[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Episode opens on the turtle van, driving along a city street during the daytime.]
Michelangelo "I am seriously starved, dudes. There's only one cure for these mondo munchies."
Donatello "No time for pizza, guys. We have to check out April's tip about Shredder being seen in the vicinity."
[Leonardo slams on the brakes.]
Leonardo "Hey, guys, look! Some goon is mugging that old lady."
[The ‘people’ they see are actually Bebop and Rocksteady wearing disguises.]
Rocksteady "Give me that handbag, uh, Lady."
Bebop "Never, you evil man."
Michelangelo "Come on, dudes. Let's bleep that creep."
Rocksteady "Ooh--I said, give me that thing."
Bebop "Never, never, never!"
Leonardo "Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to mug sweet old ladies?"
Rocksteady "Says who?"
Bebop "You big brute! You should be ashamed."
Rocksteady "I'll take care of you, lady, after I splatter these green freaks all over the wall."
[He takes a swing at Leonardo, who ducks the punch and then picks Rocksteady up in the air.]
Rocksteady "Hey, put me down!"
Leonardo "Catch, Raphael."
Rocksteady "Yii!"
Raphael "Whoa! Hot potato!
Catch, Michelangelo."
[He spins around on his shell while holding Rocksteady and then throws him.]
Catch, Michelangelo."
Michelangelo "Oh, like, take a hike, lumpy lips."
[After catching him on his shell, Michelangelo bucks him off. Rocksteady hits the sidewalk hard.]
Rocksteady "Oof! Ooh, I'm gettin' out of here."
Michelangelo "Whoa, what a wimp! That was a piece of cake."
Leonardo "He won't bother you again, ma'am."
Bebop "Well, uh, thank you so much."
Michelangelo "Oh, no thanks needed, elderly dudette."
Bebop "Let me give you a little reward-- fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. Mmm!"
Leonardo "Why, thank you, ma'am."
Bebop "I gotta hobble along now. Bye!"
Leonardo "That's a sweet little old lady."
Donatello "Hmm. I wonder."
Michelangelo "Well, they're not pizza, but at least they're round."
Leonardo "Wait, Michelangelo! We can't eat cookies if we want to stay in fighting trim."
Donatello "Besides, I'd like to run some tests on these cookies. There was something funny about that old lady."
[Bebop dashes around a corner. Shredder and Rocksteady are waiting for him.]
Bebop "They bought it, boss."
Shredder "Amazing! You oafs actually managed to pull it off. Those cookies will spell the end of the teenage mutant ninja turtles."
[In the turtles’ lair, Donatello examines the cookies while Michelangelo looks on.]
Michelangelo "This is totally lameola, dude-- wasting perfectly good chocolate chip cookies."
Donatello "Okay, guys. Let's see what happens when I drop this cookie in this beaker. Ha! Just as I suspected. They weren't made with baking soda. They're made with some kind of anti-mutagen."
Leonardo "This must be Shredder's work."
Donatello "One bite of these, and we might have all degenerated into lower forms of life."
Leonardo "You mean like slugs?"
Michelangelo "Or worms?"
Raphael "Or amoebas?"
Donatello "Worse. Human beings."
Michelangelo "Human beings? Well, that could be totally tubular. Surfing, going to parties, meeting chicks."
Leonardo "I always wondered what it would be like to ride in a Western rodeo."
Michelangelo "So, what are we waiting for, dudes? Let's chow down."
Donatello "No, no! You mustn't!"
Splinter "Donatello is right, my students. As humans, you would lose your ninja skills and powers. The city would be at the mercy of Shredder and Krang."
Donatello "That's why I'm tossing these cookies in the garbage."
Michelangelo "Oh, well, it was a sweet dream while it lasted."
[Meanwhile, Shredder and his mutants have returned to the Technodrome.]
Shredder "As soon as the turtles become weak humans, we will crush them like bugs."
Rocksteady "Ha, ha. Oh, boy! I love to crush bugs."
Bebop "Uh, what makes you think the turtles will eat those cookies, boss?"
Shredder "What teenager can resist chocolate chip cookies?"
Krang "Why, Shredder! I didn't know baking was one of your things."
Shredder "A ninja warrior is trained in many skills, Krang. Ha ha ha! I know a splendid recipe for boiled brain."
Krang "Oh, a comedian. Spare me! It's time to execute phase two of our plan.
