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 YOU'RE NOT ON 
 NICKTOONS 
 ANYMORE! 

Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

Sally Pride "Whoooooo!"

Sally "I told you I could get this baby off the ground!"

Sally "You owe me twenty bucks!"

Man Ray "Neither of us have a dime of currency to our name, Sally."

Old Hob "Take this next left. We're almost there."

Sally "You're sure this is where Seymour went?"

Hob "Yeah..."

Hob "I'm pretty sure."

Page 2

Lindsey Baker "Listen—I understand what you're saying. But there are innocent people in this lab."

Lindsey "You don't know—"

Seymour Gutz "You don't know! I know more about this place than you ever will."

Lindsey "I know the people who work here. I know what they've done."

Seymour "And I even know what kind of chemical spill will trigger a lockdown."

Lindsey "No! We'll all be trapped!"

DANGER CHEMICALS

Page 3


Mondo "This is totally bogus!"

Lindsey "Hob!"

Hob "Hey, I'm just here to get my man back, before he does something stupid."

Lindsey "Put down the gun! He's our best chance of getting out of this alive."

Jillian Amante "Which means we're really screwed."

Seymour "Hob. You need to leave. Please. Right now."

Hob "No way."

Hob "What's the plan here, Seymour? You got a bomb somewhere on your suit?"

Lindsey "Hob—"

Lindsey "He is the bomb."

Page 4

Seymour "It's like you said, Hob."

Seymour "Any sacrifice, to make sure no mutant"

Hob "No! I didn't mean..."

Hob "Seymour, these people tried their damnedest to turn you into a monster. And if you do this? They succeeded."

Hob "Do not let these bastards define you. You get to decide who you want to be."

Hob "That's what Slash was trying to tell me."

Hob "And he was right."

Hob "So, who do you want to be, Seymour?"

Seymour "I... I don't know."

Seymour "But I want to... I want to..."

Page 5

Hob "Seymour! Seymour, are you—"

Lindsey "He's still alive. That wasn't the big one!"

Lindsey "But we need to disarm him or—"

BOOOM

Hob "What the hell?"

Herman the Hermit Crab "Sir, we have breached the compound's defenses!"

Scientist "The lockdown is ruptured! Everybody run!"

Ray "Not you, Dr. Amante."

Hob "Mutanimals. You need to run, too. Get out of here, and—"

Mondo "That's not happening, bro."

Hob "No... I didn't think so."

Lindsey "I can't figure this out. It's your tech, Jillian. What do we do?"

Jillian "I—I don't know. We don't have time to..."

Lindsey "Right. No time."

Lindsey "I'm so sorry if this doesn't work."

KRAKI KRAK KRAKI

Page 6

SPUTTER...

Lindsey "Can you talk?"

Seymour "I... I can."

Lindsey "Okay. Listen, Mutagen Man."

Lindsey "Wait. Is... Is Mutagen Man really what you like to be called?"

Seymour "No. I have a real name, no. Seymour Gutz."

Lindsey "Huh. I'm guessing Mondo Gecko gave you that name."

Lindsey "Listen, Seymour, your suit needs a lot of work. It's going to take time."

Lindsey "But you'll be okay."

Lindsey "Hob..."

Hob "No. Don't get sappy, or try to feed me some line about how we're a family. I ain't buying it."

Lindsey "We're not family, Hob. But you need someone who knows mutagen."

Lindsey "I'll be that person, until something better comes along."

Hob "Fine. We understand each other. But you're not coming with us."

Hob "Instead, I have a job for you and your little friend back there."

Page 7


"You're both going to help us with this plan we're cooking up..."

Null "Old Hob. I'm glad you came to see me. Because if I can tell you a little secret?"

Null "You guys are really starting to piss me off."

Hob "That's the idea."

Null "You know you can't win. Right? Absolutely, objectively can't win."

Null "We're a multinational corporation—multi-dimensional, between you and I—and you're a scrappy band of mutant terrorists."

Null "The truth is, all of your efforts have made just the tiniest, most imperceptible little dent."

Hob "Just a dent, huh?"

Hob >Is that why I was able to walk in the front door and get a meeting? Just you and me, alone in your office?<

Sally "They're alone!"

Herman "Okay, soldiers! It's go time!"

Herman "There's going to be a lot of Null guards down there, but we've faced them before."

Herman "We're trained. We're ready..."

Page 8

"...And we know what to expect."

Herman "Sir... We haven't seen a single person since we left the rooftop."

Slash "You know what Lindsey said. No cameras in the stairwells. Far less security going down than coming up."

Herman "Yes, sir. But there are security cameras out here. And yet—"

SMASH

Page 9

Jillian "Yes. Al the guards—the other guards—ran once the doors were open. I guess they weren't being paid enough to get blown up?"

Jillian "No, I—no, I'm not questioning... Yes, I'll be here."

Jillian "We have about five minutes before the second wave of guards arrive."

Jillian "I've wiped the DNA codes. Deleted the formulas. Set the research back years. But this next thing—I really don't think we should—"

Lindsey "It doesn't matter what you think, Jillian. This is your chance to stop running, and stay together. We can continue our work, with the Mutanimals. Hob said he would take both of us in."

Lindsey "But first, we have to do this. Those are the terms. And they're the best you're gonna get."

Jillian "This is everything on our animal testing. Every file. Every video of every brutal experiment that Null—that I performed."

Lindsey "Thank you, Jillian."

Page 10

Jillian "Lindsey! Like, what are you doing?"

Lindsey "What did you think, Jillian? That you were going to get a reward, just for fixing your own mistakes?"

Lindsey "I've tried to make this work, Jillian. I've given you so many chances, and you've burned me every time. So consider this a pre-emptive break up."

