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Note: This takes place before The Fast and Furriest episode despite episode numbering.

[Open Ext. Rooftop in New York; Night]

(On the rooftop, Mikey is swinging his kusari-fundō as fire blazes in the air.)

MIKEY: “Oh, yeah, check this out! Power fun jitsu!” RAPH “Not bad, not bad. But check out these puppies!”

(Raph punches his tonfās together, making a red wave of energy around his forearms. Mikey looks on in awe.)

LEO: “If you guys wanna see real skills, look right here. I'm gonna make a portal to New Jersey.”

(Leo swings his mystical ōdachi, but nothing happens.)

LEO: (Frustrated) “Come on, power portal jitsu!”

(Leo tries to make a portal but only a tiny hand-sized one opens. Raph laughs at it.)

RAPH: “That's not going to get you across the street, let alone to New Jersey!” LEO: “Okay but...”

(Leo uses the portal to scratch is own back.)

LEO:  “See. It's practical, which makes it better.”

(Mikey notices Donnie standing off from the group.)

MIKEY: “Hey, Donnie, what are you doing, bud?”

(Donnie has his goggles off and is analyzing a purple crystal.)

DONNIE: “Well, while you guys took flashier items from Draxum, I, on per brand, took a more cerebral one. See, this crystal, combined with the elements...” LEO: (Annoyed) “Get to the pooooint.”

(Donnie harrumphs inserts the crystal back in his goggles and puts his goggles back on.)

DONNIE: “Now I can see all of the mystic energy hidden around New York, you're welcome and thank you.”

(Donnie has a look around with the goggles.)

RAPH: “Whoa, that's awesome! What about that laundry mat?” DONNIE: “It looks… like a laundry mat. But what do we have over hi-ere~?”

(Donnie focuses on a little old lady pushing a shopping cart. He switches to the mystic filter and instead sees a fiery horned humanoid with roughly the same proportions as the little old lady.)

DONNIE  “Whoa... Underneath that old lady's skin is some sort of fire mutant thing.”

(The Yokai lady looks around surreptitiously and enters an alley. Then she makes a gesture at a brick wall covered in graffiti which activates a portal and it appears on the wall. She quickly steps into the portal, leaving the cart behind and the portal closes again.)

MIKEY: “She just disappeared into that wall!”

DONNIE: “I believe she went into some sort of cool mystic pizza place.”

MIKEY: “Pizza! Guys, my blood suggie's getting low. I need to eat bad!”

[Trans. Ext. Alley; Night]

(The Turtles jump down from the rooftop and stand in front of the brick wall in the alley. Leo jumps to the front of the group.)

LEO: “Step aside. Let's put the prettiest face first.”

RAPH: “I don't think that's a good idea.”

LEO: “Why? The one who’s gonna get us inside is me!”

(Leo makes the secret gesture with his hand but the skeleton graffiti blows a raspberry at him.)

RAPH: “Nice try, pretty boy.”

(Raph pushes Leo aside and makes the gesture and the portal opens up for him.)

RAPH: “Awesome!”

(Raph, Mikey and Donnie leap in.)

LEO: “Don't leave me!” [Tran. Int. Run Of The Mill pizzeria; Night]

(Raph, Mikey and Donnie gasp in awe, finding themselves in an amazing Yokai pizzeria.)

RAPH: “Alright, alright. Everybody be cool. This is our first time in a classy restaurant, uh… establishment.” LEO: (OS) “Hey, guys, this wall is definitely broken.”

(Raph, Mikey and Donnie turn around to see Leo stuck in the wall, only his top half has made it through. His brothers help Leo out of the wall and then look around.)

RAPH: “A table! What do we do?”

DONNIE: (slowly) “Okay, be cool. I think we just sit at it and ask for stuff.”

MIKEY: “Like regular people?”

DONNIE: (delighted) “I think here, we ARE regular.”

(While his brothers go to sit at the table, Leo overhears two Yokai as they past by.)

YOKAI 1: “Never forget, you are the champion.” YOKAI 2: “Thanks bro. I was having a real existential crisis.”

