[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Episode opens with an exterior view of the entry to the turtles’ lair. Inside, the turtles are lying around and groaning, coughing, and sneezing.]
April O'Neil "You're sure this turtlepox the boys have isn't catching, Splinter?"
Splinter "Quite sure, April. It is a very rare disease that affects only mutant turtles."
Raphael "Oh, I feel like the Technodrome just rolled over me."
[Groans.]
April "Here, have some chicken soup. It'll make you feel better."
Donatello "Ah-choo!"
[He sneezes into the bowl and splatters the soup.]
April "Oh, at least it would have."
[The thermometer in Michelangelo’s mouth expands and bursts.]
April "Here, Michelangelo. Try this."
Michelangelo "Oh, April, what I really wanted was a tea and toast pizza."
Leonardo "It's so nice of you to look after us while we're sick, April. By the way, this soup is cold. Could you warm it up again?"
Raphael "April, can I have a glass of water?"
Donatello "Could you get me another blanket?"
Michelangelo "Tell me a story."
April "Ahh, for a bunch of heroes on the half shell, they can be real babies!"
[Cut to the Technodrome, far underground. Krang and Shredder stand next to a robotic creation.]
Krang "There it is, Shredder. The invention that'll put an end to those accursed turtles at last. Metalhead!"
Shredder "What is it?"
Krang "It's a robot, which I intend to program with the turtles' own ninja fighting skills. That, combined with its built-in weaponry, will make it unstoppable. Watch."
[He presses a button and a laser slides from Metalhead’s chest. It fires and blows a hole in the wall.]
Krang "In order to program the robot, I will need complete brain wave scans of all the turtles. You must go to the surface with this portable brainalyzer, and get them for me."
[A transport module drills up to the surface carrying Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady.]
Shredder "Just once I'd like you to surface where you're supposed to."
Rocksteady "You--you said you wanted a soft landing."
Shredder "Soft. Not overripe. Now pay attention. I need you cretins to lure the turtles out of hiding so I can use this brainalyzer on them."
Bebop "Uh, maybe we oughta test it out first, boss."
Rocksteady "Yeah. If we only had a brain."
Shredder "I've been saying that about you two for years."
[Shift to a sidewalk across the street from Megatech. Shredder and his mutants hide behind a tree.]
Bebop "Uh, I don't get it, boss. Why are we breaking into this joint?"
Shredder "The turtles will think you're stealing equipment for the Technodrome, and show up to stop you. And when they do, I'll be ready for them. Now get in there and do your worst."
Rocksteady "Ooh, the worst is what we do best."
[Bebop tears down part of the fencing that surrounds the property.]
Security Guard "You, there. Stop!"
Bebop "Hit the road, Jack. Before the road hits you. Hyah!"
[He throws part of the sidewalk through the front door.]
Security Guard "Oh, they don't pay me enough to take this abuse."
[He removes his security belt, drops it, and runs away. Bebop and Rocksteady enter the building.]
Shredder "Everything's working perfectly, Krang. Channel 6 will provide live coverage of this break-in momentarily, and that will bring the turtles."
Krang "Excellent! For once things are going as planned."
[Back at the lair, the turtles are all sleeping and snoring loudly. April sits nearby reading a book.]
Splinter "April, how is it that you're not watching the news on television?"
April "I was afraid it might wake up the guys."
Splinter "Trust me. In their condition, nothing will awaken them."
[At Megatech, objects are being thrown from the building. Vernon and a cameraman stand next to the Channel 6 news van.]
Vernon "Why isn't April here to cover this? She's so much better in these emergency situations. Not that I'd ever tell her, of course."
Shredder "What's keeping those blasted turtles? They should have been here by now."
[A police car passes, siren wailing. Inside the building, Bebop and Rocksteady have caused extensive destruction.]
Bebop "Ha ha, is this fun or what?
Uh, what's up, boss? Are the turtles here?"
