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Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids. |
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[The Firehouse.] [It's been hours since the dispersal of Chi-You's spectral form, and our heroes have been busy.] [Egon Spengler and Donatello have made strides towards recreating a functioning interspatial teleportation unit.] Donatello "Oh man, Egon, you have stuff here I'd have to invent back home. I think we're gonna make it." Donnie "Uh, barring catastrophe, of course." Egon Spengler "Of course." [Ray Stantz, April O'Neil, and Kylie Griffin continue work on a device to free Chi-You's thralls from his control.] April O'Neil "Okay, how's that looking?" Ray Stantz "Connected on the first try! April, you have a gift for this. Whatever your major is, I'd change it to engineering." Kylie Griffin "Calm down, boss." [As for the less technologically gifted... They can only wait.] Winston Zeddemore "Man, the balance on this is perfect." Leonardo "See? No one ever appreciates that!" Michelangelo "Check it out, I told you guys these things would stretch!" KLANGKLANGKLANGKLANGKLANGKLANG |
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Peter Venkman "We're not taking any calls, Janine, remember?" Janine Melnitz >That was a proximity alarm, Peter!< Janine "It's set to go off whenever something very nasty gets too close to the Firehouse! Which you'd know if you ever bothered to read a memo!" Peter "..." Peter "Well maybe someone shoulda thought to not make all our alarms sound the same." Kylie "Hey, was that the proximity alarm?" Peter "Oh, for—how could you tell?" Kylie "Maybe because it sounded like it." Winston "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Leo "That our mutual enemy has decided to come looking for us? It had crossed my mind. But how would he know where to find us?" Winston "We're in the phone book, man." Leo "But would he think to look there?" |
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Mikey "I think I can answer that one, bro." Mikey "They're here!" WISE POPC[...] 15 DAYS WITHOUT A REPORTABLE ACCIDENT Winston "Those modified packs are downstairs, man—you and your boys better get geared up." Leo "Check. And, Kylie? The thing you and April are working on with Dr. Stantz—we need it ten minutes ago!" Kylie "We're on it." |
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CRASH Raphael "They made it in already!" Turtle "Whoa, Janine is hardcore." Janine "She also liked it better when things like this didn't show up on her %$#@ doorstep and is thinking she deserves a raise for putting up with this crap." SHRZAAAAAAAAAAKK Peter "Sure thing, Janine. We'll talk all about it next quarter." Janine "Next quarter?!" Leo "Raph! Mikey! We need to try to even the odds—start zapping these guys!" |
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SHZAAAAKK Peter "Heh. We're gonna have to get you a souvenir for all this—"I fought the minions of an uppity class 7 and all I got was this lousy T-shirt." " Raph "Watch it with the lasers, man! And what the heck's a class 7?" Peter "Godlike being. They have a habit of getting real stuck-up... And then we have to take 'em back down a peg." Raph "You guys." Raph "Takin' out gods." Raph "Regularly." THWOK Raph "Yeah, I'm still not sure I can make that work in my head." |
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Kylie "A little more... A little—wait! There. Calibrated." Ray "And from all the noise downstairs, none too soon. Okay, April—" Ray "—I'm no longer in danger of frying off my eyebrows. Let's reconnect the power and get this done." April "Okay, was that me? Did we blow a fuse?" Ray "The way we have this building wired, that's actually not possible. Which means there needs to be another—" FREE GHOST IN A CAN! Ray "Oh... Crap." |
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Ray "Gotta trip the—huk!" KRKRASHHHH Chi-You "You will not use your accursed technology this time, mortal. Your defiance is at an end." Chi-You "I could turn you all. Make you my own" Chi-You "But you don't deserve the honor. You don't—" Casey Jones "Hey!" |
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Casey "I gotta ask—" Casey "—You think this big red button does anything?" KLACK VWOOOOOOOOM SKREEEEEEEEE VWOOOOOOOOOOM Mikey "Yeah! They did it!" Raph "Finally." Hockey Player (Thrall) "The heck are we now, eh?" |
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Donnie "What was that sound?" Egon "It was likely connected to the proximity alarm... But the others will have to deal with it—we can't afford to stop work now. Ready to power on the unit." SPAK KTOOM POP Egon "Gah!" BRAWWW BRAWWW BRAWWW Donnie "What happened? I thought we compensated for any potential power surges?" Egon "They are working with an EMP upstairs. Perhaps they set it off. Even so, it should only have affected things with a psychokinetic energy signature..." Donnie "Isn't that the basis for your containment unit?" Egon "This still shouldn't have happened." Egon "But we'll worry about that later. Right now, we need to stabilize the containment grid before it ruptures itself and causes a very big, very bad explosion." |
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Chi-You "Unnff... That sound..." Casey "Well, guess we know about that button now, huh?" Casey "Payback's a you-know-what." Chi-You "I've changed my mind. I will enthrall you all, and then make you kill each—what?" Chi-You "My power is gone?!" Chi-You "No!" Ray "Venkman! Winston! If you read, we need you upstairs now! We don't have any packs handy—we're totally exposed up here! Help!" KNASH Chi-You "No!" Chi-You "There will be no help for you!" |
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Chi-You "You will die!" KR-KRASSSHHHH Chi-You "I will peel the flesh from your bones! I will—" SHZAAAAKKKK Peter "Sorry! We need him!" Peter "The building is technically still in his name. Winston, if you would?" Winston "Uh... We're wedged in pretty tight, man. I can't reach my trap without crossing your stream." Peter "...And now we look like amateurs. In front of company." Leo "I can get the trap in there." Winston "You sure? Pete, maybe we can tuck our legs in some, give him room to kick it in?" Leo "Don't bother." WHSSS Leo "When one with proper training takes aim, a six-inch gap might as well be a mile." |
