Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

Raphael "Please, Donnie, you gotta help—he's killin' me!"

Donatello "I really wish I could, Raph..."


Donnie "...But in for a penny, in for a pound. I told you not to play with Mikey, but did you listen? Noooo. So..."

Donnie "...Right foot to triangle."

Raph "Where... Gah! Where'd you find this stupid game anyways, Mike?"

Michelangelo "Stupid?! Bro, this is...erk! Classic! Found it hidin' on... Unf! On one of the store shelves."

Leonardo "Man. That looks painful. I thought the tai chi I just did was killer."

Mikey "Hey, this is like... Ack! Tai chi on 'roids, dude!"

Raph "More like torture. I think my spleen just exploded."

Page 2


Mikey "Dude, that was sick! Best two outta three?"

Raph "What're you talkin' about? How the heck can you even tell who won?"

Donnie "Oh, I'd say we were the winners, huh, Leo?"

Leo "You know it."

Leo "You were kidding, Mikey—that was definitely "classic." "

Raph "Hardy har har, Mr. Tai Chi. It ain't like standin' around like a dumb one-legged crane is any better."

Leo "Master Splinter would probably disagree."

Mikey "Speakin' of Master..."

Mikey "...What's gotten into him lately?"

Page 3

Leo "He's been like that ever since the whole thing with Shredder and the Foot. It's got to be something to do with that."

Mikey "Yeah, but we kicked their butts, right?"

Leo "No, we escaped with our butts. Big difference, Mikey. We might've had Shredder down, but he was definitely not out."

Mikey "I tried to cheer Sensei up by inviting him to play the game with us, but he kinda bit my head off when I asked."

Leo "Don't take it personal, little bro. He's just got a lot on his mind now that he knows Oroku Saki's back in the picture. We all do."

Mikey "I guess. I'm just happy we got Father back okay. Even if he's grumpy. I was kinda worried we weren't gonna find him."

Leo "You need to give him some space, Mike. This thing with the Foot's not over by a long shot. Shredder's not gonna stand by now that he knows who we were. We gotta be ready for anything."

Mikey "I know, Leo, and I get what you're saying. But we don't gotta stress about it all the time, do we?"

Leo "Well, way I see it, if we wanna survive, then it's better to stress too much than not enough."

Leo "But, you know what? We don't have to worry about that right now. You do need to worry about me kicking your butt in this game, though. You ready?"

Mikey "Really?! Bring it on, big bro!"

Raph "And here I thought you were the smart one of the bunch, Leo."

Donnie "Second smartest!"

Raph "Whatever, Donnie!"

Page 4

[Old dangers—old wars—have become new.]

[And while my sons play—while they enjoy these few peaceful moments as only children can—I find myself struggling under a weight I thought lifted from my troubled shoulders a lifetime ago.]

[They are not ready for what is to come—I know this just as I know it falls on me to prepare them for the long conflict that lies ahead—and for the grim realities that exist within all wars.]

[But am I, myself, ready? Ready to lead them down a path where right and wrong so often become indistinguishable?]

[The only certainty is this—to openly defy Shredder is to court death, and it is inevitable that he will move against us, striking from the shadows when we least expect it.]

[We cannot foresee what danger is coming next.]



Page 5

Mikey "Whoa!"

Donnie "Casey?!"

Mikey "What happened?!"

Casey Jones "My dad... Didn't like my "smart mouth." *"

Casey "It's fine."

Raph "That piece of garbage."

Raph "I'm gonna tear him apart!"

Splinter "Raphael!"


Splinter "Leonardo, you and your brothers remain here and attend to Casey Jones. I will return with Raphael—do not follow me."

Leo "Yes, Sensei."

Page 6

April O'Neil "Surprise! I come bearing gifts—glazed and jelly-filled!"

Splinter "Please forgive my rudeness, Miss O'Neil, but I must depart immediately."

April "I... Um... Okay."

April "Geez, where's the fire?"

April "Oh, my God, Casey..."

Page 7

"...Your poor face!"




Oroku Karai "Hyah!"





Page 8




Karai "Hyah!"



Page 9

Shredder "Again."

Karai "Excuse me?"

Shredder "Did I whisper, Granddaughter? Did you not hear my command? Shall I repeat?"

Shredder "Again!"

Page 10

Karai "But... This is the third group of attackers I have defeated today, Master."

Karai "Have I not proven I am ready?"

Shredder "No. This is the third time you have disappointed me today. The only thing you have proven is that you are too clumsy, too slow, too weak, and wholly unprepared to lead as my second-in-command."

Karai "Respectfully, Grandfather, I disagree."