[His comlink rings.]
Uh, what's up, boss? Are the turtles here?"
Shredder "No, but the police are. You better get out of there. We'll have to find another way to lure the turtles out of hiding."
Rocksteady "Gee, maybe the turtles don't think we're important enough to beat up anymore."
Bebop "That wounds me deeply."
[In the lair, April checks the kitchen cabinets.]
April "Hmm. We're out of chicken soup. I guess I better go buy some more."
[Topside, Shredder has moved on to a bank.]
Shredder "Go rob that bank. That will grab the turtles' attention."
Rocksteady "A bank! We're moving up in the world."
Bebop "Yeah, the most we ever used to rob was minimarts."
[They run by a manhole just as April lifts the cover.]
April "Oh, great. Just when you thought it was safe to come out of the sewers."
[She descends and goes back to the lair.]
April "Wake up, guys! Rocksteady and Bebop are robbing the Metrocorp bank."
Donatello "Oh, I must be having a fever dream. It sounded like you said Bebop and Rocksteady were robbing a bank."
April "That's exactly what I did say."
Raphael "Boy, talk about lousy timing. Ah-choo."
Michelangelo "Yeah, I'm totally bummed."
Leonardo "Sick or not--
We're the only ones who can stop them."
[Coughs.]
We're the only ones who can stop them."
[People are screaming and running from the bank.]
Bebop "Hey, this is fun. Let's do some more crimes. Ooh, ooh! Better yet, let's order pizza and not pay for it. Hee hee hee!"
[They flee the bank with an armload of cash. The turtles meet them, weapons drawn.]
Raphael "You'd better hope they deliver in the slammer, hamhead."
Shredder "This is it. The perfect opportunity."
[He presses a button on the brainalyzer and the turtles are enveloped in a bluish light as he brainwave scans all four of them.]
Donatello "Oh, boy, do I have a headache all of a sudden."
Michelangelo "Yeah. Feels like a heavy metal concert going on in my head."
Leonardo "It's probably just the effects of the turtlepox."
Shredder "Rocksteady, Bebop. Get back to the transport module. I have what I came for."
Bebop "Aw, just when things was getting interesting."
Donatello "They're getting away!"
Raphael "We'd better do the same."
[Back in the sewers, the turtles discuss the situation with April.]
Leonardo "I don't get it. It's not like Rocksteady and Bebop to back away from a fight!"
Michelangelo "Well, maybe they're sick, too. Ah-choo!"
April "Oh, come on back to the hideout, guys. I'll fix some more chicken soup."
Raphael "Wait, I-if-- if I eat anymore chicken soup, I'll be the only turtle on earth with feathers."
[Cut to the Technodrome.]
Krang "It works. I programmed a robot with the turtles' ninja skills."
Shredder "I'll believe that when I see it."
Krang "Gladly. Rocksteady, Bebop. Attack the robot."
Bebop "Ready or not, here we come."
Rocksteady "We'll send that tin turtle to the scrap heap."
[They both rush at Metalhead, blasters drawn. Metalhead picks them up, spins them around and throws them.]
Both "Whoa! Ohh!"
Shredder "Hmm, I'm impressed."
Krang "It's everything I hoped it would be. Against this fighting machine, the turtles don't stand a chance. Ah ha ha ha!"
[In the lair, the turtles are all tucked in again.]
Raphael "Oh, man, I am one tuckered-out turtle. Ah-choo!"
Splinter "Be patient. The fever should subside by tomorrow."
Donatello "Uhh, I still can't figure out what Shredder and his goons were up to."
Michelangelo "Oh, hey, what's the diff? As long as we chased them back underground."
Splinter "I hope they have indeed given up as easily as you say, Michelangelo."
[In the Technodrome, Krang releases Metalhead from confinement.]
Krang "All right, robot. Time to fulfill your primary function. Seek and destroy the turtles."
Shredder "Does it know how to pilot a transport module?"
