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[Opening sequence and theme song.]


[Episode opens in the turtles’ lair with Raphael, Leonardo, and Donatello tossing a basketball around as Master Splinter watches.]

Raphael "Magic Johnson, eat your heart out."

[He does some tricks with the ball and then tosses it to Donatello, who jumps for it and hits the wall with his shell.]

Donatello "Oomp!"

Splinter "Careful, my turtles."

Leonardo "Don't worry, Master. Our ninja moves will protect us from injury."

Splinter "But who will protect the furniture from you?"

Donatello "Pass it to me, Leonardo. I'm open."

[Michelangelo enters carrying a pizza. The ball hits the tray and splatters the pizza in his face.]

Michelangelo "Ooh! Oh, major bummer, dudes. You just ruined a perfectly good gumdrop chocolate chip pizza."

Leonardo "Never mind that. Get the ball before it...
[The ball bounces off the TV set, turning it on.]

hits something?
"

April O'Neil "This is April O'Neil, coming to you from the Uptown Museum, where a brand-new exhibit has just opened. The Marble Army of General Chin Chang, identical marble warriors from the Ying Dynasty of China, two thousand years ago and all of them created to protect the greatest of the Emperor's treasures-- this jade dragon, holding the world's largest pearl-- and General Chang here."

[Vernon is backing up and trips on his camera cord. He knocks over a lighting pole, which smashes against the statue of General Chang. The statue begins to glow.]

Vernon "Oops!"

April "Isn't this the most exquisite pearl you've ever seen?"

Raphael "Ha! Dames go wacky over the weirdest things. It's nothin' but a piece of shiny rock."

Donatello "Not a rock. It's the calcareous secretion of a marine bivalve."

Michelangelo "Ohh, thanks for grossing me out, dude."

Donatello "Chill out, Michelangelo. It's only an oyster."

Leonardo "A thing like that comes from an oyster?"

Splinter "My students, there are mysteries in nature we know little about."

[April’s report continues. On the asteroid in Dimension X, Krang and Shredder watch the report on the display screen inside the Technodrome.]

April "The marble army and the world's largest pearl will be on display only for a short time, so hurry on down to see them. You'll be glad you did."

Krang "Indeed I will, Miss O'Neil. Did you hear that, Shredder?"

Shredder "So, what's so important about some worm-eaten old statues?"

Krang "I happen to know that they're carved from an extremely rare ionically charged marble."

Shredder "I'm sure geologists everywhere are thrilled."

Krang "Didn't you see that statue flicker to life for an instant? If I run the correct electrical charge through the ionically charged marble, I can bring life to General Chang's stone soldiers, turning them into an army of invincible slaves."

Bebop "Uh, gee, you mean we won't be able to see them?"

Shredder "Not invisible. Invincible!"

Krang "And more importantly, that giant pearl is of incredible purity."

Shredder "Meaning?"

Krang "It will magnify an electrical charge to such an intensity as to create the most powerful force field beam ever known, powerful enough to pull this Technodrome back to Earth. Take these activator devices and those mutants of yours to the museum and test them out on that statue at once."

[Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady fall through the portal directly into the museum.]

Rocksteady "Whoa!"

Bebop "Ooh!"

Shredder "Ow! Good. This is General Chang's statue. Help me attach the activator device."

Bebop "Uh, right, boss."

Shredder "Now bring it to life."

[He presses a button on the control mechanism and there’s an electrical flash around the statue. It moves, pulling a sword and marching towards the two mutants.]

Shredder "It works!"

Bebop "Yeow!"

Rocksteady "Yeow!"

[They run from the statue and leap into two large decorative pots, which immediately shatter. The statue marches back to Shredder and then stops.]

Shredder "It's safe to come out now you sniveling cowards!"

Bebop "Uh, are you sure?"

Shredder "Now, listen. I want you to descend into the sewers and find the turtles."

[He hands the controller to Rocksteady.]

Rocksteady "Uh, the turtles? Now you're talkin'. What do we do then?"

Shredder "Let the General here finish them off."

