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 HEY, KID, YOU'RE 
 A LONG WAY 
 FROM NICKTOONS! 

Some TMNT stuff was always meant for grownups.

Page 1

Raphael "Kiss your butt goodbye!"


Page 2 & 3

HISTORY OF GAMES





JANSON'S ART HISTORY


THE WORLD ENCYCLOPEDIA OF CARTOONS

CARE AND KEEPING OF YOUR TURTLE






6TUPID WARS

Leonardo "Hey! C'mon, you guys... Cut it out! Splinter can't hear the T.V. with you sparring in the same room!"

Raph "Yaah!"

Donatello "Don't bother, Leonardo... When Raphael gets this way, you just have to wait 'til he wears himself out!"

Page 4

Don "...And Michaelangelo's almost as bad!"

CRASH!

Hamato Splinter "Hmm, very bad..."

Leo "What is?"

Splinter "This news program... Listen, Leonardo..."

Hynes >So, Dr. Baxter Stockman, you believe that this little... Thing will solve the city's rodent problem?<

Baxter Stockman >This "little thing", Mr. Hynes, is a fully operational rodent hunter/seek/killer... We like to refer to it as a "Mouser"!<

Baxter >As you can see, we have constructed this maze to simulate the conditions under which the Mouser will operate.<

Page 5

Baxter >Now my assistant April will release five rats into the maze...<

Baxter >...Ten seconds later I activate and release this one Mouser at the same spot.<

Baxter >The Mouser unit is not in itself a very intelligent machine...<

Baxter >Its internal programming chip is dedicated to control of...<

Baxter >...Motive functioning. A larger central "mother"..<

Baxter >...Computer coordinates all search and retrieval functions...<

Baxter >...And when its work is done, or when its storage capacity of five average-sized rats is filled, each Mouser unit returns to a preassigned "drop" point directed by a remote "mother" unit.<

Page 6

Hynes >Well Dr. Stockman, this Mouser certainly made short work of those five rats... Just under three minutes.<

Baxter >Yes, Ms. Hynes, April and I are quite confident that the city will fully recoup its investment in my project...with the total eradication of...<

Baxter >The rat problem!<

KRASH!

PROGRAMMING IN BASIC

Michelangelo "Yaah!"

Leo or Don "Oh, no..."

Raph "Hah!"

Page 7

SMASH!!!

Leo "Oh no, not another piece of furniture?"

Splinter "Sigh..."

Leo "Master, what about this Dr. Stockman's Mouser?"

Splinter "We must be more cautious from now on, for one thing. Hmm... Let me think on this a bit!"

Splinter "I am going to meditate. Oh, and Raphael..."

Splinter "...Help Michaelangelo clean up this mess!"

[Several weeks pass... Many rats are caught by Dr. Stockman's "Mousers"... But the city also experiences a rash of bizarre bank robberies.]

April O'Neil "Listen to this Baxter..."

THE DAILY LUMP!

April "...It says that the police were battled by these bank heists..."

April "...They can't figure out how the vaults were tunneled into so swiftly and neatly, through concrete and steel!"

April "The tunnels were so narrow only a child could have crawled through them!"

Baxter "...Or a very small adult. April, why are you boring me with this?"

April "Well, it's just that I've been thinking..."

Baxter "Yes?"

April "The Mouser unit... They could have dug tunnels like that, easily..."

Baxter "Oh, come now April... Why would the Mousers dig holes in bank vaults? You helped program them, remember?"

Page 8

April "But what if someone else has gotten control of a couple Mousers, and reprogramed them?"

Baxter "Really April... The mother computer would know if that happened, and would tell me!"

April "I...I suppose you're right, Baxter...still, I..."

Baxter "April, I assure you that no one else has control over the Mousers except you and I."

Baxter "Come on... I have something to show you."

April "I've seen the elevator before..."

Baxter "Ha, ha, ha! No, this is different."

April "What's that, Baxter?"

Baxter "You'll see!"

April "Hey, what's going on!?"

Baxter "Shhh..."

Page 9

* B 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

April "Baxter, what's happening? We've just passed the ground floor and basement, ...How can we go down any further?"

Baxter "Shhhh! It's O.K. Just be quiet..."

April "And this?"

Baxter "Security check."

April "Security check! What for..."

April "Good Lord."

Page 10

TIC TIC CHIT

April "Where did you get all these Mousers? The city only gave us enough funds for two dozen...!"