Krang "It has no need of one. It can drill its way to the surface by itself. And best of all, its remote camera will let us watch the destruction of the turtles from the comfort of the Technodrome."
Shredder "Sounds good, if it doesn't blow a fuse."
Krang "It better not, or I'll blow my fuse."
[Back at the lair, Splinter is kneeling in his room when April approaches.]
April "Oh! Well, the turtles are all tucked in again for a long nap, I hope."
Splinter "Perhaps things will be quiet for a time."
[They are startled by a loud rumbling and the ground shaking. Suddenly Metalhead drills up through the floor.]
April "You want to bet?"
Splinter "What manner of creation is this?"
April "Whatever it is, it doesn't look too friendly."
[Splinter attacks.]
Splinter "Hyah! Yahta! Uhh! Uhh! Aah! Unh!
It merely shrugged off my most powerful kick."
[He’s thrown to the ground.]
It merely shrugged off my most powerful kick."
April "What do we do now?"
Splinter "A wise man knows when he is outclassed, April. I suggest we fall back to a more strategic position."
April "In other words, we run like heck!"
Splinter "Precisely."
[A rope shoots from Metalhead’s finger and wraps around the pair, stopping them.]
April "I can't move!"
Splinter "That machine seems to have tied us up."
April "So much for the strategic retreat. You have any other ideas?"
Leonardo "Oh, what's all the noise?"
Michelangelo "Whoa!"
Leonardo "What is it?"
Donatello "He looks like a giant turtle."
Splinter "Be careful, my students. You are pitted against a superior fighting machine."
Raphael "That doesn't scare us."
Metalhead "I am Metalhead. I crush turtles."
Raphael "Now, that scares us."
All "Turtles fight with honor!
Ooh! Aah!"
[Metalhead shoots at them with lasers.]
Ooh! Aah!"
Michelangelo "Yeah! But this dude fights with everything!"
Leonardo "He seems to know just what we're thinking."
Raphael "And before we do."
Michelangelo "Eh! No fair, dude!"
[Metalhead wraps all four in rope and then grabs their weapons.]
All "Huh?! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!"
Donatello "Master Splinter is right. This thing is one jump ahead of us."
Krang "Ha ha! I told you my robot could defeat them."
Shredder "Good, now have it finish them off before they have a chance to escape."
Krang "Not so fast. I want them brought back to the Technodrome."
Shredder "So you can personally dispose of them?"
Krang "Exactly. First, I intend to slice and dice, then parboil and fricassee them with just a touch of cilantro."
Shredder "Oh, you paint such a pretty picture."
[Underground, Metalhead leads his captives through the sewers.]
Raphael "Oh, we coulda whipped this Metalhead if we all weren't so sick."
Donatello "He's gotta be one of Krang's inventions. He must've found a way to program him with our ninja skills."
April "That doesn't give us much of a chance, does it?"
Donatello "Well, just one. If I can match his frequency phase amplitude, I might be able to demodulate his cybernetic synapses."
Michelangelo "Most excellent, dude. I was thinking the same thing myself."
Raphael "Yeah. Wanna run that by us one more time, Donatello?"
Donatello "Well, all I said was, maybe I could use the turtlecom to short circuit his memory banks."
Michelangelo "So, like, what are you waiting for, bud?"
[The turtlecom gives off a high shrill tone.]
Donatello "These high frequency oscillations oughta do it."
April "It's working! Keep it up!"
Michelangelo "Uh-oh! He's gone wackazoid!"
[Smoke comes from Metalhead and his head starts spinning. He falls into the water face first.]
Michelangelo "That'll teach him to pick on four sick turtles. Ah-choo!"
Donatello "Come on. Let's get him back to the lair. Maybe I can reprogram him."
Raphael "Okay, just don't use the stereo for spare parts."
[A transport module drills up into the sewers, carrying Shredder and his mutants.]
