[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Episode begins with a view of a trainyard. Slow pan in showing Shredder inside the lower portion of a signal box. He is speaking to a group of Foot soldiers.]
Shredder "Be ready. When the trains are switched onto the siding, we will hijack the special chemicals on board each one. Mixing them together will create our famous mutagen."
[There is the sound of a train whistle and a train comes speeding down the tracks. Another train is shown coming from the opposite direction.]
Shredder "Why haven't Rocksteady and Bebop thrown the switch? What are they waiting for? Bah! You should never send a mutant to do a man's job."
[He looks upwards. Inside the signal box, an engineer struggles against the bonds keeping him tied to a chair.]
Bebop "It's my turn to pull the switch."
Rocksteady "Hey, you got to pull the last one!"
Bebop "Did not."
Rocksteady "Did too."
Bebop "Did not!"
Rocksteady "Did too!"
[As they fight over the switch, the tracks keep moving first on way and then the other.]
Bebop "My turn!"
Rocksteady "My turn! Me! Me!"
Bebop "Uh-uh. Me! Me!"
Shredder "What are those two idiots doing?"
Bebop "Let go of that switch."
Rocksteady "No, you let go. Ooh!"
[They are pulling so hard that the switch breaks off. The two trains are now on the same set of tracks and racing towards each other.]
Shredder "No! Stop!
Those mutant morons have ruined everything!"
[The trains crash.]
Those mutant morons have ruined everything!"
[Shredder storms into the signal box and over to Bebop and Rocksteady.]
Both "Uh-oh!"
Shredder "You miserable maggots, wait until Krang hears what you've done."
[He grabs them both by their ears and drags them off.]
Both "Ow! Hey! Ooh! Ooh!"
[Meanwhile, the tankers on both trains are leaking, the chemicals they were carrying mixing on the ground in a green, bubbling mess. Inside the turtles’ lair, the guys are watching television.]
Man On TV "Howdy, partners. It's time for Six-Gun Sagebrush theater, with today's movie, ‘Shootout at the Cactus Corral’."
[Michelangelo walks in, carrying a hot pizza.]
Michelangelo "Come on, dudes. Give me a break. Let's watch something educational for once. There's a mondo surfing flick on, ‘Waikiki Wave Walkers’. It's totally tubuloso. Here, let me show you."
Raphael "Touch that dial, and you're history."
Michelangelo "No, trust me, compadres, you'll really dig it."
[Cut to Splinter inside his room. He hears glass breaking and Michelangelo’s voice.]
Michelangelo "Whoa-oh-oh!"
Splinter "That sounds like a food fight. Deep dish pizza, to be exact."
[Michelangelo and Raphael face off, both covered in pizza.]
Michelangelo "I'm calling you out, dude!"
Raphael "Go ahead. Make your move."
Splinter "Raphael, Michelangelo, what is the meaning of such disharmony?"
Leonardo "We're all to blame, Master Splinter. We were trying to decide what to watch."
Man On TV "Sorry, buckaroos. But we have to interrupt our program for this special news bulletin."
April O'Neil "This is April O'Neil reporting live from the downtown railroad yard. Two freight trains have just collided on the siding near the stockyard, and potentially dangerous chemicals are leaking from the wrecked tank cars."
Donatello "They're a lot more dangerous than April realizes. Those are the chemicals that are mixed to create mutagen."
[Shift to the Technodrome, far underground...]
Krang "I don't wish to hear any more of your miserable excuses."
Rocksteady "Just one more, boss. It's a real doozy."
Krang "Enough! Your bumbling has cost me the chemicals I need to make more mutagen. Without it, I cannot create my army of mutants."
Rocksteady "Why do you need more mutants, Krang?"
Bebop "Yeah, you've already got us."
Krang "I rest my case. Shredder, I must have that mutagen. You can't have too much of a bad thing."
Shredder "We'll go back to the surface. And this time, we shall not fail. Well? Don't just stand there. Come on!"
Rocksteady "Ouch, boss! A rhino's ears are real sensitive."
Shredder "Why do you think I'm pulling on them?"
