Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.
- Ghostbusters crossovers
[Then they mysteriously disappeared.]
[For a time, they inspired myth and legend... But ultimately faded from memory.]
[Lost to history and believed by most to have never really existed at all...]
[...Never to return again.]
[But, really, what does "never" mean to an immortal?]
Chi-You "Ah, Kitsune. I should have realized my magic would not hide my presence from you, sister."
Kitsune "Indeed. To what do I owe the honor of this visit?"
Chi-You "This. I could sense its power, even an ocean away."
Kitsune "And so you came straightaway to pry into my affairs?"
Chi-You "I would be certain you are not breaking the agreement."
Kitsune "Oh, my dear brother, it's been so long, I'd almost forgotten how much of a slave you can be to your little rules."
Krang "What is this?"
Krang "You've brought someone with you. This was not part of our deal."
Kitsune "No, my lord, I did not bring him. I—"
Chi-You "You conspire with demons! A clear breach of the rules!"
Chi-You "You were to only use mortals as pawns, sister! You forfeit your place in the game... And your soul!"
Kitsune "Temper, temper, Chi-You. I am still playing to the spirit of the rules, if not to the exact letter."
Kitsune "And still you seem set on punishing me. Pity you aren't fast enough to do so."
Chi-You "You can't dodge forever."
Kitsune "We're immortal, dear brother. Of course I could."
Kitsune "But you're right."
Kitsune "That would get boring."
Krang "If you're done wasting my time..."
Kitsune "Of course, my lord. I apologize for the interruption. Shall we conclude our business before my brother returns?"
Krang "I wouldn't worry about that."
Krang "There are safeguards on this portal to prevent unwanted incursion. He won't be able to enter my world... Nor will he be able to simply turn back."
Krang "At best he has been destroyed. At worst, irretrievably lost and aware of every second. A hellish, eternal limbo."
Krang "Something to keep in mind."
Kitsune "It sounds as though you don't trust me."
Krang "I have no use for trust—I have use for land. Have you cleared the humans from the area we discussed?"
Kitsune "Of course. All is going according to plan."
[A few hundred years later... At the laboratory of Harold Lillja.]
Raphael "This is what you've been working on with April and Harold?"
Raph "What's it supposed to do? Go ding?"
Donatello "Very funny, Raph."
Donnie "These are the schematics for the Fugitoid's interspatial teleportation unit I've been talking about. We've been tinkering with it and... Well, I think we got the bugs worked out."
Casey Jones "You made a teleporting thing?"
Raph "And you "think" you got the bugs worked out?"
Harold Lillja "What you lot so crudely describe as bugs, I call "known discrepancies." All easily overcome when you possess the necessary genius."
Donnie "Well, I don't know about easily, Harold..."
Harold "Perhaps a demonstration is in order."
Casey "Bet the fruit blows up."
Donnie "I'll take that bet, Casey! Ready, April?"
April O'Neil "Yep. Power on. Levels steady. Coordinates locked."
Harold "Bombs away."
Casey "Ow! Hey!"
Donnie "I'd call that a successful test."
Harold "Of course."
Leonardo "That's cute, Don, but did you really need us all here for that?"
Donnie "Truth is, Leo, I asked you guys here to help me give this baby a real shakedown."
Raph "You want us to use this thing?"
Donnie "It's perfectly safe—I've used it myself. Teleported to the parking lot and back, no problems."
Donnie "I figure just a quick trip to the lair to surprise Master Splinter..."
April "Well, guys, shall we?"
Raph "We seriously goin' through with this?"
Michelangelo "When in Rome, I guess."
Harold "The coordinates you set are locked. Field generating..."
Harold "—Get away, you infernal insect—"
Casey "Uh, dude, I seen this movie before. It don't end so good."
DO NOT TOUCH!
Harold "I've got you now!"
Donnie "Surprise, Master Splinter, we—"
Harold "Er... Uh-oh."
Splinter "Is someone there? Hm."
Splinter "Perhaps the television has been left on again."
Ray Stantz "Heads up!"
Ray "Oops! Missed him!"
Peter Venkman "S'okay, Ray. The window looked threatening."
Winston Zeddemore "C'mon, guys. Stay focused."
Egon Spengler "Winston's right. This one has been far too aggressive. We need to be careful."
Winston "Egon! Duck!"
Winston "Got him!"
Winston "Quick, Ray, throw up some support before it gets loose!"
Ray "My pleasure!"
Peter "Egon, you just gonna lay there?"
Egon "I'm collecting data."
Peter "Y'know, I bet Al Kinsey had the same answer to that question."
Peter "And that's a wrap, boys!"
Peter "Someone held Egon up, huh? He looks like some kind of weird turtle, laying on his pack like that."
Peter "Figure that one was worth at least an extra two grand service charge."
Ray "I don't like it when they get so difficult."
Peter "Good point. Three grand it is."
Ray "You know what I mean. Any class-five haunting this difficult to shut down typically means either a dimensional breach or class-seven on the horizon."
