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Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids. |
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[Now.] Michelangelo "Uh, hey, dudes and dudettes, I—" Mikey "—Ew, ew, ew—" Mikey "—I think these little guys belong to you." Mikey "Sorry for crashin' your Pantheon party." |
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[Before.] Baxter Stockman "Let me make certain I have this straight—" Baxter "—You're telling me that there's a group of shape-shifting, mind-controlling... Immortals, who have been pulling the strings of humanity since the dawn of time, playing some sort of demented game..." Baxter "...And that it's our job to thwart their efforts?" BAXTER STOCKMAN April O'Neil "Um, yeah... More or less, Dr. Stockman." Donatello "Kinda hard to believe, 'huh?" |
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Baxter "On the contrary, in a world filled with megalomaniacal inter-dimensional aliens, reincarnated ninja warriors, not to mention other assorted monsters and mutated freaks, present company included—" Raphael "Watch it, Stockman." Baxter "—Believing in immortal demi-gods is no stretch of the imagination by any means." Baxter "No—the part I'm having difficulty understanding is the so-called responsibility we share in stopping them." Baxter "Quite frankly, I fail to see why I should give a single damn." Baxter "What has any of this to do with me?" Raph "You selfish little—" Leonardo "Hold on, Raph. Let April talk." April "It details how the Pantheon's little competition against each other could have huge ramifications for the survival of humanity." April "Which affects you just as much as anyone else on this planet." Baxter "Hm. So you say, Miss O'Neil..." Baxter "...But this is all Chinese to me." Mikey "Japanese, dude!" Baxter "Figure of speech... "Dude." " |
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Baxter "So, another end-of-humankind scenario, is it? You'll have to excuse my failure to quake in my shoes." Baxter "As I'm sure you recall, the previous culprit intent on wiping us all out ended up losing far more than he had hoped to gain—his freedom, to be exact." Baxter "How do you know this so-called Pantheon will be any more successful than that imbecile Krang was?" Leo "We don't know. But the fact that they've been able to effectively operate behind the scenes for so long makes them a threat we can't ignore." April "Plus, they've demonstrated strong interest in mutants, which means they'll also be interested in you before long, Dr. Stockman, considering your exclusive knowledge of mutation science." Raph "Talk about your usual suspects." Donnie "And if you think about it, that same exclusivity could potentially be very profitable for TCRI if you play your cards right, Doctor." Donnie "I'm guessing the first company to dip their toes into the Pantheon's undiscovered scientific waters is setting itself up for a huge payday down the line." Mikey "Sick cash, bro. Much dinero." Baxter "Hm. This is all very intriguing, I won't deny it." Baxter "But how do we find these demi-gods to begin with? One doesn't exist in secret for millennia if one doesn't excel at remaining well hidden." Angel Bridge "We can help with that—" Angel "—Me and Alopex found out where they're all gonna meet up soon." Alopex "Yeah. The hard way.*" [*See TMNT Universe #9 & #10 - B.C.] |
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Angel "One of 'em tried to kidnap us—trippy dude called the Toad Baron. Guy's house is like somethin' straight outta Alice in Wonderland." Alopex "He called it the Den of Delights. More like the Den of Delirium." Angel "Yeah. And we barely got away, but not before we learned about some weird family reunion they got comin' up at the Toad's crib." Angel "And not before I was able to jack the coordinates to the place. It's all on this drive." Angel "I'm thinkin', if we can break in there, maybe we can get the intel we need to know hwo to stop 'em." Baxter "Yes, you would think." Baxter "But how do you propose to infiltrate this "Den of Delights" without being detected?" April "Easy. Teleportation and cloaking technology." Donnie "Thanks to Harold Lilja and the Street Phantoms, we have all the tools we need to get in and out of the Toad Baron's house unseen." Donnie "All we need from you is help from this side with the teleportation and communication operations while we're there." Donnie "I can give you a quick primer on how to run it all—Harold did a great job of making it uncomplicated, all things considered." Donnie "And we still have full access to his old labs." Baxter "Ah, yes, Mr. Lilja. I knew our paths would cross again..." Baxter "Fine. I'll cooperate with this madness... For now. But let me be completely frank about one thing." Baxter "I am more than a little doubtful that you will be able to pull this off without being exposed." Baxter "If I'm right—and I so often am—you may very well find yourself on your own from that point." Baxter "Are we clear?" Mikey "Quit worryin' so much, doc. We're ninjas, remember?" Mikey "Sneakin' around is like totally our middle name—" |