This ship has a cargo of electronic parts we need to repair the Technodrome, and you two are going to steal it."
[Pulls up an image of a ship on the big screen.]
This ship has a cargo of electronic parts we need to repair the Technodrome, and you two are going to steal it."
Bebop "All by ourselves?"
Shredder "No. We need people who look like waterfront types, not rhinos and warthogs."
Krang "Find that gang you once belonged to, and use them for the job."
Rocksteady "Gee, our old gang. I wonder if they'll recognize us?"
Krang "Move it. Now."
[Shift to the Channel 6 news station.]
Burne Thompson "If we don't stop this ratings slide soon, we'll be in the cellar. And I don't have to tell you people what that means."
Vernon "I've got a really hot idea, boss. How about a show on matchbook collecting? As a matter of fact, I have—"
[A buzzer sounds.]
Thompson "Next."
April O'Neil "What about an expose on big city gangs?"
Thompson "Hmm. Maybe you've got something. Violence, crime, brutality-- all the elements of great family viewing. Get on it, April."
April "Right away, chief."
[Later, April examines herself in a mirror. She has disguised herself.]
April "Hmm, not bad. I think I can pass myself off as a gang member. Mean streets, here I come."
[Michelangelo enters Donatello’s lab. He is carrying his skateboard and wearing a disguise.]
Michelangelo "I'll just leave a note, so the guys won't worry. It’s gonna be mondo tubuloso to be human.
Donatello did say it could be a major bummer. I'll never know if I don't try."
[He digs the cookies out of the garbage.]
Donatello did say it could be a major bummer. I'll never know if I don't try."
[He eats a cookie and then watches the clock.]
Michelangelo "Nothing's happening. That whole story must be bogus. Besides, these cookies don't even taste good."
[He drops the cookies back into the garbage. He starts to leave and then the change occurs.]
Michelangelo "My hands! My face! My feet! I'm changing, but into what?"
[He falls to the ground. After a moment, he groggily rises to his feet.]
Michelangelo "Aah! Uh, whoa, what happened? Human hands? Bodacious! Where's a mirror? I’ve gotta check this out. I'm human. A human teenager. A hunky one, at that. What am I waiting for? Bright lights, big city, here comes Michael J. Angelo."
[Michelangelo rides his skateboard to a skateboard park, where he encounters two other teenagers.]
First Teenager "Radical wheels, dude. Think you can shred the course?"
Michelangelo "Are you kidding, dude? You are talking to a ninja tur-- uh, skateboard wizard."
First Teenager "Okay, wiz. Let's see some of those ninja moves."
[He gives Michelangelo a push onto the ramp.]
Michelangelo "Whoa! Hey! I wasn't ready! Aah! Aah! Whoa!"
[He knocks over the plastic cones set up as obstacles.]
First Teenager "Ha ha--some wizard. My grandmother has better moves than that."
Michelangelo "Whoa! Unh!"
[He flies off the course, hits a tree limb, and ends up on the ground.]
First teenager "Way to go, clumsy. What a dweeb!"
Michelangelo "Man. Being human isn't all that excellent. Maybe I should have listened to Master Splinter.
That does it! I've had it! I'm going back to the lair."
[A car passes and splashes him with mud.]
That does it! I've had it! I'm going back to the lair."
[April runs past him.]
April "Help! Help!"
Michelangelo "Uh-oh, looks like that dudette's in serious trouble."
High Five "Out of the way, twerp."
[The gang chasing April pushes him down in a mud puddle.]
Michelangelo "That tears it. Now I'm truly steamed."
[April runs under a bridge in the park. As she comes out on the other side, Lugnut jumps down and cuts her off.]
April "Aah!"
Lugnut "Okay, babe, suppose you tell us why you were snoopin' around our turf."
April "Uh, well, you see... that is--"
Michelangelo "That girl's voice. It sounds so familiar."
High Five "Uh, let me at her, Lugnut. I'll teach her to spy on us."
Michelangelo "It's April."
April "Uh, wait a sec, guys. You got it all wrong. I wasn't spying, I was, uh, uh-- checking you out."
Lugnut "Heh heh heh! You checking us out?"
April "Yeah. I wanted to see if you were tough enough to have me as a member."
[The whole gang starts laughing.]
Lugnut "So, you think you're real tough, do you?"
April "Well, fairly tough."
Lugnut "Yeah? Well, we'll just see about that. If you can take on Jersey Red here in a fight to the finish, you're in the gang."
