Changes: Shredderville/Transcript

Revision as of 01:37, 17 May 2021

[Opening sequence and theme song.]

[Episode begins inside the turtles’ lair. Splinter is reading until he hears his son’s voice.]

Michelangelo "Total bummer, dudes."

Splinter "What has happened, my turtles?"

Leonardo "Shredder got away. Again."

Donatello "And he wrecked two garbage trucks and us doing it."

Splinter "Perhaps your struggle with Shredder is like the struggle between good and evil-- unending."

Michelangelo "You mean, like, we gotta keep doing it till we get it right?"

Donatello "Oh, Sensei, I'm beginning to think the world would be better off if we turtles had never been mutated."

Splinter "Such thoughts can be dangerous, Donatello."

Donatello "But look at all the destruction Shredder causes just trying to get rid of us."

Leonardo "Donatello's right. If we weren't around, maybe Shredder wouldn't be, either."

Splinter "Be careful what you wish for, my students. You just might get it."

Michelangelo "Tubuloso concept. I'm gonna wish for a double decker fudge-filled pizza."

[Close-up on Donatello, who is sound asleep and snoring. He wakes abruptly when water hits his face. When he sits up, he finds that he’s in a sewer tunnel.]

Donatello "Ech! Blech! Hey, where's the lair?"

[He looks over and sees Raphael laying down on a ledge above the water, just opposite him.]

Raphael "You wanna keep it down so a guy can get some sleep?"

[He rolls over and lands in the water. Michelangelo is also there, still sleeping. A mouse jumps on his chest and wakes him.]

Michelangelo "Ah!"

Leonardo "Where are we?"

Donatello "And how'd we get here?"

Michelangelo "I don't know, dudes."

Leonardo "We've gotta find the lair. Come on, turtles."

Donatello "This is definitely not our sewer."

Leonardo "I think we'd better go topside and reconnoiter."

[They exit the sewers and see that the entire city is destroyed.]

Donatello "What is going on?"

Raphael "Not a lot of cleaning, that's for sure. What a mess. Everything's falling apart."

Michelangelo "Yeah. Kinda reminds me of our place after a pizza party."

Donatello "This place hasn't been cleaned in years."

Leonardo "And they've got air to match. Look at the pollution!"

Loudspeaker "All mutants are to be hunted down. Mutants are your enemies."

Michelangelo "The dude's talking about us."

Leonardo "And we don't have our disguises."

Donatello "No problem. I see just the place."

Raphael ""Dave's disguises." Yup. I'd say there's a fair chance we'll find a disguise there."

Michelangelo "Excellent. They've got everything here."

[They enter. The owner, Dave, is watching television and ignores them. Donatello tries on an Australian hat.]

Donatello "What do you think, mates? Fair dinkum, eh?"

[Raphael switches it out for mouse ears.]

Raphael "Forget it. This is definitely more you."

Michelangelo "How much for four costumes?"

Dave "Start paying. I'll tell you when.

[Michelangelo puts some bills in his hand.]

Hey, what kind of phony money is this? Mutants! Oh, I should have known. Your money's as worthless as you are."

Donatello "What's wrong with it?"

Dave "What's the matter, you from Dimension X or something? This here is the only money that's good in this town."

Donatello "That's Shredder's picture."

Dave "Naturally. What did you expect? This is Shredderville."

Leonardo "Shredderville? Is this some kind of a practical joke?"

Dave "It's no joke, mutant. Now, scram outta here, before I call the cops."

Leonardo "What's happened to this city? The whole place has changed overnight. Let's go find April. Maybe she's got some answers."

Donatello "Oh, my gosh. Look at the Channel 6 building."

Raphael "Yeah. I love what they've done with the place."

[They enter the partially destroyed building.]

Michelangelo "Scope it out, dudes. Whoa.

[The globe in the lobby is broken.]

Like, the world sure is in terrible shape."

Raphael "I told you it'd fall apart one day."