[Rocksteady activates the controller and the statue marches off.]

Rocksteady "Now, this is gonna be fun."

[Back at the lair, the turtles continue to play basketball.]

Michelangelo "Please, Sensei, we need you. What good's a four-man basketball team?"

Splinter "I fear I'm not good at Western pastimes."

Leonardo "Come on, Master Splinter. Let us teach you the way you've taught us."

Splinter "Well, perhaps there might just be a lesson in this diversion."

All "Ha ha! All right, Sensei!"

Leonardo "Your weapon, Master Splinter."

[He tosses the ball to Splinter, who starts dribbling it.]

Donatello "Yeah, that's it! Keep it up!"

Michelangelo "Whoa! Most excellent moves!"

[Splinter evades his sons and then dribbles out of the lair and into the sewers.]

Leonardo "Master Splinter! Wait for us!"

[Krang watches on the viewing screen as Shredder attaches activator devices to the marble warriors in the museum.]

Krang "Can't you go any faster?"

Shredder "Don't rush me! There's only one of me and a whole army of them!"

Krang "What about those turtles? I don't want them interfering again!"

Shredder "Never fear. I've already sent them a sewer surprise they won't forget. Ha ha ha!"

Krang "Hmm. For once, you might actually carry out a task successfully."

Shredder "Why, thank you, Krang."

Krang "Yeah, and I might begin to like broccoli!"

[He deactivates the viewing screen. Shredder mumbles to himself.]

Shredder "Yeah, well, if this really works, I might not need my little fat-head friend, either."

[In the sewers, Splinter still has control of the basketball. He dunks the ball in the basket mounted on the brick wall, despite the turtles defense.]

Donatello "Uh, Sensei, you beat us nine out of ten games. Aren't you getting tired yet?"

Splinter "Perhaps I have learned all I can about basketball for today."

Michelangelo "Far out. Let's go home and crash."

Splinter "An excellent suggestion because tomorrow we must awaken early in order to practice lay-ups."

Raphael "Oh, Sensei, have mercy!"

Bebop "Attention, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!"

Donatello "Who said that?"

Raphael "That voice sounds awfully familiar."

[General Chang’s statue marches towards them, sword at the ready.]

Bebop "I am Peking Duck, the greatest kung-fu warrior of all time."

Leonardo "It's one of the statues from April's broadcast!"

Bebop "I challenge you soft-shell turtles to a duel to the finish."

Raphael "Peking Duck, my shell! Now I recognize that voice!"

[Bebop and Rocksteady leap from their hiding spot behind the statue.]

Bebop "That's right, green teen. It's me, Bebop."

Rocksteady "And me, Rocksteady."

Raphael "Yeah, I knew it; the gruesome twosome."

Leonardo "Let's teach those mutants a lesson!"

[He engages the statue in a sword fight.]

Donatello "That statue is alive!"

Michelangelo "Well, it won't be for long."

[He spins his turtle grappling hook as Leonardo steps back, breathing hard.]

Leonardo "Be my guest."

[The statue also has a grappling hook. Their grappling hooks collide in mid-air and Michelangelo’s shatters.]

Michelangelo "Unbelievable!"

Donatello "I'll handle this. Yee-aah!
[He leaps up to kick the statue in the chest with both feet, but bounces off and crashes into the wall.]

 Umhh! Ohh, that guy's made out of solid rock.
"

Bebop "Yeah, just like your head."

Raphael "Well, looks like it's all up to me.
[He pulls his sai. The statue throws his own sai, and knocks Raph’s weapons from his hands.]

Hey! Heyuh—
"

Rocksteady "Neener, neener, neener. The shellbacks met their match."

Bebop "Ha ha! Yeah. There'll be turtle soup for everyone tonight."

Rocksteady "Yeah!"

Bebop "Oh, boy. Ain't this neat?"

Rocksteady "This guy Chang's about to make an ancient Chinese recipe, Turtle Kabob. Ha ha."

[The statue shoots arrows at Leonardo, but he bats each of them aside with his sword.]