(Leo turns to see where the two Yokai just came from and sees a sign saying "Prove you're a champion” hanging over a doorway to a hallway.)

[Trans. Int. Hall of Champions; Night]

(Leo investigates the hall and notes with interest the pictures of triumphant Yokai on the walls of the hallway. Leo spies a grand golden entrance with a velvet rope at the end of the hallway and drawn like a moth to a flame, he approaches the entry - only to be stopped by a skeleton Yokai. The skeleton stops Leo with his dismembered arm.)

SEÑOR HUESO: “Whoa whoa whoa.” LEO: “Ew, gross!”

(Leo knocks the Skeleton’s hand away.)

HUESO: (chiding) “Oh, no, this is not for you.”

LEO: “‘Prove your champion?’ Oh, this is definitely for me.”

HUESO: “Well, it's not. You, my friend, are not a champion. Sorry.”

LEO: “But you see, Bone-man - can I call you Bone-man? -  I am a champion and I wanna know what's behind your rope.”

HUESO: “Well, you need not to be concerned with el labrinos de la muerte. Or as you would call it, the Maze of Death.”

LEO: (intrigued) “Ominous. But also a question: when I solve your Maze of Death, what do I get?”

HUESO: (showman voice) “You get your picture immortalized on the Wall of Champions! Also, pizza. The world's greatest pizza!”

LEO: “Well, guess whose face is about to go on that wall? I've solved all kinds of mazes. You're looking at the maze master, mister!”

HUESO: “Be warned. In this maze the use of mystic powers is strictly forbidden.”

(Leo cockily balances his mystical ōdachi on his shoulder.)

LEO: (fibs) “No mystic powers? Perfect. I never touch the stuff. I'm old school.”

HUESO: (annoyed) “Fine. Would you like to enter alone?”

LEO: “You know, let's make it for four because what's the point of being a champion if you can't rub it in your brother's faces?”

[Trans. Int. Run Of The Mill main restaurant; Night]

(Meanwhile, Mikey is holding a slice of pizza and is just about to take a bite.)

MIKEY: “Sweet Salvation.”

(Leo swats the pizza out of Mikey’s hand, which lands on a lizard Yokai and they quickly eat it up.)

MIKEY:  (cries) “HEY! My salvation!”

(Mikey cries for his lost food.)

LEO: “What are you doing? Don't eat that run of the mill garbage when you can have the world's greatest pizza!” [Trans. Int. Hall of Champions; Night]

(Leo gestures at the golden archway to the Maze of Death.)

DONNIE: (rolls eyes) “Oh, please. Every place in New York claims to have the world's greatest pizza.”

LEO: “Yeah yeah yeah, but this pizza is behind a velvet rope. Velvet rope, guys! Velvet rope! You know that means quality!”

[Trans. Int. Maze of Death arena; Night]

(They enter the maze arena. From a distance the maze looks like a pizza. Raph, Donnie and Mikey look confused while Leo looks excited.)

RAPH: “Leo, what is this place? I thought we were gettin’ pizza.”

LEO: “It's nothing. We just got to solve an easy straight forward maze first.”

RAPH: (annoyed) “Wait, what? I didn't sign up for a pre-meal maze.”

MIKEY: “Yeah. This looks really hard. My tummy just wants easy food!”

LEO: “Don't worry, just follow me. Onward, boys!”

(Leo leads the Turtles through the maze.)

LEO: “Left here, Just follow my lead. Left again.”

(Leo leads the group to dead end after dead end. Leo and Raph start to argue.)

RAPH: “No!” LEO: “Yes!”

(Montage of the Turtles getting lost in the maze while Leo over-confidently drags them onwards.)

RAPH: “No, we're lost!” LEO: “Guys, trust me. It's this way.”

(There is a strange gurgling noise as the Turtles walk, causing the group to stop. Raph, Donnie and Leo turn to look at Mikey.)

MIKEY: “That's not my tum-tum. Nu-uh.” LEO “No, no, no, no, that sounds of baking! We must be close.”

(They walk around the corner and see a quartet of anthropomorphic cooking tools: a furnace, rolling pin, pizza cutter, and a cheese grater. Together, they are making pizza.)