[Back to April at the trainyard. Vernon rides up on the Channel 6 news motorcycle.]
April "Vernon, what are you doing here?"
Vernon "I felt a story as big as this might need a more professional touch."
April "More professional?"
Vernon "That's why I've decided to get the glory-- uh, I mean, the story myself."
[He snatches the camera out of her hands and rides off.]
April "Vernon, you rat! I hope you--you—you, ooh, you have technical difficulties!"
Leonardo "April, you've got to get everybody out of the area."
Donatello "Those chemicals in the wrecked tank cars are mixing together to make mutagen."
April "Mutagen? Are you sure?"
Michelangelo "It's definitely not guacamole dip."
April "Vernon's in that area right now! He could mutate into some grotesque creature."
Raphael "In Vernon's case, that could be an improvement."
Leonardo "Fellas, we can't let Vernon's personality keep us from helping him."
Donatello "Yeah. He's still a human being. Sort of."
Raphael "Besides, he might mutate into something even more obnoxious."
All "Let's get him! Come on! Let's go!"
Vernon "Oh! This is the messiest train wreck I've ever seen. On second thought, I'll let April cover it."
[Two bulls in the background are grazing near the mutagen. Suddenly they merge into one, just after Vernon passes them.]
Vernon "Hmm. The glamorous life of a TV reporter. What a lot of bull."
[He hears growling and turns to see a gigantic bull. It roars.]
Vernon "Ahh!"
[The bull snorts and Vernon faints. It growls again and then rises up on its back legs and howls.]
Michelangelo "Whoa! That is one humongous hamburger."
Leonardo "We've got to save Vernon before he's squished flatter than a pizza!"
Raphael "This oughta make him see red."
[He and Donatello pull a red tarp off of a side car.]
Donatello "Ha, toro! Yoo-hoo. Toro! Toro! Toro!"
[It charges the pair, who toss the tarp over its head and duck aside. The mutant bull slams into the side car.]
Leonardo "Now, that's taking the bull by the horns."
[The bull shreds the tarp.]
Raphael "Okay, Leonardo. Now what do we do?"
Leonardo "I'm open to suggestions!"
Michelangelo "I hate to say a discouraging word, dudes, but ultimo bummer!"
Donatello "Uh-oh. We're trapped in a boxcar canyon."
[The mutant bull’s horns grow larger.]
Leonardo "Look at the size of that thing!"
Donatello "With all those horns, he looks like Shredder on the hoof."
Michelangelo "Back off, beef-a-rama, or you're shish kebab."
[Suddenly the ground starts shaking.]
Raphael "Earthquake!"
All "Mommy! Whoa!"
[A transport module drills up through the ground near a water tower and causes it to collapse.]
Leonardo "It's Shredder!"
Raphael "He sure knows how to make an entrance."
[Water from the overturned water tower washes over them.]
All "Whoa! Oh."
Vernon "Oh, what happened?
Aah! Aah! Now I remember! I've changed my mind. You cover the story."
[The bull roars and draws his attention.]
Aah! Aah! Now I remember! I've changed my mind. You cover the story."
April "Thanks a bundle. I'll show him how a real reporter handles a story."
Shredder "What?! The chemicals must have combined to form mutagen and created this mutant monster. With such a creature at my command, I can destroy the turtles and Krang."
Bebop "The old double-cross, huh, boss?"
Shredder "Never mind. Just bring the beast to me."
Rocksteady "Just my luck. I-I left my cattle prod in my other suit."
Shredder "Cowards! Must I do everything myself?"
Bebop "Sounds good to me."
Shredder "Bah! You incompetent wimps!
You will obey my commands. Man over beast-- that is the natural order of things."
[He strides up to the bull.]
You will obey my commands. Man over beast-- that is the natural order of things."
April "Uh-oh. It's Shredder!"
Shredder "Now attack the turtles! I command you!
I am your master. You will bow to my superior will.
Unless, of course, you're not in the mood."
[It snorts and roars.]
I am your master. You will bow to my superior will.
[It roars.]
