[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Episode begins with the turtles, wearing their disguises, leaving a pizzeria. Each one is carrying a very small box.]
Raphael "Oh, great suggestion, Donatello."
Michelangelo "Yeah, dude. Next time you want to go to Pick-a-Peck-o-Pizza, include us out."
Leonardo "I've never seen such tiny pizzas."
Michelangelo "This must be how that McDonald Crump dude got to be a multi-bazillionaire."
Raphael "Some claim to fame, owning the chintziest chain of pizza parlors in the world."
Michelangelo "Rip off city. From now on, I'm gonna stick to good old Vinnie's."
Donatello "Oh, but Vinnie doesn't give away these free scratch-off contest cards.
Oh, look! Look, guys, I won a prize! I won... I won another one of these puny pizzas?"
[Scratches his card and gasps.]
Oh, look! Look, guys, I won a prize! I won... I won another one of these puny pizzas?"
Leonardo "Oh, me too."
Michelangelo "Me three. That's not a prize. It's a punishment."
Raphael "Not me. I won a real prize. A free pass to McDonald Crump's big birthday cruise!"
Leonardo "Forget it, Raphael. You can't just mix in with a bunch of humans."
Raphael "Hold the phone, maybe I can! It says here it's a costume party, and I have a great idea for a costume."
[The turtles and Master Splinter are joined at the lair by April O’Neil.]
Michelangelo "Totally righteous, dude!"
April "A wonderful costume, Raphael."
Michelangelo "Radical notion; going to a costume party as a ninja turtle!"
Splinter "Sometimes the simplest solution is the best."
April "Oops, I'd better get going. I'm covering the party for Channel 6 news."
Raphael "See ya’ at the Marina, April."
April "I hope I'll recognize you in your costume."
[She giggles and leaves. Later, the turtles peek out through a sewer manhole to check the area around the dock.]
Raphael "There it is! McDonald Crump's yacht!"
Donatello "Okay, Raphael, the coast is clear. I finally get to say that."
Raphael "I hope I can pull this off."
Donatello "Don't worry. You'll fit right in. Look!"
[The see a guy in a turtle costume going up the plank.]
Raphael "Oh, brother."
April "The city's movers and shakers are all here for McDonald Crump's spectacular birthday bash, including McDonald Crump himself. Tell us, why do you throw such lavish parties?"
McDonald Crump "Well, April, so that I can tell everyone about the lavish pizzas at Pick-a-Peck-o-Pizzas!"
April "Right. And thank you very much, Mr. Crump."
[Crump walks away. Vernon, who’s been acting as the cameraman, scoffs.]
Vernon "I thought we were doing a news show, not a commercial."
April "That's okay, Vernon. Maybe we'll have better luck with the guests. There should be some big celebrities here. Look, there's Raphael!"
Vernon "Oh, Raphael the rock star? Or Raphael the movie actor?"
April "Raphael the turtle. All set for the cruise, Raphael?"
Raphael "Yeah, and the best part is, being green, no one can tell if I'm sea sick."
[Suddenly, a female lizard throws herself into Raphael’s arms.]
Mona Lisa "Oh, there you are! Oh, am I glad to see you again! I almost didn't make it."
Raphael "Ha... Have we met?"
Mona Lisa "You're such a kidder. Come on, we don't wanna be late."
Vernon "Hmm."
Raphael "Uh, do you always go on cruises and pick up strange reptiles-- er, uh, boys--men?"
Mona Lisa "Shh. Pretend I'm your date. Do you have a ticket?"
Raphael "What, you mean this?"
Mona Lisa "Perfect! Just what we'll need."
[She takes the ticket from him and then pulls him along to the head of the line and presents the ticket to the man at the yacht entrance.]
Mona Lisa "Here you go. Oh, thanks. You're a doll. We're in a big hurry.
That's for helping me. You're kind of a doll, too. By the way, love your costume."
[She pulls Raphael around a corner once they’re aboard and kisses his cheek.]
That's for helping me. You're kind of a doll, too. By the way, love your costume."
