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Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids. |
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April O'Neil "That's great, Mom—I'm so happy it worked, you don't even know." April "Ha! No, maybe you do." April "Anyway, gotta go. Kiss Dad for me. You two be careful on the road and be sure to let know soon as you're here. Love you guys." Donatello "Sounds like your parents are doing well, April." April "Awesome, actually. My mom said Dad's health is almost back to normal now—maybe even better than normal." April "They're on their way to New York right now and he's the one driving... Can you believe it?" April "The ooze, Donnie, it's... It's like a miracle." Donnie "Heads up, April. Someone's coming." April "Oh, hey! Casey!" Casey Jones "Who?!" Angel Bridge "Whoa, chill, dude—it's only April and Donnie." Casey "Oh... Uh, yeah... Yeah. Sorry." |
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Casey "I... I'm just a little edgy, I guess." April "I can see that. Thought you two were gonna hang at the Skara Brae." Angel "Yeah, so did we." Donnie "Hey, Angel." April "Everything okay?" Casey "No biggie." Angel "Hey, I remember this. Some kinda gravity doohickey your friend made, right?" Donnie "Yep. Harold. We were just heading over to his place." April "You know, if you guys aren't doing anything, you could come along." April "Be a nice change of scenery—Harold's got an amazing lab." Donnie "Uh, April, that's not such a good idea." Donnie "You know how Harold is." April "Yeah—and I also know it's better to travel with more muscle these days, too." Angel "Eh, what the heck? Ain't like I got anything else goin' on today. Jones?" Casey "Nah, you guys go ahead—I could use some more air." April "What happened?" Angel "I'll fill you in on the ride, April—Casey just needs some space right now, that's all." Donnie "Um, speaking of space, Angel, there's something important I should let you know about Harold..." |
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"...He's not exactly a people person." Harold Lilja "No, no, no, no, no!" Harold "How many times do I have to tell you, Donatello? This is a highly sophisticated research and development facility and not some clubhouse where you can bring all your little preschool playmates." Angel "Yo, Doctor Frankenweirdo, who you callin' preschool?" Harold "I take it back—that might've been an exaggeration of your attitude." Harold "Just leave my things on the table over there and go. I'm in no mood to play babysitter today." Donnie "Relax, Harold—nobody's asking you to babysit." Donnie "And I guarantee you won't be in such a rush to get rid of us once you see what I brought with me." Harold "What? A box full of expensive tech that wasn't damaged when I loaned it to you?" Donnie "It's not all broken." Donnie "Just most of it." Harold "Meh." SPAP Donnie "Read 'em and weep." Harold "Wha?" |
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Donnie "Remember the Professor I told you about from Dimension X? Honeycutt?" Harold "I thought you said he was a robot called Fugitoid." Donnie "Yeah, say guy—long story." Donnie "Anyway, these are schematics for a teleportation system." Harold "This... This is for a teleportation device?" Donnie "Not so "meh" now, huh?" Harold "So, are we talking inter-dimensional teleportation?" Donnie "I... No, I don't think so. We're pretty sure it's just for inter-spatial teleportation." Harold " "We're pretty sure? " April "Yeah—Donnie and I. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to fully decipher Chet's notes yet." Harold "Wait—who the devil's Chet?" Donnie "He's... Look, doesn't matter. What's important are the notes." April "And stopping the Technodrome." Harold "Technodrome?" Donnie "You know—the apocalypse machine I told you about?" April "If it goes operational, Krang plans to terraform the entire planet to make it habitable for his race... And not for humanity." Donnie "Yeah, we're looking at a total extinction event if we don't stop it." Donnie "Fugitoid sent me a primer of sorts recently to help decode his notes, and it could be our key to getting to Burnow Island and shutting the whole thing down." |