Baxter "...And there are more than two hundred in this room! Still more are being assembled as we speak!"

April "But Baxter, how did you get the money..."

April "Oh, no...!"

Baxter "Very good, April, very perceptive. I would have been disappointed at anything less."

Baxter "Yes, those recent baffling bank robberies are my doing!"

Baxter "With the aid of my Mousers, I have already stolen over $900,000!"

Baxter "Of course, that is only the beginning. At this moment, hundreds of Mousers are tunneling throughout the city, undermining and weakening the foundations of certain large and important buildings!"

Baxter "When they are nearly done, I'll hold the city for ransom... And if I'm refused, I will order my Mousers to finish the excavation... And those buildings will fall!"

April "But--why?"

April "Why, Baxter? You could make millions legally!"

Page 11

Baxter "You're quite right, April... The money is only an incidental..... A by-product."

Baxter "I'm really doing it because it's fun!! Hah, hah, ha hah!"

April "I don't believe what I'm hearing! This just isn't the Dr. Stockman I've worked with all this time!"

Baxter "Ha, ha, ha hah, hah!"

April (He's in his own world right now... I'd better make a run for it while I can!)

Baxter "Well if you want to be that way, then go! I don't need you!"

Baxter "I don't need anyone except my Mousers!"

Baxter "I suppose you're going to rush off and tell the police about me and my plan..."

Baxter "Sigh... One must do what one must do, I guess."

Page 12

April (Oh, wait... I need that I.D. card to work the elevator...)

April "Baxter, wait!"

SLAM!

April "Noooo!"

Baxter >Sorry April...<

Baxter "You must realize I won't... Can't... Help you turn me in..."

Baxter "So I'm making it a little more difficult for you to leave, but not impossible. Watch your step!"

Baxter >Ha, ha, ha!<

Baxter >Dramatic huh? Sorry about the...<

Baxter >...Mucky water, but it collects there after it rains!<

Baxter >At least it isn't over your head!<

April "Baxter you slime puppy!"

Page 13

April "Well I'm not going to stay here in this foul smelling hole, and this tunnel looks like the only way out!"

April "Yuck! I hope this tunnel ends soon..."

April "Hmm... It looks like it opens into a larger tunnel up ahead!"

April >Now where do I go from here?<

Baxter "It really doesn't matter"

Baxter "Tricking you into the stormdrain tunnels has given me the time to program your imminent demise..."

Baxter "Hmm... How many should I send after her?"

Baxter "Three? Five? Ten, maybe? No... Three will be plenty!"

Baxter "Ha, ha, ha! What delightful irony! Slain by the very technological marvels which her computer skills made possible!"

Page 14

"I've given them enough data to track her down..."

"...Her side, scent, her voice print... Goodbye April!"

HA HA HAH HAH

[Meanwhile...]

April "It's so dark and creepy in here!"

April "I hope I find a ladder soon!"

April "Eh?"

April "What's that noise?!"

April "Oh, no...!"

April "The Mousers!!! That twisted Baxter! He's trying to kill me!!!"

April "Got to run!"

Page 15

April "Gotta get away from them!"

Page 16

WHAK!

SPTANG!

CHTAK!

Page 17

Page 18

April "I can't..."

April "Deal with..."

April "Thissss✺"

[Later...]

Not Mike "...Fainted, Splinter. Then we carried her, and the remains of those three "Mousers", back here!"

Splinter "Hmmm... I suppose your unexpected appearance was quite a shock to her system."

Splinter "Of course, being chased through dark tunnels by a pack of blood thirsty robots probably didn't help..."

Same Turtle "She's waking up!"

April "Ohhh..."

April "Ohh!! So... ...So... You are real! I wasn't imagining you! Where am I?"

Splinter "You are safe, young woman..."

Page 19

Splinter "...Safe in our home."

April "Wh...Who...?"

Splinter "My name is Splinter, and yes, I am a rat. I am also the teacher of these turtles who rescued you..."

Splinter "...Leonardo..."

Splinter "...Donatello..."

Splinter "...And Raphael!"

Splinter "There is also Michaelangelo, who was here at home."

Mike "Hi!"

April "Well... Thank you all for saving me from those robots. Uh... Just what are you, and where did you come from, if you don't mind me asking...?"

Splinter "Not at all! Ours is a long story, though..."

[For the origin story of Splinter and the turtles...]

[...See issue #1 of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.]

[One hour later...]