[She leaves him.]
Raphael "No, I-- Hold on! I don't even know your name."
[He looks around for her but she’s vanished. April continues her report from aboard the yacht.]
April "The party is in full swing as we pull out of the harbor. I must admit, McDonald Crump really knows how to throw a party."
Crump "Get down, everybody! Let's do the Peck-o-Pasta! Er, uh, Piece-of-Pesto! Um--My pizza restaurant's twist!"
Vernon "Ooh, all that talk about pizza is making me nauseous. If you need me, I'll be here at the rail."
April "So, Raphael, who was the cute young lady?"
Raphael "That's what I'm wondering. She used me to con her way onboard the yacht, then boom, disappeared."
April "Maybe she's playing hard to get."
Raphael "Well, something tells me she's not playing at all. I'm gonna go look for her.
Oh, pardon me. Excuse me. Coming through."
[He maneuvers his way through the crowd.]
Oh, pardon me. Excuse me. Coming through."
[He bumps into a man wearing a turtle costume with a purple headband.]
Fake Turtle "Oof! Some people have absolutely no originality. If you had any decency, you'd remove that cheap imitation of my costume immediately!"
Raphael "Sorry, fella, I've grown sort of attached to it."
Fake Turtle "Well, you could at least stay on the other side of the ship."
[Raphael continues searching. He sees the door to the bridge is partway open.]
Raphael "Hmm. I wonder if...
What are you doing?"
[He enters and sees Mona Lisa tying up the bridge crew.]
What are you doing?"
Mona Lisa "There's no time to explain."
Raphael "Well, I'll help you make time. I'm tired of being kept in the dark."
Mona Lisa "Then I'll just throw a little light on the subject."
[She jumps up and kicks a decorative ship steering wheel loose from the ceiling.]
Raphael "What? I thought I was supposed to have the clever remarks."
[The wheel lands on Raphael and he’s trapped in its middle.]
Mona Lisa "If I don't change our course, we'll all be trading one-liners with Davy Jones."
[She starts working levers. Raphael breaks free.]
Raphael "Forget it! You're not changing anything!
Okay, Mata Hari, come clean."
[He jumps on Mona Lisa and pins her to the floor.]
Okay, Mata Hari, come clean."
Mona Lisa "The name is Mona Lisa, and you've got to let me get to the wheel before—"
[There is an electronic humming noise and the yacht tilts. Raphael, Mona Lisa, and the two crewmen slide across the floor.]
Mona Lisa "It's too late."
[Raphael jumps up and looks through the window. A golden light surrounds the yacht.]
Raphael "There's a beam of light holding the yacht!"
[The party guests express alarm. The water next to the yacht begins to churn and then a submarine rises to the surface. A skull and crossbones is painted on its side. A voice comes from inside the sub.]
Captain Filch "I beg to inform you that there's been a slight change in the scheduled entertainment. Ha, ha, ha!"
Raphael "The yacht's been grabbed by some sort of force field! And it's coming from that weird ship."
Mona Lisa "That's the Kleptofoil. And that's its commander, Captain Filch."
[Filch rises up from the submarine on a platform and then hops down onto a moving ramp. The ramp stretches from the submarine over to the yacht.]
Filch "Well, shiver me timbers. What a wealthy looking group of land-lubbers."
Crump "Exactly who are you? This is a private party!"
Filch "How right you are, my fine bucko! My private party! I've already sent my ransom demands to all the major newspapers."
Crump "Ransom demands? Guards, throw this man off the ship!"
Filch "My guards can beat your guards any day!"
[Giant, mutated anemones crawl onto the ship. They surround the guests and crew. Raphael and Mona Lisa look down on the action from a higher deck.]
Raphael "Those guys don't look very friendly."
Mona Lisa "Believe me, pal, they're not. Those are Captain Filch's mutant anemone slaves."
Raphael "Yeah, well, with anemone's like those, who needs friends?"
April "Vernon, why aren't you getting this on tape?"
Vernon "Oh, and get that awful pirate angry at me? No way."
April "Give me that camera.
