[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Open on a night sky and then pan down to the Turtle Lair. On television, reporter April O’Neil is conducting an interview.]
April O'Neil "This is April O'Neil at the Top Notch Scientific Corporation talking with Dr. Winston Sturdley about his latest invention, the Sonic Disintegrator. Tell us how it works, Doctor."
Winston Sturdley "It uses ultra-high frequency sound waves to reduce solid metal to powder. Allow to me demonstrate.
I'll be darned. I lose more watches that way.
Oh, dear-- Oh!"
[He activates the machine and it disintegrates his watch.]
I'll be darned. I lose more watches that way.
[The table disintegrates and he catches his device before it falls.]
Oh, dear-- Oh!"
April "Uh-hah. This is April O'Neil for Channel 6 News, signing off."
[Raphael turns off the TV.]
Donatello "A sonic disintegrator? What would anyone do with that?"
Michelangelo "What a dweeb. Building a gizmo that just destroys stuff. [He stretches and knocks over a lamp.] Oops."
Leonardo "I've got a feeling we’d better head over to Top Notch Scientific and keep on eye on that invention."
Michelangelo "What for?"
Raphael "Well, every time April does a report about some new scientific breakthrough, Shredder sees it, too, and shows up to steal it."
Donatello "You know, Raphael's right. There is something of a pattern there."
Leonardo "And that Sonic Disintegrator is just the sort of thing they could put to some terrible use. Come on!"
[The Turtles leave the lair. Soon, they are inside Top Notch Scientific and hiding in the lab.]
Raphael "Well, this is a laugh and a half."
Michelangelo "All-in-all, dudes, I'd rather be home in a cool sewer with a warm pizza."
Donatello "Do you think we over-reacted this time?"
Leonardo "I don't think so. Listen."
[The doorknob starts rattling, the door shakes, and then slams open to admit some shadowy figures.]
Leonardo "This is it. It's them."
[The Turtles leap out of hiding. One of the intruders flips on the light switch.]
Leonardo "Big Louie and his gang?"
Raphael "Swell. We're here at the right time but it's the wrong guys."
Big Louie "The Turtles! Nail 'em, boys."
[His two goons begin firing lasers at the Turtles, who shout and jump out of the way.]
Raphael "I gotta tell ya, I think I would've preferred Shredder."
Big Louie "You doity toitles, it's coitains for you, see?"
Raphael "Wow, this guy's been watching way too many '30s gangster movies."
Michelangelo "Let's get those goofazoids!
I'll take that."
[He spins his Turtle Line as one of the men turn to fire at him.]
I'll take that."
[The Turtle Line wraps around the weapon and yanks it from the goons’ hand.]
Goon "Hey!"
[Raphael leaps on his back and drives him to the floor.]
Raphael "Can I quote you on that?"
[Another goon fires at Donatello and Leonardo. Donatello draws his bō.]
Donatello "My turn!"
[He throws the staff. The goon continues firing, hitting the bō and destroying three-quarters of it before the rest of the staff enters the laser barrel. The laser blows up in the goons’ hand.]
Donatello "Ha! Works every time."
Leonardo "But you never tried that before."
Donatello "Well, so? Every time I've tried it, it's worked.
Whoa!"
[The goon pounces on him.]
Whoa!"
Raphael "Uh-huh. That's what you get for showing off."
Donatello "Well, don't just stand there, help me!"
Raphael "Nice to be needed.
Uh, excuse me? Hi.
Don't you think it's time you cracked a few books?"
[He taps the goon on the shoulder.]
Uh, excuse me? Hi.
[He lifts the goon overhead.]
Don't you think it's time you cracked a few books?"
[He throws the man into a bookcase. Leonardo and Michelangelo tie up the other goon.]
Leonardo "Hey, where's Big Louie?"
Michelangelo "That big chicken. He split."