[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Episode begins with Bebop and Rocksteady climbing the satellite tower atop the Channel 6 news station.]
Rocksteady "Quit it, Bebop. You're gonna make me drop this thing."
Bebop "Uh, I can't help it. Lightning gives me the willies."
Shredder "I'll give you more than the willies, if you drop that mesmerizer. Now, get it to the top of the tower. I want its beam broadcast across the entire city."
Both "Right, boss."
Krang "They will fail, Shredder. They always fail."
Shredder "But what choice do I have? Only mutants are immune to the mesmerizer's beam. Humans, like myself, can't be near it when they set it off."
Krang "You don't have to explain it to me. I invented it, remember?"
Shredder "I wasn't explaining it to you. I was explaining it to them."
[He breaks the fourth wall by pointing at the viewer.]
Bebop "Rocksteady, you really think this thing is going to turn everybody into zombies?"
Rocksteady "Let's find out."
Handsome Anchorman "Good afternoon. Today's big story comes from faraway Rowatania, where there's a crippling shortage of rutabagas. Rutabagas. Rutabagas. Rutabagas. You command, I obey. You command, I obey. You command, I obey."
Irma "What's going on, April?"
April "I don't know, Irma. I, uh, I-- I, I obey, you command. I obey."
News People "You command, I obey. You command, I obey."
[The turtles are in their lair, watching the broadcast.]
Michelangelo "Whoa! Check it out, dudes. Night of the living newscasters."
Raphael "Why do I have a feeling this isn't their regularly scheduled program?"
Splinter "And I have a feeling that Shredder and Krang are somehow behind this."
Bebop "I don't like it up here. Can't you hurry it up?"
Rocksteady "Oh, don't rush me. Perfection takes time."
Bebop "Mama!"
[They both fall.]
Both "Whoa!"
Rocksteady "Uh-oh."
Bebop "Hey. A miracle catch."
Rocksteady "Yeah, if you didn't catch it, we really would've caught it."
Both "Uh-oh. Whoa!"
News People "You command, I obey. You command, I obey."
Donatello "This is awful."
Michelangelo "But you gotta admit, it's kind of a catchy beat."
Leonardo "It's Rocksteady and Bebop."
Donatello "You were right, Master. Shredder is definitely behind this."
Leonardo "Which means April is in big trouble. Let's go, fellas."
[Shift to the Technodrome.]
Shredder "Oh, those moronic mutants. What are they doing?"
Krang "Failing, Shredder. It's the only thing they know how to do."
Shredder "Ohh!"
News People "You command, we obey. You command, we obey."
Bebop "Oh, my head."
Rocksteady "You want to knock it off? I got a bad headache."
News People "You command, we obey."
Bebop "Hey, this brain control tape really works."
Rocksteady "Lucky we don't have to worry about that."
Leonardo "Guess again, double ugly."
Donatello "What you are is history."
Rocksteady "Poor ninjas, you're about to get injured."
Bebop "Hold it, Rocksteady. Let's use the mesmerizer on them. Hey, slaves, listen up."
News People "You command, we obey."
Bebop "My command is, don't let them turtles put a hand on us."
[Both shout as the news people pick them up.]
Michelangelo "Awesome strategy, dudes. No way we could touch you now."
Rocksteady "Oh, put us down, you zonked-out zombies."
Bebop "Yeah. Drop us."
Raphael "Now, this is my kind of fight."
Michelangelo "For sure, we could have phoned this one in."
Irma "Wha--what happened to us?"
April "I have the distinct feeling we were out."
Irma "Where'd we go? And did we meet any cute guys?"
Burne Thompson "The roof. My news studio. Who did this?"
Bebop "Um, I think it's time to split."
Leonardo "They're getting away! After them, fellas."
Thompson "Not so fast! You slimy reptiles, I'll bet you're responsible for this!"
Donatello "Hey, I deny that insinuation. Turtles are not slimy."
Leonardo "No time to argue, Donatello. After those mutants!"
Donatello "Too late, guys. They're gone."
Shredder "The mesmerizer is the perfect, unbeatable weapon. But the delivery system, Rocksteady and Bebop, leaves much to be desired."
Krang "I agree with you, Shredder-- just for once. That is why I have devoted all my efforts to ending the mutant problem once and for all."
Bebop "I wonder if there's still time to hear from the governor."
Krang "This won't hurt much."
Bebop "Oh, no!"