Leonardo "I’d make that mutant meat loaf."

Rocksteady "Better give up, turtles."

[Raphael dodges each of the arrows that are shot at him, jumping up and hanging onto the basketball hoop to avoid several more.]

Raphael "Are you kidding? When we got the home-court advantage?"

Bebop "Hey! Technical foul. Hanging on the hoop."

Rocksteady "Yeah. For that, the General gets to shoot a couple of free throws."

Donatello "Not anymore. He's run out of arrows."

Raphael "But not out of swords. Oh!"

[He flips off of the hoop as the General slices at him. The net comes loose and lands on the statue’s head. Donatello pulls open a large grate which covers an opening in the ground.]

Donatello "Quick, guys. Lead him this way."

Michelangelo "Great, a grate."

Raphael "Quite an echo in these sewers."

[Donatello completely removes the grate as his brothers run towards him.]

Donatello "Okay, now jump."

[Raphael and Leonardo jump over the opening, landing next to Donatello.]

Raphael "Am I a gifted athlete or what?"

Donatello "Jump, Michelangelo!"

[Michelangelo jumps, but his jump is short. He starts to fall, but Donatello catches his arms.]

Michelangelo "Whoa! Oh, thanks, dude. Great catch."

[The statue falls into the opening. His sword hits the edge and part of it snaps off.]

Raphael "All right! Slam dunk right at the buzzer!"

Leonardo "Okay. Now let's take care of Rocksteady and Bebop."

Rocksteady "I knew we should have left early to avoid the crowd."

Leonardo "Quick. After them."

Splinter "Let them go, my students. We have more pressing business here."

Raphael "Hey, he dropped this gizmo, whatever it was."

[Raphael picks up the broken controller and Donatello grabs the broken piece of sword.]

Donatello "Hmm. There's something familiar about this piece of marble. I’d better take it back to the lab and check it out."

[In the museum, Shredder works to complete his task.]

Shredder "Another moment, and my army of stone warriors will be ready for battle! There. Finished at last. You will obey me! Now forward march. Your left, your left, you left your wife and forty-eight kids."

[He marches out in front as the stone warriors follow. The turtles and Splinter have returned to the lair. Donatello examines the sword tip.]

Leonardo "We've never faced this tough an opponent before, Sensei."

Raphael "Yeah, that stone warrior was a master of each of our weapons."

Splinter "Hmm. I wonder how our enemies gain control of it."

Donatello "I think I've got a clue. This sword is made of a rare ionized marble. Krang must have brought it to life with an electrical charge."

Raphael "And controlled it with this beauty."

[Leonardo’s turtlecom beeps.]

Leonardo "Uh-oh. The turtlecom."

April "Turtles, rumor has it that an army of marble statues has come alive!"

Leonardo "You mean those stone warriors in the museum?"

April "Used to be in the museum. Now they're marching all over the city."

Leonardo "Okay. We'll get right on it. I guess you heard the news."

[Splinter takes the broken controller from Raphael and hands it to Donatello.]

Splinter "Donatello, how much time is needed to repair this device?"

Donatello "Days, if I really push it."

Splinter "Then there is no alternative but to track down those stone warriors and stop them in any way possible."

Michelangelo "No problemo. We slam dunked one. We can handle the rest."

Splinter "Be cautious, my turtles. These are worthy opponents, and there is an entire army of them."

[April receives her marching orders at the Channel 6 news building.]

Burne Thompson "All set to cover that "stone soldier" story, April?"

April "I sure am, Chief. I'm gonna need a closed channel, a remote standby, and the credit card for the news van. It's a little low on gas."

Vernon "You'll need something else, me! I'll go along, boss, to make sure she doesn't foul things up."

April "Foul things up? Why, I outta—"

Thompson "He's right, April. Remember, two-- two heads are better than one."

April "Even when one of them is Vernon's?"

Vernon "I heard that."

April "With which set of ears?"

[The turtles peek up from the sewers through a grate in the street with a periscope. They spot one of the stone soldiers. It steps on and breaks their periscope.]