Donatello "Oh, I'm not so sure I want to ride on this elevator."

Leonardo "You may not have to. There's no car."

[Michelangelo looks up and sees a car plummeting towards them.]

Michelangelo "Cowabunga! It's coming! And it's an express!

[The car crashes.]

Whoa!"

Raphael "On second thought, maybe we oughta take the stairs."

Donatello "Hey, look. Irma's been replaced by a robot receptionist."

Robot "May I help you?"

Raphael "She oughta do something about those loose teeth, huh?"

Leonardo "We'd like to see April O'Neil, please."

[The robot stands up and begins stumbling around.]

Robot "April, April, April has thirty days. Unlike February, which has twenty-eight."

[The robot hits the desk face first and then explodes. The turtles run for cover.]

Michelangelo "Oh! A simple "I don't know if she's in" would have been enough."

Donatello "Ah, at least April's office is still here."

Raphael "I hope you can handle a few slight changes."

Michelangelo "Holy guacamole. It's right out of the Arabian nights."

[The room’s decor is heavy with plush furniture and colorful tapestry’s. April and Irma step out from behind a tapestry. Both are dressed in belly dancer costumes.]

Leonardo "April?"

Donatello "Irma?"

Michelangelo "Are you dudettes going to a costume party?"

April O'Neil "Oh! Mutants!"

Irma "What are you doing here? Garbage pickup isn't until Thursday."

Donatello "Don't you know who we are?"

April "Of course not. We don't socialize with mutants."

Irma "We're not that kind of harem girls."

Both "Aah!"

[They run away. From behind a couch, Rocksteady in his human form pops up.]

Rocksteady "Let me guess. You guys are the tooth fairy, right?"

Bebop "

[also human]

Nah, there ain't four tooth fairies, stupid. Them's the seven dwarfs."

Leonardo "Bebop and Rocksteady. They're not mutants."

Donatello "And they don't recognize us, either."

Michelangelo "Doesn't anybody recognize us?"

Rocksteady "Oh, whoever you geeks are, you ain't welcome."

Bebop "Right. You scared away our serving girls."

Michelangelo "April and Irma-- Rocksteady and Bebop's serving girls? What a totally nutsoid concept."

Leonardo "We happen to be the teenage mutant ninja turtles."

Rocksteady "Turtles, huh? We like turtles."

Donatello "Ah, well, that's a relief."

Bebop "Yeah, we like you for lunch."

[They pull laser blasters from behind the couch and start shooting. The turtles dive out of the way. Leonardo jumps onto a hanging tapestry.]

Leonardo "I'll handle this."

Bebop "Get him!"

[Leonardo slices the rope holding the tapestry and it falls on top of Bebop and Rocksteady.]

Both "Whoa!"

Michelangelo "Let's wrap this up, amigo."

[The pair secure the tapestry around the humans.]

Raphael "They're as snug as two slugs in a rug."

Michelangelo "Whoa, sending the carpet out for cleaning, I see."

[Raphael rolls the trapped pair out the door.]

Raphael "It needs it. I gotta get rid of these two big grease spots."

[He rolls them down the stairs.]

Both "Whoa-oh!"

Leonardo "I still can't figure out this place."

Michelangelo "It's like totally bizarro. Nobody knows who we are."

Donatello "Hold it, guys. I just figured it out. The reason nobody knows us is we got our wish."

Leonardo "What wish?"

Donatello "Remember? Last night, we thought the world might be better off if we never existed. Well, this is the world without the teenage mutant ninja turtles."

Leonardo "What do you mean we don't exist?"

Donatello "We've been transported to some alternate world. It's just like ours except for one important difference."

Leonardo "What's that?"

Donatello "We teenage mutant ninja turtles never lived. Why else would our best friends April and Irma run away from us?"

Raphael "Maybe it's our breath."

[The sound of numerous voices draws their attention.]

Donatello "Somebody's coming."

