Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

Tang Shen "Oh, my precious, precious children..."

Shen "...It has been far too long."

Ray Stantz "That's their mother?"

Page 2

Winston Zeddemore "Yeah, man. Tang Shen."

Winston "She was killed hundreds of years back by an enemy of their old man's."

Winston "Dude called Shredder."

Ray "And you know this because...?"

Winston "There's been a little bleed-through from this stupid hardware you and Egon cooked up, and it better not give me any brain disease, man."

Ray "Bleed-through? That is so neat!"

Peter Venkman "But not a word about the potential encephalopathy, huh, Ray?"

Ray "Peter. He'll be fine. I'm... Almost totally sure. Right now, I'm more interested in their mother."

Ray "If her spirit could hijack the mechanics of a randomized trans-dimensional portal in order to call us all here, she must be an entity of extreme power. I gotta get readings on everything."

Ray "I wonder if she'd let me take a clipping from the garden to study its composition?"


Ray "Hey!"

Winston "C'mon, man. That's disrespectful."

Peter "Yeah, Ray. We expect that kinda blunt data chasing from Egon, but I always thought you had a little more class."

Ray "No one asked you, Venkman."

Peter "That's the beauty of a convenient service, Ray—no one had to."

Page 3

Leonardo "It's so good to see you again, Mother. I didn't think... I mean—"

Shen "Please, my sons, rise. Such formality is not needed here."

Michelangelo "Mom... You're, like, totally an angel."

Raphael "Yeah. Are we... Are we in heaven or somethin'?"

Shen "In this moment, my son, I think that we must be."

Donatello "I... When I saw you before, in this garden, I thought it was a dream, Mother."

Donnie "But now, with everything that's happened, with everyone here, I..."

Donnie "...I know I was wrong."

Leo "Yeah. Me, too."

Shen "You were not so wrong, my sons. Life, after all, is an illusion... A dream."

Shen "Should this beautiful garden be any different?"

Shen "I have missed you all so much, but I have been watching."

Shen "And I could not let the opportunity pass to visit with you while you are in this realm."

Page 4

Shen "My littlest of all, whose immense heart beats with such boundless love."

Shen "Your joyous light is a treasure to be cherished by all who know you, child."

Shen "My clever boy, whose remarkable intellect is matched only by his astounding bravery."

Shen "The answers you seek are closer than you realize, my son—it is merely the proper questions that elude you for now."

Shen "My strong fighter, who conceals a delicate soul beneath such a steely exterior."

Shen "I promise you, my beloved child—you were never truly alone... Nor shall you ever be."

Shen "And my eldest... Honorable warrior, loyal brother, and cherished son."

Shen "Never forget, young master—he will be victorious who knows when to fight and when not to."

Page 5

Shen "And you. You have all done much for my sons."

Shen "You have touched their very souls, and—"

Ray "I think your spectral senses may be misinterpreting a connection formed by way of this technology, ma'am, which is really just our way of masking Donatello's mental engrams with a minimum of—"

Ray "—Um..."

Peter "Hah! She shut him up with a look!"

Peter "If you ever want a job doing that full time, lady, you call me."

Shen "Your science is not what I meant."

Shen "Nor do I mean the battle in which you shared control of your body with my son's."

Ray "You saw that?"

Shen "It is as I said—I am always watching over my children."

Page 6

Shen "You have all been loyal friends and worthy examples of character to my children when they needed it the most."

Shen "I thank you."

Peter "Hey, you're welcome, lady."

Peter "And may I say, this whole Mikado thing you've got going on really works for—"

Peter "Ahem."

Ray "Guess she didn't like your tone."

Peter "Can it, Ray."

Shen "Your friends' trickery will not hide you for very much longer, my sons."

Shen "Your enemy is closing in fast."

Shen "I wish I could protect you... I wish I could do anything."

Shen "Alas, this time I can only offer you my love."

Page 7

Mikey "We'll take it!"

Shen "Oh, my sweet baby boy."

Shen "I must depart now, my sons."

Shen "Until we meet again, know that you have all made me very proud."

Shen "Please, give your father my love as well..."

Shen "...And never lose sight of his love for you."

