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Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids. |
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Michelangelo "Gotta admit, felt good to get out and stretch the old ninja muscles for a while." Leonardo "Yeah—great training run tonight, guys. And thanks for joining us, Father." Splinter "It was an honor, my son. I, too, enjoyed our time together." Splinter "Indeed, Donatello—a testament to the excellent care you have given me since my injury." Mikey "I'm just glad Father wasn't wearing that mask like last time he trained with us. Talk about creepy!*" Splinter "I prefer to think my costume was theatrical, Michelangelo." Mikey "If by theatrical you mean crazy spooky, then I'm totally with you, Father." Splinter "Well, all joking aside, my son, it was only meant to prepare you for any surprises we may face in the future." KLiK |
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Mikey "Gah!" Slash "Hey, guys." |
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Raph "Dammit, Slash, what the hell?" Leo "Yeah—what're you doing sitting in the dark?" Slash "Just meditating while I waited for you to return." Slash "I apologize if I frightened you." Leo "Meditating? Since when did you—" Donnie "Wait a sec!" Donnie "How the heck did you get in here without setting off my alarm system?" Slash "Oh... I came in through the waterway below and disabled the alarms as I worked my way inside." Donnie "What? There's no way you could—" Donnie "Oh, you did." Donnie "He... He really did." Slash "No big deal. Just something Hob taught me." Slash "You should be able to easily rearm them after I leave." Donnie "Is it just me, or is smart Slash way scarier than dumb Slash?" Leo "No kidding." |
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Slash "Hey, Mikey. It's good to see you." Mikey "Um... Yeah, um... Good to see you, too. But..." Mikey "...Why are you here, dude?" Slash "Hob sent me to invite you to our home, Splinter." Slash "There's something important he wants you to see." Raph "It's Master Splinter, man..." Raph "...And let me guess—that flea-biter's dyin' to show off some new mutants he and that freaky Lindsey's made, huh?" Slash "I'm not supposed to say. Hob just said to tell Master Splinter it's time to make good on his promise." Donnie "Promise? What promise, Father?" Splinter "We will speak of this later, Donatello." Donnie "But—" Splinter "Later, my son." Leo "Thanks for delivering the message, Slash. Please let Hob know we'll all be there soon." Leo "We've got some things to discuss as a family first." Slash "Okay, Leo." |
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Mikey "I'll see ya out, dude." Leo "Don't take long, Mike. We need to have a family meeting." Mikey "I know, Leo..." Mikey "...I know." Mikey "So, how are things goin', buddy?" Slash "Good, Mikey. I'm understanding so much more than I ever imagined possible since I had the psychotropic injection." Mikey "No side effects or nothin'?" Slash "None that I'm aware of." Slash "I only know it's great to finally be on the side of heroes." Mikey "I hope you're right, bro..." "...I really do." "I've never met people who like fighting so much..." |
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KRAK BLAM Nobody "Little too budy for your whinin' right now, Harold." Kirbyfan >Callsigns, Nobody! Not names—callsigns! How many times do I have to tell you?!< Nobody >Oh, yeah, I forgot... Kirbyfan.< Kirbyfan "No... Really?" Punk "Grah!" SKSH Nobody " 'Sides, if I ain't fightin', you ain't gettin' your data, right?" CHUNK Punk "Nghh!" Kirbyfan >Meh.< SHMP Nobody " "Meh" all you want, Kirbyfan..." |
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FWAK Nobody "...You know it's true." Kirbyfan "Whatever. I want to run some after-action diagnostics on the suit, so quit fooling around and get it back here." Nobody "Man, I seriously need to put a mute button on this thing." Kirbyfan >What was that?< Nobody "Nothin'." Nobody "G'night, punks." VWOO WHAM SHUM Nobody "Sweet dreams." |
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Punk "Stinkin' freak..." Kirbyfan >Nobody! Behind you!< Nobody "...Yer so dead." Punk "Hrggk!" BLAM Nobody "Crap!" SPAK Kirbyfan >Are you all right? Nobody?< Nobody "I'm good. But who the hell was that? Did the cameras catch anything?" Kirbyfan >Maybe. But that's enough field-testing tonight. You're going to wreck my exo-suit with all this nonsense.< Nobody "But—" Kirbyfan >Now!< Nobody "Yeah, yeah, fine, Kirbyfan..." |
