[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Episode begins with the Technodrome stuck in Dimension X. It is partially embedded in the ground in a tropical area on some asteroid. There is debris around it and it is still being fired upon by General Traag’s troops, as it was in the previous episode “The Big Blow Out.”]
Krang "Stop, you fools! It's us! It's us! Oh, those idiots."
[Groaning, he stands up and shrugs the others off of him. The interior of the Technodrome is a mess and Krang’s android body has cracks in it. Krang and Shredder stand in an opening in the side of the Technodrome and look outside.]
Krang "How could they not recognize my Technodrome?"
Shredder "Where are we?"
Krang "Where else? Dimension X."
Rocksteady "This is Dimension X?"
Krang "Yes, and what's worse, we've landed in the icky part."
Bebop "Gee, it's beautiful."
Krang "We've got to get this place working again. Take your playmate and survey the damage."
[Bebop and Rocksteady enter a transport tube, but when Bebop presses the button, the control box falls off and the doors shatter.]
Bebop "Gee, I don't think these transporters are working."
Krang "Oh, great. That means we'll have to radio the nearest Rock soldier base for assistance."
Shredder "Arr! How can we radio for help if the radio doesn't work?"
Krang "Those stupid earthlings! This is all their fault! Why, you're an earthling. All earthlings must suffer!"
[He grabs Shredder’s shoulders and starts shaking him violently.]
Shredder "Wait, Krang! Save you vengeance for those who deserve it; those accursed turtles and their friends at Channel 6."
Krang "And how am I supposed to do that when none of our equipment works?"
Shredder "You still have the transwarp thrusters, do you not?"
Krang "Yes, of course! And with them, I can get the communications equipment we need. Shredder, you're brilliant."
Shredder "It's nice to be appreciated."
[Back on Earth, our heroes stand next to a large hole in the street which is right next to the Channel 6 news station building.]
Raphael "I don't believe it! We finally got rid of Shredder."
April O'Neil "And best of all, before he could get his evil hands on Channel 6's latest transmitting equipment."
Leonardo "Knowing him, he would've turned it into some powerful new weapon of destruction."
Michelangelo "Do you realize what this means, dudes?"
Raphael "Yeah. Turtles retire with honor."
Leonardo "I can resume my studies of the martial arts."
Donatello "I can get back to my inventions."
Michelangelo "I can get back to making pizzas."
Raphael "I don't know about you, but this turtle can use a well-deserved vacation. You know, London. Paris. Borneo. Some real fun."
[Later, in Burne Thompson’s office, April joins her boss and Vernon.]
April "Oh, Finally. At last, there'll be some peace in this city."
Burne Thompson "Peace? Who wants peace? Our viewers thrive on disasters."
Vernon "Burne is right. How are we going to fill our newscasts if no one's trying to conquer the planet?"
April "Looks like you'll just have to go back to covering pet shows, Vernon."
Vernon "Nonsense. Luckily, there's always crime in this town.
See what I mean?"
[A woman screams.]
See what I mean?"
[They look out of the window to see a thug trying to steal an old woman’s purse. The turtles witness this as well.]
Woman "Oh!"
Leonardo "Stop, punk!"
April "Wow! And there go our turtles!"
Thompson "Well, what are you waiting for? Go. Go, go, go, go, go!"
[On the Technodrome, Bebop and Rocksteady break down a door in order to get back to Krang with the thrusters they were sent to fetch.]
Krang "Splendid! With these transwarp thrusters, we can return to the earthlings' dimension and snag that Channel 6 transmitting equipment. All we need to do is get inside, place the four transwarp thrusters at the base of the Channel 6 building, and blast it like a rocket back here to Dimension X."
Shredder "We will make sure the turtles and their friends are in the building at the time. I shall have my vengeance! But wait! How can any of us sneak into Channel 6 undetected?"
Krang "That's easy. Bebop and Rocksteady will do it."
Shredder "For a talking brain, I think you've lost your mind. These two will stick out like a couple of sore thumbs."