Peter "Um... Yeah... Okay, gang, let's get out of here. If those things are coming, I'd like to deal with them on our own turf."

Peter " 'Sides, it looks like Momma's landscaping is starting to get all misty."

Peter "And so is Ray. He hates these tearful goodbyes."

Page 8

Peter "All right, everybody—last stop, Lower Manhattan."

Peter "Don't mind the smell."

Mikey "Bye, Mom."


Page 9

Janine Melnitz "Oh, look, he's finally back!"

Janine "Is everything okay?"

Mikey "Janine! Yeah—I'm okay."

Mikey "Did they tell you? We totally got to see our mom!"

Janine "Oh, and I want to hear all about it."

Donnie "I'm afraid that'll have to wait, Janine."

Donnie "We still have a problem to take care of."

Donnie "But at least, now..."

Donnie "...We're done running."

Mikey "Whoa... Cool!"

Donnie "Now, let me tell you what the plan is..."

Page 10

[Central Park, a short time later...]



Green Darius Dun/Collector "We're free!"

Yellow Darius "And back in New York!"

Red Darius "But not our New York. Still, those damned turtles are here."

Blue Darius "We can sense them..."


Yellow Darius "Eh?"

Peter "Good deduction, boys. On the money."

Peter "Say, y'know, you four look different. Did you do something with your hair?"

Blue Darius "We know you. The Collectors knew you... Peter Venkman."

Peter "Y'know, they say fame is a burdon, but I never have to introduce myself."

Page 11

Peter "So, hey—I just wanted to pop on by and give you all the chance to leave on your own."

Peter "By the way, is it weird that we knew you were gonna show up in Central Park? I think it's weird. But Egon got out his calculator and said blah blah blah math, odds, manifestation..."

Peter "Anyway, he said you'd be here and we oughta let you know you can still surrender. The alternative is you get taken out..."


Peter "So, y'know, fair warning."

Red, Green & Blue Darii "Bwa-ha-hah-ha-haaa!"

Yello Darius "We'd forgotten you were funny!"

Green Darius "We are Darius Dun, and our unexpected bonding with the Collectors seems to come with conditions."

Green Darius "We have to deal with the turtles first, Dr. Venkman, but then we'll be free to do as we will."

Yello Darius "Yes, we'll end you and your colleagues. And then we'll spread across the dimensions, building an eternal criminal empire like the universe has never seen."

Blue Darius "Darius Dun will reign supreme!"

Peter "Uh-huh. Well, if you want my opinion as a professional..."

Peter "...You are, without a doubt, full-tilt bugnuts."

Page 12

Peter "But, hey, this whole "unexpected bonding" you're talking about is good news, actually—I wasn't really expecting our little chat to take so long."

Peter "Those turtles you're after—you know they're ninjas, right?"

Green Darius "Acutely. Their father's clan is responsible for our murder. What's your point?"

Peter "Well, ninjas do sneaky."

Peter "Duh."

Green Darius "You... You were a distraction."

Leo "Kiyaaaiiii!"

Peter "Who gets a gold star?"

Page 13


Blue Darius "You—You hurt us! How?"

Yellow Darius "No, it doesn't matter. You're here, now."

Red Darius "And we'll crush you."

Green Darius "And then we'll take care of those insufferable fools you've aligned yourselves with!"

Page 14

Red Darius "And we can't forget the Foot Clan—they'll pay for what they've done to us!"

Leo "Uff!"

Raph "Nnnrgg..."

Yellow Darius "But Splinter, he will get it worst of all!"

Yellow Darius "We'll condemn that rat to a living hell without end!"

Green Darius "Revenge will be ours!"

Raph "Hrrk!"

Mikey "Man, do you even know how often we hear that? If I had a punch card, I'd have, like, something for free by now."

Mikey "And, for your information, none of us wanted you killed."

Blue Darius "No excuses!"

Mikey "Dude, that is so... Gross!"

Page 15

Leo "Mikey's right—you might have a legitimate gripe against our father, but we never voted for your execution."

Green Darius "No!"

Leo "But, really, did you leave Father a choice?"

Leo "You could've surrendered, but instead you threatened to slowly kill my brothers and me while he watched!"