Unless, of course, you're not in the mood."
[The bull roars and charges at him. Shredder runs.]
Shredder "Out of my way, you klutzes! Aah!"
April "What a scoop! The great Shredder stampeded.
Oh, um, nice horns. Aah!"
[The bull stops behind her.]
Oh, um, nice horns. Aah!"
Leonardo "Come on guys, it's time for some turtle tactics."
Rocksteady "Mama!"
Leonardo "Okay, fellas, now!"
Raphael "Banzai!"
[The turtles jump onto the bull’s back.]
Michelangelo "Whoa! Chill out, dude."
Donatello "How do you steer a steer?"
Raphael "Don't look at me. I'm just along for the ride."
Leonardo "This oughta make a monster-sized spur."
[He swats its back end with his sword. The bull stops running.]
Raphael "Really smart move, Leonardo."
[The bull bucks them off. They all yell as they are thrown onto hay bales.]
Leonardo "I hope we've all learned something from this."
Raphael "Yeah, never ride a monster without a seat belt."
[April hides inside a train car.]
April "Maybe it won't find me here. You?!"
Bebop and Rocksteady "Shh! Don't make so much noise."
Leonardo "We've got to think up a way to fight this thing!"
Michelangelo "Then we better start thinking big, dudes. This is one mondo monster."
Donatello "Hold everything! I've got the answer. Follow me."
Raphael "He could at least say please."
Donatello "Someone make a lasso of that cable. It's time for a few rope tricks."
Raphael "Yippee-ki-yo-ti-yay. Take it away, partner!"
[Donatello manipulates a crane arm, swinging the cable and flinging it at the bull. The lasso drops over its head and tightens on its neck.]
Donatello "I've roped him, buckaroos! Now you can hog tie and brand him."
Michelangelo "Yeah, you dudes have been watching too many westerns."
[The bull roars and charges forward, pulling the crane over and then dragging it with Donatello still inside.]
Donatello "Wha-- whoa, big fella!"
Leonardo "I think he needs a little help."
Raphael "A little help? He needs the entire twenty-third cavalry."
[Shredder punches through the roof of the train car and grabs Bebop and Rocksteady, yanking them up through the hole.]
Both "Oh! Aah! Uhh! Let me go, boss!"
Shredder "The turtles are escaping with my monster!"
Bebop "I can live with that."
Shredder "You want to bet? Well, don't just stand there! Start pumping!"
Rocksteady "When you say, "pump," we say, "how high”?"
April "What fantastic footage!"
[Shredder and his mutants chase the bull using a hand car.]
Shredder "Faster, you bug brains! Mind if I cut in?"
[He slices the cable and separates the crane from the bull. The crane slides to a stop and a wobbly Donatello stumbles out.]
Leonardo "Donatello, are you all right?"
Donatello "Donatello? Who's Donatello?"
Raphael "Yeah. He's fine."
Shredder "That will put a stop to those meddling turtles."
[They crash.]
All Three "Aah! Whoa!"
Shredder "Get off me, you overweight oafs."
Leonardo "It's the end of the line, Shredder."
[They are startled by a roar. Turning, they see the bull mutate again, this time dividing into two.]
Leonardo "I don't believe it. It split in half."
Raphael "Oh, swell. Steers in stereo."
April "Oh, wow! We're gonna need a split screen to show this."
Shredder "This is more than I bargained for."
Raphael "Hey, don't knock it, shred head! Now we can each have a monster!"
Donatello "I think Shredder's got the right idea."
Michelangelo "I'm with you, dude. Let's hoof it!"
[Shredder and his mutants escape in the transport module. The bulls sniff the lava left in the hole and one of them turns to run towards April.]
April "Uh-oh."
[There is a nearby roar and she turns to see the other bull behind her.]
Leonardo "The two of 'em have April surrounded."
April "Ahh! Whoa!"
[Leonardo throws his sword and it cuts the binding that holds the stack of metal posts April is standing on. It collapses just as the bulls charge. April drops to the ground and the bulls collide. There is a flash and they combine into one bull again.]
