Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

(Donatello) "I really am amazed at the modifications you and Ray made to the trans-dimensional portal. The capabilities it has now—I hardly reocgnize it as the same technology!"

Raphael "Ray! Hit the button! Hit the button!"

Ray Stantz "It's building up a charge! Wait for it!"

Raph "Wait for it?!"

Ray "Oh, look. Here she is."



(Donnie) "I mean multi-point, multidimensional remote access? Do you know how much trouble that would have saved us recently?"

Page 2

(Egon Spengler) "Well, there are some pronounced drawbacks to the new functionality."



Leonardo "Where are—wait, this place seems... Familiar?"


Winston Zeddemore "Uh-oh. Hang tight, man. We scared up another ghost."

Leo " "Scared up." Was that supposed to be a joke?"

Winston "What? I can be funny."

(Egon) "Our modifications have the unintended side-effect of churning up the psychokinetic energy that is plentiful between dimensions. Opening a breach often pulls ghosts out of the woodwork."


Shibano-Sama "Eeeeee—"


Leo "I didn't think you could blow them up."

Winston "It's only temporary, my man."

Winston "Besides—the number of traps we'd've needed would be too heavy to run with."

(Egon) "Which is why we paired your brothers with my colleagues to begin with."

Page 3

(Egon) "And jumping from dimension to dimension in rapid succession, as they're doing to evade the demons chasing you and your brothers—"

(Egon) "—Well, it's sure to attract even more ghostly attention than usual."

Page 4


Donnie "So you're saying it literally causes a great disturbance in the force?"

Egon "I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

Donnie "Look... I love a good, complicated plan as much as the next guy—"

Donnie "—Well, I mean, if the next guy is Leo—"

Donnie "But you and Ray really seemed to catch on to this trans-dimensional technology."

Donnie "I'm not sure why you needed to go to all this trouble just to get my help."

Egon "Er... You're more familiar with the unmodified technology, which we need to recreate."

Donnie "You didn't lose the notes I left behind, did you?"

Egon "..."

Egon "I'm not going to dignify that with a response either."

Donnie "Egon..."

Page 5


Egon "If it makes you feel any better, I think Ray lost it while I was dead."

Donnie "While you were what now?"

Egon "Hold that thought—it seems the computer has revised its calculations with further data from the dimensional breach alarm. We have even less time than we thought before the Collectors find the others."

Donnie "C'mon, how is it you can even set up an alarm to track something like that across dimensions?"

Egon "I'm very smart."

Donnie "But not smart enough to reverse engineer the original portal design after all your alterations?"

Egon «Touché.»

Egon "My thought is to combine the portal technology with that of our ghost traps in order to send the Collectors directly into the containment unit."

Egon "I can't risk a PKE surge allowing anything to escape, however, and your involvement is the most efficient way to achieve that without days of trial and error."

Donnie "Well, that'll at least be more fun than professional wrestling in Dimension X."

Donnie "Do you have any ideas on how you'll make sure the Collectors can't escape before they get trapped?"

Egon "Not yet. Do you?"

Donnie "You know..."

Donnie "...I think I just might!"

Page 6


Raph "Ahhhhh— Wait, did we make it? That monster's gone?"

Ray "It was never here, you pessimist. This is a totally different dimensional plane."

Ray "But we're going to need a little bit longer to recharge the remote portal access this time."

Ray "I'd be more concerned, but I feel our multiple dimensional hops should have obscured our trail enough to allow a little bit of leeway."

Ray "We should be safe."

Page 7

Raph "Safe, huh? If I had hair on the back of my neck, it'd be standin' up right now. Somethin' ain't right here—chec your meter thing."

Ray "But I'm telling you—"

Raph "Check it."

Ray "Okay, but—"


Ray "Well, would you look at that."

Raph "Yeah. Go figure."

Ray "Your senses must be amazingly well-tuned to your surroundings if you can self-detect changes in the psychokinetic spectrum in such a manner."

Raph "If the next words outta your mouth are about wantin' some kinda brain sample, I'm gonna pop you one."

Ray "No, no—I was thinking maybe just some non-invasive scans..."

Page 8



Ray "Got 'im!"

Ray "Normally I don't consider protonic dispersal a particularly viable solution when it comes to dealing with an infestation of class fives—tends to be more trouble than its worth."

Ray "But considering that we're not actually here to permanently rid the area of any entrenched entities, it makes a lot more sense."