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Harold "You mutants sure like to pick fights." Donnie "Trust me, we don't pick the fights." Harold "Yet you have no problem dragging me into them, do you?" Angel "Sweet." Harold "Hold that thought." Harold "Hey! Preschool! That's extremely sensitive equipment, so..." Harold "...Hands off!" Angel "Yeah, yeah... Whatever." Angel "Ain't the only thing sensitive 'round here." Harold "As I was saying, what does stopping this Technodrome device have to do with me?" April "You mean, besides, saving billions of lives, including your own?" Harold "Don't be so obtruse. I meant these specs from your alien robot friend... Professor... Whatever." Harold "Why bring them to me?" Donnie "Because we thought you could help us crack the teleporter code and..." Donnie "Well... Help us build it, too." Harold "Help you? Really? And just look what happened last time I did that." April "Yeah—we rescued Donnie's brother and proved your high-tech gauntlets are great for tossing around monsters but not for stopping arrows." |
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Harold "Well, for your information, this version is obsolete now. I've been busy streamlining all my designs." Harold "Matter of fact, this exo-suit your nosey juvenile delinquent friend was just contaminating—" Angel "Angel, dude. The name's Angel." Harold "Yes, I'll bet it is." Harold "Anyway, this new exo-suit incorporates my enhancements into a single, seamless interface." Harold "Anti-grav, kevlar, light refraction, concussion grenades... You name it." April "Pretty impressive, gotta admit." Donnie "You have been busy, Harold." Harold "You don't even know the half of it." Angel "Yo..." Angel "...What's under here?" Harold "Dammit, girl, stop! I told you not to touch..." Harold "...Anything." Donnie "What the...?" |
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Angel "Whoa." "So, do you believe Mr. Lillja will continue to cooperate, my son?" |
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Leonardo "Honestly, I don't know, Father. Donnie seems to think the new technology will be too tempting for Harold to resist... Especially when he knows more about the Technodrome threat." Splinter "With each moment that passes, we lose our opportunity to strike at Oroku Saki while he least suspects." Leo "You know, Father, it's funny you say that, because Donnie's convinced himself that we don't think stopping the Technodrome is important." Leo "I told him it's not true, but..." Splinter "Your brother is correct—I fear that his strategic priorities differ greatly from ours in this instance." Leo "Um, with all respect, I'm not so sure about that, Sensei." Leo "I mean, Donnie's got a legitimate point—what good's beating Shredder if we don't stop the world from getting destroyed in the process?" Splinter "And yet, did Professor Honeycutt not say that possibility remained some time away? Saki will not wait that long, I assure you... Nor should we." Leo "No, no... I totally get that Shredder's the most immediate danger. It's just..." Leo "...Donnie said Fugitoid only estimated we had years, and now that he's Krang's prisoner, anything's possible." Splinter "But Saki is already at our doorstep, Leonardo..." |
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"...And we cannot afford any distractions from that threat." Donnie "Uh, Harold... What the hell's this?" Harold "Like I said, I've been busy." Angel "Donnie, it looks just like you turtle dudes." Donnie "Yeah... I noticed. Why is that, Harold?" Harold "Because I felt it was the most functional design for the unit's purpose." April "And what purpose is that, exactly?" Harold "Security. What else?" Harold "After Donatello and I met at Stockman's fake contest*, I realized two crucial things." Harold "First—I needed to beef up my personal security. You ninjas might get your kicks out of bumping heads with the entire universe, but Stockman showed me I've got my genius to protect." [*See TMNT: Micro-series: DONATELLO — B.C.] Harold "Second—despite his low-tech design, Donatello's skills, agility, speed and flexibility encompassed in an armored casing... Struck me as adaptable." Harold "So, keeping those specs in mind, I developed this security unit." Harold "It's still in the early stages and needs extensive beta testing. A few glitches here and there to work out of its programming, but it's coming along quite nicely, if I do say so myself." April "And I say it's creepy." Donnie "Ditto." |
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Angel "What's it called?" Harold "I haven't given it a name yet." Angel "Metalhead." Harold "What?" Angel "I'd call it Metalhead." Harold "You would. And, for the last time, quit touching my stuff." Angel "And you run it with that remote gizmo you're holdin'?" Harold "For now. Ultimately, I hope to enhance its onboard A.I. to the point that it'll be able to function autonomously." Harold "Which, by the way, means "on its own." " Angel "Shove the freakin' sarcasm, man—I know what you're talkin' 'bout. And I'll believe it when I see it." Angel "I'm guessin' this tin can don't even work with your little remote control gadget, let alone all by itself." Harold "Oh, really?" Harold "Believe this!" CLIK |