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"—Those Pantheon dudes'll never know we were there." Mikey "Um, is it okay if I put these little guys down now?" Mikey "Hey're kinda grossin' me out. No offense." Rat King "Hahahaha!" Rat King " "No offense"—how rich!" Rat King "No offense taken at all, my young mutant. None whatsoever." Rat King "On the contrary, I for one am ecstatic to see you here—I was worried the sole diversion for the evening was going to be Kitsune's juvenile histrionics." Rat King "How happy I am to be proven wrong!" FWAK Rat King "You've really outdone yourself this time, brother Toad!" Rat King "Such fine party favors!" Toad Baron "Um, yes... Well... Only the very best entertainments will do for my beloved family." Rat King "Oh, yes..." Rat King "...Very entertaining indeed." |
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Leo "Guys, new plan—" Leo "Hide!" squeek Mikey "Sorry, little dudes." Rat King "Ah, it's to be hide-and-seek, is it? Excellent! Always our favorite game as wee immortals, no?" Rat King "Of course, none was better at it than good ol' Chi-You. Five hundred years and we still haven't found where that one's hiding, hey, sister?" Kitsune "You are detestable, brother." Rat King "Yes. I know." Rat King "Shall we?" Toad Baron "Oh, this bodes poorly for my poor abode..." "Stockman, do you read?!" |
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Leo "This is Leo! We've been compromised! Get us out of here!" Leo "I say again..." Leo >...e've been...mised!< Baxter "What is that fool babbling about? "Even mice?"" Alopex "No—I'm pretty sure he's saying they've been compromised!" Baxter "Well, of course they have." Baxter "When you're right, you're right, Baxter ol' boy." Angel "Get 'em outta there, Stockman! That place is a nuthouse!" Baxter "And it also happens to be located in some type of sub-dimensional reality—something that might have been mentioned earlier—and which, you may have noticed, is playing havoc with our communication and teleportation functions." Baxter "As it is, the coordinate frequencies broadcasting from their transponders are shifting constantly and I can't seem to get a solid lock on their location." Baxter "Not the best recipe for survivable teleportation." Angel "Listen to me, you back-stabbing jackass." Angel "This better not be some kinda trick or else you're gonna be the one with survival problems." Baxter "By all means—take over if you don't trust me." Baxter "I'm sure you ladies can pinpoint the dimensional frequency and save your friends far quicker without my assistance." April "Guys, he's right..." April "...We need his help. Let him go." April "He's out best chance at getting the guys back safely." Baxter "No, Miss O'Neil..." |
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"...I'm your only chance." Jagwar "Show yourselves, you disgusting creatures." Jagwar "Your flight brings dishonor on you all." Jagwar "Grah!" WHAP Mikey "Ow!" Jagwar "Damn your useless accoutrements, Toad Baron." Mikey "Aw, man, you totally broke my transponder thingy." Aka "Please, cease your attack, Jagwar. There is nothing to fear—these mutants are so much more like us than the humans." Aka "They deserve our understanding and compassion, sister, not destruction." Jagwar "Fear them? Ha! These creatures are nothing more than filthy vermin, Aka." Jagwar "All they deserve from us is eradication." Mikey "Yikes." |
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SHNK Leo "Gah!" Manmoth "Huh. I missed." Toad Baron "Not my priceless artwork, you didn't!" Leo "Stockman, dammit where are you?!" Toad Baron "Alberto!" Leo "Donnie, Stockman's still not answering and I almost ate an arrow for dinner." Donnie "That's nice..." Leo "What?" Donnie "Something in my head, Leo..." Donnie "So nice..." Leo "Oh, crud." |
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Leo "Kitsune!" Kitsune "Hear me, Donatello—heed my call. Join me and I will show you things your ever so inquisitive mind could never imagine without me." Kitsune "Join me..." Leo "Join this, witch!" FWP Kitsune "Insolent fool!" Leo "Come on, Don, get it together! You can beat their control—you just gotta focus!" Leo "Remember your trai—" Jagwar "Rahh!" CLANG Raph "Bad kitty." |
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Leo "Raph! How—" Raph "I got tired of... Ergk... Hidin'." FWUMP Raph "You are not the only one who grows tired of this ridiculous game, mutant." KRSSSH Jagwar "The time has come to end this." Jagwar "You've trespassed into a sacred event and you must be punished." Rat King "So soon, sister? Can't we play a little longer before you make with the executions?" Rat King "You ask me, the fun is just getting started." Toad Baron "Why, good Alberto... Why?" Raph "You want some punishment, huh?" Raph "Then I'll give you some pu—" Raph "—Hrrgk!" |