Krang "Not when I get through with them."
[He presses a button but nothing happens, so he bangs on it and then marches over to the door he’s trying to open.]
Krang "The maintenance crew-- ach! Nothing ever works in this stupid place!
Holographic cloaking chamber! Hop in."
[He manages to pry to door open.]
Holographic cloaking chamber! Hop in."
[Rocksteady and Bebop stand on circular platforms.]
Rocksteady "This ain't gonna be like going to the dentist, is it?"
Krang "In a way, yes. You'll be a better person for it."
[He activates the machine.]
Shredder "This had better work, Krang."
Krang "It will. Just watch."
[An electrical charge courses through the machines, followed by a flash. When it clears, Bebop and Rocksteady appear in their previous human forms.]
Shredder "You--you undid their mutation!"
Krang "Not quite. It's merely an illusion."
Rocksteady "Yuck! I look awful!"
Bebop "No fair. I was just getting used to being a wart hog."
Krang "Relax. You're still your same old ugly selves. Look in that mirror."
[In the mirror, they appear as mutants.]
Rocksteady "Oh! What a relief."
Bebop "Yeah. I was really scared there for a minute."
Krang "You have exactly three hours in which to infiltrate Channel 6 and get the thrusters in place. After that, the cloaking wears off and you return to normal."
Shredder "Take this Pretendicon with you."
Bebop "Uh, what's a Pretendicon?"
Shredder "Something to help you lure the turtles to Channel 6. Then, make certain they're brought back here."
[Krang activates the thrusters, sending Bebop and Rocksteady flying.]
Krang "Now, go! And don't come back without that building!"
Rocksteady "Next time, I'm gonna insist we fly first class!"
[The portal opens for them and they fly through. At the turtles’ lair, Raphael and Splinter are watching a slide show of historic places.]
Raphael "Boy, look at all the great places. All I need now is my Amphibian Express card."
Splinter "Caution, Raphael. One should seek culture rather than credit."
Raphael "Master, we are culture. Mutant turtles, remember? Culture, we don't need. We need action, fun, relaxation."
Splinter "Hmm. Perhaps you will need credit."
[Elsewhere, Donatello works on a new invention.]
Donatello "This new pizza-flipping machine should work great.
After a few minor adjustments."
[It tosses up pizza dough, which hits the ceiling and then falls on his head.]
After a few minor adjustments."
[In the kitchen, Michelangelo works on a stack of pizzas.]
Michelangelo "All right, it's bake-off time! What? I don't believe it! Fellow dudes, we have got a crisis on our hands of epic proportions."
Leonardo "What is it, Michelangelo? Invaders from another planet?"
Donatello "Another evil ninja warlord trying to take over the world?"
Michelangelo "Worse! We're out of pepperoni!"
Raphael "I guess we're gonna have to go topside and buy some."
Leonardo "We'd better bring our weapons. Those streets are dangerous."
Raphael "Yeah, but at least Shredder and his goons aren't around to bother us anymore."
[A portal opens next to Channel 6 and Bebop and Rocksteady fly through. They hit the side of the building and slide down.]
Rocksteady "Whoa! Why'd they have to put that building right where we was going?"
Bebop "Come on, we gotta get inside and get those thrusters in place."
Rocksteady "Wait! First we gotta activate this here Pretendicon like Shredder told us to."
[They press a button and the small box transforms into a mini-robot.]
Pretendicon "What are your orders?"
Bebop "How the heck is that thing supposed to lure the turtles here?"
Rocksteady "Shredder showed me. Watch."
[He presses another button, the machine hums and then with a flash, changes into a Splinter lookalike.]
Pretendicon "Find the turtles. Find the turtles. Find the turtles. Find the turtles. Find the turtles."
[The Pretendicon leaves in search of the turtles.]
Bebop "Okay, now we have to put these thrusters in place."
Rocksteady "But first we've gotta get some new duds. Ooh, ooh, look! There's a used clothing store. We can swipe some new threads there."