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"...I'm comin'." Donnie "Great! You're back, Mikey." Donnie "Maybe you can help me talk some sense into everyone." Mikey "Why? What's goin' on?" Donnie "Father's promise, that's what!" Donnie "Turns out it wasn't bad enough that he stole mutagen for Hob, he also committed to joining that psycho's mutant circus." Splinter "I made a tactical decision, Donatello. To save Leonardo's life." Donnie "And it worked, Father. Leo's right here, safe and sound." Donnie "So why the heck are we still wasting time with Hob?" Donnie "He's got the mutagen, we've got Leo... Seems like a done deal to me." Splinter "And yet, Shredder remains a dire threat to us all—a looming danger that must be dealt with." Donnie "And the Technodrome's not?! I get that Shredder remains a concern but can we prioritize logically here, please?" Donnie "Come on, Leo—help me out. We're talking about saving the entire world... Not just some old vendetta. First things first, right?" Leo "I get what you're saying, Donnie, but I wouldn't only call it an old vendetta." Donnie "Great non-answer. You should run for office, Leo." Donnie "What about you, Raph? You can't like the idea of joining up with Hob." Raph "Look, I hate that cat's stinkin' guts, but havin' extra firepower on our side?" Raph "I dunno, Don... I can't really argue against it." |
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Donnie "I can't believe what I'm hearing." Donnie "You all want to stay in New York and play with your mutant toy soldiers while Krang's almost ready to strike from Burnow Island." Splinter "Please, my son, your concerns are not lost on any of us, I assure you. In time we will confront the problem the Technodrome represents." Splinter "But for now, as I've told your brother Leonardo, we cannot allow ourselves to split our focus. We must protect this family." Splinter "We must stop Oroku Saki." Donnie " "Our focus?" Seriously, Father?" Donnie "Let's be honest—the only focus we're talking about here is your crazy obsession with Shredder." Splinter "My son, y—" Donnie "No. I don't want to talk anymore." Donnie "You've obviously made up your mind, so what's the point?" Donnie "Look—compared to the whole damn world being terraformed and all of humanity being destroyed, this thing with Shredder and the Foot is nothing more than a turf war." Donnie "Raph's right—we do need extra firepower, and a mutant army would be great. But it's a total waste if it's being used against Shredder first and not Krang." Donnie "But, fine... Whatever. You guys go with Hob and get busy making monsters..." Donnie "...I've got to stop one." |
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Mikey "You know... Donnie's right." Raph "What, Mikey?" Mikey "I said, Donnie's right." Mikey "You guys are always barkin' at me that we're not crime fighters. But all we been workin' for lately is stoppin' Shredder, and that dude's nothin' but a criminal." Leo "It's more complicated than that, Mikey." Mikey "I know, Leo. Just 'cause I'm not a genius like Donnie doesn't make me dumb." Mikey "I'm just sayin', we might not be crime fighters, but I wanna believe we're good guys at least." Mikey "And shouldn't good guys be more worries about savin' the whole world instead of just themselves?" Splinter "Do not be mistaken, my son—Oroku Saki has marked us for execution, and he will stop at nothing to see that death sentence through in short order. Nothing." Splinter "Therefore, we must not allow ourselves to be swayed in any way from our mission to eliminate this threat to our family as quickly as possible. The time to strike is nearly upon us." Splinter "If we are to be the world's saviors, we must be alive first." Leo "Listen—why don't I go talk to Donnie and find some middle ground on this?" Leo "Meantime, you guys see what Hob wants... And can give us in return. We'll catcb up to you later. Maybe we can make it all work." Splinter "Yes, do that, my son." Splinter "We three will depart immediately..." |
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"...And advise you upon our arrival." The SECOND TIME AROUND $ SHOP $ Elizabeth O'Neil "There she is!" Beth "John, our daughter's here." John O'Neil "Hey, kiddo!" April O'Neil "Daddy, I'm so, so happy to see you better... You don't even know. And I'm excited to catch up." April "But I need to talk to my boyfriend just for a sec. Okay?" John "Um... Sure, sweetie." FWAP Casey Jones "Ow!" Beth "April O'Neil, what in the world?!" April "Look, Casey! Look at my dad. Remember last time you saw him—half-paralyzed and unable to take care of himself?" April "And remember you told me to help him in any way? How you had my back no matter what I decided?" April "Remember?!" Casey "April, listen, I—" |
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April "No! You listen!" April "My dad recovered, Casey—the ooze reversed his stroke and it was like... Like a miracle." April "But the ooze is gone now. All gone! And do you know what that means?" Casey "W-What?" April "It means I can't make you better if you get hurt, dummy. It means your next fight could be your last, and not in a good way—and there won't be anything I can do about it." April "It means if you don't change what you're doing, I could lose you forever, and I couldn't take that, Casey Jones." April "It means I have your back, too... If you'll just let me." Casey "I... I know you do, April. I really do." Casey "But... But I can't be like you. School, studying... It's just not for me. I tried, but with this whole thing with my dad, I..." Casey "I just don't know what else to do, April... Except fight." Casey "That's all I know how to do." April "You're wrong—there are so many more great things you're capable of doing." April "It's just another kind of fight, Casey—one you don't have to fight alone." |