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Rat King "Well, allow me to introduce you all to our brother, Gothano." Raph "Grrk hrr nrgg..." Rat King "The strong and silent type, our Gothano—doesn't say much of anything." Rat King "But really, as you can see, he doesn't have to." Donnie "Raph!" Leo "Hold on! We're coming!" Manmoth "No. You're not." Jagwar "Where were you, Manmoth?" Manmoth "In the dining room. I went back for seconds." Manmoth "Or was it thirds?" Aka "Please, brother, release him. He and his brothers have done us no harm." Kitsune "No, but you have, sister!" Kitsune "Why must you always take the side of these monstrosities, Aka? Do you truly hate your family so much?" Kitsune "What is this mutant to you—to any of us? Let him hang, I say!" Raph "Gnnf mmgg hhh—" FOOM |
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Toad Baron "Where... Where'd it go?" Kitsune "Aka, this is your doing!" Aka "This was no magic of mine!" Jagwar "A cowardly retreat, nothing more." Rat King "And yet so very clever. Disappearing from the thin places..." "...Into thin air." FOOM Raph "{Koff} {koff}" Alopex "Raph!" Baxter "One down..." Baxter "...Three idiots to go." Raph "Hurry {koff} Stockman! My brothers are in {koff} trouble!" Baxter "Why am I not surprised? And for your information, I'm working as quickly as I can to save your green hides." Baxter "You're welcome." SMASHH Manmoth "Thank you!" |
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FWANG Manmoth "There's nothing I appreciate more than a brawl after dinner." WHAK Donnie "Unf!" Manmoth "A staff fighter, hey?" KRNNCH Manmoth "Okay." Toad Baron "Big brother, nooooo!" Manmoth "I can do that, too." FOOM BASHH Manmoth "Wha—? Gone?" Leo "Thank God." Toad Baron "Oh, Alberto... My poor Delightful Den!" Alberto "It's going to be okay, master..." |
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FOOM Donnie "Gahhh!" April "Donnie!" April "You're back!" Donnie "Um... Yeah. I... I knew that." Donnie "Leo and Mikey?" Raph "Still there, dammit!" Baxter "Yes, and I might be able to get them back faster if I didn't have this lummox breathing in my ear." Raph "Whatever, Stockman..." "...Just save my brothers." Rat King "Who will rescue you now, mutant—" Rat King "—Now that you find yourself all alone?" Mikey "He's not alone, rat dude!" Mikey "Not when his little bro's still on the case." |
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Leo "Mikey! I was worried they hurt you or... Worse." Mikey "Nah, I'm good. Just got my transponder whacked is all." Mikey "Which means I'll really be dead when Harold finds out." Mikey " 'Sides, I'd never leave you by yourself, big bro." FOOM Mikey "Leo?" Rat King "And then there was one." Donnie "It's Leo!" Raph "But no Mikey." Raph "Where's Mikey, Stockman?" Baxter "That... That was the only remaining signal according to these readings..." Baxter "...There is no Mikey." Leo "Oh, no..." |
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"...His transponder." Mikey "Aw, come on, Pantheon dudes... Can't we talk about this?" Jagwar "No more talking, mutant. This is killing time." Manmoth "Do you think turtle tastes like chicken, too?" Rat King "Sorry to say, Manmoth, but there won't be much left to taste..." "...Not after my pets are done with him." Mikey "Ew! Ew! Ew!" Rat King "Of course, I could call my children back. It'll be such a gruesome, torturous demise for our mutant friend if I don't, what say you, good Gothano? Mercy for our uninvited guest?" Rat King "I thought not." Rat King "Gruesome death, it is!" Toad Baron "This is going to leave a stain, I just know it." Aka "No!" |
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Aka "Brothers! Sisters! Hear me! There is no reason to harm this child." Aka "He and his brethren sought us out only because it was members of our very own family who first brought us to their attention." Aka "...Not these poor, helpless mutants." Mikey "Please, God... I swear I'll never make fun of Father's tail again if you just get me outta this." FOOM Mikey "Leo?" Leo "Grab my hand, Mike." Leo "Stockman, I've got him. Do it now!" FOOM Rat King "Helpless, indeed." Jagwar "Cowards." Manmoth "Tricky little beasts." Kitsune "This is exactly why we need Father back." Aka "Oh, hush, you silly girl!" Toad Baron "Brothers, sisters, I never thought I'd be the one to say this, but..." |
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"...This party is over." FOOM Angel "Yo! They're back!" Angel "You did it, Stockman!" Baxter "Of course I did." Mikey "Thanks for comin' back for me, Leo." Leo "Hey, I'd never leave you by yourself, little bro." April "Okay, we're all here now—thank goodness!" April "So what happened? What'd you find out? I'm dying to know." Baxter "Yes, tell us. Was this comedy of errors worth the trouble?" Leo "I... I'm not sure. I think so." Leo "I mean, we definitely got their attention, which is probably not a good thing..." Leo "...But we did learn who they all are now and what they each want, which could be valuable info in the future." Leo "All I know is, they were only toying with us today, playing another one of their crazy games. I... I hate to think of what would've happened if they'd been serious." Leo "Which means, it's time for us to get serious. It's gonna take everything we've got and more to beat them. We've got to get bigger, better, smarter, because the Pantheon won't forget what happened today." Leo "...And neither will Clan Hamato." |