Shredder "Well, Rocksteady, you actually got us here without any foul-ups."
Rocksteady "Did you hear that? The boss actually showered me with compliments."
[The overhead pipe they hit springs a leak and the water sprays Shredder.]
Bebop "Hey, you ain't the only one who's getting a shower."
[The threesome ride through the sewers on their footskis.]
Shredder "This is where Krang said the robot would meet us. Where is that wretched invention?"
Bebop "Aw, look, boss. That oil slick must be all that's left of him."
Shredder "Blast! I warned Krang something like this might happen. The good part is we can follow this trail of oil and find the turtles."
[He speeds ahead, splashing Bebop and Rocksteady in the process. In the lair, three turtles sit around the kitchen table.]
Michelangelo "Ah-choo!"
April "Here, fellas. I brought you some more chicken soup."
Michelangelo "More chicken soup? Ready, guys?"
All Three "Yecch! Eww! Ecch!"
April "Look at the bright side. At least that robot won't be bothering us anymore."
[They hear a whirring sound and Metalhead enters the kitchen. They draw their weapons.]
Michelangelo "Oh, bummer. Not again."
Donatello "Not to worry, gang. I've deprogrammed him, then reprogrammed him. Metalhead, meet the turtles."
Metalhead "
Hey, hermano, how's it going, dude?"
[Imitating Michelangelo.]
Hey, hermano, how's it going, dude?"
Michelangelo "Huh? How come this robot reptile sounds exactly like yours truly?"
Metalhead "
Nice place, guys. Who's your decorator, the phantom of the opera?"
[Imitating Raphael.]
Nice place, guys. Who's your decorator, the phantom of the opera?"
Raphael "Wrong, Michelangelo. H-he sounds exactly like me."
Metalhead "
No, I don't. I sound like him.
Except when I sound like him--
Or him-- I mean, him. No, you don't!
Who am I now?
Uh-oh! Personality overload!
Dive! Dive! A-ooga! A-ooga!"
[Imitating Leonardo.]
No, I don't. I sound like him.
[Imitating Donatello.]
Except when I sound like him--
[Imitating Leonardo.]
Or him-- I mean, him. No, you don't!
[Imitating Michelangelo.]
Who am I now?
[Imitating Raphel.]
Uh-oh! Personality overload!
[Imitating Donatello.]
Dive! Dive! A-ooga! A-ooga!"
Donatello "Heh heh. Uh, there are still a few bugs to work out. Since Metalhead was programmed with all our personalities, he gets a little confused sometimes."
April "Great. A schizophrenic robot."
Raphael "Oh, he's worse than schizophrenic. He's quadrophrenic!"
Metalhead "
Warning! Warning! Sensors indicate Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady approaching!
Hey, man. They're mondo close, too."
[Imitating Leonardo.]
Warning! Warning! Sensors indicate Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady approaching!
[Imitating Michelangelo.]
Hey, man. They're mondo close, too."
Donatello "Oh, no. Shredder's gonna find our hideout."
Raphael "There goes the neighborhood."
Shredder "My instincts tell me that we're very close to the turtles' lair."
Rocksteady "This time we're gonna make some turtle hash."
Shredder "Wait. I sense something."
[The turtles round the corner on their cheapskates, with April riding behind Raphael.]
Shredder "The turtles!"
Michelangelo "Aah! Catch us if you can, shred man."
[He knocks Shredder into the sewer water as they speed past.]
Shredder "Quickly! After them!"
Rocksteady "Right, boss."
[They race away and spray Shredder with water in the process.]
Shredder "Ecch. Idiots!"
Rocksteady "Oh, this'll be like shooting ducks in a barrel."
Bebop "Or better yet, turtles in a sewer. Ha ha ha ha ha! Uh-oh."
[Metalhead suddenly appears behind the threesome and starts blasting.]
Shredder "Krang! Come in, Krang!"
