Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

"The driver is here to take me to the campaign donors dinner..."

Baxter Stockman "...I trust you'll see to the retrieval of the remaining Mousers, yes?"

April O'Neil "Sure, Doctor Stockman. There's only one more to round up and I've got a flyborg tracking it right now."

April "Shouldn't take long."

Baxter "Good. We've taken care of the city's rat infestation free of charge and I see no reason to continue."

Baxter "Need I remind you that this is a business and not a charity?"

April "I'm fully aware of that fact, doctor."

April "But I am wondering what you plan to do with the business side of TCRI if you get elected."

April "Won't your expensive government contracts be considered conflicts of interest at that point?"

Baxter "Perhaps. But I'm not mayor."

Baxter "Yet."

April "Remember, April—he's your monster. You made him."

April "Deal with it, girl."

April "Speaking of monsters, what do you have for me, you nasty little bug—"

Page 2

"—Where's your Mouser pal hiding, huh?"


April "The museum?"

"Guess some rats do have good taste."



April "...Definitely not a rat."

Page 3


Donatello "Did you find that 5/8th wrench yet, Mikey?"

Michelangelo "Nope. Still looking, dude."

Mikey "I got it!"


Donnie "Ow!"

Mikey "Hamato Water Works—which drip do you want?"

Donnie "Dang it, Mike! That hurt!"

April "Mikey, it's April. Is Donnie there?"

Mikey >Oh, hey, April. Yeah, he's here. I'm helping him trick out our sweet new ride in Harold's old lab.<

Page 4


Donnie "You're not helping!"

Mikey "Hey!"

Donnie "He's really not helping, April."

April >Forget that for now, Donnie. Just put me on speaker and check out the picture I texted you.<

April "You're never gonna guess who's back in town."

Mikey "Whoa. Cool dinosaurs."

Donnie "Look closer, Mike."

Mikey "Oh. Yeah."

Mikey "Maybe not so cool."

April >Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing?<

Donnie "Yeah, we are, April—"

Page 5

"—Looks like Clan Hamato's paying a visit to the museum tonight."

Leonardo "Well, we're in the right place."

Leo "...Someone got physical with the physical security."

Raphael "Gee, I wonder who?"

Mikey "Is he okay?"

Leo "Yeah&mdas;he's just out cold."

Donnie "Same for the electronic security."

Donnie "I've got all the motion sensors and security cameras jammed."

Donnie "But that means we can't communicate with April, either, and we've only got about thirty minutesbefore the system figures out it's been compromised."

Leo "Then we better get moving."

Mikey "To the dinosaurs, right? Sweet!"

Raph "Hoo-stinkin'-ray."

Leo "There's the Mouser."

Mikey "Dude. He tore that thing up."

Raph "No kiddin'."

Raph "You know, I still don't get why we gotta be the freak police."

Donnie "Guys, check this out."

Mikey "Ew... Is that...?"

Donnie "Blood? Yeah."

Donnie "The trail leads to the adjoining exhibit."

Page 6

Leo "Okay, guys—slow and easy, and eyes in the backs of your heads. We know he's here somewhere."

Leo "Let's find him before he finds us."

Leatherhead "Too late for that, I'm afraid..."

Leatherhead "...I recognized your scents as soon as you entered the building."

Leatherhead "Hello, turtles."

Page 7

Steven "Raaarr!"

Jennika "Put... Put those away, Steven."

Jenny "We're here to train, not play with toys!"

Steven "But training's boring."

Jenny "And this is definitely not a toy, Mary."

Mary "No duh."

Casey "...Need some backup?"

Jenny "Casey Jones?"

Casey "Just Casey's fine."

Casey "And I've got plenty of vanilla ice cream in case anyone was wonderin'."

Boy "Ice cream!"

Casey "Cones are in the bag and here's the scooper."

Casey "You big kids take care of the squirts."

Page 8

Casey "There—that should keep 'em busy for like five minutes."

Jenny "Thank you, but... How did you know?"