[Inside the store, the pair have changed into suits.]
Store Owner "Will that be check, cash, or credit card?"
Rocksteady "I think we'll use our Oblivion Express."
[He pulls a proton blaster on the owner. Elsewhere, the turtles, in disguises, walk down a street.]
Michelangelo "I don't believe it, dudes. Every pizza parlor in town is out of pepperoni."
Raphael "Yeah, they must be experiencing a severe sausage shortage. And don't ask me to say that again."
[They encounter a punk spray painting a wall. Raphael tosses him in a garbage dumpster.]
Cut it out, punk.
Donatello "Well, at least the street crime hasn't been too bad."
Raphael "Yeah; at this rate, we'll only have to fight crime four days a week."
[Another punk pulls a knife on them.]
Punk "Gimme your money."
Leonardo "I've got a better idea.
Give me your knife."
[He pulls a sword.]
Give me your knife."
Punk "It's yours."
Michelangelo "Whoa, this town is, like totally dull-o-rama since Shredder split the scene."
Raphael "Maybe it really is time to go to Europe, fellas."
[Bebop and Rocksteady enter the Channel 6 building, carrying the thrusters. A security guard stops them.]
Security Guard "May I see your passes?"
Bebop "Passes? We don't need no stinking passes."
Security Guard "I'm sorry, you can't enter this area unless you work here."
Bebop "Why, I ought to—"
Rocksteady "Easy, Bebop, dearest chum. That's just it, your honor. I mean, your guardness. We were looking for the place where they hire suckers to work here."
Security Guard "Oh! You want personnel. Right down that corridor."
[Both are seated in the personnel office.]
Interviewer "Education?"
Rocksteady "I've got four years of science school."
Interviewer "Yes, and what did you study?"
Rocksteady "Nothin'. They studied me."
Bebop "Hey, enough stupid questions. Just give us a crummy job."
[He pulls a proton blaster on the interviewer, but Rocksteady uses his blaster to shoot Bebop’s out of his hand.]
Rocksteady "Bebop, old buddy, the first rule of business etiquette is to never threaten your superior with a proton blaster."
Interviewer "Yes, well, you both seem aggressive and highly motivated. I think we have just the position for you."
Bebop "You do?"
Interviewer "Yes. And if you work hard, you'll soon be cleaning up."
Rocksteady "Oh, boy!"
Bebop "We will?"
Interviewer "You are now the official Channel 6 janitors."
Rocksteady "Heh!"
Bebop "Why'd you stop me from teaching that wimp a lesson?"
Rocksteady "Because, you lamebrain, doing janitor type stuff is sure to take us to the basement, where we can plant these things."
Bebop "Oh. Good thinking."
Rocksteady "But there's one little thing that stands in our way."
Bebop "What's that?"
Rocksteady "Um, which way is the basement?"
[Meanwhile, the Pretendicon is walking the streets looking for the turtles. It plows over or through any obstacle in its path.]
Pretendicon "Find the turtles. Find the turtles."
[Bebop and Rocksteady approach a double door.]
Rocksteady "Ooh, ooh! Maybe the basement's in there!
Hey, looky! It's the schedule of all of Channel 6's programs."
[They crash through the door and into a planning room.]
Hey, looky! It's the schedule of all of Channel 6's programs."
Bebop "Boy, that's pretty stupid. They've got ‘Kung Fu Kiddy Cartoons’ on at three in the morning."
Rocksteady "What? But that's my favorite show! That puppy oughta be on in prime time."
[The pair start moving things around on the bulletin board.]
Bebop "Good idea. Now we can move ‘Bowling for Bucks’ into prime time too. It's one show that really makes you think."
Rocksteady "Yeah. And it's the perfect lead in for ‘My Mother the Tank’."
Thompson "What in blazes is going on here?"
Vernon "You two are supposed to be cleaning up. What are you doing?"
Bebop "We was just fine-tuning the schedule. A little."