Peter "Relax, Ray. One tough case is not a sign."
Peter " 'Sides, you and Egon built a big, expensive toy to warn us if bad vibes were in the air, right? And it hasn't gone ding, so I think we're in the clear."
Winston "Go for Ecto."
Janine >Pchhht—You guys remember that thing Ray and Egon built?<
Ray "Speak of the devil, Venkman..."
Winston "We remember. What's up? It catch fire or something?"
Janine "Not the way you're thinking. What was this thing supposed to find again?"
Winston >Ray says "fallout from a dimensional breach."<
Kylie "Tell the guys I can confirm a potential class-seven on the Eastside."
Janine "Kylie says a "big ping." Could be nothing, could be something."
Kylie "That's so not what I said."
Winston "Got it. We'll head in that direction and see what we can pick up. Ecto out."
Winston "And by the way, Venkman? If we find anything nasty out there, I'm blaming you."
April "I hate to tell you, Donnie, but I think your calculations were off."
Raph "What she said. The heck'd you send us?"
Donnie "Right where I meant to! This GPS confirms the coordinates are correct! I set them to send us to the abandoned church!"
Mikey "Well, I'd check the batteries on that thing, bro—"
Mikey "—Because this place doesn't look like home to me."
"What's this? Turtle costumes?"
"No one told me there would be a performance."
"Lucy always was a little weird. Figures she'd go non-traditional."
"Say—is it getting cold in here?"
Chi-You "<I am finally free!>"
Lucy "Is that a freaking ghost?!? I was told this was a ghost-free venue! We paid PCOC* extra for that!"
Lucy "I demand that you fix this!"
Priest "Whaddaya want me to do, exorcise it? For that, we charge extra."
Chi-You "<Free. After so long. At last able to exact my revenge on my... Wait.>"
Chi-You "<I cannot sense Kitsune's presence.>"
Chi-You "<I cannot sense any of my brethren.>"
Chi-You "<What new hell is this?!?>"
SHRAKK ASHIK OWWW
Chi-You "<And what has happened to me? I feel different... Changed... More powerful...>"
Casey "Why did we not do the ninja thing and disappear out of here already?"
Leo "Two reasons. First: I recognize the statuary and the windows. This is our church... But I don't think we time-shifted like before. I think we're in a different dimension. We've got nowhere to disappear to."
Leo "Second, we can't just let that... Thing run amok. We're honor-bound to help these people."
Leo "Mikey, do you have any idea what the floating guy is yelling about?"
Mikey "Beats me, dude. Whatever it is he's speaking, it's not Japanese."
Raph "Oh, for—"
Raph "—How 'bout we take care of this guy instead of standin' around, debatin'?"
Raph "Heads up, flattop!"
Chi-You "<Ehh? A demon?>"
Raph "What the—"
Chi-You "<More demons! Not like the one conspiring with my sister. Perhaps minions, come to recapture me?>"
Mikey "I don't like how he's looking at us, Leo."
Leo "Hold your ground."
Chi-You "<Have I not been held prisoner for long enough?>"
Chi-You "<You will not have me again! Taste my newfound power!>"
Leo "Okay, I stand corrected. Don't hold your ground!"
Donnie "What? —Oh!"
Mikey "Okay, so we're gonna play decoy until the rest of these people are gone and then we're gonna run away, right? I mean, we can't fight a ghost."
Donnie "It's not a ghost."
Donnie "That's categorically impossible!"
Donnie "It's probably some kind of a... A..."
Raph "A "known discrepancy?" "
Donnie "A glitch!"
Chi-You "<I will use this new power—>"
Chi-You "<—And I will end you!>"
Mikey "Is he—"
Raph "Oh, man... Case."
Donnie "No, wait! Look..."
Donnie "...He's okay!"
Casey (Chi-You) "No..."
Casey (Chi-You) "...I'm better than that."
Casey (Chi-You) "My power... I can control these mortals like puppets. Their bodies... Their minds... They belong forevermore to Chi-You."
Mikey "I bet this Chi-You guy learned how to speak English from Casey."
Casey (Chi-You) "I now know that you turtles—you mutants—aren't responsible for my imprisonment... But I also know you would try to stop me from taking my rightful place as ruler of this world."
Casey (Chi-You) "So I will use these mortals to tear the flesh from your bones here and now, and save you years of frustration."
Donnie "Everybody, get ready."
Mikey "I don't want to fight these people, Leo..."
Raph "Yeah, if I gotta beat up somebody's grandma, it's gonna ruin my day—"
Raph "—Even if she's got a better form than Mikey."
Leo "No jokes, Raph. Incapacitate and restrain everyone—especially Casey—until we can sort out how to—"
Ray "Thermal imaging worked like a charm. Looks like nobody was hurt when we blew that wall."
Peter "Good, we don't need another lawsuit."
Peter "That's right, Mr. Spooky! You can lock the doors, but you can't lock the walls! The Ghostbusters are here!"
Peter "And apparently so are some kinda kung fu martians."
Peter "God, sometimes I hate this job..."
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