April "What a fantastic story!"

Page 20

April "Now that you've avenged your master and defeated the Shredder... What will you do? What purpose will inspire your lives now?"

Splinter "That is a very good question, April. It depends mostly on what my students..."

Turtle "Master Splinter! Come quick... There's something on the T.V. you should see!"

Reporter >...Police and fire departments have evacuated the building...<

Reporter >...And cleared the area around it, in case the building in fact does fall, as the mysterious terrorist has threatened.<

Reporter >Here again is the video-taped "random" note delivered to City Hall just one hour ago:<

(Baxter) >Greetings citizens of New York.<

(Baxter) >Who I am is not important...<

(Baxter) >...Well, not as important as what I am prepared to do!<

April "My God... That's Baxter!"

(Baxter) >I intend to extort one billion dollars from the major business of New York City!
How do I intend to do this, you say?
<

(Baxter) >Simple! By systematically holding hostage every corporate headquarters building in this city!<

(Baxter) >If I am not paid the random I set for each building I pick, then one by one I will demolish them! The air will shudder with the sounds of tortured, twisted steel, shattering glass, and exploding stone!<

Page 21

(Baxter) >Now just to show that I am not jesting... And to show that I'm not a cheap kind of guy... I'm going to give you a freebie!<

(Baxter) >I have in my hand a small model of the Rextab Building...<

(Baxter) >...Its real life conterpart in downtown Manhattan (vacant except for a few small offices since the previous owners vanished mysteriously) will cease to exist at 3:00 PM today!<

CRUNCH!

(Baxter) >...And tomorrow, at 3:00 PM...<

(Baxter) >One of the World Trade Center towers will topple...
...Unless I am paid 20 million dollars!
<

Reporter >The unidentified terrorist then went on to describe a complex arrangement for delivery of the ransom money.<

Reporter >However, it has not been determined if this threat is for real or merely part of an elaborate hoax; as you can see it is not 3:03 PM and the Rextab Building is still standing.<

Page 22

Reporter >So I guess this will wrap it... Huh?<

Reporter >Good Lord!<

Reporter >{Choke}<

April "Oh my God... Baxter... Nooo!"

Turtle "Jonin Splinter... This man is mad! He must be stopped!"

April "{Sob}"

Splinter "April... Do you think you can find your way back to Baxter's secret lab?"

April "I... I... Think... ...So..."

"Then go with her, my ninja... And use your every skill to quench this madness!"

Page 23

[Later...]

Baxter "Marvelous...!"

Baxter "This is great!"

Baxter "I think I'll run those tapes again!"

CREAK!

Leo "Your reign of terror has ended, Stockman!"

Baxter "Eh?"

Page 24

Baxter "W--What! Who are you?"

Baxter "H--How did you get in here?"

April "They came with me, Baxter..."

April "...To help stop your schemes!"

Baxter "April! You're still alive!"

Leo "Don't move another inch, bucko!"

Raph "No thanks to you, creep! Your Mousers would have killed her if not for us!"

April "Now, let's see... I'm sure I can figure out how to shut this system down..."

Baxter "Nooo..."

Page 25

Baxter "No! I won't let you ruin my beautiful plan!"

CRAK!

Mike "Ow!"

Baxter "Get out of my way!"

Leo "Oof!"

Baxter "Hah! You'll never stop me now!"

CLAK!

Leo "Got you!!!"

Baxter "Arr... Too late, freak! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,! I've locked in the self destruct program!"

Baxter "Ha, ha, ha, ha! You'll all die now!"

Leo "Shut up, fool!"

Baxter "Now the Mousers will follow a new program... They'll come back here and won't stop eating until they've destroyed everything in this whole room... Including you!!!"

Baxter "Ha ha ha ha ha--!"

Leo "Raphael, shut this looney up!"

SMAK

Page 26

Leo "Nice work, Raphael!"

Raph "My pleasure!"

Leo "April... Is what Stockman said true?"

April "It--It must be, Leonardo... None of these controls are responding!"

April "We're in trouble!"

Leo "Is there a way out other than the tunnel?"

April "The elevator!"

Leo "What's it look like, Michaelangelo?"

Mike "It's--ungh...!--Jammed."

Page 27

Mike "I'll try this--ugh!"

CR-EAK!

RUMBLE!

POP

Mike "Yow!"

Mike "The whole shaft is jammed with rocks! Another bit of Stockman's blasted plan!"