Vernon "Fine-tuning? You've destroyed it! Get out of here, the both of you! You're fired!"
Thompson "Wait! Whose idea was it to program the six o’clock news at noon?"
[Bebop and Rocksteady point at each other.]
Both "Um, his."
Thompson "That's brilliant planning! We'll get the jump on all the other stations! You two are geniuses. I'm making you our V.P.’s in charge of programming."
[The Pretendicon bursts through a building’s wall and the billboard on top starts wobbling.]
Pretendicon "Find the turtles."
Michelangelo "No pepperoni anywhere! This is getting mondo ridiculoso."
Raphael "Yeah. Next time I wish the writers would come up with a better plot device."
Donatello "Hey, look! It's Splinter!"
Leonardo "Why do you suppose he left the lair?"
Michelangelo "I don't know, but he's about to get crushed!"
[They rush over and surround the Pretendicon, catching the billboard when it falls. The Pretendicon takes a knock on the head and falls down.]
Leonardo "Master Splinter, are you all right?"
Pretendicon "No set. Programming error."
Donatello "What's going on here?"
Raphael "Maybe that bump on the head made him think he's a computer."
[The Pretendicon suddenly jumps up and strikes all of the turtles, knocking them down.]
Pretendicon "Out of my way! I must explore this strange new world in which I find myself."
Leonardo "Master, wait!"
Michelangelo "He's gone totally gonzo!"
Raphael "We have to stop him for his own good!"
Leonardo "Master, you've gotta stop this."
[He shrugs them all off and sends them flying.]
All "Whoa!"
Raphael "We gotta stop Splinter before he hurts somebody!"
[Seated at desks in a fancy office, Bebop and Rocksteady are on their phones, issuing programming changes. The thrusters sit forgotten against the wall.]
Bebop "We are replacing all the cartoons with operas. The little kids could use some culture."
Rocksteady "I want to run nothing but commercials from eight to eleven every night. They're more fun to watch than most of the programs."
[Rocksteady’s phone rings immediately after he’s hung up and he answers it.]
Shredder "Rocksteady, Bebop! What do you two cretins think you’re doing?"
Rocksteady "Hello, boss. How did you get our private phone number?"
Shredder "Simple; I dialed "M" for moron. Have you placed the thrusters yet?"
Rocksteady "Uh, we can't find the basement."
Bebop "I guess that's why they made us vice-presidents."
Shredder "You brainless slugs! The basement is down, of course!"
[He hangs up on them.]
Rocksteady "We better hustle. Shredder's even a tougher boss than that Burne guy."
Bebop "Okay, as soon as I cancel a few more shows."
[Inside the Technodrome, Krang approaches Shredder.]
Krang "Have those mutton-headed minions of yours planted the thrusters yet?"
Shredder "No, and they haven't gotten the turtles, either."
Krang "Getting that equipment is more important than your petty revenge, Shredder."
Shredder "Wrong, Krang! Nothing matters more than my revenge!"
[Back at Channel 6, Rocksteady opens a door by using the doorknob and swinging it open.]
Rocksteady "See? That's how you open a door in polite society."
Bebop "Is this the basement?"
[They enter a studio. On stage are two people dressed in potato costumes. They are singing.]
Potatoes "I heard it through the potato vine~"
Rocksteady "Nah, it's where they tape ‘The Idaho Potatoes’."
Bebop "That bomb? I was just going to cancel it."
Rocksteady "Well, no wonder. Those guys don't know how to play a potato."
Bebop "Well, come on! Let's show 'em."
[They run up on stage, grab the potato costumes off the performers, and put them on.]
Rocksteady "You bozos are fired! From now on, we'll be the ‘Idaho Potatoes’."
April "What on Earth is going on?
Bebop and Rocksteady!"
[She looks through the camera viewing lens, which shows the pair in their mutant form.]
Bebop and Rocksteady!"
Bebop "April O'Neil! She found us out."
[They jump off the stage and grab her before she can get away.]