Jillian "But, you said—"

Lindsey "You've told me so many lies, I figured I owned you one."

Jillian "Lindsey, listen—no more lies. No more manipulation."

Jillian "I just want all this to stop. I'm so tired of scrambling just to survive, like—like some animal."

Lindsey "Goodbye, Jillian."

Jillian "Lindsey!"

Page 11

Herman "Soldiers! Get behind me!"

Mondo "These things are gnarly! And, like, not in a bodacious kind of way!"

Ray "Mondo, someday you'll have to explain to me the intricacies of your unique vernacu—"

Pigeon Pete "Ghaa!"

Slash "Pete!"

Page 12

Null "It sounds like your teammates have arrived."

Null "Let me guess: The plan was for them to sneak in the building, while you distract me?"

Null "What a surprise!"

Null >The second you entered this office, we started to evacuate the building.<

Null >Now it's just your little crew and a dozen killer robots—another one of my pet projects.<

"Don't you see, Hob?"

"This isn't a siege. This isn't the next battle of some ongoing war."

"This is the end."

Slash "Rrrargh!"

"And there's nothing you can do about it."

Page 13

Pete "Seymour!"

Seymour "Help me!"

Herman "Soldiers... Brothers..."

Herman "...It's been a privilege."

WHUP! WHUP! WHUP! WHUP!

Page 14

FLARE GUN

Sally "Mutanimals! I heard you could use a little help."

Sally "And I thought, "Hey, why not? I'm just sitting up here in this stolen helicopter." "

CRACK

Sally "Now let's kick some robot ass!"

Page 15

Slash "Enough!"

Sally "Come on, Herman! We could use a bit of that firepower right about now."

Mondo "Yeah, dude!"

Mondo "That's more like it!"

Mondo "Slash... Are you..."

Slash "It's... Under... Control."

Page 16

"Now let's finish the plan."

Null "You know, I actually like you, Hob. You're interesting. Smart, but not educated. Violent, but not trained in the use of violence. You have so much potential."

Null "And that's made this pretty fun. A pleasant distraction."

Null "But we're done, now."

Null "You can't win. And you certainly can't kill me. Honestly, I don't even understand why you're here."

Hob "Because... I... Can..."

Hob "...Hurt you."

Page 17

Null "Aaagh!"

Null "You stupid alley-cat."

Null "You managed to distract me. But did you really think that would hurt me?"

Hob "No..."

Hob "But this will."

Page 18

FWOOM

SMASH

Page 19

Null "You... You can't... You can't win."

Hob "You're right. You're a giant, multinational corporation. And we're just a scrappy band of mutants. We can't win."

Hob "But boy, can we stir up trouble. Way more trouble than we're worth."

Hob "We will make sure that the profits you earn are nowhere near worth the cost."

"We'll set your research back by years."

[...]L NEWS

"We'll expose all your dirty little secrets. We'll make your stock prices plummet."

Hob "And when you finally manage to claw your way back to where you were?"

Hob "We'll do it again."

Hob "So put your efforts elsewhere. Cure cancer. Set up a mining colony on Venus. Develop a new sports drink."

Pete "Or a blueberry cola!"

Hob "Or a blueberry cola."

Hob "Do whatever you want. Just leave our kind alone. Because if you don't?"

Hob "I will find you. I will hurt you. And I swear, I will kill you."

Hob "Even if I have to put you on a rocket and shoot you straight into the sun."

Page 20

[Later...]

Sally "Hey, don't go anywhere, doc! You're next up for some first aid."

Lindsey "I was sitting on a park bench six blocks away from the fight, Sally."

Sally "Yeah? So what happened to your hands?"

Lindsey "Oh... That. Those are heat blisters. Seymour's suit was... The overheating was quite significant."

Lindsey "And brawling with my ex-girlfriend certainly didn't help the matter."

FIRST AID

Sally "Huh. But you didn't stop. Didn't run. Didn't even tell us about it."

Lindsey "I didn't see the point."

Sally "I get that. You don't like to admit you need help. You feel like it makes you vulnerable. I'm the same way."

Lindsey "I don't think that's—you don't understand the dynamic that—"

Sally "Doc. Pete told me why you left the team."

Sally "That you didn't feel like anyone trusted you."

Sally "But if you want people to trust you, you've gotta trust them."

Sally "That's the point."

Page 21

Hob "How'd it go?"

Ray "We now have the names and home addresses of every scientist who worked on the Null Group's mutagen project."

Ray "We should start monitoring them. Find out if the Null Group dismisses them, or re-assigns them to new projects."

Hob "And if the mutagen project starts up again..."

Ray "Then we stop them, any way we can. We show the scientific community that experimenting on mutants is..."

Ray "...Hazardous to your health."

Hob "And you would be all right with that? I know you intellectual types aren't exactly suited to—"

Ray "I would be considerably more than all right with it."

Ray "In the lab—before you freed me—I had nothing to do but think. I spent all my time planning. Analyzing. Strategizing. But never acting."

Ray "What we did, at Null Headquarters... I needed that."

Ray "And now I need more."

Hob "Yeah. It's a good plan."

Hob "But we... We probably shouldn't tell Slash about it."

Ray "Oh, agreed."

Ray "I think that old boy has enough on his mind already."

Page 22

Herman "Oh, there you are, sir."

Herman "You should do the honors."

Hob "Nah."

Hob "Being with you all is honor enough."

Ray "Well, I know I'm certainly happy to be here. I suspect that eventually, this little team will do great things for mutants everywhere."

Mondo "Eventually? Jeez, man. What do you call the last couple of days?"

Hob "I call it a pretty good start."

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