Raphael "Whoa! Well, I'd say this exit is pretty well-covered."

[They try a manhole in a different location, but see it is guarded as well.]

Michelangelo "Like, how do we get out now, buds?"

Leonardo "Fellas, maybe it's time to use the pizza parlor escape route."

Michelangelo "Sounds good to this dude."

[Krang communicates with Shredder, watching him through the Technodrome’s viewing screen.]

Krang "What's the delay, Shredder? Aren't you finished yet?"

Shredder "I'm going as fast as I can. Unlike you, I'm only human."

Krang "Ha ha. What in blazes is the problem?"

Shredder "A few of my, uh, our troops, have proven faulty. I'm making a few adjustments."

Krang "Speaking of things that are faulty, thanks to your bungling, you dunce, the turtles have escaped! And they know what we're up to!"

Shredder "That's it. Blame everything on me."

Krang "I always do."

[Followed by a contingent of stone soldiers, Bebop and Rocksteady head towards a pizza parlor.]

Rocksteady "Mongolian Pizza. My favorite. Let's stop and get some!"

Bebop "Hey, no time for eats. We gotta find those dumb turtles."

Rocksteady "What a killjoy."

Bebop "Let's go. This time we got enough backup to clobber 'em."

[The turtles come out from around the side of the pizza parlor.]

Donatello "Why are we hiding? We can take those guys."

Leonardo "We're saving ourselves for Shredder. He's the one we've gotta stop."

Michelangelo "Hey, dudes, maybe we have time for a quick snack before we save the world."

Raphael "Forget it, Michelangelo. It's crazy to fight on a full stomach."

[They run down an alley but turn at the sound of a familiar voice.]

Bebop "Ha ha ha! The stupid shellbacks fell for it."

Donatello "We're trapped."

Michelangelo "All right, dudes. Let's show 'em what we got."

All "Turtles, fight with honor."

[Donatello climbs a fire escape ladder and attaches a rope to the end of his . The end is tied like a noose. He lowers it down into the alley.]

Donatello "Let's see if my fisherman's luck holds out.
[He hooks the noose around a statue.]

I got one!
"

Raphael "Teamwork, Michelangelo?"

Michelangelo "And fancy footwork, dude."

[They run to the top of some stacked wooden crates and are followed by a pair of statues. The turtles leap down but the crates break under the statues’ weight and they fall.]

Both "Cowabunga!"

[Shredder finishes attaching an activator to a statue. It glows when he’s done.]

Shredder "At last. The final warrior.
[He takes a seat on a throne, but then his comlink beeps.]

Yes? Oh, what is it?
"

Bebop "Uh, sorry to bother you, boss, but we think the turtles are beating us."

Shredder "What? That's impossible!"

[Static interferes with the signal, but when the picture comes back, Bebop has a bucket on his head.]

Bebop "If you say so, boss."

Shredder "I must think of something."

[Once more there is static, and then Krang appears on the monitor.]

Krang "You'll think of nothing, as usual! Once again, I have to come to your rescue."

Shredder "Well, stop nagging and do it!"

Krang "Okay. What we need is a hostage. Have those stone warriors nab April O'Neil."

Shredder "Hmm. Not a bad idea. Although we've done that at least thirty times before. But, hey, who's counting?"

[Shift to the Channel 6 news van. April is at the wheel, reporting in on the van’s radio.]

April "April here. Vernon and I are headed for the museum. No sign of any mobilized marble statues yet."

Vernon "Really, April. Why did you drag me on this wild goose chase anyway?"

April "I dragged you?"

Vernon "We haven't run into a single statue yet."

[The van crashes into something and stops. A crowd of soldiers stands in front of them and start to surround the van.]

April "Feeling better now, Vernon?"

Vernon "April, let's get out of here! We're trapped. Trapped!"

[April pulls out her turtlecom.]

April "Turtles, I need help!
[Leonardo is engaged in a sword fight, and continues as he answers his turtlecom.]

Come in, Turtles!
"

Leonardo "We're a little busy right now, April."