Rocksteady "I want a lawyer!"
[Krang throws a switch and electricity from an invention shoots into Bebop and Rocksteady, who are strapped down.]
Leonardo "Don't worry, April, Bebop and Rocksteady are gone."
April "But what if they install that crazy mind-control thing on top of the tower again? They could take over the entire city."
Donatello "April's right. We've gotta guard the Channel 6 building."
Raphael "The question is how? If Burne Thompson sees us, we're turtle hash."
Michelangelo "Hey, no problemo, amigos. I found a truly righteous place for our stakeout."
[He points at a pizza parlor. In the Technodrome, the machine attached to Bebop and Rocksteady stops. Inside tubes nearby are replicas of the pair.]
Bebop "Uh, gee. Krang was right. That didn't hardly hurt at all."
Rocksteady "Actually, it felt kind of good."
Shredder "This is your brilliant solution, Krang? Two more mutants?"
Krang "Not mere mutants. Cybernetic clones. Ten times as strong and ten times as smart as Rocksteady and Bebop could ever hope to be. Behold, Super Rocksteady and Mighty Bebop. The beginning of the end for the teenage mutant ninja turtles! Ha ha ha!"
[The clones attack Bebop and Rocksteady.]
Both "Aah! Oh! Mama! Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Oh!"
Krang "Well, Shredder, what do you think?"
Shredder "Oh, most impressive. They'll make excellent replacements for Rocksteady and Bebop."
April "April to turtles. I'm in the Channel 6 lobby. No sign of trouble here. How does it look out there?"
Leonardo "Everything's under control, April."
Donatello "Yeah, it doesn't look like Bebop and Rocksteady will be back tonight."
April "Hope you're right. If you need me, I'll be up in the studio."
Leonardo "And we'll be in the pizza parlor. Check with you later."
Rocksteady "Ooh, I don't believe it."
Bebop "Yeah, a couple of first-string strong-arms like us benched."
Krang "Shredder, this time you will personally lead the super mutants and see that the mesmerizer is properly installed."
Shredder "Brilliant, Krang. Have you forgotten that the mesmerizer will hypnotize all humans, including me?"
Krang "I have already solved that problem. This amulet will shield you against the mesmerizer's mind-controlling effects."
Shredder "Oh, excellent. We leave for the surface at once. Super Rocksteady, Mighty Bebop, to the transport module."
Rocksteady "Maybe we should have told them that mesmerizer gizmo is busted?"
Bebop "No way. We're in enough trouble already."
Donatello "All clear outside Channel 6."
Leonardo "All clear inside, too. Look."
Handsome Anchorman "Now, let's take a short break from the news to admire my hair."
Waitress "Here's your, uh, pizza."
Michelangelo "Oh, outstanding! Is that the one with the pickled herring and caramel fudge topping?"
Waitress "Naturally. You think my face is always green like this?"
Raphael "Why not? Ours are."
Waitress "Oh!"
[The transport module drills up into the fountain in the news building’s lobby.]
Shredder "When I rule this city, my first law will be no more fountains in office buildings. You two, guard the lobby. Remember, your job is to stop the turtles."
Super Bebop "Right. Stop turtles."
Mighty Rocksteady "Right. Stop turtles."
Super Bebop "No. Stomp the turtles."
Both "Stomp turtles. Stomp turtles. Stomp turtles."
Shredder "You're right. That's an even better idea. I'll go set up the mesmerizer.
Uh, oh, oh, excuse me. Oh, sorry. Uh, pardon me. There. It's done. Now, to turn it on. Oh, at last I've won. The city shall finally bend to my will. Ha ha ha!"
[He squeezes into an elevator full of people.]
Uh, oh, oh, excuse me. Oh, sorry. Uh, pardon me. There. It's done. Now, to turn it on. Oh, at last I've won. The city shall finally bend to my will. Ha ha ha!"
Waitress "Yes, you did."
Cook "No, I didn't."
Michelangelo "Check it out, dudes. What's wrong with this picture?"
Waitress "Yes, you did, and I'm gonna tell!"
Donatello "What's gotten into them?"
Raphael "Same thing that got into him. Look."
Handsome Anchorman "Nyah, do do-do do I'm on TV, and you're not."
Krang "Hmm. These mesmerizer readings are very odd. I wonder if it's been damaged."
[Bebop and Rocksteady look at one another and audibly gulp.]