Michelangelo "I'll go check it out.

[A laser blast destroys the door when he opens it.]

Whoa."

Rocksteady "Let's fix them rotten mutants."

Bebop "Yeah, mutants are our enemy."

Donatello "Uh-oh. Let's look for a way out."

Leonardo "There's only one way-- we'll take the turtle elevator."

[They attach their grappling hooks and ropes to the window sill and slide out of the building.]

Michelangelo "Cowabunga!"

Leonardo "Now I know we're not in our world. Look."

Donatello "The Technodrome."

Leonardo "So that's why this world is in such bad shape."

Donatello "I'll bet Krang is responsible for our being here in this alternate world."

Michelangelo "Well, hey, let's go find that turkey and talk turkey."

[Rocks are thrown at them and when they look across the street, the see an angry mob has gathered.]

Mob "Mutants, go home! No more freaks in our fair city!"

Donatello "I get the distinct feeling they don't like us."

Mob "Ah! Mutants, go home! Yeah!"

Leonardo "I believe it's time for a tactical retreat."

[The turtles run into an alley and duck behind a dumpster. The yelling angry mob runs past them.]

Leonardo "Ah, okay, they're gone now."

Donatello "There's something strange going on here. Everybody hates mutants."

Michelangelo "I don't get it, either. We're so loveable."

[They approach the Technodrome and see that it is a wreck.]

Leonardo "Krang has really let the Technodrome get run down."

Raphael "Don't you just hate a sloppy housekeeper?"

Michelangelo "Hey, scope it out. Some kid's spray-painting a message."

Raphael ""Krang go home.""

[A Rock soldier approaches the kid, who is actually Zach, and grabs him.]

Rock Soldier "Aha!"

Zach "Hey, let go of me, gravel breath!"

Rock Soldier "You will come with me."

Zach "What for?"

Rock Soldier "Defacing the Technodrome is a serious offense."

Donatello "We can't let that rock soldier arrest that kid."

[He throws his bō like a javelin. It trips the rock soldier, who tosses the kid as he falls.]

Rock Soldier "Ohhh!"

Michelangelo "

[catches Zach]

Gotcha, little dude."

Zach "Ah, gee, thanks, mister, I-- a mutant? Yuck! Let go of me."

Michelangelo "Hey, you're Zach. Hey, dudes, it's our old compadre, the fifth turtle."

Zach "Uh, you mutants know my name!"

Donatello "We have a friend who's just like you, but where we come from."

Zach "Oh. Around here, humans and mutants aren't friends. But thanks for saving me from that rock soldier."

Michelangelo "Those pebble brains are no friends of ours, either."

Leonardo "You could do us a favor. We need to get into the Technodrome."

Zach "Looking like that? Ha, forget it. You'd never get past that General Traag."

Donatello "It might help get rid of Krang."

Michelangelo "Yeah, and we're great with disguises."

Zach "Why didn't you say so? Come with me."

[A short time later, the turtles, wearing maintenance disguises, approach the entrance to the Technodrome. They are stopped by General Traag.]

General Traag "Hold it. Where do you think you're going?"

Donatello "Uh, we got an emergency call. Something needs fixing."

General Traag "In this city, everything needs fixing."

Michelangelo "Then we got here just in time. Come on, fellow... sanitary engineers."

General Traag "Not so fast. I'll have to see your I.D."

Raphael "Uh, no time, general. The framistam is leaking into the beamerjam."

General Traag "Oh, well, in that case, go ahead.

[He waves them in.]

Framistam leaking into the beamerjam?"

Raphael "Yuck. This is not even a nice place to visit."

Michelangelo "Personally, it kinda makes me homesick for the sewer."

[Krang, sans his android body, is pounding on a piece of machinery.]

Krang "Blast you, blasted thing!"

Donatello "Well, well, if it isn't Krang himself."

Krang "So you're finally here to fix my view screen."

Leonardo "No, we're the teenage mutant ninja turtles, and we're here to fix you."