Casey " 'Bout the kids? Master Splinter called me."

Casey "He said you were stuck watchin' 'em by yourself while Mikey was off doin' somethin' with Donnie and that maybe I could help you out."

Jenny "Master Splinter? Really?"

Casey "Yeah. Guess he didn't wanna lose his best soldier to a bunch of wild kids."

Casey "Speakin' o' which, I almost didn't recognize you outta your ninja duds. The Foot Clan get new uniforms or somethin'?"

Jenny "Um... No. I just thought my normal clothes might be too intimidating to the smaller children."

Jenny "I don't want to scare them—I'm just trying to get them to exercise."

Casey "Well, you definitely ain't scary, that's for sure."

Jenny "I, um... Thanks."

Casey "Anyway, once that sugar kicks in, you won't have any problem gettin' these kids to exercise. You might wanna get a cone of your own so you can keep up with 'em."

Casey "Hope you like vanilla, Jennika."

Jenny "Just Jenny is fine."

Jenny "And vanilla's my favorite."

Casey "Heh. Mine, too... Jenny."

"Well, I certainly didn't expect this..."

Page 9

Leatherhead "...A midnight visit from old acquaintances."

Leo "What are you doing here, Leatherhead?"

Leatherhead "Nothing more than it appears. Enjoying all the natural beauty this museum has on display."

Leatherhead "Quietly reminding myself of the importance of my chosen purpose."

Leatherhead "Or at least I was until that mechanical monstrosity attacked me unprovoked."

"The metal beast took two of my fingers before I was finally able to take its artificial life."

Raph "And what about that security guard you walloped?"

Leatherhead "The old human? He, too, accosted me for no reason, and I could have easily killed him. But I chose not to."

Leatherhead "The stench of death was already upon him. Disease will destroy him soon enough."

Leo "Maybe. But you still hurt him, and we can't let you do that to anyone else."

Leo "We've seen what you're capable of."

Leatherhead "Is that so?"

Leatherhead "And is that why you've come here, Leonardo? To send me back to Dimension X and your Neutrino friends for prosecution?"

Leatherhead "One would think they'd celebrate my return after I devoured General Krang.*"

[*See TMNT #75 - B.C.]

Page 10

Raph "What are you gonna do with him, Leo? You got a plan, right?"

Leo "I'm... Working on it."

Donnie "Well, make it quick."

Donnie "Clock's ticking."

Leo "Look—we're not here to take you back to Dimension X."

Leo "The Utroms asked the Neutrinos to let you off the hook and that's good enough for us."

Raph "Yeah, far as we're concerned, you did the universe a solid by chokin' down Krang."

Leatherhead "Then what is it you do want?"

Donnie "How about a truce for starters?"

Donnie "We've been able to work out peace between the Utroms and the Triceratons—why should it be any different with us?"

Mikey "Yeah, Leather-bro, we're all mutants here."

Mikey "We should totally be friends."

Leatherhead "Friends, you say?"

Leatherhead "In truth, we shouldn't be at all."

Raph "Oh, great... Here we go."

Mikey "At least let us help you with your hand, dude."

Mikey "You don't wanna get an infection."

Page 11

Leatherhead "Infection? How redundant. We are already infections—we mutants."

Leatherhead "Like the fetid sickness inside the old man I waylaid, a cancer upon this world with only one logical remedy."

Leatherhead "As for my fingers, these are not the first appendages I've lost in my long life."

Leatherhead "They will return, like all the others have in the past."

Donnie "Um, are you sure? No offense, but I'm pretty certain alligators can only regenerate teeth."

Leatherhead "Which is precisely my point, Donatello—I am not normal."

Leatherhead "None of us are."

Raph "Okay, that's it. I can't take this crap anymore."

Raph "Man, you're always talkin' bout how we're monsters, how we don't deserve to live, blah bla blah."

Raph "But you know what? All I'm hearin' is a pathetic wimp feelin' sorry for himself."

