[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Open on city skyline and pan down to the Turtle Lair. In the kitchen, Leonardo is putting the finishing touches on a birthday cake by writing “Happy Birthday Raphael” in frosting.]
Leonardo "There. Perfect!"
Donatello "Mmm! I'll say."
[He gets himself a fingerful of frosting.]
Leonardo "Hey, Donatello, quit it! That cake is for Raphael's surprise birthday tomorrow!"
Donatello "Ha. Sorry. My finger lost its head."
Michelangelo "Yo, compadres. Dinner's here!"
Leonardo "Ah, it's about time! We're starving!"
Michelangelo "Keep your shell on, dude. Wait'll you see what I got!
Ta-da!"
[He sets pizza boxes on the table and then removes a plastic bag of live goldfish from a paperbag.]
Ta-da!"
Donatello "A side of anchovies to go?"
Michelangelo "No, dude. They're goldfish! My birthday present for Raphael.
Hmm! Must be past their feeding time, too. Here, little fishy dudes. Have some pizza!
Huh?
Uhh!
Whoa! I wonder what got into them!"
[He pours the fish into a glass bolwl. They begin snarling at each other.]
Hmm! Must be past their feeding time, too. Here, little fishy dudes. Have some pizza!
[He drops a chunk of pizza into the bowl, but the two fish jump up and latch onto the slice.]
Huh?
[He has a tug of war with them until another chunk breaks off and the fish fall back into their bowl.]
Uhh!
[Michelangelo flies backwards and ends up on the pizza that’s on the table.]
Whoa! I wonder what got into them!"
Leonardo "Our dinner, that's what!"
Donatello "Oh, no wonder. These aren't goldfish! They're Siamese fighting fish! And if you don't separate them, you'll end up with a bowl full of sushi."
Raphael "How come I always get stuck with laundry duty?"
[He enters with a basket of laundry.]
Leonardo "Hey, listen! It's Raphael! We gotta hide his birthday cake!"
[Michelangelo opens a cupboard.]
Michelangelo "In here, dude!"
Donatello "Hello, Raphael! You're through with the wash already?"
Raphael "Yes! I ran out of detergent!
Would you tell me how four guys who don't wear clothes can dirty so much of it?"
[He walks over to the cupboard and opens it.]
Would you tell me how four guys who don't wear clothes can dirty so much of it?"
Leonardo "Raphael! No!"
[Raphael looks back at him as he sets the basket down on top of the cake.]
Turtles "Oh!"
Raphael "Now where's that iron? Somebody is always hiding it!"
Donatello "Uh, uh, it's in my workshop."
[After he leaves the kitchen, Michelangelo lifts the basket off the cake, which is completely squashed.]
Leonardo "Well, so much for the birthday cake."
Michelangelo "Man, I wish Raphael wasn't always so cranky around his birthday. Hey, Donatello, maybe one of your inventions could put him in a better mood."
Donatello "Oh, no way. Remember what happened when I tried my Personality Alterator on Leonardo?"
Michelangelo "Yeah, for sure. I turned him into a totally uncool dude."
Leonardo "Thanks a lot!"
Michelangelo "Don't mention it!"
[Cut to the Channel 6 news building.]
Burne Thompson "April, here's your assignment. You're going to do a special report on the increase in crime in our city."
April O'Neil "But, Chief! Crime is on the decrease!"
Burne "Don't confuse the issue with the facts. It's Sweeps Week! Now get out there and start covering it! Go, go, go."
April "You're the boss.
Oh, that man is impossible! How can I cover a crime wave if there isn't any? Hey! Wait!"
[She leaves his office and goes down to the parking garage.]
Oh, that man is impossible! How can I cover a crime wave if there isn't any? Hey! Wait!"
[She spots two men trying to break into the Channel 6 newsvan.]
First car thief "Hurry with that door, Max!"
[They pry the door open with a crowbar.]
Max "All right!"
April "Hey, you punks! Get away!"
First car thief "Don't worry, lady. We intend doing just that."
[They speed off in the van. April runs over to a Channel 6 motorcycle to chase after them.]
April "Those hoodlums won't get away with this!"
[In the lair, Raphael has set up the ironing board.]
Raphael "Okay. Now where does Donatello keep that stupid iron?
There it is.
Aw, great! Now how on earth do I find which cord belongs to which gadget? Well, this must be it.
Gracious me! Would you just look at this mess? Well, busy hands are happy hands!"
[He opens a cabinet full of stuff.]
There it is.
[He picks up the iron, but finds that the power cord is tangled around other parts and cords.]
Aw, great! Now how on earth do I find which cord belongs to which gadget? Well, this must be it.
[He accidentally plugs in the Personality Alterator, which is set to “Very Nice”. He begins ironing and the ray blasts him from behind. He turns to look at the junk spilling out of the cabinet.]
Gracious me! Would you just look at this mess? Well, busy hands are happy hands!"
[He begins cleaning up while cheerfully humming. In the kitchen, the other Turtles are cleaning up and washing dishes.]
Leonardo "What's Raphael's big hang-up with birthdays anyway?"
Michelangelo "Maybe the dude's afraid of becoming a Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtle."
Donatello "Well, whatever it is, I sure wish he'd snap out of his crabby mood."
Raphael "Hello, fellas! Is this a gorgeous day or what? Oh! Here. Let me do that.
Oh, oh, and don't you even think about touching those dishes. I'll do them later. Which reminds me, when is the last time I took everybody out for pizza? Hey. What do you say, guys? My treat! No, no. I'll go get your coats."
[He takes the broom from Donatello and begins sweeping.]
Oh, oh, and don't you even think about touching those dishes. I'll do them later. Which reminds me, when is the last time I took everybody out for pizza? Hey. What do you say, guys? My treat! No, no. I'll go get your coats."
Michelangelo "Who was that masked Turtle?"