Karai "The Foot was mine to lead and I led them well—from the pathetic bureaucratic quagmire my father had dragged the Clan down into, back to the deadly warrior army it was always meant to be."

FIRST N[...]


"From the very start of this war, I have stood at its forefront, ensuring we have ready access to the resources necessary to enhance our army..."

"...While always protecting the secrecy of our operations."

Page 11

"I have commanded our troops against all those who would dare oppose us."

"From our enemies in the lowest dens of ill repute..."

"...To the highest political office..."

"...None have been safe."

Karai "I did this, just as it was I who brought you back from the dead, Grandfather. Without me, you would not even stand here today, judging me. It was a decision I made for the benefit of the Clan, as a true leader should."

Karai "I am ready."

Shredder "Karai, it is only because you are flesh of my flesh that I do not strike you down here and now."

Shredder "You say you are ready, impetuous girl? Then gather those around you. Lead them against me now..."

Shredder "...And prove your readiness."

Page 12

Karai "You, you... And you."

Karai "With me..."

Karai "...Attack!"

Shredder "Clumsy."

Shredder "Slow."

Shredder "Weak."

Karai "Uff!"

Shredder "You are not ready."

Page 13

Shredder "Despite your insolence, you are a capable warrior, Karai, and a ninja of the highest order. On that, we agree."

Shredder "But, you no longer lead the Foot Clan—and contrary to your earlier declaration, you never truly have."

Shredder "You are a soldier, not a leader, and it is folly for you to believe otherwise. I, however, do lead..."

Shredder "...And the time has come for me to find a more suitable second-in-command."

Page 14

April "Here you go—this ice should help a little. It'd sure be nice if I could come visit you guys just one time without someone being beaten to a pulp."

Casey "Thanks, April. Man, this is so embarrassin'."

April "Well, it shouldn't be, not when you're with friends."

Mikey "Yeah, and as your friend, Casey, I'm suggestin' you start wearin' your hockey mask whenever you go home."

Casey "Heh. I'll try to remember that next time, Mikey."

Mikey "Maybe a football helmet, too."

Donnie "Might not be a next time if Father doesn't stop Raph from ripping your dad a new one."

Leo "Sensei will take care of Raph, don't worry."

April "You didn't think this was important enough to share with me?"

Casey "It's not the kind of stuff you talk about over coffee and donuts. You know—"Hi, I'm Casey... I play hockey and sometimes my dad wallops me when he's blitzed." It's kinda private."

April "Well, I told you about my dad's stroke, and that's private. I thought we were closer than that, Casey."

Casey "No, you're... You're right, April—I shoulda told you before. I..."

Casey "...I was wrong."

April "Yes. You were."

Leo "You sure you don't need a doctor, man?"

Casey "Nah, I'm cool, Leo. Thanks."

Casey "But I could use some aspirin if you got 'em..."

Page 15

"I'm rockin' the world's worst headache right now."

[I've had hangovers before, but this is unprecedented.]

[My stomach is spinning like a blasted centrifuge.]

[And my head? Gah.]

[My fortune for an aspirin.]

Baxter Stockman "What the hell did Krang do to..."

Baxter "...Me?"

Page 16

Baxter "Where in blazes am I?"

Baxter "And what is all this?"


Page 17

"What's up?"

"Sergeant Granitor wants us to fall in for formation, ASAP."

"Probably another surprise inspection."

"Whatever it is, we need to beat feet or we're all gonna be on latrine duty for the next month for being late."


Baxter "Let's see what's behind door number two, shall we?"

Baxter "Hm."

Baxter "Now this is interesting."

Page 18

Baxter "Very interesting, indeed."

Page 19

Krang "Welcome to Burnow Island, Stockman..."

Baxter "Who—?!"

Krang "...I see you've already met my family."

Baxter "Krang!"

Krang "Yes. And as you can see, we have much to discuss."

Krang "You..."

Krang "...And I."

Page 20

Arnold Jones "Freakin' TV... Ain't nothin' good on any chan—"


Raph "Where are you, scumbag?!"

Raph "There you are! You're goin' down for good tonight, chump."

Arnold "Yeah? We'll see, punk."

Arnold "I remember your ugly mug."

[...]STMAN [...]AGER


Arnold "And I been lookin' forward to this."

Page 21

Arnold "Grah!"


Arnold "Nrgglk!"


Arnold "Whuf!"


Raph "I told you, chump—this ends now."

Splinter "Raphael... No!"

Page 22


Raph "Yah!"

Raph "Master Splinter?"

Splinter "You fight with too much rage, my son."

Splinter "Let me show you the true way of the ninja."

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