Jersey Red "I'm gonna eat youse alive!"
Lugnut "We'll catch you later, Red, after you wipe up the place with this snoop. Ha, ha ha."
April "Aah!"
[April is thrown out from under the bridge, landing on her knees in front of Michelangelo’s hiding place.]
April "Oh! Ooh, I guess I showed her."
[She runs back to face Red.]
Michelangelo "Uh-oh. Looks bad. Jersey Red is gonna pound April into pizza dough."
[He starts to transform again.]
Michelangelo "Bodacious! I'm changing back into a turtle. It must be the adrenaline in my bloodstream."
Jersey Red "You don't know when to quit do ya? Ha ha ha! Guess I have to teach ya."
Michelangelo "April, duck!"
[He pushes April out of the way and catches Red by her feet. Spinning her around, he then tosses Red into a dumpster.]
Jersey Red "Hyah! Whoa!"
Michelangelo "Turtle power does it again."
Lugnut "Hey, Red, you done yet?"
Jersey Red "Whoa! What hit me?"
Lugnut "I don't know how you did it, babe, but, uh, looks like you're the winner."
April "Why, I am?
Then I'm in the gang?"
[They are now in an alleyway.]
Then I'm in the gang?"
Lugnut "Not so fast. You gotta burglarize a pad and bring us the loot."
April "You...you mean breaking and entering?"
High Five "Hey, what's the matter? Chicken?"
April "No way. In fact, I know just the person to rob."
Lugnut "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"
[Michelangelo is still watching April. He is now human looking again.]
Michelangelo "April's getting in way over her head. I'd better follow her."
[Back at the lair, the other three turtles are having dinner.]
Raphael "Has anybody seen Michelangelo?"
Leonardo "I think he's still upset about those cookies."
[A sudden explosion shakes the lair and knocks the turtles out of their chairs.]
Leonardo "What was that?"
Donatello "It came from the lab."
[They run to the lab. There is smoke coming out of the trash can.]
Donatello "It's the anti-mutagen. It exploded."
Leonardo "It's unstable. It's a good thing none of us tried that stuff."
Splinter "But I fear one of you has. See this note Michelangelo left?"
Donatello "
"Dear dudes, if these cookies aren't bogus, by the time you scope this note, I'll be human. Cowabunga!""
[reading]
"Dear dudes, if these cookies aren't bogus, by the time you scope this note, I'll be human. Cowabunga!""
Leonardo "Let's go find him."
Splinter "Wait, my impetuous disciples. Finding him will not help if you do not have an antidote to the formula."
Donatello "I'm working on it right now."
[Topside, Michelangelo is climbing a fire escape.]
Michelangelo "Whew. This was a whole lot easier when I was a turtle. What luck! April's window's open."
April "I'll be back in a flash with the stash."
[She enters her apartment building through the front door and goes into her apartment. As she steps in, Michelangelo steps out from behind the door and closes it.]
Michelangelo "Yo, dudette!
Whoa! Hey, chill out! I'm a friend."
[April throws him over her shoulder.]
Whoa! Hey, chill out! I'm a friend."
April "Oh, yeah? Prove it."
Michelangelo "I'm the dude who tossed Jersey Red in that dumpster."
April "So that's how I did that. And you told me to duck, too! But anyway, what are you doing in my apartment?"
Michelangelo "I came to warn you; that gang is mondo rude-- uh, really dangerous."
April "Thanks for the warning, but I'm a reporter on a hot story. Sure hope this junk jewelry of mine fools those goons. What do ya think?"
[Michelangelo starts to transform again.]
Michelangelo "Uh-oh. Uh--eh--gotta run."
April "What are you doing? Michelangelo? It's you!"
Michelangelo "I guess I better give you the straight scoop."
[Meanwhile, the other turtles are in their turtle van searching for him.]
Leonardo "Where do we start? There are twelve million people in this city.
Look! That's him."
[He stops the van.]
Look! That's him."
[A teen dressed like Michelangelo in a floral shirt and red shoes walks in front of the van.]
Donatello "You're right. It's Michelangelo as a human teenager."
Leonardo "Michelangelo!"
Lookalike "Whoa! Two-legged turtles."
Leonardo "You sure gave us a scare."
Lookalike "I gave you a scare?"
Donatello "Hey, hold still while I spray you with this antidote."
[He sprays the teen with a green mist. The teen starts coughing.]
