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 YOU'RE NOT ON 
 NICKTOONS 
 ANYMORE! 

Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1


Zad "I tell ya, guys..."

Zad "...Mammals are nothin'! Why, my blind grandma could whip any ten of 'em!"

Zad "—All that soft, squishy fur or pink skin... Yecch! Why do we have ta fight such wimps!?"

Other Triceraton "Chill out, Zad—we haven't even been in combat yet!"

Zad "Yeah... But ya don't have to be a veteran to know that "Mammals eat nuts—" "

Zad " "Triceratons kick butts!" "

Other Triceraton "Ha, ha, ha!"

NNNN THOK!

Zad "Huh—?!"

Page 2

Other Triceraton "Uh-oh..."

Zad "S-Sarge! What—?!"

Zule "Sometimes... Sometimes I despair of you maggots learning anything!"

Zule " "Mammals eat nuts"... Hmph! Are you boneheads still in preschool?!!"

Zule "Listen up! Lesson number one for all grunts: The marine who underestimates his enemy—is a dead marine! ...And plenty of hot-shot Triceraton marines have bought the farm by underestimating mammals!"

THE LESSON

A TALE OF THE TRICERATON MARINES

STORY/SCRIPT/PENCILS by PETER LAIRD · INKS by RYAN BROWN · LETTERS by STEVE LAVIGNE

Zule "You've probably all been wondering... How did ol' Sergent Zule lose his left forn? And why hasn't he had the traditional routine reconstructive surgery to replace it?"

Zule "Well, plant your tails... And let me tell you a story..."

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Zule "My outfit had been dropped on a planet whose ownership was in dispute. We thought it ours... Trouble was, the Ursids thought not!"

"I was scouting for our advancing column..."

"The woods were thick..."

"...And quiet."

"Then, over a rise..."

"...I saw them—"

"—*Ursids! A whole platoon, moving in our direction!"

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"I took off like a bat out of hell..."

"...I had to get back and warn my outfit!"

"Breaking into a small clearing, I froze!"

"On the other side, an Ursid soldier stepped into the light..."

"For an endless moment, we stood there staring at each other..."

"Then he threw his gun down..."

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"...And drew his knife!"

"I knew we each had the same idea—gunfire would alert both columns..."

"...While the victor in a silent knife fight could set up a devastating ambush!"

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Page 7

SNAP!

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"...Through the haze of pain, I could see him rushing toward me... A furry juggernaut!"

"With no concious thought, I fell into the instinctive Triceraton defensive posture..."

"Moving too fast to change course, the Ursid impaled itself upon my left horn...
...And snapped it off!
"

"I don't have to tell you what kind of force it takes to do that!"

Page 9

"Seemed it took me an eternity to get up..."

"The pain in my shattered wrist and broken horn was incredible..."

"How much time had gone by? I had to find my outfit..."

"Soon, I smelled smoke... I followed the scent..."

"I found them in a small valley..."

"My outfit—and the Ursid platoon—locked in death..."

"All dead..."

Page 10

Zule "Our hand-to-hand combat took just long enough for both units to collide... They wiped each other out!"

Zule "Me... I lived... By sheer luck, I survived! That Ursid had me..."

Zule "And if my horn hadn't struck a vital organ when he ran into me..."

Zule "...Suffice it to say, you'd have a different sarge looking after your sorry butts! Any way..."

Zule "I went back and pulled my broken horn out of his body and later had it made into this knife handle. I keep it—and the stub—as a reminder of that all-important lesson:"

TOK!

"Never underestimate your enemy!"

THE END

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