Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

Cop "Right this way, everyone. Just proceed in an orderly fashion, and you'll all be assigned—"

Haley & Todd's mother "But we don't even know why we're being evacuated! What did that to our—"

Kara Lewis "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

Kara "Which I'm not at liberty to do."

Todd "Haley, what's that?"

Haley "What?"

Todd "That!"

Haley "Monsters."

Page 2

Todd "Mom! Mom, monsters!"

Todd "Probably the same dinosaur monsters we saw back at home. Up—"

Todd "Hey..."

Todd "Where did they go?"

Mom "There are no monsters, Todd!"

Mom "Not here and not back at home."

Mom "Now's just—it's not a good time for imagination."

Mom "I'm trying to protect you. And that's a lot harder to do when you believe in things that aren't really there. Okay?"

Haley "Okay..."

Haley "We'll just find them on our own."

Page 3

Raphael "Look! Humans! Let's duck into this abandoned building to avoid them!"

Raph "This abandoned building that they're all about to pour into!"

Leonardo "I'll admit, it wasn't the best idea we've ever had."

Leo "But I'm more concerned about what we do next. We can't let these humans see us!"

Michelangelo "Yeah! No one can know we exist. Except Casey and April."

Mikey "And Harold. Angel. Woody, of course."

Mikey "Lindsey Baker. Everyone in the Foot Clan, and most of the—"

Mikey "Whoa!"

Leo "The point is, none of these people know. So plan A is to sneak our way past them."

Leo "We're ninjas. That should be simple enough..."

Page 4


Page 5

[Plan A.]



Cop A "Alright, if the sixty of you would just follow me—"

Cop B "—Lunch will be sandwiches. Pre-made, but with oil and vinegar, ketchup, mustard—all the finest condiments that the Emergency Management Agency has to offer."

Cop B "Okay, now let's talk about bathroom protocol."

Cop B "The plumbing in this building is quite archaic, so all bathrooms are equipped with plungers, on the off chance you run into some—"

Haley "Monsters! We know you're out there and we're going to find you! You destroyed our home, but we're not going to let you—"

Mom "Stop that! You need to quit goofing around, and listen to the rules."

Mom "We could be here a very long while."

Page 6

Leo "Okay... It might be time for plan B. So if anyone has an idea, now's the time to—"

Donatello "Shhhh—"

Haley "Hurry!"

Todd "Mom's going to be so mad. Maybe we should go back and let—"

Haley "They're monsters, Todd."

Haley "And backing down isn't an option, anymore."

Mikey "Okay, so plan B is so totally obvious, guys!"

Mikey "Those kids think we're monsters. So we dress up as monsters..."

"...And scare our way out!"

Raph "Let's... Let's just skip plan B for now."

Page 7

[Plan C.]

Raph "What kind of building has no roof access?!"

[Plan G.]

Donnie "Yep... He's stuck."

[Plan M.]


[Plan Q.]

Donnie "We should have gone with the catapult."

Page 8

Mom "And my children should be back by now!"

Mom "What kind of police force can't find two little kids in one building? We came here for safety and stability. Instead my children are still missing, and all you can say is—"

Kara "Let me assure you, our officers are combing the building for—"

Man "Is this the complaint desk? Because the dang-ole toilet won't flush! And—"

Kara "There should be a plunger in every—"

Man "Should be, but isn't! These are tough enough times, without—"

Mom "Who cares! My children are out there, chasing their so-called monsters, while we're—"

Kara "Wait!"

Kara "What kind of monsters?"

Page 9

Haley "Big, scary monsters! We know you're here! Maybe even right—"

Haley "Here!"

Todd "Or maybe not."

Todd "We've been looking a long time. Maybe... Maybe it really was just our imagination."

Haley "I've played cops and robbers with you, Todd. Your imagination isn't all that great."

Todd "Hey!"

Haley "Those dinosaur things flattened our entire block. And now we're supposed to... Sleep on cots? And eat those dumb sandwiches and follow the rules and pretend nothing happened."

Haley "But something happened."

Haley "And besides—isn't this a lot more fun than—"

Cop "I found them!"

Page 10

>The intruders?<

Cop "No, the—the missing kids."

Cop "No sign of the "monsters" yet."