Donatello "It's re-formed back into one monster again."
Raphael "Only now it's a monster and a half."
Leonardo "Are you all right, April?"
April "No, I'm not all right. The story of the century, and I don't have any footage on it."
[She holds up her broken camera.]
Donatello "Don't feel bad, April. It looks like you may get another chance. It's headed for our city."
[Cut to the Channel 6 news building.]
Irma "April, where have you been? And what happened to you?"
April "Let's just say I was given a bum steer. Has Vernon come back yet?"
Irma "Yes, but-- he won't come out of his office. And he sure seems nervous."
April "Try bringing him a nice glass of warm milk. That always calms me down."
Irma "Look, Vernon, I've brought you something. A nice glass of warm ..."
Vernon "Milk!? Oh!"
[There is a crashing sound and Irma comes out of Vernon’s office covered in milk.]
Irma "A simple "no thanks" would have been enough."
[Shift to the turtles’ lair.]
Splinter "And you say the creature became two separate ones?"
Donatello "That's right, Sensei, and then it joined together again."
Raphael "I guess it just couldn't stand being apart."
Splinter "Hmm. That is most strange."
Donatello "It could only mean one thing-- that the monster's mutant form is still unstable."
Raphael "Oh, I hope there's not a joke coming up about a bunch of cows and a stable."
Donatello "If that's the case, a massive dose of directed energy might break down the monster's molecular structure before it's permanently set."
Splinter "How do you intend arranging that, Donatello?"
Donatello "The university has an atom smasher. Maybe I can alter it to break down mutant molecules."
Michelangelo "So, like, how do we round up cudzilla and get it to the atom smasher?"
Splinter "To defeat your enemy, you must first learn to think like your enemy."
Michelangelo "Whoa, hold on, here. You mean I gotta think like a cow?"
Raphael "You can do it-- if you study nights."
Splinter "I will help Donatello prepare the atom smasher. The rest of you must find the creature, quickly."
[Cut to the Technodrome.]
Shredder "Krang, I could not control the mutagen monster. I must have your help."
Krang "It's nice to be wanted."
Rocksteady "Yeah. I know just what you mean."
Krang "Now pay attention. This receptor ring will make the beast follow orders sent from this remote-control device."
Bebop "Hey, I remember these things."
[He puts it around his waist and starts spinning it.]
Krang "No, you buffoon. You're to place it in the creature's nose, then command it to destroy the turtles."
Shredder "It will be done."
Krang "By the way, in case you have any ideas about turning the creature against me, remember that I, too, have a remote control more powerful than yours. Mine works the TV, the VCR, and the stereo."
[Above ground, April is driving around in the Channel 6 news van.]
April "That's strange. I've never seen this street so empty before."
News Broadcaster "The mayor has asked all citizens to stay indoors due to a giant beast rampaging through the city."
April "Well, that explains the empty streets."
News Broadcaster "The good news? At least it's not trying to climb any tall buildings."
April "That creature’s got to be somewhere in this neighborhood.
Huh? What's that?
Something tells me I'm on the right track."
[She hears a roar.]
Huh? What's that?
[She drives past a park and sees trees with bites taken out of them.]
Something tells me I'm on the right track."
[Zoom in on a university building. Inside a laboratory, a grate in the floor is used as an access point by Donatello and Splinter.]
Donatello "If my calculations are correct, the atomic energy lab should be right about here. Bingo."
Splinter "A most unusual way to get into college."
Donatello "Let's just say I worked my way up from the bottom."
Splinter "We must hurry. There's much work to be done."
[Meanwhile, the other three turtles are searching the city in the turtle van.]
Raphael "We still haven't seen hide nor hair of that mutagen monster."
Michelangelo "Yeah, or as I prefer to think of it, the "moo-tagen" monster."
Leonardo "Now remember what Master Splinter said. We've got to think like the enemy."
Raphael "Okay, if you were a giant bull, where would you be?"
[They hear screaming and see people fleeing from ‘Dish City’.]
Michelangelo "A giant china shop, where else?"
Leonardo "Okay, fellas, it's time for the last roundup."