Krang "This better be important! You're interrupting my exercise program."
Shredder "Good news. We're in pursuit of the turtles with the help of your robot.
What in blazes?"
[Metalhead’s laser hits his helmet.]
What in blazes?"
Rocksteady "Hey, I thought this thing was on our side."
Shredder "Your robot is shooting at us."
Krang "Nobody's perfect."
Donatello "Gotta hand it to you, Leonardo, having Metalhead pretend to chase us was brilliant."
Leonardo "Okay, we're far enough from our lair now. Let's go topside."
[They exit the tunnels, all coughing and sneezing.]
Donatello "Uhh, this wouldn't be any fun, even if I were well."
Raphael "Uh-oh. Here come the party animals."
Rocksteady "Where are those turtles? I'll pulverize them! Yeow!"
[Rocksteady and Bebop leap out of the tunnel after Metalhead blasts at them. Metalhead jumps out next, cycling through the turtles’ voices.]
Metalhead "'Scuse me! Move it or lose it! No time to chat! Good-bye. Got to catch those turtles."
Bebop "Catch this, steel shell."
Shredder "No! Stop, you fool!"
[Bebop’s laser blast hits Metalhead.]
Metalhead "Aah!
Whoa. I feel so funky.
I got to blast those turtles.
Wait. I have to blast Shredder. Or is it the turtles? I'm so confused.
Maybe I'll just blast everybody!"
[Imitating Michelangelo.]
Whoa. I feel so funky.
[Imitating Leonardo.]
I got to blast those turtles.
[Imitating Donatello.]
Wait. I have to blast Shredder. Or is it the turtles? I'm so confused.
[Imitating Raphael.]
Maybe I'll just blast everybody!"
[Metalhead starts blasting. Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady jump behind a bunch of garbage cans.]
All Three "Aah! Whoa!"
Shredder "Bebop, you idiot! You've caused the robot to go completely haywire."
Rocksteady "Yeah. Pretty smooth, pork lips."
[The turtles and April run to an elevator attached to a building under construction and ride up. Metalhead chases them.]
Michelangelo "Hey! Bogus move! He's not supposed to be shooting at us!"
Raphael "Going up."
Leonardo "We've got to shut Metalhead down before he turns us into turtle toast!"
Michelangelo "Primo notion, fearless leader, but how are we gonna that?"
Donatello "I've got an idea. Look!"
April "The Channel 6 building?"
Donatello "I might be able to rig up some of the broadcasting equipment to deactivate Metalhead."
Leonardo "Good. Take April with you. Oops! It's getting too hot here! We'll deal with Metalhead."
Donatello "Oh, Shredder and his goons are below us. We'll take the aerial route.
Follow me."
[He jumps on a metal beam suspended in mid-air.]
Follow me."
April "Me on that thing? You must be kidding."
Donatello "April! Wait!"
Michelangelo "Going down, amigo."
Metalhead "
Aha! Trying to escape."
[Imitating Raphael.]
Aha! Trying to escape."
[Metalhead shoots the beam cable and Donatello falls.]
Donatello "Aah!"
[Before he hits the ground, Donatello uses his bō to stop his fall.]
April "Donatello! Are you all right?"
Donatello "Uhh, if I were a cat, I'd have just lost about eight lives. How'd you get down from there?"
April "I took the stairs. Come on! Now, let's take the ground route."
Donatello "Oh, right. Air travel does not agree with me."
Shredder "The turtles are up there! Go get them!"
Rocksteady "But, boss, w-what about that whacked-out robot?"
Bebop "Uh, yeah. You want him to get mad at us?"
Shredder "Believe me. Better him mad at you than me!"
Rocksteady "Since you put it that way."
[April and Donatello enter the Channel 6 building.]
April "Hurry. Maybe we can sneak you up to the transmitter before anyone sees you."
[The elevator dings as they are crossing the lobby.]
April "Uh-oh! It's Burne and Vernon. Quick! Hide behind this thing."