Cop "But don't worry, kids—"

Cop "We're gonna search under every bed and in every closet until we find them."

Donnie "Well... That isn't good."

Raph "No. It isn't."

Raph "Sigh..."

Raph "All right, Mikey..."

Raph "...Tell us more about plan B."

Page 11

[Plan B.]

Donnie "Uh... Breaker breaker 5, there's a security breach in progress at the northeast exit of the evacuation center—"

Mikey "No, not like that!"

Donnie "Shhhh!"

Mikey "They've broken in! They look like dinosaurs! And they have guns! And horns! And, uhmore horns!"

Mikey >They're so scary I've forgotten all my police lingo! Ahhhhhhh!<

Kara "Let's move, officers!"

Mikey "And now that the cops are searching the other side of the building, it's time for..."

Page 12

Mikey "Teenage monster monster monsters!"

Cop "Don't panic, kids! Let's just find your parents, and then—"

Cop "—Kids!"

Page 13

Haley "Do you see them?"

Todd "Better than that—"

Todd "I got one!"

Todd "Hit him! Hit him in the—"

Raph "Ahhhh!"

Haley "Eat vinegar, monster!"

Haley "One of the finest condiments that the Something Something has to offer!"

Todd "I think it's time for you guys to—"

Todd "—Take the plunge!"

Haley "I thought we agreed that was a really lame line, Todd!"

Page 14

Todd "No, it was awesome! And so is this!"

Donnie "Oof!"

Mikey "Leo! Don—ahem, I mean—Franken... Guys!"

Leo "Dere's somefing on my fafe!"

Mikey "Hey! That looked like a hard fall. Are you all ri—"

Haley "Hyaaa!"

Raph "Okay. Time to fight back."

Donnie "Against a couple of kids? We can't really pull out the ninja moves on—"

Raph "We're not ninjas, remember?"

Page 15

Raph "We're"

Raph "Monsters!"

Raph "Raaaargh!"

Donnie "Oh, right! Monsters!"

Donnie "As you can tell, based on the fact that we are behaving the way monsters typically—"

Leo "That's good enough! Let's go!"

Donnie "It's kind of fun not being sneaky!"

Mikey "Yeah, but..."

Donnie "But nothing! Your plan worked great!"

Page 16

Todd "Are... Are they gone?"

Haley "I think so."

Haley "But we should be ready. Just in case they—"

Todd & Haley "Ahhh!"

Mikey "Listen! You were right—we are monsters, but you win, okay? You did it! You've scared us away!"

Mikey "Also: Stay in school and eat your pizza!"

Mikey "Vegetable pizza!"

Page 17

Leo "I think we're safe."

Raph "Of course we are. It was a good plan."

Donnie "I'm... I'm kind of surprised you went along with it."

Donnie "I couldn't imagine that happening, even a little while ago."

Raph "Me neither. But after all we've been through? The trust and respect we've built? I—"

Mikey "Ha!"

Raph "What?"

Page 18

Mikey "I—I said we should dress up as monsters! And—And scare a bunch of kids!"

Mikey "And you actually did it!"

Raph "Well... Like I said. The respect I have for you—for all of you—"

Mikey "And you looked so ridiculous!"

Raph "I'll show you ridiculous!"

Page 19

Kara "How did they do?"

Sketch Artist "Well... Their mom thought they were making the whole thing up?"

Kara "Yes."

Artist "I think she may have been on to something."

Artist "Still... Who stole that radio, and called in the diversion? Who threw the smoke bombs?"

Artist "And why do all these "monsters" have... Turtle shells?"

Kara "These guys... Everywhere I go."

Artist "What?"

Kara "I said, "Perhaps we'll never know." "

Artist "So, what should I do with—"

Kara "—Destroy it."

Page 20

Todd "And then the monster was like, "You win! You scared us away!"

Todd "You are the most amazing monster hunters in the entire world! But stay in school, and—" "

Mom "Todd."

Mom "It's been a long day. And tomorrow will be even longer."

Mom "So can we just... Can we just stop with the lies?"

Todd "But it's not—"

Haley "She's never going to believe us."

Haley "But that's okay, Mom."

Haley "We'll protect you, anyway."

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.