Vernon, you are such a wimp."
[She takes it from him.]
Vernon, you are such a wimp."
Vernon "At least I'm a living wimp."
Filch "If anyone tries anything, he'll be thrown to the sharks."
Female Guest "Oh, now, Crumpy-wumpy, you naughty boy! Is this another one of your publicity stunts?"
Crump "N..No, honestly! This is for real!"
Filch "It may not be a stunt, but you'll certainly get lots of publicity.
You, with the camera, be sure to stay in focus. I want everyone to see what happens here. The world must learn to fear Captain Filch!"
[He spots April.]
You, with the camera, be sure to stay in focus. I want everyone to see what happens here. The world must learn to fear Captain Filch!"
Raphael "You knew Captain Filch was gonna be here, and you steered this yacht right into his trap."
Mona Lisa "No! I was trying to steer us away from him."
Raphael "Oh, yeah, sure. Tell me about it."
Mona Lisa "Oh, I wish the real ninja turtles were here. They'd know what to do."
[They hear growling sounds and peek out. Some of the mutant anemones are moving in their direction.]
Raphael "I know what to do when I see something that size coming toward me. Come on!"
Mona Lisa "Let's untie them, first."
[They release the two crewmen from their bonds and gags.]
Captain "What's going on here?"
Raphael "Well, I’d tell you, pal, but it would spoil the surprise."
[They hear growling. Raphael points to another exit and he and Mona Lisa quickly leave. The other door opens and the mutant anemones enter. They tie up the two crewmen.]
Captain "Oh, no, not again. My wife always said I'd be better off driving a bus."
[The anemone gags him. Raphael and Mona Lisa are running along the deck. They stop and each point in different directions and speak at the same time.]
Raphael "This way."
Mona Lisa "This way."
Raphael "Trust me on this. The guards are all up on the bow. We should go this way."
[They climb a ladder and start running again. They stop when they see an anemone heading their direction.]
Mona Lisa "Any more bright ideas?"
[The anemone growls. He’s joined by another. Raphael leaps into the open and grabs a deck chair.]
Raphael "Hi, you guys look a trifle stressed out. Have a seat."
[He throws the chair and them and knocks them down. Raphael and Mona Lisa run towards the felled mutants, but then another anemone rounds the corner. Raphael and Mona Lisa leap overboard and swim underwater before coming back up.]
Raphael "Wow, you swim like a fish."
Mona Lisa "You're no slouch yourself."
Raphael "Mona Lisa, there's something I have to tell you. I am one of the ninja turtles."
Mona Lisa "
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? I knew you'd come to rescue us!"
[gasps]
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? I knew you'd come to rescue us!"
[She grabs and hugs him.]
Raphael "Now I think she's finally catching on."
[On the yacht, the anemones have tied up all the guests except for April and Vernon.]
April "We've gotta find Raphael before we all get thrown to the fish!"
Vernon "Must you mention, ugh, seafood?"
[They are walking past a lifeboat when Raphael lifts the cover.]
Raphael "Psst! April, Vern! Hide in here."
[He lifts the cover higher so that April and Vernon can climb in. They see that Mona Lisa is there also.]
April "Oh, I see you found your friend in the mutant costume."
Mona Lisa "I'm afraid this isn't a costume. I am a mutant."
April "You're a what?"
Mona Lisa "I am a mutant. A mutant, just like Raphael. You don't believe me, do you? Well, let me tell you how it all happened."
Raphael "Oh, boy, I feel a flashback coming on."
Mona Lisa "I didn't always look like this."
[The screen shimmers and then Raphael interrupts the flashback.]
Raphael "Ah, there, yeah, see? I told you so."
[The flashback continues. It shows a human Mona Lisa working in a college lab.]
Mona Lisa "I used to be a normal college student. A physics major.
One day, on a field trip with some friends, our boat was boarded by Captain Filch."
[Shift to a boat on the ocean.]
One day, on a field trip with some friends, our boat was boarded by Captain Filch."
[Filch laughs and approaches the college students. All but Mona Lisa dive overboard.]