LEO: “Wow, look at this! They make the pizza right in front of you! Can we get four extra-larges? One meat lover and one definitely not hawaiian.”

(Leo looks back at his brothers to ask them what they want.)

LEO: “Okay how does everybody feel olives?”

(The four anthropomorphic tools pause their work and growl at the Turtles.)

MIKEY: “Looks like they hate olives.” LEO: “Huh?”

(Leo turns to look at the Tools again just as the Tools charge the Turtles. The Turtles turn, run and defend themselves.)

LEO: “Okay, okay, we don't need olives!”

(Leo blocks the Pizza Cutter with his mystical ōdachi while Donnie is punched by the Cheese Grater. Mikey gets hit by the rolling pin as Raph punches the Grater with his tonfā. He ducks as the Grater launches at him and Raph’s red bandana tails get shredded. Raph examines the damage.)

RAPH: “Oh, come on! Nice try, Shred head! Time for my mystic punch jitsu.”

(Raph goes to change up his mystic tonfā to deal a magical blow but Leo leaps sideways in front of Raph to stop him.)

LEO: (yelling) “No mystic powers!”

(Leo falls on the ground.)

RAPH: (baffled) “No mystic powers?”

(Raph gets pinned down by the grater. Leo cuts the Grater in half with his ōdachi.)

DONNIE: [OS] (frantic) “Help! Help help help!”

(The Oven is trying to force Donnie into its fiery maw to cook Donnie alive. They rescue Donnie and vanquish the oven.)

RAPH: (Annoyed) “What's up with this maze, Leo? I almost got my cheeks grated.”

(Leo spies the center of the maze.)

LEO: “Relax, we solved it! The pizza is just over-“

(The walls of the maze start to close around them, blocking their route.)

LEO:  “Oh no, it's closing!”

(The Turtles are now trapped and Leo punches the wall blocking their easy route in frustration.)

RAPH: “Why can't I use my power punch to take down this wall?”

LEO: (sheepishly) “Funny story. But I may have left one thing out. The only rule in the Maze of Death is no mystic powers.”

RAPH: “Maze of what now?”

LEO: “Okay, two things.”

(In the walls of the maze around them, spikes pop out and flame throwers activate. The walls begin to slowly advance towards them, if they’re not impaled or burnt to a crisp they will surely be crushed. Mikey and Donnie face back to back at the encroaching walls.)

DONNIE: “Uh, guys?” RAPH: “Not now, Donnie. What's going on here, Leo?”

(Donnie and Mikey duck a jet of flame but the top of Mikey’s head catches on fire. He doesn’t notice at first while Donnie covers his mouth and stares in shock. Then Mikey feels it and screams, running around in a panic.)

LEO: “Nothing, we're just here to get the pizza and to get my photo on the wall of champions.” RAPH: (mad) “Aha! I knew we weren't here for pizza! You wanted to come here so you could get your picture on the wall. To prove you're the best at something.”

(Donnie switches his tech-bō into fire extinguisher mode and extinguishes Mikey’s head with some sort of foam.)

LEO: “That's what I just said.”

RAPH: “Don't try to deny it, Leo. I got you!”

LEO (calmly) “I'm not trying to deny it.”

MIKEY: (cries) “We're gonna get skewered!”

(The walls get even nearer as the Turtles huddle up.)

LEO: “We're trapped, how are we gonna get out of here?!”

RAPH, DONNIE AND MIKEY: (shouting angrily) “Make a portal!”

LEO “I can't, it's against the rules. I'll never get my picture on the wall of champions.”

RAPH: “Who cares about some picture when we're gonna be crushed!”

LEO: (whining) “Fiiine.”

(Leo tries to make a portal with his ōdachi but nothing materializes.)

LEO:  (morosely) “I can't do it. I got no mystic mojo. I'm useless!”

(Raph steps closer to Leo and gently puts a hand on Leo’s shoulder.)

RAPH: (kindly) “Hey, that's not true, brother. You just got to believe in yourself and know this: (furious) If I die in this maze, I will haunt you for the rest of your life.”

