Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

Michelangelo "I knew it was too good to be true."

Mikey "I swear I'm gonna strangle Hob when I see him."

Mikey "Hrrgk!"


Hun "Gyaargh!"

Mikey "Hrf... Hff... Who..."

Mikey "Hun!"

Hun "You just bit off way more than you can chew, freak."

Page 2

Mikey "Whatever I bit tasted like toe fungus, that's for sure."



Hun "Yer wastin' your time with your little ninja tricks, runt."

Mikey "Whoa!"

Hun "We're gonna do this my way."

Page 3


Old Hob "What the—?"

Hob "Hun, I don't know what you're up to back there, but you beter pray you didn't..."


Hob "...Break anything."

Hob "Oh, hell."

"Hey, where's Mikey..."

Page 4

Sally Pride "...I want to make sure he gets the last slice of pizza."

Slash "I'm not certain. He left a bit ago but I thought he was coming right back."

Man Ray "In the kitchen, maybe?"

Seymour Gutz "I'll check."

Pigeon Pete "Hi! I'm Pete!"

Seymour "Nope... Just Pete."

Seymour "Don't ask."

Mondo Gecko "Dude split."

Sally "Huh?"

Mondo "Mikey... He ain't here. Dude took off with Hob."

Slash "With Hob? Why?"

Mondo "Got me, man, but he did it all sneaky like..."

Page 5

Mondo "...Hob didn't even know he was taggin' along."

Sally "I saw that!"

Ray "Say what?"

Sally "Oh, quit trying to act innocent—you both stink at it."

Sally "You two were googly-eyeing each other soon as Mondo mentioned Mikey going with Hob. You know something... Spit it out."

Ray "Really, I haven't the slightest idea what you're implying, Sally."

Sally "What about you, crabby? Anything to say?"

Herman "I... With all due respect, I don't report to you, ma'am."

Sally "Fine, then..."

Sally "I'll find out for myself."

Slash "Where are you going, Sally?"

Sally "To the docks to see what Mikey and Hob are up to. You're welcome to ride along if you want."

Page 6

Mondo "Shotgun!"

Ray "Are you sure about that, Sally..."

Ray "...I mean, Hob didn't exactly invite us."

Sally "No, he didn't—"

Sally "—But he didn't not invite us, either."

Sally "We're supposed to be a team, right? A family."

Sally "So Hob should be just fine with us showing up unexpectedly."

Sally "Let's go! And don't forget to roll the windows down so Lindsey can hang her head out."

Lindsey Baker "You're so hilarious, Sally."

Ray "This is not good."

Herman "Sir, no, sir."

Pete "Hey, guys!"

Pete "Has anyone seen the fire extinguisher?"

Pete "Guys?"

"Subjects are on the move..."

Alex Winter "...Should I trail them? Over."

>Negative. We've got the intel we need from you. Return to base for next phase of the op. Over.<

Winter "Roger that, command. Winter out."

"You just never know who's sneakin' around..."

Page 7

Hun "...'Specially in a town filled with so many ninjas."

Hob "Back off, Hun, dammit."

Mikey "Only ones sneaky here are you two jerks."

Hob "Now ain't the time for this crap."

Hun "Oh, it's time, all right, cat."

Hun "After all these green chumps stole from me..."


Hob "Hrff!"

Hun "...It's way past time!"

Page 8 & 9

Mikey "Sorry, Hun."

Hun "Rrrf!"

Mikey "But the only time that's past..."

Mikey "...Is putting you on a shelf."


Mikey "Or under it."

Mikey "Heh."


Mikey "Nrrk!"

Hun "Always the funny guy, aintcha?"

Mikey "Hnggr..."


Hun "Always crackin' jokes."

Page 10



Hun "Well, the joke's on you, freak."


Mikey "Whoulf!"

Hun " 'Cause all your funny business ends today."

Page 11

100 CRTG .50 CAL
4 - BALL M33
C - 12H693S818

Hun "First I'm gonna finish you."




Hun "Then I'm gonna finish your damn brothers."

Mikey "Errgahh..."

Hun "Then I'm gonna crush that filthy rat you call Daddy."

Hun "And then ol' Hun's gonna have the last freakin' laugh."

Page 12

Slash "Wrong, Hun—you won't be laughing any time soon..."

Slash "...I guarantee it."



Hun "Bastard..."

Hun "...I'm gonna waste you, too!"


Page 13


Hun "You damn turtles!"


Hun "Always stickin' your noses where they don't belong."


Hun "Well, that's over, ya hear?!"

Hun "Over!"

Slash "No, Hun..."


Hun "Hrrk!"

Slash "...Slash just starting!"

Page 14

Sally "Okay, this is not what I was expecting."

Sally "Seymour, Mondo, check on Mikey... Ray and Herman, take care of Hob... Me and Lindsey will try to calm Slash down."

Mondo "You copacetic, dude?"

Mikey "Yeah... I'm okay. Thanks."

Seymour "Well, by the look in Slash's eyes..."

Seymour "...I don't think that other man will be for long."

Hob "Oh, my achin' skull."

Ray "You need to get up, Old Hob. We have trouble."

Hob "What was your first clue, sherlock?!"

Ray "It's Slash—he's seen Hun."

Herman " "Seen" is a gross understatement, soldier."

Hob "Slash?!"

Hob "C'mon, we gotta stop him!"

Ray " "We?" "

Page 15

Sally "Put him down, Slash!"

Lindsey "Listen to her, Slash. This isn't like the old StockGen labs—you're better than this now!"

Slash "Yes! Slash good guy!"


Slash "But Hun bad."

Slash "Bad Dragon man."

Slash "Slash kill Dragon."

Hob "No, Slash! Stop!"

Hob "Hun's workin' for us."

Slash "What..."

