[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Pan down from the city to the Turtle Lair. Leonardo is working on the television while the other Turtles wait on the couch.]
Leonardo "Darn TV, it never works when you need it."
Donatello "Hey, I offered to fix it, but Leonardo insists on doing it himself."
Raphael "That's our fearless leader for you."
Leonardo "I can do it, I tell you. All I have to do is twist this knob and-- Whoa!
I can't understand it. I had the right knob."
[Electricity sparks and then there is an explosion.]
I can't understand it. I had the right knob."
Splinter "But you did not have the right attitude. The true ninja spirit must be applied to all tasks, even repairing a television set."
[He adjusts the antennae with one finger and the picture comes in clear with an April O’Neil doing an onsite report.]
April O'Neil "We're here at the Japanese embassy, talking with Ambassador Murishima, who is hosting this exhibition of historic artifacts.
Can you tell us about them, Ambassador?"
Ambassador Murishima "Gladly, Ms. O'Neil. The most priceless object in the entire collection is this ancient, legendary weapon."
Splinter "The Sword of Yurikawa."
Donatello "You recognize it, Sensei?"
Splinter "How could I not? It once belonged to my own ninja master. The Sword of Yurikawa has the amazing power of transformation, always changing, yet always the same."
Michelangelo "Whoa! Time out. If something changes, then how can it, like, stay the same?"
Donatello "Forget it, Michelangelo. It's too deep for you."
Raphael "A kiddie's wading pool is too deep for him."
Splinter "If such a weapon should fall into the wrong hands, it could have dire consequences. My students, you must go at once to guard it."
Michelangelo "Aw, come on, Sensei. Couldn't we wait until after dinner? We're about to chow down."
Raphael "Yeah. Besides, I'm sure the embassy has their own people to guard the sword."
Splinter "It is obvious you Turtles do not have the true ninja spirit."
Leonardo "[sighs] Master Splinter is right. We don't have the true ninja spirit. Now let's go show them what we're made of."
[Grumbling, the Turtles leave the lair. Deep beneath the ocean, in the Technodrome. . .]
Krang "Observe, Shredder, as I demonstrate my latest brilliant invention, the Mindbender Ray.
Lean to the left. Lean to the right. Stand up, sit down, fight, fight, fight."
[He activates the ray, which strikes Bebop and Rocksteady. Krang then gives them orders, which they obey.]
Lean to the left. Lean to the right. Stand up, sit down, fight, fight, fight."
[The pair start punching each other.]
Rocksteady "Take that!"
Bebop "There you go—"
Rocksteady "Ooh!"
Krang "You see, Shredder? Total obedience. My mind bender gives me complete power over any mutant-like forms with level Z brainwaves."
Shredder "Big deal. So you can control anyone dumber than mud."
Rocksteady "Hey, we're as smart as mud any day."
Bebop "Yeah, maybe even smarter."
Krang "Observe how I intend putting it to use."
[He pulls up an image on the view screen.]
Shredder "The Tri-State Bridge."
Krang "Yes. Tomorrow, a truck convoy carrying a rare form of toxic waste is scheduled to drive across it. By blowing up the bridge just at the right moment, the toxins will fall into the water and combine with the harbor sludge, creating a new race of mud mutants, which I alone will control."
Shredder "Hmm. Putting toxic waste to good use. A novel idea. Rocksteady, Beebop! Start loading the explosive so we can blow up that bridge!"
Krang "And remember, Shredder, this operation requires a hands-on approach."
Shredder "Something you could never manage, seeing as how you don't have any hands. Ha, ha, ha!"
Krang "You never miss a shot, do you?"
[His android body strikes the console with a fist. The picture of a mud mutant disappears and is replaced by April’s live report.]
Shredder "What’s this? Why, it's April O' Neil!"
April "This fabulous exhibit will be at the Japanese embassy for one week only, so don't fail to see- -"
April & Shredder "The Sword of Yurikawa."
Shredder "With that in my possession, there'll be no need for explosives."
Krang "Shredder, what are you blathering about?"
Shredder "There's no time to explain. I must get to the surface now!"
Krang "He's always been a sucker for a pretty sword."