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"Because we're all in this together." Old Hob " 'Bout damn time. Slash said you have some little family squabble to settle." Hob "Where's the rest of your drama club?" Raph "None of your business, hairball. Just show us what youd ragged us over here for." Hob "Look around..." Hob "...Don't you see, turtle?" Mikey "I don't see anything." Raph "Stinkin' fleabag! Wastin' our time!" Splinter "What is the meaning of this, Old Hob?" Hob "The meaning, rat? I'll tell ya." |
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Hob "We mutants ain't been around all that long—not compared to how long the humans have been stinkin' up the world. But that ain't really the whole story, is it?" Hob " 'Cause before we were mutants, we were animals—and animals have been livin' on this Earth since the beginnin' of time... Way before the human pollution started screwin' things up for everyone." Hob "So, startin' today..." Hob "...We're takin' it back." Hob "So, to answer your question, the meanin' of all this—right here, right now—is to introduce you to the newest soldiers in my mutant army!" Mikey "Um... I still don't see anything." Raph "Freakin' hairball's really lost it this time." Splinter "Old Hob, I came here based on our good faith agreement. I hope you are not reciprocating with trickery." Hob "Trickery? Oh... It's a trick all right." Hob "Boys?" |
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Hob "Turtles and rat, say hello to..." TOM WAS HERE A Hob "Herman the Hermit Crab." Herman the Hermit Crab "Sirs!" RepTiLe TeNdeNcies Hob "And... Mondo Gecko." Mondo Gecko "Whassup?" |
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Hob "So, whaddya think?" Splinter "Fascinating." Herman "Sir, thank you, sir!" Mikey "Whoa, dude, sweet board." Mondo "Custom hob, bro. Pretty sick, huh?" Lindsey Baker "As you can see, I've been able to successfully combine mutagen with the psychotropic serum to create the enhanced versions standing before you now." Lindsey "This definitely bodes well for future experimentation." Mikey "Um... What?" Hob "You're wastin' your time with all that egghead talk, Lindsey—the smart one ain't here, so nobody knows what the hell you're blabberin' about." Slash "I understood her, Hob." Hob "Umm... 'Cept Slash." |
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Hob "Anyway, for the rest of us schmoes, what Lindsey's sayin' is we swiped a couple critters from a pet store, shot 'em up with the green stuff and Splinter's blood and, abracadabra, we got ourselves two new mutant soldiers." Raph "Great, a walkin', talkin', trashcan crab and a skateboardin' stoner lizard. What—you run outta pigeons, Hob?" Leo "Hey, guys..." Leo "...I made it." Herman "We've got an unidentified tango inside the wire, Mondo!" Mondo "On it, dude." |
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Mondo "Yo, not cool buttin' in on us like that, bro." Leo "Wha?" Herman "Especially without the proper clearance." Herman "Identify yourself or be destroyed!" K-CLUK Mondo "Yeah, man—don't make us get gnarly on you." Hob "You were sayin', turtle?" |
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Leo "Uhh... Guys?" Hob "Back off, fellas—he's one of us." Mondo "Coolio." Herman "Sir, yes, sir!" Leo "What the heck was that all about?" Raph "Long story. Where's Donnie?" Leo "I'll tell you later." Splinter "So, Old Hob, it seems your mutant army is coming into being at least. Until now I've held serious doubts about your commitment to this endeavor." Splinter "However, this demonstration has gone far toward convincing me otherwise." Hob "Yeah, rat, I mean business. Hell, didya see the guns on this puppy? My very own modifications." Hob "Lindsey might be the mutation guru, but when it comes to firepower, Old Hob's the cat to see." Raph "Gotta admit, this is all a big step up from that idiot pigeon, Hob." Raph "Where is that birdbrain, anyways?" Lindsey "Pete?" |
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"I sent him to retrieve more specimens." Pigeon Pete "Hi! I'm Pete!" Pete "I'm part of an army. A mutant army, in case you wondered." Pete "We got lots of mutants in our army. We're gonna fight all the mean humans and rule the world someday." Rocksteady "Lot's of mutants, huh? What kinds?" Pete "Hmm... Let me think." Pete "There's a kitty, a crab, a lizard, and a turtle." Rocksteady "Didya just say turtle?" Pete "Oh, yeah... A great big one." Pete "And we might have some little ones soon, too—turtles, I mean. And maybe a rat." Bebop "No kiddin'?" Pete "No kiddin'. We're gonna be the greatest mutant army ever!" Pete "So... You guys wanna join?" Bebop "Yeah, what the heck..." |
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Bebop "...Where do we sign up?" |