Raph "Don't care."

Ray "They'll reform in a few days, and out here in the middle of nowhere, it'll be just fine!"

Ray "You may be wonder—look out!"


Raph "Gah!"

Ray "As I was saying, you may be wondering why the ghosts we've encountered have been so aggressive and whether that's a universal constant of interdimensional travel that you'd need to be worried about in your own adventures—"

Raph "Not really. Ptui."

Ray "—It's just an unfortunate side-effect of our jury-rigged portal setup."


Raph "I said, I don't care, Ray. I'm sick of portals, and other dimensions, and dealin' with stuff I got no control over."

Raph "I just wanna go home."

Page 9

Ray "There, I think that's all of them."

Ray "You know, you remind me a little of my nephew. Heart on his sleeve, but so worried about so much he just sounded angry all the time."

Ray "My sister asked Peter to talk to him once, as a psychologist."

Ray "Pete wound up with a black eye and"


Ray "Whoooaaah—"

Raph "Ray!"

Ray "Ungh—that isn't going to work. Jump up and try to reach the thrower!"

Raph "There's gotta be another way!"

Ray "Raph, you're pulling my leg, not the other way around!"

Raph "Awright, come on out and show yourself, Casper!"

Raph "I ain't in the mood for games!"

Gjenganger "Too bad."

Raph "What the—"


Page 10


Michelangelo "Dude. What's that smell?"

Peter Venkman "Dunno. Smells like New York to me."

Peter "And it looks like the magic button here needs a little break."

Peter "Well, we'll just take a second to send a little note off to Egon, let him know."

Mikey "Whoa. This thing can seven send messages into other universes?"

Peter "And it's almost as fast as the post office. Egon wanted a way to keep in touch for when he got his mad science done, so we knew when to head home."

Peter "We want people to think we are capable of planning ahead, y'know? We went to college and everything."

Peter "Huh. Well, looks like this is the right place for you to be incognito. You want to do a little sightseeing?"

Mikey "Well, yeah, bro! Let's do it!"

Peter "Hey, not so fast. Seems to me they all got something you don't."

Mikey "You totally sounded like the Wizard of Oz just then, dude."

Mikey "And, hey wait—what don't I have?"

Page 11

Mikey "Oh, man, this is insane! Look at all the mutants!"

Mikey "Wait—they're probably not mutants, right?"

Peter "Probably not."

Mikey "I wish my bros could see this, it's—"


Mikey "Oops!"

Splinter "Ah, no harm done... Wallet's still there."

Splinter "Word of advice? Don't run into people."

Mikey "Sorry..."

Peter "What's up, kid? I haven't seen someone's mood drop this fast since we told Egon they were gonna stop making Twinkies."

Mikey "That guy I bumped into? He looks just like my father. We, um, we had a falling out... All of us."

Mikey "And I just... We haven't been on the best of terms lately, and I really miss having him there for me."

Mikey "I thought I could be tougher about it, but—"

Page 12

Mikey "Dude, I need a hug."

Peter "Kid, I don't really—y'know what? Never mind."

Peter "Let it out."

[A short talk later...]

Peter "So. Your dad's a rat. Makes sense."

Mikey "We're, like, reincarnated people from feudal Japan. And the guy who killed us all back then was resurrected and we fought him and then we won and then Father cut off his head and took over the ninja clan we'd been at war with and I thought the fighting would be over, but..."

Peter "Ho! Take a breath."

Peter "Seeing you all tore up tells me the kind of dad he must've been, and that gives me an idea as to why your switch just got flipped. You had a picture in your head of how the old man was and he stopped resembling it, am I right?"

Peter " 'Course I am."

Peter "Parents are people, kid, and people make mistakes."

Peter "Kids react bad the first time they see it. I'm not saying you'll agree with him, or even forgive him. But eventually, you're gonna understand him."

Mikey "Um, wow. No offense, but I wasn't expecting you to have anything helpful to say."

Peter "Well, you know. I did get a degree in psychology."

Mikey "Did you get it to help people?"

Peter "Not really. Mostly I got it to impress women, or pull a cold read."

Peter "But every once in a while, I accidentally use the training like I'm supposed to."

Page 13

Peter "Y'know, I wasn't even thinking, but I recognize this neighborhood. We're only about a block from where the Firehouse would be, if this is as much a New York as it looks like."