[A Transport Module enters a surface tube. Cut to a large mansion where someone else has been watching the broadcast.]
April "This is April O'Neil, Channel 6 News, signing off."
Lafayette Le Drone "Ah, the Sword of Yurikawa. I must make it part of my collection.
Every rare and exotic weapon known to man is in this room. Priceless tools of combat from throughout history, all mine. But the rarest weapon of all, the Sword of Yurikawa, has always eluded me. Until now, that is. Let me see. Now, which of my weapons shall I use to do the job? This calls for something simple but maneuverable.
Small, unobtrusive, yet extremely effective.
Voila! I have found it! So tasteful, so elegant.
Who would ever guess its destructive power?
At last, the Sword of Yurikawa will be mine. Ha, ha, ha!"
[He stands up, causing his cat to leap off his lap.]
Every rare and exotic weapon known to man is in this room. Priceless tools of combat from throughout history, all mine. But the rarest weapon of all, the Sword of Yurikawa, has always eluded me. Until now, that is. Let me see. Now, which of my weapons shall I use to do the job? This calls for something simple but maneuverable.
[He examines weapons in a display case.]
Small, unobtrusive, yet extremely effective.
[He settles on a ring with a red stone.]
Voila! I have found it! So tasteful, so elegant.
[He places the ring on his finger.]
Who would ever guess its destructive power?
[He aims the ring at a bookcase and fires, blowing open a large hole.]
At last, the Sword of Yurikawa will be mine. Ha, ha, ha!"
[Wearing disguises, the Turtles walk along a city sidewalk.]
Michelangelo "Dudes, I have got the major munchies."
Leonardo "Well, forget it. We've got to get to the Japanese Embassy."
Michelangelo "Chill, this will only take a second."
[He ducks into a pizzeria.]
Donatello "Wait, Michelangelo. Don't!"
[The other Turtles wait patiently until Michelangelo returns holding a pizza box.]
Michelangelo "Sorry, compadres. I just can't resist an anchovy and hot fudge pizza."
Leonardo "You heard Master Splinter. We're supposed to use true ninja attitude."
Michelangelo "But, dude, how can we practice ninja silence with our stomachs growling?"
[He lifts the lid on the box, releasing the scent of food.]
Raphael "Yeah, Michelangelo's got a point there."
Donatello "There is a certain logic to his thinking."
Leonardo "I suppose it couldn't hurt."
[They all grab a slice and start eating.]
All "Turtles eat with honor!"
[They do not see that someone is nearby spying on them. Cut to the Japanese embassy. Inside, a security beam protects the sword. A ninja sneaks into the room, slides under the beam, and opens the glass case in order to grab the sword. He quickly replaces it with a replica. He slides back under the beam and runs from the room. A second later, the skylight opens and another ninja drops into the room. He smashes the security camera with his fist and then kicks the security beam box, breaking it. He opens the glass case to extract the sword, and replaces with yet another replica. Using his ring, he shoots a grappling hook through the skylight and climbs up. As soon as he’s gone, another ninja enters the room through an air duct. He opens the glass case, takes the sword and leaves. The Turtles finally reach the embassy.]
Leonardo "We're here, fellas. The embassy is just around this corner."
[They round the corner and see police officers in front of the embassy gate.]
Michelangelo "Uh-oh. The boys in blue."
Raphael "What's going on?"
Officer "Put out an APB for the entire area. The Sword of Yurikawa has just been stolen."
Donatello "Stolen?"
Leonardo "We're too late."
Raphael "I don't believe it. We blew our assignment for a lousy pizza."
Michelangelo "I agree, amigo. That crust was seriously stale."
Donatello "We can't go home without that sword. How would we face Master Splinter?"
Leonardo "Donatello's right. We'll just have to track it down ourselves."
Raphael "Yeah, right. Like we're just gonna turn a corner and boom, there it is."
[The first mystery ninja jumps out from an alley right in front of them.]
Donatello "There it is! The Sword of Yurikawa!"
Leonardo "You'd better hand that over, friend!"
[The ninja takes a swipe at them with the sword, but they duck. They he lifts it overhead and it becomes engulfed in flames.]
Michelangelo "Whoa! Neat parlor trick."