April "We're at the corner of Sixth and Spring surrounded by an army of angry marble soldiers! Come quickly!"

[One of the soldiers breaks the van’s window, snatches the turtlecom from April, and crushes it.]

Leonardo "Fun time's over, guys. April needs us. How about we flip for this?
[He squats down and slides his sword under the statue’s feet. He then flips the statue into a nearby dumpster.]

Heads I win, tails you lose.
[Breaking the fourth wall.]

And you thought only the other Turtles made witty remarks.
"

[Another dumpster is filled with statues.]

Raphael "Never let it be said that we're not tidy turtles."

Michelangelo "Come on, dudes. April's waiting, and she's no ninja."

[April tries to avoid the clutching hands of the statues as they reach through the broken windshield and windows. Vernon crouches in the back of the van.]

April "Don't you touch me, you--you walking mineral deposit!"

Vernon "Don't let them hurt me. Please."

[The turtles run up and see that the van is surrounded.]

Leonardo "We've got to get to April."

Donatello "They've got her surrounded."

Michelangelo "Whoa, dudes. This could take a while."

[Bebop and Rocksteady are hiding around the corner of a building.]

Rocksteady "Um, boss? We hate to keep calling in with problems."

Shredder "What now, you blithering idiot?"

Rocksteady "The soldiers got April O'Neil and her news van surrounded. But the turtles are here, too!"

Shredder "Blast them! We'll have to regroup. Attention, soldiers. Bring me that news van now!"

[Several of the stone soldiers pick up the van.]

Leonardo "Hang on, April! We're coming!"

Krang "Start energizing the pearl!"

Shredder "Don't you know how to say "please?"

Krang "No, but I do know how to say, "Nooooo!""

Shredder "Close enough."

[After placing the pearl on the energizer, Shredder turns the device on.]

Krang "Soon I will begin my reign as ruler--no, no, no, supreme ruler of the planet Earth. This will be the end of the turtles. Ha, ha, ha!"

Raphael "Donatello, how much time have we got?"

Donatello "Let's see now, it took four minutes to trash one statue, twenty minutes to trash four of them. So at this rate, it would take exactly, oh, twelve hours, thirty-four minutes and eleven seconds to trash all ninety-five of them."

Leonardo "By then Krang will have carried out his evil plan."

Michelangelo "So, like, what do we do, dudes?"

Leonardo "Remember what the Sensei has taught us. "The wise bird does not hop into the tiger's mouth. It flies above it.""

His brothers "You mean?"

Leonardo "Right! The Turtle blimp!"

[April sits in the back of the van with Vernon, comforting him, as the soldiers carry the van along.]

Vernon "I'm a real wimp, aren't I?"

April "Not at all, Vernon. You've been very brave."

Vernon "I have?"

April "Well, certainly. Why, you haven't fainted once."

Vernon "That's right, I haven't."

Thompson "April! Vernon! What's going on? Why haven't you two checked in?"

April "That's Burne. He doesn't know the vid screen is broken."

Thompson "I'm warning you. If you've wrecked that news van, it's coming out of your paychecks."

Vernon "Our paychecks?"

April "That's not fair!"

[The turtles fly high above the streets in the Turtle Blimp.]

Michelangelo "There's the museum, buds."

Donatello "And there goes April And Vernon carried in the van by these stone soldiers. Let's try the roof."

[They land on the museum roof. As they climb through at attic window, Raphael is startled by some bats.]

Raphael "Yeow!"

Leonardo "
[whispering]

Quiet. Have you gone batty?
"

Raphael "No, but this museum has."

Michelangelo "So exactly what are we scoping out here?"

Donatello "We're looking for a power source. Listen for the sound of humming."

Raphael "In what key?"

Donatello "Hold everything. It's right below us. Prepare to descend."

[The stone soldiers have brought the Channel 6 news van into the museum and unceremoniously drop it on the floor.]

Shredder "Why, Miss O'Neil and Mr. Fenwick. How good of you both to accept my invitation."

April "Do we have any choice?"

Shredder "Some people just don't know how to be civil. I merely wish to thank you for dropping in to see the control room of my new empire."