Donatello "Right. This city is a terrible mess, and it's all your fault."

Krang "Me? You’ve got that treasonous ninja Shredder to thank for all this. Why do you think they call this place Shredderville?"

Donatello "Of course. It was Shredder's voice we heard on those antimutant announcements."

Krang "Do you think I'd let the Technodrome get this run down if I were in charge?"

Donatello "Oh, this doesn't look good. The power generators are seriously overheating."

Krang "What can I do? Shredder is diverting all the coolants for his own use at his headquarters."

Leonardo "Where's that?"

Krang "At Channel 6, where else?"

Michelangelo "I think it's time to go, dudes."

Raphael "We'll send you a bill for our service."

Krang "Wait. You must fix my view screen. My favorite soap comes on in a few minutes. What will I do?"

Donatello "Read a book."

Krang "Rock soldiers! Rock soldiers!"

Leonardo "There's the exit, dead ahead."

Michelangelo "Could you phrase that another way?"

General Traag "There they go! Stop them!

[The turtles run out of the Technodrome.]

Get them! Look out!"

[Zach sprays paint on the three rock soldiers. They start shooting in all directions and then fall down. Zach jumps down and runs to join the turtles.]

Leonardo "Thanks, Zach."

Zach "Hey, I owed you one."

Michelangelo "Well, now we're even, microdude."

Zach "I'm gotta go. So long, turtles!"

Leonardo "Fellas, I think we know what we have to do."

[Inside the Channel 6 building, Irma and April walk through the hallway.]

April "Snack time, huh?"

Irma "Yeah. I wish Bebop would learn to peel his own grapes."

[Donatello and Raphael grab them and pull them into a room.]

Both "Hey! Hey!"

Irma "Awful mutant! I thought we told you to take a hike."

Donatello "Listen, we're not your enemies. We're your friends."

Leonardo "Shredder's blamed everything on the mutants so people won't find out who the real enemy is."

Michelangelo "The honcho bad dude around here is Shredder."

Both "Shredder?!"

Donatello "Along with his two mutants Bebop and Rocksteady."

April "Mutants? Bebop and Rocksteady?"

Irma "I--I thought they were just really ugly humans."

Donatello "Well, in our world, they're mutants."

April "What do you mean your world?"

Donatello "Uh, it's a long story."

Leonardo "While you tell it, Raphael and I will track down Shredder."

[Two rock soldiers appear and one of the points at the pair of turtles.]

Rock Soldier "Go that way, you two. You've got audience duty today."

Raphael "Come one, we can take these guys."

Leonardo "Forget it! We don't want the whole place after us until we find Shredder."

Raphael "What is audience duty?

[Soon they are seated in the stands near a stage.]

How'd we get roped into watching some TV show?"

Leonardo "From the looks of these unhappy faces, I'd say it's not one of your major hits."

Vernon "

[at the microphone]

Hey, gang, it's time for the ‘I Love Shredder’ show!"

Audience "Ugh. Yipee."

[All are yawning.]

Vernon "Today we'll review our glorious leader's early years. Roll the tape."

[The tape starts showing video of Shredder in his youth. He breaks his toys and bullies other kids.]

Tape "Even as a baby, Shredder was drawn to the martial arts. As he grew older, our generous leader found the time to share his skills with his schoolmates."

Leonardo "That's it!

[He throws down his hard hat.]

I'm mad as heck, and I'm not gonna take it anymore! Don't you realize that good old Shredder is to blame for this miserable condition things are in. Listen to me!

[He rips off his disguise.]

Shredder is your real enemy! Not the—"

Rock Soldier "Mutants! Get them!"

[The audience is screaming and running from the TV set. Raphael also removes his disguise.]

Raphael "Thanks, Leonardo! Now I'll never know how ‘I Love Shredder’ ended."

[Michelangelo and Donatello are running through the hallways.]