Mona Lisa "My friends managed to escape, but I was taken prisoner aboard his sub, the Kleptofoil. When he learned of my background in physics, he tried to convince me to help him. He planned to control the world through high-tech piracy. I played along, hoping to be able to thwart his evil plan."
[Mona Lisa enters the lab when it’s deserted.]
Mona Lisa "One night, I snuck down to the lab determined to destroy it. But something went wrong."
[She uses a mallet to pound on a machine. An overhead pipe expands and then bursts. The lab is flooded.]
Mona Lisa "I was caught in a backwash from the sub's nuclear power source and became the grotesque mutant I am today. And ever since I've been trying to stop Captain Filch from carrying out his scheme. But I have failed."
[Flashback ends.]
Raphael "Hey, I don't think you're a grotesque mutant. I think you're kind of cute."
Mona Lisa "Really?"
April "I hate to spoil this touching moment, but—"
Raphael "I know, I know. We have to save the world."
Mona Lisa "Wow! I always wanted to hear one of the real turtles say a line like that."
Raphael "Speaking of the real turtles...
Leonardo! Donatello! Michelangelo, come in!
Oh, no.
Double oh no.
What's that you say? You'd like to dance? Sorry, but my dance card is filled.
But we have many other enjoyable recreational activities on board the ship.
Like shuffleboard, for instance.
Bon voyage! Now, we'd better get moving before it slithers its way back on board."
[He opens his turtlecom.]
Leonardo! Donatello! Michelangelo, come in!
[Water spurts out of the turtlecom.]
Oh, no.
[An anemone yanks the lifeboat cover off.]
Double oh no.
[The anemone grabs Raphael and sets him on the deck.]
What's that you say? You'd like to dance? Sorry, but my dance card is filled.
[He throws the anemone over his shoulder.]
But we have many other enjoyable recreational activities on board the ship.
[He grabs a shuffleboard cue-stick.]
Like shuffleboard, for instance.
[He slides the stick under the anemone and flings it overboard.]
Bon voyage! Now, we'd better get moving before it slithers its way back on board."
April "I'll sneak down to the radio room and try to contact the other turtles!"
Raphael "They'll never get to us if we don't shut off this force field."
Mona Lisa "Leave that to me, Raphael. You just create a diversion."
Vernon "Anyone mind if I just stay hidden in here?"
[He pulls the cover back over the lifeboat. Mona Lisa leaps into the water. On deck, Filch surveys his captives.]
Crump "Please, I'll give you anything you want. Money. Cars! Shares of stock in my Patch-a-Pato-- I mean, Pop-a-Poopa--I mean, my pizza chain! Just please, let us go."
Filch "Never! The world will pay its respects to Captain Filch, the greatest buccaneer to ever sail the seven seas."
Raphael "I'd rather pay you your last respects, bucko!
You haven't reckoned with Long John Turtle! Avast, ye swab, and prepare to meet me trusty blades!
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all."
[He swings down from an upper deck, both sai drawn. He’s wearing a blue pirate hat.]
You haven't reckoned with Long John Turtle! Avast, ye swab, and prepare to meet me trusty blades!
[Anemones surround him.]
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all."
Filch "Arr! It appears you are outnumbered, my friend."
Raphael "I could take over a ship, too, if I had fifty of these sea slug zombies helping me. Hi-ya!
Why don't we go one-on-one, Captain Filch? Man to mutant."
[He pulls free of the anemones and faces Filch.]
Why don't we go one-on-one, Captain Filch? Man to mutant."
[Filch laughs as the anemones grab Raphael and pull him back again.]
Filch "I'm afraid you're in no position to bargain. Tie him up!"
April "Help! Help!
I'm a member of the press, you overgrown sea weeds."
[Two anemones carry her onto the deck.]
I'm a member of the press, you overgrown sea weeds."
Filch "Well, well. If it isn't our little reporter friend. And where did my guards find you?
Trying to radio for help, eh? A waste of time! No one can penetrate my force field! But, since you enjoy sending messages, perhaps we can put your skills to good use. Take her back to the radio room! We'll give her something to signal about!"