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CLIK VWOOORRPPP Chi-You "No—I will not be trapped..." Peter "Nff—we'll just have to agree to disagree on that." Winston "Yeah—ngh—you're goin' in the box!" Chi-You "No!" Peter "Winston!" Peter "Cut the trap! Cut the—stomp on the pedal!" CLIK |
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Donnie "Talk to me, Egon! What's happening with the big red machine?" Egon "I miscalculated the intense drain an interspatial portal would be on the containment grid's power supply." Egon "If we don't correct the issue fast, it'll fry key components in the interspatial transportation unit—components we don't have the time to replace!" Donnie "Not to mention the whole "putting a crater in Tribeca" thing, which I'd rather avoid..." Donnie "Okay, we've got blown boards in here!" Egon "Rerouting! As soon as you can, grab the tool that looks like a medieval torture device!" Donnie "Got it!" Egon "Okay, good—I need you to go back in the guts of the power supply now. I'll talk you through the first part of what needs to be done!" Donnie "The first part?" |
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Mikey "Was that it? Did Leo get him? He got him, right? In the trap?" Winston (Chi-You) "No." Winston (Chi-You) "Now this is a warrior's body. A body that has faced gods. A body worthy of a conqueror." Ray "No, it's a body worthy of its owner and he's gonna get it back!" Ray "This oughta take care of—" Ray "What the—?!" WHOCK Ray "Unh!" |
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Winston (Chi-You) "No more games!" KLANNGGG Winston (Chi-You) "You are all going to die!" Mikey "Not a chance, dude!" KRAK Winston (Chi-You) "Optimism is an embarrassing trait for a ninja." KRKRASSHHHH |
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Peter "Well, at least we're insured." Peter "How's everybody in here?" MikeyFine, dude. "" April "Dr. Stantz is unconscious." Kylie "Don't worry—we've got a first-aid kit up here. Go help those turtles." Mikey "Hang on—what was that goo ray spritzed? Didn't look like the ghost wanted to touch it." Peter "That was mood slime. Concentrated good vibes. We use it to counter the negative energy of a direct possession." Peter "Geez, I'm starting to sound like Ray." Mikey "Sounds exactly what we need, dude. Is there any more." Peter "Yeah, got a tank of it in the back of the car. You think you can sneak down there and get it without being seen?" Peter "Where'd he—? Okay, I'm gonna just take that as a yes." Peter "Ninjas. Creepy." |
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Raph "Okay, ugly..." Raph "You're going down!" Winston (Chi-You) "You cannot hope to defeat me, turtles." Winston (Chi-You) "I will end you! I will grind you into guilinggao! I will—" Mikey "Dude!" Mikey "Made you look!" SPLOORRRRCH Winston (Chi-You) "Skreeeeee!" Winston "He's not gone yet, guys... Need... One more kick..." Leo "One more kick—you heard the man." Raph "On it." Raph "Hey, ghost! I'm gonna zap you right out of that body!" |
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Chi-You "Fool. Your skills are nothing compared to mine." Raph "I'm not even really tryin', jerk." Chi-You "Then what ar eyou doing?" Leo "We are ninja, Chi-You. He was distracting you from the real attack." FZZZT Winston "Aaaaaaarggghh!" Peter "Well, there's my cue." CLIK VWOOOOOOOOOOOOORP Chi-You "Noooooooooooooo!" ZZZP |
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Mikey "Woo-hah! We did it!" Peter "Yep, you did good. If you guys don't manage to make it back to your own New York, I think we can find a place for you here." Peter "The whole masks and ninja thing? We could merchandise the hell out of that. The kids would love it." Leo "Uh... Thanks?" Raph "But no thanks. This place is way too weird. No offense." Mikey "Speakin' of goin' home—I wonder if Donnie and Egon finally got the way back fixed up?" Peter "Well, they sure weren't helping out up here. Let's give 'em a jingle." Peter "Come in, Egon—you there? You two missed a hell of a party while you were down in the basement, playing with your toys." Peter >—You guys didn't blow anything up, did you?< Egon "No, Peter. Not this time." Donnie "Let's get the interspartial teleportation unit back online." |
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[A short while later...] Ray "Well, gee. I guess this is finally goodbye." Ray "It's been a trip, huh? And, hey, if you even happen to find yourself in this neck of the dimensional woods again..." Donnie "We'll be sure to stop by... But right now, I'm ready to get back to a world where reincarnation is as far as things go." Winston "Hey, man. You guys really saved my butt out there." Leo "Thank you, Winston. It's been an honor." Winston "Oorah!" |
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Egon "Ahem." Egon "Time to go. If you wait any longer, I can't be sure you'll be returned to the proper dimension." Mikey "See you dudes, later!" Casey "And make sure you don't swat at nothin' 'fore we're gone, okay?" FWASH Mikey "Master Splinter!" Splinter "My sons? I didn't hear you come in. Very good." Splinter "Ah, I didn't think my praise was so rare a treat as to deserve quite this response..." |
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Peter "So. That's done. Who wants to dump this guy in the box?" Winston "Naw, man." Winston "Egon? Punch up—I don't know—the edge of the universe or somethin'." WHISSS Winston "I don't want this thing anywhere near me." [Proxima Centauri. 4.2 light years from Earth, and Chi-You is trapped again.] [But this time, it's different.] [This time, he can feel the presence of his family. Distant, but unmistakable... And he will find his way back to them, eventually.] [He is immortal. He knows how to be patient.] |