Burne Thompson "April. What are you doing here? I thought it was your day off."
April "You know me, chief. I can't stay away from this place."
Donatello "Ah-choo!"
Thompson "Who sneezed?"
April "Uh, oh, sorry. I-I must be catching a cold."
Vernon "Oh, I haven't seen those troublesome turtle friends of yours lately."
April "Oh, you know them. They could be anywhere in the world."
[Donatello tiptoes past and goes up the staircase. Meanwhile, the other turtles are still at the construction site, standing on girders as Metalhead, Rocksteady and Bebop climb up to get them.]
Michelangelo "Bad news, amigos. We're trapped like, like—"
Raphael "Rats?"
Michelangelo "I was gonna say turtles!"
Metalhead "
Sayonara, turtles.
Wait. I can't do this. The turtles are my friends.
Or is Shredder my friend?
Oh, bummer. Like, I'm totally confused."
[Imitating Raphael.]
Sayonara, turtles.
[Imitating Leonardo.]
Wait. I can't do this. The turtles are my friends.
[Imitating Krang.]
Or is Shredder my friend?
[Imitating Michelangelo.]
Oh, bummer. Like, I'm totally confused."
[Metalhead argues with himself on one side of the girder the turtles are on, while Rocksteady and Bebop take up positions on the other side of the turtles. They aim their blasters.]
Bebop "Oh, yeah? Well, we ain't confused."
Rocksteady "Say bye-bye, you green geeks!"
[Inside Channel 6, Donatello is completing modifications on the transmitter.]
April "Well, do you have it working?"
Donatello "We'll know in a second. Here goes."
[He pushes a lever and a beam shoots from a satellite atop the news station. The beam strikes Metalhead.]
Metalhead "
Wait. It's all so clear to me now. The turtles are my friends.
And you bozos aren't!"
[Imitating Donatello.]
Wait. It's all so clear to me now. The turtles are my friends.
[Imitating Raphael.]
And you bozos aren't!"
[He blasts Rocksteady and Bebop. They fall.]
Both "Huh? Aah!"
Shredder "Time to beat a discreet retreat."
[Bebop and Rocksteady land on Shredder. They slide into the back of a concrete truck, causing it to drop its load on top of them.]
All "Oof!"
Metalhead "
Yo, dudes. Time to get our shells in gear."
[Imitating Michelangelo.]
Yo, dudes. Time to get our shells in gear."
Leonardo "Good job, Donatello. Metalhead's working fine again."
Metalhead "
Daddy!"
[Imitating Raphael.]
Daddy!"
[Metalhead grabs Donatello and hugs him.]
Donatello "Uhh! We'd better get him back in the sewers before something else goes wrong."
[Back at the lair, the turtles are once more curled up on the couch.]
Donatello "Oh, man, am I glad that's over."
Raphael "Yeah, now we can get back into being seriously sick. Ah-choo!"
Michelangelo "Yeah, it's kind of fun with April waiting on us hand and foot."
April "Sorry, fellas. No more nursing. I've gotta get back to Channel 6."
Raphael "What? But who's going to look after us till we're better?"
April "It's already been taken care of. Oh, Nurse Metalhead!"
[Metalhead enters carrying a tray of medical supplies, a towel, and IV bag.]
Metalhead "
All right, everyone in bed. And I mean now!"
[Imitating April.]
All right, everyone in bed. And I mean now!"
{{qline|Donatello|I've created a Frankenstein.}
[Cut to the Technodrome, where Krang is pacing.]
Krang "What is taking so long?
Well, it's about time. What is that?"
[The transport module arrives.]
Well, it's about time. What is that?"
Rocksteady "Um, we had a little accident, Krang."
[Rocksteady and Bebop exit the module carrying Shredder, fully encased in concrete except for his feet.]
Bebop "Uh, yeah. You got a chisel handy?"
[End Credits]