Lookalike "Hey, cool it with that stuff!"
Leonardo "Uh, Donatello, how long is this formula supposed to take?"
Donatello "It's instantaneous."
Raphael "Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't instantaneous mean right away?"
Lookalike "Oh, wow!
This is excellent. My pimples are history. Hey, thanks, guys."
[His face, hair and clothing have all changed and he’s now holding a skateboard.]
This is excellent. My pimples are history. Hey, thanks, guys."
[He skates away.]
Leonardo "That wasn't Michelangelo."
Donatello "We're losing valuable time. The anti-mutagen in Michelangelo's system could already be unstable."
Leonardo "Which means?"
Donatello "That Michelangelo is a walking time bomb."
[Michelangelo, now human again, walks along a sidewalk next to April.]
Michelangelo "But April, this is too dangerous. This mutagen is so unstable, I don't know when I'm gonna lose my turtle powers."
April "That's okay, Michelangelo, I don't need anyone's help. Uh-oh, the gang's all here."
Michelangelo "I better stay out of sight."
Lugnut "Okay. You got the, uh, merchandise?"
April "Right here. It was a piece of cake."
Lugnut "Ahh, nice loot. All right, babe. You're in the gang."
[The ground starts shaking followed by loud rumbling. Suddenly a transport module drills up through the pavement in front of the gang.]
Lugnut "What's that? A runaway subway car?"
Bebop "Yo, Lugnut! High Five! Jersey Red!"
April "Uh-oh, it's Rocksteady and Bebop."
Lugnut "What do you freaks want?"
Bebop "Don't you recognize us?"
Rocksteady "Oh, we're your old buddies, Bebop and Rocksteady."
Jersey Red "You can't fool us. You guys are better looking than they were."
Rocksteady "Maybe this’ll convince you."
[He rams head first into a brick wall, knocking it down.]
Lugnut "Nice. I'm convinced. Nobody else but Bebop and Rocksteady would be so dumb."
High Five "So, uh, how come you got turned into animals?"
Bebop "We'll tell you later. Meanwhile, we got a job for your gang."
[The turtles continue to search for Michelangelo.]
Donatello "This ray will make any traces of the anti-mutagen glow green. Maybe we can pick up Michelangelo's trail."
Leonardo "I just hope we find him soon. Remember what that stuff did to that garbage can."
Donatello "Bingo! I've located him. His tracks lead into the park."
Leonardo "Let's go, turtles."
[The gang stands on the dock, looking at the ship holding the cargo Krang wants stolen.]
Lugnut "All right. Wait here till I check it out. All clear. Come on up."
[They all stand around the open cargo hold.]
High Five "Now what, Bebop?"
Bebop "Now what, Rocksteady?"
Rocksteady "Now what--oh. I forgot. The boss ain't here."
Lugnut "Maybe we get the electronic stuff."
April "I've got to find a radio to warn the authorities.
Ah! There's one. Hello. Hello! Is anyone out there?"
[She looks into the radio control room.]
Ah! There's one. Hello. Hello! Is anyone out there?"
Bebop "
Oh, boy, look at all these levers and buttons and stuff. I wonder how this works."
[inside a crane]
Oh, boy, look at all these levers and buttons and stuff. I wonder how this works."
[He presses a button and swings the hook around to the cargo hold.]
Rocksteady "Keep it coming. Steady, steady.
Hey, wait a minute. Drop me. Drop me!
No, no, no, no, don't drop me. Don't drop me! Whoa!"
[The hook catches his belt.]
Hey, wait a minute. Drop me. Drop me!
[It swings him out over the water.]
No, no, no, no, don't drop me. Don't drop me! Whoa!"
April "Come in, anyone—
Anyone but you, that is."
[Rocksteady crashes into the room and lands on the control panel.]
Anyone but you, that is."
Rocksteady "Wait. Don't I know you?"
April "I don't think so. Got to go."
Rocksteady "It's that reporter dame, April O'Neil. Grab her!"
[Above them, Michelangelo, in turtle form, holds a dangling rope.]
Michelangelo "Hang on, April. Here I come."
[He swings down, grabs April, and swings her up to safety.]
April "You might be Tarzan, but I'm not Jane. Michelangelo, you're a turtle again."
Michelangelo "Let's hope it lasts this time."
[He swings down to where Rocksteady is standing. Michelangelo grabs his arm, but finds he can’t lift him.]