Raph "Yeah, if you think about it, you were practically askin' for what happened to you."

Raph "So who's fault's that, huh?"

Green Darius "Irrelevant!"

Green Darius "The Foot tried to bully their way into our business, and we'll show them! With our new power..."

Green Darius >We'll show them all!<

Page 16


Raph "Aahhhh, shaddup!"

Red Darius "Your jury-rigged weaponry is an insult. It can hurt us, but it can't defeat us."

Red Darius "And the more familiar we get with our new forms, the more our power will grow."

Red Darius "And then, your toys won't even be a distraction!"

Red Darius "You're merely prolonging the inevitable!"

Raph "Offa... Me!"

Winston "Starting to sound a little desperate, don't you think?"

Peter "Yep, it's totally our cue."


Red Darius "You fools! You couldn't contain the Collectors with your technology before... And we're the Collectors now!"

Yellow Darius "This won't save your reptilian friends—or you!"

Page 17

Egon Spengler "Those weren't meant to save us. Just hold you fast for a moment."

Ray "By the way, we're happy that your own personal enmity allowed us the time to fine-tune this piece of equipment to more closely match your own unique PKE signature."

Egon "Well, signatures."

Ray "Six of one, Doctor!"



Green Darius "Is there something wrong with you, Ghostbusters?"

Yellow Darius "You must be insane—employing a strategy doomed to fail!"

Page 18

Green Darius "Even if you manage to pull us into your little contraption, we'll free ourselves!"

Green Darius "We'll break out!"

Red Darius "Escape!"

Red Darius "And annihilate you all!"

Ray "You're talking like we're a bunch of rubes who can't learn from our mistakes!"

Egon "This trap isn't drawing you towards a low-power mobile storage unit—it's drawing you towards a miniature dimensional gate. With a pre-chosen destination..."

Egon "...The inside of our containment unit!"

Egon "And that has more than enough power to keep you all incarcerated for the next thousand years, minimum."

Yellow Darius "What?"

Blue Darius "No."

Green Darius "No!"


Page 19

Mikey "Is... Is that it? Is it over?"

Raph "Why didn't somebody tell me it was gonna be that bright?"

Donnie "You didn't have to look right into the trap."

Raph "I wanted to make sure."

Mikey "So we won? Dude! This calls for a cowa"

Raph "No. No one is saying that. Stop trying to make it happen."

Raph "Just stop."

Winston "And none too soon, looks like. That gear is done for."

Leo "It's kind of a shame. I imagine a proton sword would've been a handy backup."

Donnie "I can't believe Leo hasn't already said this, but... We've gotta go home. We've been gone way too long already."

Peter "That's life, kid. You think it's gonna be easy and then you're pelted with curveballs."

Mikey "But what a ride! I kinda want to go back and visit those Ghostbusturtles sometime!"

Raph, Donnie, Leo, Winston & Ray "Ghostbusturtles?!"

Egon "Fascinating."

Page 20

[A short time later...]

Raph "You sure those things are stuck in there, right? After all that runnin' around through space and time crap we hadda do..."

Ray "Don't worry, the same technology that keeps ghosts from just phasing right on out of the containment unit will keep the Collectors—or, uh, Dun—from hopping out, all right."

Ray "The trick was just getting them all in there at once so they didn't have any kind of beacon on the other side."

Ray "I don't know that we ever would have if you four hadn't needed the help."

Leo "Well... I guess this is it. I really wish we could just sit down and talk sometime without godlike beings trying to kill us."

Winston "Par for the course around here. You just remember what I said, hear?"

Winston "We'll see each other again."

Peter "We have to, now. Third time's the charm, as they say. Or the trilogy. And who doesn't love a good trilogy?"

Peter "By the way, kid, this is for you."

Mikey "A Beginner's Guide to Psychology? Dude!"

Peter "Yeah, well... You can pay me back when you figure out how to earn a living."

Donnie "Thanks for everything, Egon. And I'll be sure to throw you a detailed set of data on the Metalhead experiment when I figure out where it all is..."

Egon "I'm actually salivating."

Donnie "Uh, gross."

Janine "Goodbye! Oh! Say hello to April for me!"

Ray "And good luck on the other side!"

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