Krang "If it's not working properly, it could play strange tricks on a person's mind."
Shredder "Attention, slaves. I am your Master, and I command you to obey me."
Vernon "I want my milk and cookies."
Shredder "You want what?"
Vernon "You heard me. I get awful cranky if I don't have my cookies."
Shredder "Ow! Why you—"
April "Tag! You're it!"
Shredder "Oh! What is going on?"
Thompson "Hey, Mister, help me change this channel. I want to watch cartoons."
Shredder "No. I am the Master. You are the slave, and I say no cartoons."
Thompson "I want to watch cartoons! I want to watch cartoons! Now look what you did, you gave me a boo-boo."
Shredder "I don't believe this. Krang's mesmerizer has time warped everyone back into childhood."
Michelangelo "Mondo weirdness. Scope that out."
[A group of businessmen are playing hopscotch on the sidewalk.]
Leonardo "What's going on around here?"
Raphael "I think there's your answer."
Michelangelo "Bogus! It's that mind zapper that Rocksteady and Bebop were carrying."
Donatello "I have this awful feeling that Shredder's outmaneuvered us."
Leonardo "Well, it's time we started some maneuvers of our own."
Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady "Stomp turtles! Stomp turtles!"
Donatello "Who are these guys?"
Raphael "What are these guys?"
Michelangelo "They look weirdly familiar."
Turtles "Oh! Ow! Oh! Ouch!"
Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady "Stomp turtles! Stomp turtles!"
Donatello "You wanna know what these guys are? They're big trouble, that's what they are."
Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady "Stomp turtles! Stomp turtles!"
Donatello "That's going to take some mighty fancy footwork, can head."
Mighty Rocksteady "Yeah. Footwork."
Raphael "That's right, give him ideas. Uh-oh, fellas. We got world-class problems."
Michelangelo "Whoa! Maximum wipe out!"
Raphael "Now what?"
Donatello "Don't worry. We'll get into that building. You'll see."
Michelangelo "Oh, yeah? Like how?"
Donatello "How should I know? I'm a ninja turtle, not a cartoon writer."
[Krang watches onscreen as the news staff runs around playing like children.]
Irma "I’m gonna catch you!"
April "You're it!"
Shredder "Krang, have you been tinkering with the mesmerizer?"
Krang "Me? Of course not. Only a complete idiot would do that. A complete idiot? Rocksteady! Bebop!"
Both "Uh-oh."
Businessman "One potato, two potato, three potato, four."
Raphael "Why does Shredder want everyone to act like a child?"
Leonardo "Well, whatever Shredder's scheme is, we've got to stop him."
Michelangelo "Hey, what's going down?"
Raphael "I think we are."
Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady "Stomp turtles! Stomp turtles!"
Leonardo "Oh! My suction cups. They're pulling loose."
Donatello "I can't hold on much longer."
Michelangelo "Is this ever suspenseful or what?"
All "Aah!"
Donatello "So much for that idea."
Krang "How many times are you imbeciles going to fail me?"
Bebop "Ooh, lots more times, boss."
Rocksteady "Yeah, we ain't the least bit tired."
Krang "Shut up and listen. I will give you one last chance to redeem yourselves. Now, go to the red drawer in that blue desk, and bring me the yellow computer disk."
Bebop "Oh, let's see. We gotta take the blue disk out of the yellow drawer in the red desk."
Rocksteady "Or was it the yellow disk out of the red desk?"
Bebop "Or the blue disk out of the blue desk? Ow!"
Krang "Stop wasting valuable time! You must get that schematic disk up to Shredder and repair the mesmerizer."
Rocksteady "Aw, heck. One color's as good as another."
Leonardo "Fellas, what we need is a plan."
Donatello "Right. We've got to get past those super robots."
Raphael "Maybe we could short circuit them."
Michelangelo "Mondo notion. But how?"
Raphael "Hey, I just think them up. A guy can't do everything."
[Nearby, a transport module drills up into the alleyway and slams into a garbage bin.]
Bebop "Blah! Garbage."
Rocksteady "Ooh, and I took a bath just last month."
Leonardo "It's Bebop and Rocksteady."
Donatello "They're headed for Channel 6."
Michelangelo "Unless we cut them off at the pass."
[Raphael throws his sais and pins the mutants inside the revolving door.]
Rocksteady "Oh, hey. This door is s-stuck."
Leonardo "And it won't unstick until you tell us what you're doing here."