[An anemone mumbles into his ear.]
Trying to radio for help, eh? A waste of time! No one can penetrate my force field! But, since you enjoy sending messages, perhaps we can put your skills to good use. Take her back to the radio room! We'll give her something to signal about!"
[At the turtles’ lair, Michelangelo is on the couch watching a movie about a giant snail. Leonardo and Donatello stand behind the couch.]
Leonardo "Let's go, Michelangelo! Just because Raphael isn't here doesn't mean we can skip our evening workout!"
Michelangelo "Not yet, dudes! Bugzilla is about to cream the giant snail!"
Donatello "Splinter will cream us if we don't practice."
[The movie is interrupted by the news.]
Anchorman "We interrupt this cinematic masterpiece to bring you an important bulletin."
April "This is April O'Neil, reporting from onboard McDonald Crump's yacht."
Michelangelo "They're interrupting “Bugzilla versus the Snail Monster” to bring us party updates?"
April "The guests are all being held for ransom by Captain Phineas Filch. Unless two billion dollars ransom is paid immediately, all of us will be forced to walk the plank!"
Donatello "You think that's his idea of a party game?"
Michelangelo "We've been living in the sewers too long, dudes. Bobbing for apples has been replaced by walking the plank."
Leonardo "This is one party we'd better crash!"
Anchorman "We now return to our movie."
Michelangelo "Sorry, Bugzilla. Have to catch you on reruns."
[Back on the yacht, April is being held by two anemones and now has a gag over her mouth.]
Filch "Nicely done, Miss O'Neil. What a pity that will be your farewell appearance. To the plank with her!"
[April screams. Mona Lisa comes up from underwater. She climbs the handholds on the side of the submarine and sneaks inside.]
Mona Lisa "Now, to get to that force field and shut it off.
There it is! The force field control panel!
Uh-oh."
[She enters a lab.]
There it is! The force field control panel!
[She approaches the Force Field Generator but finds it’s guarded by anemones.]
Uh-oh."
[They start for her. Mona Lisa back flips and then leaps up to land on a desk.]
Mona Lisa "Ah!
What's the matter? Never seen a flying mutant before? Well, you're about to see one again."
[The anemones grumble.]
What's the matter? Never seen a flying mutant before? Well, you're about to see one again."
[She jumps high and catches an overhead pipe, then taunts the anemones in a sing-song voice.]
Mona Lisa "Nyah, nyah, nyah nyah nyah~ You can't get me~
Thanks, guys! Keep in touch."
[One of the anemones throws a chair at her, which she dodges. The chair hits the force field generator. It sparks and goes out.]
Thanks, guys! Keep in touch."
[She leaves the room, closing the door on the anemones. Below the yacht, sharks have begun swimming.]
Filch "Go on! Walk!
If you're waiting for a knight in shining armor to rescue you, forget it!"
[A tied-up April walks onto the plank.]
If you're waiting for a knight in shining armor to rescue you, forget it!"
Michelangelo "Cowabunga!"
[The turtles fly overhead in their turtle blimp. They slide down ropes.]
Donatello "We don't have knights in shining armor. How about turtles in slightly tarnished shells?"
Filch "Ha, ha, ha! You'll never break my force field!"
Michelangelo "Let's boogie, dudes!"
[They start swinging on the ropes and then the force field vanishes.]
Filch "What's happened? My force field is gone! Avast, me hearties! Prepare to repel boarders!"
[The anemones move forward to meet the turtles, who have dropped onto the deck, weapons drawn.]
Michelangelo "Pirate talk doesn't scare us, dude."
[Leonardo slices through the ropes binding Raphael.]
Raphael "Glad you could make it."
Donatello "Now you've got four of us to deal with."
[Mona Lisa climbs over the side and joins them on deck.]
Mona Lisa "Hey, what am I? Fish food?"
Michelangelo "Where did she come from?"
Raphael "Oh, you guys missed the flashback. I'll explain later. Right now, we've got other fish food to fry.