[The ceiling above the news van breaks and the turtles slide down on ropes to land atop the van.]

Raphael "Wanna thank us for dropping in, too?"

Shredder "The turtles!"

[Leonardo jumps down and helps April out of the van. Raphael and Michelangelo swing across to where Bebop and Rocksteady are standing and kick them.]

Both "Uhh!"

Donatello "This is where I shut down the army.
[He tries to use the control device, but it shocks him.]

Whoa! Whoa. That must be the catalyst for increasing the marble's power.
[He gets zapped when he tries to touch it.]

Ow!
"

Shredder "Ha ha ha ha! I have built in all sorts of protective devices."

[Donatello uses his bō to flip the pearl out of the device.]

Donatello "Gotcha! Oops."

[The pearl bounces across the floor and Raphael grabs it.]

Raphael "Whoo-hoo! It's hot! It's hot!"

[He bounces it to Michelangelo.]

Michelangelo "Whoa! They must have kept this in a pizza oven! Yo, Leonardo! Here!"

[Bebop tries to intercept the bouncing pearl, but misses and lands on his face.]

Bebop "Yaaahhh!"

Leonardo "Ow! This is some hot potato."

Shredder "All units to the throne room immediately! Get those meddling reptiles!"

Leonardo "Time for a tactical turtle retreat."

[The turtles, April, and Vernon run into another room and Michelangelo slams the door shut.]

Michelangelo "That ought to hold them.
[The door splinters apart.]

For about thirty seconds.
"

Shredder "Ha ha ha! You don't stand a chance now, turtles."

Vernon "He's right, you know. We don't stand a chance."

[He dives into a wicker basket. Leonardo is bouncing the pearl from hand to hand.]

Donatello "What do you say to a little "Bowling for Pinheads?""

Leonardo "Sounds great to me."

[He rolls the pearl like a bowling ball and knocks down a group of marching stone soldiers. They fall on top of Bebop and Rocksteady.]

Both "Uhh! Oww!"

Shredder "Fools! Imbeciles! Cretins!"

Rocksteady "Hey! That's one insult too many, boss! There's only--uhh-- two of us under here."

[He holds up three fingers but then lowers one.]

Bebop "Uh, could you, um, get these guys off of us, uh, please?"

[Shredder presses a button on his controller and the stone soldiers leap of the pair of mutants.]

Shredder "Finally, turtles, the end has come! Now give me the pearl."

Donatello "Ha! I'd rather give you this!"

[He swings his bō down and smashes the controller to pieces.]

Shredder "Ow! Ow! Ow!
[The stone soldiers stop moving.]

My army! You've taken away my army! Why, I oughta—
"

Leonardo "You oughta do what, Shredder?"

[Shredder draws his sword to face Leonardo, but his mutants grab his arms.]

Bebop "Uh, boss, I think we're, like, alone now."

Shredder "Hmm. So we are. In that case, open the portal, Krang. Now!
[The portal opens and they run through it.]

Until next time, turtles.
"

[Vernon is walking around with the basket stuck to the top part of his body and head.]

Vernon "Help me out of this, someone. I'm stuck."

April "You know, Vernon, you remind me of one of my favorite songs."

Vernon "I do? What song?"

April "Turkey In The Straw."

Vernon "Aha, cute."

[Back at the lair, the turtles share some pizza.]

Michelangelo "Sensei, you've got to try this Von Schnitzel's Mongolian pizza. It's most perfecto."

Splinter "Dare I ask what is in it?"

Michelangelo "The usual Mongolian munchies. Ox-burgers and yak cheese."

Splinter "Hmm. To each his own."

[Suddenly, a shadow appears on the wall which looks exactly like a stone soldier.]

Leonardo "Battle alert!"

April "Hi, guys. I brought you this little fellow as a memento of our adventure."

[She’s carrying a small version of a stone soldier.]

Donatello "For us?"

April "Right. I thought you turtles were pretty marble-ous."

[She giggles at her pun and the turtles all groan.]

[End Credits]

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