Michelangelo "We should've arranged a place to meet. How are we gonna find Leonardo and Raphael?"

[The screaming mob runs past them.]

Donatello "Uh, I think we just found them."

[Leonardo and Raphael face off against the rock soldiers.]

Raphael "I think can we handle them, don't you?"

Leonardo "Why not? There's only two of them."

[Burne and Vernon come up behind them, carrying clubs.]

Burne Thompson "We'll show you what we do to mutants."

Vernon "Let's see how brave you mutants are."

Leonardo "Let's see how brave you humans are. Boo."

[Vernon leaps back in fright and falls into a piano. The lid snaps shut and the piano slides off the stage.]

Vernon "Whoa-ho!"

Thompson "Vernon, this is no time to play hide and seek!"

Michelangelo "Hey, four against two. No fair."

Donatello "Let's even up the odds."

Both "Turtle power!"

Rock Soldier "You've had it, mutants."

[April and Irma stand on a bridge overlooking the stage.]

April "We've gotta help those turtles!"

Irma "All right, but I'm still not sure why."

[They untie the ropes holding a stage light.]

Rock Soldier "Bye-bye, mutants."

[The stage light smashes into the rock soldiers.]

Donatello "It's April and Irma!"

Michelangelo "You really lowered the boom on those dudes."

[The turtles start towards Vernon and Burne.]

Vernon "Oh, ple-please, don't hurt me, please, please!"

Thompson "Ha ha ha, I—I—I-- only kidding, fellas. Some of my best friends are mutants."

[A door bursts open and rock soldiers run in.]

Leonardo "More rock soldiers!"

[The girls toss ropes down to the turtles.]

April "Come on, climb up."

Rock Soldier "They're getting away. Fire!"

April "Follow us. We know a back way out of here."

Irma "Helping mutants. I feel like such a traitor."

April "Okay, all clear."

Leonardo "We'll be back."

April "Wait until things have calmed down, then we'll take you to see Shredder."

Donatello "Thanks April, Irma. I'm glad you realized that we're not the bad guys."

Irma "Hey, for a bunch of guys with bald heads and green skin, you're kind of cute."

Irma "Whatever world Irma is in, she's the same Irma."

[The turtles walk through the deserted city streets after nightfall.]

Donatello "We've gotta figure out a way to get back to our own universe."

[An explosion shakes the ground and all four fall.]

Leonardo "Hey, what's going on?"

Michelangelo "It felt like one humongous earthquake."

Donatello "Wrong. It's the Technodrome. The generators are starting to overload. If they aren't cooled off, the entire Technodrome will blow up."

Leonardo "What a mess."

Michelangelo "I've seen cars at a demolition derby in better condition."

[Two Foot soldiers carry Krang into the street. He spots the turtles.]

Krang "Stop, stop, you idiots! Aren't you the Technodrome repair mutants?"

Raphael "No, we're the teenage mutant ninja-- Oh, never mind."

Krang "Well, whoever you are, you're too late. The power generators have overloaded. They're going to self-destruct."

Donatello "And you’d better go tell Shredder to redivert the coolant."

Krang "Are you insane? I'm putting as much distance between me and that thing as possible. Now move it, dim bulb."

Shredder "

[on the loud speaker attached to the Technodrome]

Destroy all mutants! Mutants are the enemy—my--my!"

Man "

[on loudspeaker, talking over the stuck tape recording]

We are experiencing technical difficulties. Our regular brainwashing will resume momentarily."

Raphael "Actually, this universe isn't too different from ours."

[The turtles go back to Channel 6.]

April "I told you guys to come back later!"

Donatello "There's no time to wait. The Technodrome will blow up if Shredder doesn't do something."

April "Oh, okay. Follow us. Shredder's office is this way."

Rocksteady "Hold it, mutant wimps."

Raphael "You again? We already sent you to the cleaners."

Rocksteady "Yeah, well, we're back again, dirtier than ever."

[They begin shooting.]