Raph "I already chucked my guts out once this week, and I swear to God I'll do it again if I gotta hear any more of your whinin'."

Mikey "C'mon, Raph—chill, bro. Poor dude's been through a lot."

Raph "Yeah? And we haven't? 'CEpt you don't see none of us quittin' just because life ain't fair."

Raph "You hate livin' in this world so much, do somethin' about it."

Raph "Put up or shut up."

Leatherhead "Turtle, I will—"

Krang (hallucination) "You will what?"

Page 12

Leatherhead "Impossible."

Krang (h) "What will you do, you mewling monstrosity?"

Leatherhead "This... This can't be. I..."

Leatherhead "I killed you."

Donnie "Who's he talking to?"

Mikey "The cave dudes, dude."

Raph "They ain't real, brainiac."

Mikey "I know that, Raph—"

"—But I'm pretty sure Leatherhead doesn't."

Krang (h) "Did you think yourself rid of me, Leatherhead? Did you believe me gone?"

Leatherhead "You are gone! I killed you!"

Leatherhead "And I will again!"

Page 13


Krang (h) "Pitiful beast. Always a slave..."

Leatherhead "How—?"

Krang (h) "...Always a prisoner."

Leatherhead "No."

Mikey "Guys, I don't like how he's looking at us."

Donnie "Did you really have to push him over the edge, Raph?"

Raph "Hey, he was already bonkers before I started."

Leo "Everything's cool, Leatherhead. Just calm down."

Leo "This doesn't have to be a fight."

Krang (h) "He's right. You'd only lose, Leatherhead."

Page 14

Leatherhead "Die!"

Leo "Look out!"

Mikey "Gahh!"


Mikey "Gahh!"

Krang (h) "Worthless..."

Leatherhead "Don't call me that."

Mikey "Hey, big fella, take it easy. I'm not calling you anything."

Krang (h) "And weak."

Page 15

Leatherhead "Shut up!"


Mikey "Unf!"


Mikey "Uh-oh."

Page 16


Leo "Mikey!"

Page 17

Mikey "Nnnng..."

Krang (h) "How fitting that he's lying in the dead remains of a failed species."

Krang (h) "It seems your precious mother nature always rectifies her mistakes after all."

Leatherhead "You are not worthy to speak of her, Kra—"


Donnie "Get away from him, Leatherhead!"


Raph "What the hell's wrong with you, man?"

Raph "You lose some brains along with those digits?"

Leatherhead "I... I..."

Leo "You okay, Mike?"

Mikey "Yeah, bro... I'm good. Just some broken bones."

Mikey "Heh."

Page 18

Raph "What'sit gonna be, alligator shoes?"

Raph "You done bein' stupid or what?"

Krang (h) "Yes, you wretched coward..."

Krang (h) "...What will it be?"


Krang (h) "Fight..."

Krang (h) "...Or flight?"

Leatherhead "No!"

Mikey "Whoa!"

Leatherhead "Leave me alone!"

Page 19


Leatherhead "I killed you!"

Leatherhead "No more!"

Mikey "What the—?"

Leatherhead "No more!"

Raph "Okay, that wasn't too weird."

Raph "If he was nuts before, he's totally off his rocker now."

Donnie "Can you really blame him? Being tortured for hundreds of years is bound to destroy your psyche."

Mikey "Poor guy."

Leo "Whatever it is, that's the last time we come after him without a solid plan. That was a total disaster."

Leo "My bad, guys."

Raph "Don't sweat it, bro—"

Page 20

"—There ain't no easy way to plan for crazy."

"Sir, you might want to check this out."

John Bishop "What is it, soldier?"

Soldier "On monitor three, Agent Bishop..."


Soldier "...One of our drones picked up an unidentified bogey."

Bishop "Fascinating."

Bishop "Be sure to archive this footage immediately, soldier."

Bishop "I'll want to review this again very soon."

Bishop "But for now..."

"...I have unfinished business to take care of."

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