Hi-ya-ha! Why don't you go back where you came from?"
[He grabs a tarp and flings it over a pair of anemones.]
Hi-ya-ha! Why don't you go back where you came from?"
[Raphael shoves them overboard. A row of anemones line up to tackle Donatello. Michelangelo swings down on a rope and kicks the first one, who falls back and like dominoes, all of them fall.]
Michelangelo "Cowabunga! Whoa! Seven with one blow. Just call me the Brave Little Turtle."
Leonardo "Allow me."
[He uses his katana to cut the ropes holding a female guest.]
Female Guest "Oh, you're too kind. Oh, look out behind you!"
[An anemone comes up behind him and Leonardo kicks it over the side.]
Leonardo "Hya!"
Female Guest "Oh, thank you."
Leonardo "Oh, no. Thank you! You know, we'd make a great team."
[She giggles. The turtles continue throwing the anemones overboard.]
Mona Lisa "Now that you fellas have things under control, I've got a sub to destroy."
Raphael "Mona Lisa, no! It's too dangerous!"
Mona Lisa "Sorry, Raphael. This is personal."
Filch "Stop that girl!"
[An anemone grabs the man in the fake turtle costume.]
Fake Turtle "Will you be careful? This costume is rented!"
[Mona Lisa leaps overboard and swims to the submarine. She goes inside. Meanwhile, Raphael confronts Filch.]
Filch "Please! I'll share my power with ya’! We'll rule the world together!"
Raphael "Sorry, Captain.
You're all wet."
[Filch backs up and falls onto a deck chair.]
You're all wet."
[Donatello jumps up and lands on the back of the chair. It catapults Filch into the water. Inside the sub’s engine room, Mona Lisa makes a few adjustments.]
Mona Lisa "This oughta do it."
[Sparks shoot up. Watching from the deck, the turtles see smoke and flames rising from the submarine.]
Leonardo "Uh-oh! That sub is about to blow!"
Donatello "If we don't relocate, we'll all be particles!"
Leonardo "Come on, Donatello, we'll free the captain and the first mate!"
Donatello "What about Mona Lisa?"
Raphael "Don't worry about her. She can swim faster than this yacht. At least I hope she can."
[The yacht moves away, pulling the turtle blimp along with it. The sub starts exploding into pieces as Filch watches from the water.]
Filch "Arr! My submarine! My beautiful submarine!"
[Raphael tosses down a life preserver ring and catches Filch. He hauls him up out of the water. Two security guards take him into custody.]
April "It's too bad about Captain Filch. He could have been a great scientist."
Raphael "Yeah, he just went a little overboard."
Crump "I'd like to show my appreciation for all you've done. I'm going to make each of you a vice-president of the Pick-a-Peck-o-Pizza!"
Donatello "Really? Does that mean we could change the recipe?"
Raphael "And the size?"
Crump "Anything you want. You'll be vice-presidents, remember?"
Michelangelo "Whoa! Fantabuloso!"
Crump "Why don't you come and see me in my office when you get out of those ridiculous costumes?"
Raphael "Easy come, easy go."
[They climb the rope up to the blimp and take off. In the water, clinging to a board, Mona Lisa watches them leave.]
Mona Lisa "Isn't that just like a bunch of guys? Once they're bored, they leave you stranded."
[The turtles walk through the sewer tunnels to the lair. Raphael looks dejected.]
Michelangelo "Cheer up, dude."
Donatello "Yeah. Who knows, I'm sure we'll see Mona Lisa again someday."
Mona Lisa "Sooner than you think.
Now, hurry, you guys. These pizzas are getting cold."
[They turn in surprise and see Mona Lisa carrying several boxes. She’s followed by April.]
Now, hurry, you guys. These pizzas are getting cold."
Raphael "Mona Lisa!"
Michelangelo "Isn't it nice to see an old friend?"
Donatello "Yeah. Mona Lisa looks great."
Michelangelo "Mona Lisa? No, dude, I'm talking about the pizza. Hey, guys! Save some for me."
[End Credits]