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BWOOP SHUNK SHUNK Angel "Hey, now!" BONK Harold "As you can see, fully functional." Metalhead "Please, allow me." Harold "And fully under my control. Not bad, hey prschool?" Angel "Whatever." Donnie "Pretty cool, Harold... Even if it does look like my evil mechanical doppelganger." April "Yeah. Neat." Angel "I got a question, though..." Angel "...Is it supposed to be smokin' like that?" KZZZSttZZZZSt |
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Harold "That's one of the glitches I mentioned. The motherboard overheats after a short amount of usage. I need to add more cooling fans in the cranial carapace." Harold "Let me just shut it down before the circuitry fries." CLICK Metalhead "Please..." Metalhead "...Allow me." Harold "How did that happen? I... I powered it dow—hrrk!" Metalhead "Meh." Donnie "Harold..." Donnie "...Look out!" KRRSSSHH |
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Metalhead "O'Neil. April. Intern." April "What the—?" MATCH FOUND STOCKGEN PERSONNEL O'NEIL, APRIL STATUS: DEADLY THREAT C://<001-10-1-110 010-100-1-010-101 01-0111-1011-1011 011101-1101-11-11 01-11-1-110101[00 01<SEEK-DESTROY>0 ELIMINATE TARGET FFFFZZZZ Metalhead "Eliminate." Angel "Don't think so!" CHRSH FZAK Donnie "You two stay here!" Angel "How'd that thing know my name?" Harold "I may have, um... Programmed the entire employee list from the StockGen database into its memory." April "What on earth for?" Harold "To protect my genius from Stockman, what else?" April "By killing people?!" Harold "I was still making calibrations before you barged in here..." |
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"...I told you there were some glitches left." Donnie "Hang on, Angel!" FZAAAKK Angel "Yeah—no problem!" Donnie "Raahh!" CLNG SKKSS Metalhead "That was obtruse of you." VWOO Donnie "Yow!" KUSH Donnie "Great, bad enough it talks just... Uff... Like Harold." Donnie "The damn thing's got an anti-grav gauntlet, too?" Angel "That ain't all." CHK CLK |
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Angel "Machine gun!" BRAKAKAKAKAKAKA Donnie "I'm gonna kill Harold!" KTX FWOOSH Donnie "If I don't get my own motherboard fried first." April "Donnie!" Metalhead "O'Neil. April. Intern." April "Uh—" Harold "—Oh." SHNK CHNK SHNK CHNK CHN SHNIT Metalhead "Eliminate." RRMMMM |
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April "Move!" CHKAM Donnie "You two okay?!" Harold "I'd be better if you imbeciles would quit manhandling me." April "Oh, shut up, Harold! Just how many weapons did you give that stupid thing, anyway?!" Angel " "A single, seamless interface..." " Angel "Donnie, hide April and Dr. Frankenweirdo! I'll handle the robot!" Donnie "Not with those sticks, I hope!" Angel "Nope." CLAK CLAK Angel "Yo, Metalhead! Over here!" Metalhead "Meh." FZAK Angel "Ha!" KSSSH Donnie "Another laser, Harold? Seriously?" April "Donnie... Is Angel...?" Donnie "Stay here. I'm gonna try and help her." April "Wait, Donnie..." "...Look!" Angel "Time for some seamless interfacin'... Street style." |
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Angel "A little anti-grav for ya, chump?" VWOOP SHSSH Angel "Crap!" BRAKAKAKAKAKAKA Harold "My lab!" Donnie & April "Shut up, Harold!" SEARCHING... Metalhead "Where are you... Preschool?" Angel "Right behind you." Angel "Catch!" BWOOM Metalhead "Eliminate!" FZAAAK Angel "Y'know, since the table didn't work..." Angel "...Let's try the wall!" SMMASH VWOO Metalhead "M-M-M-Meh..." |
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Angel "Who's preschool now, sucker?" April "Oh, my God, Angel, that was awesome." Donnie "I knew you were tough, but, man, that... That ruled. You handled that tech like a natural." Harold "Yes... She did." Harold "Amazing." Harold "What did you say your name was again?" Angel "Me?" Nobody "I'm Nobody." |
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Lindsey Baker "No, Mom... Nobody has contacted me yet." Lindsey "Yes, of course I've emailed out my resumé." Lindsey "So what haven't I heard anything? Seriously?" Lindsey "Have you seen the job market lately, Mom? There aren't many companies doing the work StockGen had me doing, let alone ones that are hiring." Lindsey "Plus, most of my best references seem to have disappeared off the face of the Earth." SPLISH Lindsey "Dang it!" Lindsey "No... No, I wasn't talking to you, Mom." Lindsey "Look... I'll call you later, okay." BEEP Lindsey "Stupid keys." Old Hob "Hello, Lindsey." Lindsey "Oh, my God..." |
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Hob "Good news..." Hob "...Your job hunt is over." |