Donatello "Aerial attack."

[He uses his staff as a pole vault. It breaks in half and he lands at their feet.]

Leonardo "I'll take care of them!"

[He pulls his swords, but the blades shoot out of the handles and stick into the ceiling. Michelangelo pulls his grappling hook but as he swings the rope, the hook flies off.]

Michelangelo "What's going on? Or coming off?"

Raphael "Even our weapons are falling apart in this world."

Donatello "What do you expect? It's Shredderville."

Rocksteady "Ha ha ha! Now we got you."

[Part of the ceiling breaks loose and lands on them. The turtles, April, and Irma run past them.]

Donatello "Come on! Take us to Shredder's office before it's too late."

[They stop outside of ornate double doors.]

April "This is Shredder's office, but no one's ever gotten beyond those doors."

Donatello "

[pounds on a door]

Solid bronze. And a foot thick."

Michelangelo "End of the road, dudes. No way we're gonna break down these doors.

[He pounds on them with his shoulder and they suddenly collapse.]

Well, maybe one way."

[They enter the room, which is completely black.]

April "It's so dark in here."

Irma "Yeah, so I see."

Shredder "What fool dares disturb the all-powerful Shredder?"

Leonardo "Let's see, there should be one here somewhere."

Shredder "Do not touch that! I forbid it!"

[Leonardo finds a light switch. The light comes on and they see Shredder behind a desk. He pounds a cassette recorder, which was playing his amplified voice.]

Leonardo "Shredder?"

Shredder "I told you not to touch that.

[The tape unspools and tangles him up.]

Oh, nothing works around here. Why are you mutants here?"

Donatello "To warn you to divert the coolant back to the Technodrome before it goes kablooey."

Shredder "I've only got two hands. Look at all these repair requests! Everything is broken."

Irma "Tell me about it! You should see my hair dryer."

Shredder "You think being emperor of the world is easy? Oh, it's giving me an ulcer."

Donatello "Oh, great! We want to get back to our world, where you don't rule."

Shredder "A world where I don't rule? Oh, please, take me with you, please!"

[He throws himself down on his knees in front of Donatello. The room starts shaking and a wall collapses.]

Raphael "Look out, the whole side of the building is gone!"

Shredder "That's it, I abdicate the throne!"

Raphael "Not if I can help it!"

[He starts to chase after the Shredder, but Leonardo stops him.]

Leonardo "Never mind Shredder. Look at the Technodrome!"

Donatello "It's about to explode!"

[The turtles all yell as the floor under them collapses. They are clinging to what’s left of it.]

Michelangelo "Yo, dudes, I think I'm losing my grip!"

Raphael "I could have told you that."

[Irma and April grab Donatello and Raphael’s wrists and try to pull them up.]

Irma "Come on, you guys, you can do it."

Donatello "I-I'm trying."

April "Get up, Donatello. Get up!"

Donatello "I--I can't."

[Splinter shakes his arm, trying to wake him.]

Splinter "Get up, Donatello. Get up. Donatello, get up."

Donatello "Oh, what happened? Am I okay?"

Leonardo "Did the Technodrome blow up?"

Raphael "Did April and Irma get away?"

Michelangelo "And what happened to Emperor Shredder?"

Donatello "We're in the lair. It was all a dream!"

Michelangelo "A dream?"

Leonardo "The same one?"

Splinter "Well, my turtles, if you shared the same dream, I hope you all learned the same lesson."

All "We know! Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it."

Splinter "Precisely."

[End Credits]

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-{{qline|{{qline|narr=1|i=1|Opening sequence and theme song.}}
+{{qline|narr=1|i=1|Opening sequence and theme song.}}
 ----{{qline|narr=1|i=1|Episode begins inside the [[Turtle Lair (1987 TV series)|turtles’ lair]]. Splinter is reading until he hears his son’s voice.}}
 {{qline|{{1987link|Michelangelo}}|Total bummer, dudes.}}