Mikey "I wonder if there are Ghostbusters in this dimension, too?"

"Freeze, demon!"

Rookie "Here! We've found the suspected extra-normal entity!"

Bill Music "It doesn't look like a ghost."

Harold LaMarche "We'll make that determination later. For now—blast it!"

Peter "Say what now?"


Page 14


Winston "Where in the—"

Leo "Uh, Winston..."

Killer Robot "Intruders!"

Killer Robot "Fire!"

Leo "Look out!"


Page 15

Leo "Whoa."

Winston "Yeah."

Killer Robot "Destroy them!"

Winston "Oh, hell no."

Leo "Cover me?"

Winston "Oh, hell yeah."



Page 16

Winston "You have no idea how happy I am to see these things work so well on killer robots."

Winston "I haven't liked them since that one Schwarzenegger movie."

Leo "It looks like it was designed for fighting, all right. In fact, look around—"

Leo "—It looks like we wound up on some kinda battle world."

Winston "You ain't kidding, man."

Winston "We need to find us some cover."

Winston "Like my old first sergeant use to always say, when you're outgunned, discretion is the better part of not getting your backside shot off."

Leo "Yeah. Okay."

Winston "Man, what a mess—"

Page 17

Winston "—Figures I'd end up on some insane war dimension."

Winston "How much you wanna bet Venkman's sipping cocktails on some tropical island with a bunch of multi-dimensional Bond girls right now?"

Leo "This is all my fault."

Winston "For this? C'mon, man—how can you say that?"

Winston "If anything, it's the eggheads and their crazy experiments that keep getting us into these jams."

Leo "Not this tune. Dun's after us because my father had him assassinated."

Winston "Yeah, and...?"

Leo "And I was his chunin, Winston—it means his second-in-command."

Winston "I know what it means. Ray is addicted to kung fu theater. Has it on all the time."

Leo "Then you know it was my job to talk some sense into him. To stop him before things went too far and got out of control."

Leo "Obviously, I failed."

Winston "I served with some great marines back in the day, and I'm here to tell you that I'd match you up to any one of them any day of the week, and you're only a teenager, for God's sake, so that's saying a lot."

Winston "Truth is, we're here because your dad made a questionable strategic decision. Unfortunately, we have to deal with it."

Winston "At the end of the day, if you take on too much of the load, you only end up broken... And then you're no good to anyone. You can't take the whole world on your shoulders, man."

Leo "I just... I just wish it was easier sometimes."

Winston "Don't we all. But right now, things are tough, so we're gonna have to be even toughter."

Winston "Let's just hope the others can fix up the necessary modifications to the portal technology, stat."

Leo "Whoa. That's so weird..."

Page 18

"...You sounded exactly likw Donnie when you said that."

Donnie "Okay, I think we solved it."

Donnie "If we just boost the power by a factor of three on this trapgate, it should make sure the portal into your containment unit is a one-way—"

Donnie "—Ahhrgh!"

Egon "Donatello!"

Donnie "It's fine, man. No need to make a fuss."

Egon "I'm not sure about that. Your speech pattern and inflections are resembling Winston's."

Egon "When we decided to use this experimental mental communications device to make your presence in this dimension, I suspected the possibility of neural confusion."

Egon "I just thought we'd have more time."

Donnie "You couldn't warn a guy? Feels like my soul is in two places at once again..."

Egon "If I adjust the sensitivity to compensate for—"

Egon "Wait, "again"?"

Egon "Oops."

Page 19

Donnie "Wuhh—?"

Page 20

Janine Melnitz "Egon? We got a delivery from Kung Fu Hustle Supply Empori—"

Janine "—Oh!"

Egon "This wasn't completely my fault."

Donnie "Don't listen to him, Janine..."

Donnie "...I'm fine."

Egon "Are you sure? You look a little peaked... Well, for a green man."

Donnie "No, really, I'm fine."

Janine "Maybe you should sit down for a bit..."

Donnie "There's no time! That zap I just took from this thing... It was like my brainw as everywhere at once! I could feel the Collectors looking for us, man, we gotta buckle down!"

Egon "You're sounding like Winston again. I have concerns."

Donnie "No time for concerns, Egon. We have too much to do. Trapgate'll be a snap—but we'll still need to be able to fight. That's where this stuff comes in."

Donnie "We're gonna build a proton-powered ninja arsenal, and those demons'll never know what hit 'em."

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.