April "Aah!"
Bebop "Here's another show we can personally cancel!
All right, April O'Neil, now that we've got you, you're gonna lead us to—"
[Both mutants laugh.]
All right, April O'Neil, now that we've got you, you're gonna lead us to—"
Both "The basement!"
April "Never, never, never!
Well, maybe."
[They pick her up.]
Well, maybe."
Rocksteady "That's more like it."
[Cut to the park, where two people run screaming along a path. Behind them is a giraffe.]
People "Help! Help! Aah!"
Michelangelo "Look, dudes! Somebody must have lost their pet giraffe."
[They hear an elephant’s cry and see a lion run out of the entrance to the zoo.]
Raphael "Lost, nothing. Splinter must be in the zoo!"
[The Pretendicon is in a pond in the hippo enclosure. He is pushing on a hippo.]
Pretendicon "Come, my friend! I'm here to save you from your slavery so you can once again rule this planet!"
Leonardo "Master Splinter, no!"
Pretendicon "You dare interfere with my sacred mission to restore the animals to their rightful position of supremacy?"
[It jumps out of the water, grabs Raphael, and throws him over the fence and into a food truck.]
Raphael "Ahhh! Ow!"
[April leads Bebop and Rocksteady through the Channel 6 corridors.]
April "The basement's in there."
Rocksteady "Oh, goody! At last."
[When they turn to look at the door, April drives into a cleaning closet. She places a call on her turtlecom.]
April "Guys, it's April!"
Splinter "You have the wrong frequency, April. This is Splinter."
April "Find the turtles, Splinter.
I'm in deep trouble. I'm—"
[Rocksteady bangs on the door.]
I'm in deep trouble. I'm—"
[Rocksteady breaks open the door and grabs April.]
Rocksteady "Nice try, lady. Now, take us to that basement, pronto."
[Raphael stands up inside the food truck. He is covered in condiments.]
Raphael "Master Splinter or not, I'm getting a trifle fed up with this."
[Donatello climbs into the truck and gets behind the wheel.]
Donatello "If he runs away again, we'll have to follow him. I'll see if I can hot wire this roach coach."
[The Pretendicon grabs Leonardo and Michelangelo and throws them to the ground.]
Pretendicon "Hup."
[Raphael leaps over the fence to join his brothers. Leonardo’s turtlecom beeps.]
Splinter "Turtles, I fear April is in serious trouble!"
Leonardo "Not now, Master Splinter. We've got to deal with Master Splinter!"
All "Master Splinter!"
Michelangelo "Then who's that dude?"
Splinter "You must help April."
Leonardo "Where is she?"
Splinter "I don't know, but hurry!"
[The turtles look over to where the Pretendicon is trying to remove cage bars and free a tiger.]
Leonardo "It's some kind of robot!"
Raphael "A robot? Donatello, let him have it."
Donatello "One "it," coming up."
[He leaps out of the food truck, which speeds towards the Pretendicon.]
Pretendicon "Soon, my brothers, you will be free. Aah!"
[It sees the truck and runs. The truck hits a hill, flies up, and lands right on top of the Pretendicon. It staggers out of the back sans the Splinter disguise and collapses into pieces.]
Leonardo "Now to find April."
[At Channel 6, Bebop and Rocksteady, with April in tow, reach their destination.]
Rocksteady "Finally, we found the basement. Now all we got to do is position the—"
Both "We forgot the thrusters!"
Rocksteady "You go back to our office and get ‘em."
[Bebop enters their office and picks up the phone.]
Bebop "The boss will be so pleased.
Get me Dimension X."
[He grabs the phone.]
Get me Dimension X."
Shredder "Yes?"
Bebop "Boss, the Turtles are here."
Shredder "The Turtles? This is even better than I dreamed!"
Krang "Never mind the Turtles! What about the thrusters?"
Bebop "We're about the put ‘em in place."
Krang "Well, hurry! Your disguises will wear off in a matter of minutes."