Michelangelo "Upsy-Daisy, horn head. Ugh! Oh, mondo bummer. I'm changing again. I just wish my body would make up its mind."
Rocksteady "Hey! Well, look what we got; a human turtle. Looks like somebody's been nibbling on the Shredder's cookies."
Rocksteady "Let me go, dude, and I promise not to hurt you."
Rocksteady "Big talk for a guy that just lost his turtle powers.
Haul him away, Bebop. You ex-turtles are gonna be extinct."
[He attaches the crane hook to Michelangelo’s shorts.]
Haul him away, Bebop. You ex-turtles are gonna be extinct."
Raphael "Bonzai!"
Leonardo "Don't count on it, Boulder-brain."
[He throws a sword and cuts the crane hook rope. Michelangelo lands on his feet.]
All "Turtles fight with honor!"
April "Way to go, turtles!
Put me down, you muscle-bound mutant."
[Rocksteady grabs her.]
Put me down, you muscle-bound mutant."
[He starts climbing a rope ladder up towards the mast.]
Rocksteady "Oh, happy to oblige, when we get a little bit higher."
Michelangelo "Hang on, April. Here I come."
Lugnut "I don't know where you came from, but you're gonna wish you never left."
Raphael "I bet you say that to all the turtles.
Don't you fellas know I never work without a net?"
[He cuts a rope with an axe and a net falls on the two gang members.]
Don't you fellas know I never work without a net?"
Leonardo "I think you'll agree this is real slick."
[He rides a wheeled board at two other gang members and then overturns a bucket of sudsy water on them.]
Gang "Whoa! Whoa! Ohh!"
[They fall overboard.]
Leonardo "Maybe a bath will help you clean up your act."
Gang Member "Eh, you're gonna get it, pal."
[Donatello aims a hose at two gang members.]
Donatello "Uh-uh. You are."
Gang "Whoa! Whoa! Ahh!"
Bebop "This don't look good. I'm getting out of here."
Rocksteady "Give up, turtles, or I drop your snoopy friend."
April "Don't listen to him, guys, he's bluffing. I hope."
Michelangelo "I reckon I'll just lasso me a little heifer. Yeehoo!
I need some total turtle power."
[He tosses a rope to April, but then can’t lift her.]
I need some total turtle power."
Rocksteady "Oh, get real! You're just a puny human now."
April "Ugh! So am I, but that doesn't stop me."
[She kicks him and swings away. Rocksteady loses his balance and falls.]
Rocksteady "Oof! Yeow!"
Raphael "Well, what do you know. A flying rhino."
Leonardo "One down, one to go."
[He pulls a cord and releases steam from the ventilator, where Bebop is hiding. Bebop shoots out, lands on Rocksteady who is caught in overhead ropes, and both bounce into the cargo hold.]
Both "Whoa! Oof! Oof! Aah! Aah!"
Raphael "Can't those guys ever just leave through the door?"
Donatello "Hold still while I spray you with the antidote."
Michelangelo "Fantabuloso! I'm changing back!"
Donatello "Only this time, it's permanent."
Michelangelo "All right! I'm yours truly again."
Brothers "Hey, Michelangelo! How you doin', buddy?"
April "Turtle or human, I still think you're the greatest."
[She kisses him.]
Leonardo "Careful, April. You might turn him human again."
Michelangelo "No way, dude. I'm packing shell. Being human is totally bogus."
[At the Channel 6 news building, April turns in her story.]
Thompson "Not a bad story, April. Not a bad story at all. This part about the gang robbing a ship; that's good-good-good stuff."
April "Thanks, chief."
Thompson "But who'd believe this bunk about teenage turtles mopping up the deck with human gangsters? Ha, ha, ha. Next time, just stick to the facts."
April "Right, chief."
[Back in their lair, the turtles sit around the kitchen table.]
Michelangelo "I can hardly wait for this tubular pizza, dudes."
Donatello "I know you'll like it."
Raphael "Right, we made it in honor of your return to turtlehood."
Leonardo "And also a memento of your adventures as a human."
Donatello "A chocolate chip pizza."
Michelangelo "Blecchh! Chocolate chip pizza? Whoa! Ahh!"
[He runs away.]
Raphael "I think it'll be a while before Michelangelo gets back his taste for those things."
Donatello "Should we save him a slice?"
Leonardo "Nah!"
Raphael "Nah! Another piece, please."
[End Credits]