Michelangelo "I sure can resonate to that lingo, pard-ner."
[The bull rushes at them and knocks over a huge stack of dishes.]
Raphael "Whoa-ho-ho!
I hate it when he shows off like that."
[Leonardo catches and spins dishes on his swords.]
I hate it when he shows off like that."
[The ground starts shaking.]
Michelangelo "Whoa. What's going down, dude?"
Raphael "I am."
Turtles "Whoa!"
[The transport module drills up through the floor and startles the bull. It runs, bursting through the front of the store and out into the street.]
Rocksteady "Gee, boss. This place has sure been wrecked."
Bebop "Yeah. Udder-ly."
Shredder "But the mutagen monster has eluded us! Quickly, back into the module. Perhaps we can head it off at the overpass."
Raphael "He's getting away."
Leonardo "We'll deal with him later. Right now we've got a crazed cow to catch."
[Michelangelo tosses an unbroken cup on the ground.]
Michelangelo "There, now it's a perfectly matched set."
April "What's going on?"
[The turtles are on their cheapskates. Raphael answers with a western accent.]
Raphael "We gotta drive some cattle toward the university."
Leonardo "April, we'll take the point, and you can ride caboose."
April "Thanks a whole bunch."
Michelangelo "Cowabunga! With the accent on "cow”."
April "Yippee and ya-hoo."
Michelangelo "Whoa! This gig is totally nutsoid, dudes."
Raphael "Yeah, that's the most unbelievable thing I've ever herded. Where's the beef? Oh, there it is."
[The bull runs onto the university grounds and the turtles follow, cutting holes through the hedges.]
Leonardo "They really oughta trim these hedges."
Raphael "We just did."
Leonardo "Donatello, it's us. Open the door."
[Shredder and his mutants drive a large truck filled with salt into the yard.]
Shredder "No one can resist the Shredder, and no cow can resist salt."
[The bull runs over to the salt mound and starts licking. Rocksteady pops up and snaps the ring into its nose.]
Rocksteady "Ooh! Gotcha!"
Shredder "You turtles are too little and too late. I control the mutagen monster now."
April "Hey, guys, I'm here to help."
[She crashes her van into the truck, knocking Shredder off the top of it. He drops the remote control.]
Bebop "Don't worry, boss. I got it. Now how do you work this thing?"
Shredder "No. No, you idiot. Not that way."
Donatello "It's headed this way, Master. Run.
I have to switch on the atom smasher."
[The bull smashes into the building.]
I have to switch on the atom smasher."
Splinter "It is impossible. You'll never get past that enraged beast."
Michelangelo "No problemo, dude. I've got it covered. Whoa!"
[He races towards the entrance on his cheapskate but crashes and flies into the building, hitting the atom smasher switch with his face. The atom smasher whirrs to life. Lights start flashing and the bull is watching them.]
Rocksteady "Ooh, this is pretty."
Shredder "Don't just stand there gawking. Let's get out of here."
Rocksteady "Aw, gee. Can't we just stay for the fireworks?"
Shredder "I'll give you some fireworks."
Raphael "Shredder is getting away!"
Leonardo "Forget Shredder. Michelangelo is trapped in there."
Donatello "I'll get him. Michelangelo, where are you? Are you all right?
Well, at least it worked."
[Cattle walk out of the building.]
Well, at least it worked."
Splinter "But where is Michelangelo?"
[Michelangelo rides out on a bull.]
Michelangelo "Yee-haw! Get along, little doggie dudes."
April "Michelangelo, you're all right!"
Michelangelo "Yep. I sure am, little lady. Why, you must be the new schoolmarm, huh?"
Splinter "And that is the end of the mutagen monster."
Donatello "And now it's time for us to mosey on back to the old sewer sludge corral."
April "It's a pity you fellas can't adopt one of these steers and start your own ranch."
Michelangelo "Right. A dude ranch."
[The bull licks her head and causes her hair to stand up straight.]
April "Yuck! I've just been cow-licked."
Raphael "Don't knock it, April. The spiked look is really in."
[End Credits]