Slash "...What are you saying?"

Page 16

Mikey "It's true, big guy. I caught 'em both slinkin' around here, totally thick as thieves."

Hob "It wasn't like that, turtle, and you know it."

Sally "Then how was it, Hob?"

Sally " 'Cause it's not looking so good from here, gotta be honest. I thought you were supposed to be destroying all this stuff—not saving it for a rainy day."

Mondo "Yeah, bro."

Seymour "I'm so confused."

Hob "I can explain."

Slash "Yes. Please do explain why you're working with that villain."

Hob "Look, I got no delusions about Hun—guy's the worst kinda scumbag. But he's also the kinda scumbag we need right now."

Hob "Don't get me wrong—we're a damn good team, but eventually we're gonna bump heads with Null or Stockman or even the cops, and we're gonna need more than just a good team to come out on top. We're gonna need power—real power we gotta start amassin' now..."

Hob "...The kinda power that only comes from other scumbag humans just like Hun."

Hob "Think about it. We steal from the bad guys then we keep what we need and the rest we use Hun to sell back for a profit 'cause they'll never deal directly with us. But another human?"

Hob "Birds of a feather, am I right?"

Page 17

Mikey "No, you're wrong!"

Mikey "We're supposed to be heroes, Hob—we should be stoppin' thugs like Hun, not workin' with them."

Hob "Wow... Those're high-and-mighty words comin' from someone whose family's runnin' the biggest crime outfit in town."

Hob " 'Sides, this ain't about workin' with the humans—it's about usin' 'em for our purposes, which, if you forgot, is keepin' mutants safe from torture and experimentation."

Hob "Way I see it, if doin' dirty business with chumps like Hun's gonna stop another mutant from goin' through what poor Seymour over there had to, then that's the business we're gonna be in."

Mikey "No way. Two wrongs don't make a right, dude. And I don't like it."

Hob "Well, little turtle, nobody's stoppin' you from leavin', are they?"

Slash "And what about the rest of us, Hob..."

Slash "...What if we don't like it? Are we free to go, too?"

Hob "Yeah, pal, you are. We've all been stuck in cages before, but this ain't one of 'em. I'd never deny freedom to any of you. Ever."

Hob "Otherwise, what's the point of this war."

Slash "I appreciate that, Hob—and please understand that you are truly my friend."

Page 18

Slash "But Mikey is right—the point of all this was to do good. To be good."

Slash "And Hun, whatever his purpose, is not good."

Hob "Dammit, Slash, why're you lettin' that ninja chump get into your head like this? All this talk about heroes and bad guys, liek the world's simple as black and white."

Hob "Come on! The rest of us ain't nowhere near as smart as you and even we know it ain't that easy."

Hob "The truth's the world's a complicated mess and sometimes it takes complicated solutions to deal with it."

Slash "I don't disagree, Hob—and I never intended to oversimplify the world we live in."

Slash "But it seems more and more that it's become far too easy for us to sacrifice the good in order to confront the bad."

Slash "The others may not see this as Mikey and I do, but they've never suffered Hun's venom the way we have."

Slash "You've invited a serpent into the garden, Old Hob..."

Slash "...And that is something I simply cannot abide by."

Page 19


Hob "What about the rest of you? You got a problem with my decision?"

Seymour "I'm... I'm still trying to process it."

Mondo "Man, I wish we didn't have to fight at all."

Lindsey "I've got my work—that's enough for me."

Herman "Mine's not to question why, sir."

Ray "No problem, Hob. It's a sound strategy."

Sally "Well, I got a problem, that's for sure."

Sally " "Sound strategy" or not, we're supposed to be a family, Hob. No more secrets. No more lies."

Sally "If we're gonna have "complicated solutions," we damn well better have a say in them."

Sally "C'mon, Mutanimals, let's roll."

Sally "If we're lucky, Pete'll only have burned half the house down."

Mikey "I should get going, too. Hun's gonna wake up any second and I really don't wanna be here for that."

Page 20



Mikey "Augh!"

Hob "You think I care what you want, turtle? Do you?!"

Hob "I let you onto my team after all that rat's been puttin' you through and you thank me by tryin' to wreck everything I built!"

Hob "Slash was right—I invited a snake into the mix, but it wasn't Hun."

Mikey "It was you!"

Hob "Well, little snake, just remember this—I never forget..."

Page 21

Hob "...And I never forgive."

Mikey "Hey, big guy... Thought you'd be gone by now."

Slash "No, Mikey. I wanted to be sure you were okay."

Slash "What happened to your arm?"

Mikey "Oh... This? I think it happened when I, um... Fought Hun."

Slash "Are you sure?"

Mikey "Yeah, sure. It's nothin', dude."

Mikey "So, uh... I've been thinkin' it's time for me to go home. To the lair. Clean it up and turn it into a cool bachelor pad or somethin'."

Mikey "And you know, you could, um... Come, too. With my family staying at the Foot Headquarters now, there's plenty of room."

Slash "It's very kind of you to offer, Mikey, but I think I'm going to have to decline."

Slash "My whole life, I've felt like someone else's property. First, I was Stockman's lab experiment, then later, despite his best intentions, Hob's plaything."

Slash "After all the amazing changes I've gone through, that feeling of inadequacy has never left me and I think it's past time I venture out on my own, and finally learn what it is to be my own master."

Slash "But before I go, I want you to know, Mikey, you have always been—and will always be—my hero."

Slash "Farewell, my friend."

Page 22


John Bishop "So, Colonel Knight, is this the good sergeant you've told me so much about?"

Wesley Knight "...Sergeant Alex Winter. The best of my best."

Knight "He'll be briefing us on all he's learned about the mutants during his recent reconnaissance."

Winter "And I think you'll be very interested in my report..."

Winter "...Agent Bishop."

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