Just follow my lead.
Donatello Why do I get the feeling this is just gonna make everything worse?
Scene shifts to Finn, who with has returned to her hunt.
Finn Parker! The SORTIES have a signal. No, two, three signals. Is the cryo-containment chamber repaired?
Parker Quick freeze is down, doc. But containment is good to go.
Finn We’ll herd them to you. And, Parker, no mistakes this time!
Parker Pain in the butt.
Finn Hmm. [Sees tracks and starts to follow.]
The turtles make noises, and then jump out in front of Finn. Casey then leaps out behind her. All three are wearing patched together costumes of leaves and bushy looking garments.
Casey Goongala! Goongala!  Oof.
Finn fires a net at him and he gets caught in it.
Finn I’ve got one! Parker, alert the media, I want a press conference at dawn. By then I’ll have the other two.
Parker Copy that, doc.
Mikey throws a log, destroying one of the SORTIES.
Parker Crikey!
Finn presses a button and sends two SORTIES after Don.
Donatello I knew this was a bad idea.
He runs and they give chase.  Casey is still struggling in the net and Mikey goes to him.
Michelangelo Goongala?
Casey Just get me out of here.
Donatello Hyah!
He dodges the SORTIES and then tosses two shuriken at them, smashing them to pieces.  The explosions flash on Parker’s screens.
Parker Whoa!
Finn Parker, send more SORTIES.
Parker On the way, doc.
Michelangelo The look on your face when she netted you, priceless.
Casey Ha, ha, at least we taught that loony doctor not to mess with the green man.
Michelangelo You can quit the howling, Donny.  Dr. Freakinstein went off in the other direction.
Donatello That wasn't me.
Michelangelo Huh?
Growling sounds are coming from behind Don. Mikey sees a real green man.
Michelangelo Psst, Donny, right behind you.
Donatello Huh?  Aah! The green man, he’s – he’s real.
Don backs away.  The green man lifts its nose and sniffs the air. It then walks directly up to Mikey and smells his belt.
Michelangelo Hey there, you smell these? You want some pistachios? What a smart thing you are.  What a smart green man monster. Yeah.  Can we keep him?
The green man suddenly snarls and howls.
Michelangelo Whoa! Easy big fella.
Donatello It’s those orbs. They’re upsetting him.
The SORTIES begin zapping the green man. He bats at them an accidently clobbers Mikey, who smashes into a tree. The green man starts running through the forest with the orbs chasing and zapping him.
Donatello That things packs a wallop!
Michelangelo Come on. We gotta save the big green dude.
Casey Hey, wait up!
Finn The SORTIES have one, Parker, a big one.
Parker Amazing.
The green man is chased into the containment chamber and trapped.
Michelangelo No!
Donatello Casey and I will get that poor creature out of there and grab the video tape of Mikey, strolling through the woods. Mikey, you have the pleasure of keeping Dr. Finn busy.
Finn Parker! Confirm capture!
Parker Bagged and tagged, doc. And the press are on their way.
She is laughing as she runs. Mikey rolls across the path and stops to stick his foot out, tripping her.
Finn What? Oh!
She groans as she stands up and turns on her flashlight. Mikey runs behind her, too fast for her to see. He perches on a tree limb above her. He swoops down and grabs her rifle before disappearing.
Finn No! Parker? Parker? There’s another one out here with me. Hunting me! Do you copy?
All of the monitors go out in the truck.
Parker Say again, doc.
Parker jumps out of the truck and goes around to check the back. Meanwhile, Don reaches into the truck and retrieves the video tape. Parker pounds on the back of the truck and the green man pounds back, growling. Finn is startled when her rifle, now crushed, is dropped in front of her.
Finn What—Ah! No! This can’t be happening.
Michelangelo Boo!
Finn Aah!
Michelangelo Ha, ha, ha! A ninja a day keeps the doctor away. Aah! Donny, where’s the big green dude?
Donatello Relax, Mikey, it’s all taken care of.
The next morning, a group of reports wait for Finn near her truck.
Parker Uh, doc?
Finn Last night was horrible, Parker, horrible. But we did it, we got one.
Parker Doc, doc, I can’t find it. The video tape, it’s gone.
Finn What? How? I no longer need the tape, Parker. I’ve got a live specimen right here. [Stands at podium.]  Today, I, Dr. Abigail Finn, have captured a creature so rare, it was believed to be only a myth. Behold the greatest scientific discovery of all time. I give you the legendary green man!
Casey, still in costume, walks up to the door.
Casey Yo! Help! Save me from this crazy lady! [The reporters all laugh.]
Finn No! No! How can this be? My monster. My – my reputation. My network television deal.
Casey You’re the monster, lady. She chased me through the woods all night long. She’s loony, I tell you. She’s the one that should be locked up.
Reporters Dr. Finn! Dr. Finn!
Michelangelo Donatello, you sly turtle. What about the big green dude?
Donatello Safe and sound. And just for the record, the green man’s a she, a mother.
Back at the farmhouse, Mikey stands in the yard, pulling the tape out of the cassette.  Casey walks up.
Michelangelo See, Sensei, I told you the green man is real.
Donatello Hey, Casey, what kept you?
Casey Those reporters were even more vicious than that crazy doctor. They’ll be making fun of Dr. Finn for months.
Raphael Guys, hey guys, come around back. There’s someone I want you to meet.
Out back, Raph flings open the barn doors.
Raphael Allow me to introduce you to - - Leonardo. New and improved.
Leo walks out of the barn carrying two new swords.
Leonardo Uh, hey everyone.
Michelangelo Welcome back, bro!
All All right! Yeah! Welcome back!
Leonardo Guys, I think it’s time we returned to New York and finish our business with the Shredder, once and for all.
All Yeah!

{Roll end credits}

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