April "Oh my God... We're trapped! There's nothing we can do!!!"

Don "Wait a minute, April! I'm familiar with some computer systems... And you helped program the Mousers. Maybe we can do something to cancel this destruct program!"

April "I suppose it's possible, Donatello..."

'April "...But it would take time--and those Mousers will be here soon!"

Leo "I've got a plan that might delay them April!"

Leo "If Baxter kept any explosives here..."

Page 28

Raph "Hey, Leo... I think I've got what you need here!"

Raph "Plastic explosives... Looks like Baxter was covering all the bases!"

Leo "Great, Raphael--these little babies should buy us some time! Open the doors to the tunnels!"

SNIK

Raph "What? Are you crazy!"

Leo "Do it!"

Mike "I think I know what his plan is, Raphael..."

Mike "You're going to blow the tunnel, right?"

Leo "You got it!"

Leo "Put them here... About 30 yards from the lab! When these supports go, the tunnel will collapse at this point... That should slow them down a little!"

Mike or Raph "There... All done!"

Raph or Mike "O.K. ... Light 'em up!"

CHIT SCRATCH TIC TIC CHITTER SCR

Leo "Ut-oh..."

Page 29

TIC TIC CHITTER CHIT SCPATC CHITTER CHIT CHIT

Leo "Mousers! Here they come! Get ready..."

Raph or Mike "Light 'em!"

YAAAAA

CHI SCRATCH CHIT CHIT CHITTER TIC TIC TIC CHIT

Mike "They're all lit... Let's go. Go!"

Page 30

BLAM

Leo "Everybody O.K.?"

Mike or Raph "Muff..."

Raph or Mike "My ears hurt..."

Leo "Seems like we bought ourselves some breathing space!"

Mike "I'll check to see how April and Donatello are doing back in the lab!!!"

Raph "{Cough} {Cough}"

Don "Damn! That didn't work!"

April "Try this--!"

Mike "How's it going?"

April "Not so good!"

Page 31

Leo or Raph "Michaelangelo... Come quick! They're almost through the rubble!"

Mike "Nooo!!!"

Don "Baxter's sick, but quite brilliant! His fail-safes included an electrical overlord that burned out a lot of these circuits...!"

April "I know--it's frustrating! How about whipping up a quick "virus" program that would "infect" the system, and "kill" it!"

Leo or Raph "There's one!"

Mike "I've got it!"

Leo or Raph "There!"

Leo or Raph "Two more...!"

Page 32

Don "No good! Not enough time... It would take days to write a virus program... We've got minutes!"

April "Blast!"

Leo "Robots make my skin crawl!"

Don "Wait a minute! How are the Mousers controlled... By radio?"

April "Why, yes- The computer's instructions are beamed to each unit's radio receiver!"

Don "If we can some how shut down all the power, the transmitter here will stop broadcasting the computers' orders to the Mousers!"

April "Assuming of course that the transmitter is part of this system!"

April "We've got to try it!"

Page 33

Don "Wait...! I think I have something here!"

April "It looks like an emergency shut down program!"

April "It might work!"

Page 34 & 35

Page 36

Leo "There are too many, coming too fast!"

Leo "Michaelangelo, Raphael--!"

Leo "Fall back to the lab... Run!"

April "Oh no... This program is set to shut the power off starting with the least essential systems!"

Don "You mean..."

April "Yes! The Mousers' radio transmitter will be the last to shut down!"

CHIT CHIT CHIT C

Leo "Donatello!!! On my command..."

Leo "Close the tunnel doors!"

CHIT

Leo "Close those suckers..."

Leo "...Now!"

Raph "No good, Leonardo..."

TIC TIC TIC CHIT SCRATCH CHIT CHIT CHIT T

Raph "They're already starting to come through the walls!"

Don "The program is working... But... But... Just not fast enough!"

April "It... It... Has to be!"

Page 37

Leo "Turtles--die with honor!!!"

Don "Come on--!"

April "Go, go, go--!"

TIC TIC CRASH SMASH CHIT CHITTER BLANG CHIT ZURROOUUNNNN CHIT CHITTER CHITTER CRASH TIC TIC CHIT

HAI THUMP BANG CHITTER CHIT CHITTER CRASH TINKLE TINKLE! CHIT TIC TIC

CHIT SLASH THUMP THU-WACK CHIT CHITTER

Leo "Hey..."

Page 38

Leo "I guess it worked!"

END

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