[The turtles stand in front of Vernon, who is seated with his feet up on his desk.]
Vernon "April? The last time I saw her, she was heading for the basement with a couple of guys dressed in potato suits."
Raphael "Is this some hot, new fashion trend we're missing out on?"
Leonardo "Let's get to the basement and find out!"
[Bebop finishes placing the thrusters in the basement.]
Bebop "There, that's the last of these gizmos."
Rocksteady "Make yourself comfy, lady.
It's gonna be a long flight."
[He shuts April in a locker.]
It's gonna be a long flight."
Donatello "You fellas haven't seen April O'Neil, have you?"
Bebop "Who, me? Heck, no. I never could see her."
[Muffled shouting comes from inside the locker. At the same time, the holographic cloaking starts to fade.]
Rocksteady "Uh-oh! The disguise is wearing off, just like Krang said it would!"
Turtles "You!"
Rocksteady "Yeah, us! Wanna make something of it?"
Raphael "You bet your bad breath we do!"
Rocksteady "Ooh, I'll handle them! You fire up those thrusters. Graa!"
[He throws a barrel at Leonardo and Raphael, knocking them down. Bebop activates the thrusters, which hum and light up.]
Donatello "Those things must be some kind of propulsion device."
[The Channel 6 building rips off its moorings and shoots upwards. Bebop and Rocksteady shoot at the turtles with their proton blasters.]
Donatello "We've got to hold those goons off 'til I can figure a way to shut those things down."
[Leonardo grabs a fire hose.]
Leonardo "Michelangelo, hose them!"
Both Mutants "Oof!"
[Leonardo and Raphael throw their weapons and pin the two mutants to the wall.]
Rocksteady "Hey, no fair!"
[Donatello turns off a thruster.]
Donatello "Oh, that was easy.
No, it wasn't."
[The building tilts to one side and he slams into the wall.]
No, it wasn't."
[Leonardo crawls over to another thruster.]
Donatello "Get it, Leonardo!"
[Leonardo shuts off the thruster and the building rights itself. April tumbles out of the locker.]
Raphael "Hang on, April!"
Donatello "Now!"
[He and Leonardo shut off the last two thrusters simultaneously. The building falls back into place.]
Donatello "Now to destroy these things!"
[Rocksteady and Bebop yank the thrusters out of their hands.]
Rocksteady "Oh, no, you don't. Those are Krang's property."
Donatello "Thanks for telling us. We believe in returning things to their rightful owners."
Raphael "Ciao, bambinos."
[He activates the thrusters and the two mutants shoot through the roof of the building. Back in the Technodrome...]
Krang "Soon I will have the Channel 6 building and all that equipment."
Shredder "Soon, I will have the turtles and vengeance."
[Bebop and Rocksteady shoot into the Technodrome and smash into Krang and Shredder.]
Krang "You didn't get the building?"
Shredder "You didn't get the turtles?"
Bebop "Uh, no boss, but we got something even better."
Rocksteady "We got great ratings."
[The mutant family are all together again in the turtles’ lair.]
Splinter "The events of today prove that Shredder can still threaten us from Dimension X. We cannot afford to lower our guard."
Leonardo "So much for our vacation."
Michelangelo "Hey, amigos, speaking of vacations, I just got this letter from Vacations-R-Us.
I don't believe it! Dudes, check this out! "You have just won an all-expense paid trip for you and four of your best buds to Europe, courtesy of Greasy Eddie's European Pizza.""
[He opens the letter.]
I don't believe it! Dudes, check this out! "You have just won an all-expense paid trip for you and four of your best buds to Europe, courtesy of Greasy Eddie's European Pizza.""
Raphael "What do you know about that? Michelangelo is gonna see the leaning tower of Pizza."
Donatello "I just hope he doesn't eat it."
Leonardo "Europe, here we come!"
Raphael "Mona Lisa, watch out!"
Donatello "The Eiffel Tower's gonna get some turtle power."
[They all cheer.]
[End Credits]