Bebop "Do we look stupid or something?"
Rocksteady "Yeah. We'll never spill the beans about Shredder needing this disk."
Bebop "Yeah. Now, let us out of here."
Donatello "Why not? One big jerk deserves another."
Bebop and Rocksteady "Yiii! Aah!"
Raphael "What's this thing?"
Donatello "This just might be the answer to all our problems."
Bebop and Rocksteady "Whoa! Ooh!"
Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady "Stomp dummies! Stomp dummies!"
Rocksteady "Uh-oh. I think we're in trouble."
Shredder "Stop that! You two super mutants should be guarding against the turtles."
Super Bebop "Yeah. Stomp turtles."
Shredder "And you two stupid mutants come with me. You've got work to do. Climb to the top of the tower and repair the mesmerizer at once."
Rocksteady "Uh, s-s-sure, boss."
Raphael "Well, Donatello, have you figured out what that disk is for?"
Donatello "I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that it doesn't contain the schematics for the mesmerizer. But it does contain the schematics for the super mutants."
Leonardo "Which means?"
Donatello "We can use it to counterprogram them."
Bebop "Give me the disk, so we can get started."
Rocksteady "Uh-oh. It ain't here. I must have dropped it?"
Bebop "You big twerp, now we're going to get it good."
Shredder "You bumbling ignoramuses! What are you doing up there?"
Rocksteady "Hey, boss! It's changing colors!"
Shredder "Hmm. I wonder what's going on here."
[Shredder hears barking and looks through the hole in the roof to see the news staff crawling around on all fours while barking and growling at each other.]
Bebop "Uh, something wrong, boss?"
Shredder "Wrong? I'll show you wrong!"
Both "Whoa! Ohh!"
Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady "Smell turtles. See turtles."
Leonardo "Right this way, big guys."
Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady "Stomp turtles! Stomp turtles!"
Donatello "Here goes!"
Leonardo "It's working!"
Donatello "All right! Now to reprogram them."
Bebop "Hey, it's changing colors again."
[The news staff stops behaving like dogs and starts acting like monkeys.]
Shredder "This is absurd!"
[The super mutants arrive on the rooftop, humming and dancing.]
Shredder "Huh? My super mutants? What are you doing? Stop this instant! You're not programmed to lead."
Donatello "They are now."
Raphael "Adios, mesmerizer."
[Raphael throws his sais, hitting the mesmerizer and dropping it to the rooftop. The two super mutants explode.]
Leonardo "The mesmerizer! Hey, where'd it go?"
Shredder "It's where it belongs, in my possession."
Bebop "Hoo, hoo! That's telling them, boss."
Leonardo "Now what?"
Donatello "That amulet Shredder's wearing, it must be what protects him from the mesmerizer's rays."
Leonardo "What can we do about it?"
Donatello "This! Hyah!"
Shredder "What? Come back with my amulet!"
[He drops to all fours and acts like a monkey.]
Rocksteady "What's come over the boss?"
Bebop "I think it's fur."
[Shredder climbs the tower with the mesmerizer in his hands.]
Rocksteady "Wait, boss. Come back. I'll give you a banana!"
[Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady reach the top of the tower. Their weight causes it to collapse. The turtles shout as they run to get out of the way. Shredder and his mutants fall from the top of the building onto a pizza cart on the sidewalk below.]
Donatello "It's-- it's horrible!"
Michelangelo "Oh, that's for sure! All that pizza totally trashed!"
Bebop "Oh, uh, you okay, Rocksteady?"
Rocksteady "Yeah. This broke my fall."
[He points to the mesmerizer, which suddenly explodes.]
April "Wh--what happened? I feel so strange."
Irma "Yeah. Me, too. Suddenly, I don't mind working for peanuts."
Thompson "How did I get up here?"
April "With a double back flip."
Irma "Followed by a triple somersault."
Thompson "Aah!"
April "Mr. Thompson, are you all right?"
Thompson "Fine. I'm just a little light-headed."
Donatello "Hey, ladies, thanks for the pizza."
Michelangelo "Really. This marshmallow and asparagus topping is truly awesome."
April "Oh, well, it's the least we can do for you guys."
Irma "Yeah. The way that Shredder creep tried to make monkeys out of us!"
[They hear someone making monkey noises and look out to see Vernon swinging from a pole.]
April "Then again, for some people, it's an improvement!"
[End Credits]