DONNIE: “Well, in theory, you'd both be ghosts, so I'm not sure how you would-“

RAPH: “Donnie! Not helping!”

(Leo gives his brothers the puppy dog eyes.)

LEO: “You know it'd really help me if you guys said that I was your champion." RAPH, DONNIE AND MIKEY: (yelling furiously) “Just open it!”

(Leo sighs and turns around to make another attempt as the walls close in.)

LEO: (whispering to himself) “You're a champion.”

(Leo braces and manages to make an escape portal.)

LEO:  “I did it! I really am the best at-“

(Raph grabs everyone with his big arms and launches the group into the portal at once. He manages to squeeze them all through before the spikes impale them.)

[Trans. Int. Center of Maze of Death; Night]

(From above, the Turtles pop out of Leo’s exit portal screaming and land in a pile on the ground. Leo jumps up, delighted. There is a giant Minotaur statue holding a large pizza box on an open palm.)

LEO: “We're at the center of the maze!”

(Leo climbs up the statue and grabs the pizza box, holding it up triumphantly.)

LEO: “We got the pizza! I am the champion!”

(Raph, Mikey and Donnie cheer and celebrate their victory. The statue's giant head slowly turns to face Leo standing on its arm with a grinding sound.)

MINOTAUR: [OS] “Cheaters! Who dares to try and eat my pizza without following the strict customer agreement?”

(The turtles stop celebrating.)

DONNIE: “That cannot be good.”

(Green vines appear from nowhere and lunge at the Turtles, who scatter.)

MINOTAUR: [OS] “You can't escape me! I am the assistant manager of this maze, and the maze does what I want, pending corporate approval.”

(Mikey gets tossed into the air by a moving pillar and gets wrapped up in vines. Donnie runs but hits a dead end and the vines catch him, too.)

DONNIE: “No, no!” RAPH: “Uh oh.”

(Leo’s leg is grabbed by the vines and he’s hurled into the air, followed by Raph. Captured and bound, the Turtles are brought forward to the statue and a real Minotaur appears on top of the statue.)

MINOTAUR: (furious) “You cut up my maze! You cheated! Now you will all pay!”

(A magical hand of fire bursts into the air above the maze, coming down to smite the Turtles.)

LEO: “Wait!”

(The fire goes out.)

LEO: “I'm the one who cheated. I created the portal to save my brothers. Punish me, their champion.”

RAPH, DONNIE AND MIKEY: “Yeah! Punish him!"

MINOTAUR: “You all tried to cheat out my world's greatest za!"

(The Minotaur powers up to happily smite them. Leo thinks quickly.)

LEO: “How can you call it ‘world's greatest’? How do you know we haven't had better?”

(The Minotaur’s fire goes out and she looks annoyed.)

MINOTAUR: “What do you mean, ‘better’? You're not talking about Famous Minotaur Pizza on 19, are you?” Leo: (playing along) “Ohhhhh, man. You talking about FMP on 19th? I love that place!”

(The vines crush Leo a little, making him squeal in pain, then the vines put all the turtles down and release them.)

MINOTAUR: (yelling) “That garbage that's called pizza? Wait until you try mine!”

(The Minotaur opens up the large pizza box to offer a sample. The vines shove a piece of pizza each into each Turtle’s mouth, who all savor it.)

MIKEY: “This pizza good~.”

(The Minotaur smirks triumphantly.)

MINOTAUR “Best you ever had?”

DONNIE: “Really appreciate you letting us go, it was the right thing to do.”

LEO: (smugly) “Who's your champion, guys?”

(Raph, Donnie and Mikey all glower at Leo.)

LEO:  “They'll come around. First, where do we go to get our picture taken for the Wall of Champions? Cause I wanna make sure they capture my good side.”

(The Minotaur grins evilly and closes the pizza box.)

MINOTAUR: “Wrong wall.”

(One of the vines punches Leo in the face.)

[Trans. Int. Hall of Champions; Night]

(Under a sign on the wall that says ‘Cheaters,’ a photo of the turtles enjoying their ill-gotten pizza is pinned to the wall, with Leo passed out on the ground. They are the only group in the ‘Cheaters’ section.)

[END OF EPISODE]

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