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Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids. |
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[Hidden inside one of the Foot Clan's strongholds...] WOOOOOO-HA! |
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Michelangelo "Thank you, thankyeeeeew! I'm your sensei of smiles, Michelangelo!" TOK! TOK! TOK! Mikey "In the second ring is the bro with a bō—Donatello!" Mikey "In the third ring we've got the radically ripped Raphael!" Mikey "And in the center ring—your hosts—the Foot Clan!" |
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HOP! Mikey "If this was a circus, we'd have some decent snacks!" Mikey "Besides—the Foot is working to better the city, right?" Jenny "Yes. Master Splinter has us bringing order to—" Mikey "These kids lost everything. Their parents. Their homes." Mikey "Ev." Mikey "Ree." Mikey "Thing." |
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Mikey "Isn't giving them a few minutes of happiness bettering the city?" Mikey "A little bit of hope is the same as "order," right?" Mikey "Ah? Ahhhh? There's a smile!" Jenny "Fine. You made your point." Jenny "Still hard to believe you're one of Splinter's sons." |
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Splinter "I am deeply concerned about the state of things, Leonardo." Leonardo "Yes, Master Splinter. These are... Trying times." Leo "The war between the Triceratons and the Earth Defense Force was relatively brief, but devastating to the city..." Leo "...And we have the ever-looming issue of the Pantheon." Leo "Rat King has been handled for now, but we don't know what the others are planning." Leo "And then there's all those poor orphans..." Splinter "They are not the children I am concerned about." Leo "I beg your pardon?" Splinter "Yes, you should." |
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Splinter "I placed you as master of the Hamato Clan because I thought you could be trusted with that responsibility." Splinter "You have made me question that decision ever since." Leo "What do you... We've been—!" Splinter "You and your brothers have been habitually disobedient and blatantly defiant as of late." Splinter "I forgave it when dealing with Saki. There was wisdom in yourplan if an unsettling lack of respect." Splinter "It continued as you openly questioned my methods in front of the Foot. You have actively undermined my efforts to protect you and this city." Splinter "Your mishandling of the Triceraton threat cannot be overlooked. You have prolonged the issue, ensuring future instability." Splinter "You fought me." Splinter "And after it all, you come to me with a small army of orphans, begging your father for help. Because now you need me." Splinter "Now. Go on. Tell me what you and your brothers have done." Leo "It isn't... You can't just... We..." |
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Leo "I apologize for any disrespect on the part of the Hamato Clan, Master Splinter. It was not our intention. As master of the clan, this judgment should fall on me." Leo "I humbly ask you take in the children. Please do not let my shortcomings punish them." Splinter "Hmm. The Foot Clan will honor your request. We will take in the children." Leo "Thank you, Fath—" Splinter "These will be the terms." |
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Donatello "Leo's done talking with Father!" Mikey "Aaaaaaaaand—!" Mikey "—We're done! G'nite everybody!" MIKEY! MIKEY! YAAAY! MIKEY! |
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Donnie "How did it go?" Leo "It certainly... Went." Leo "He's agreed to take in the kids..." Donnie "Nice!" Mikey "Yeah!" Leo "...To be trained as the next generation of Foot Ninja." Donnie "That's... Wow..." Mikey "No way!" |
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Mikey "You can't let him do that, Leo! They're kids! They're not soldiers!" Leo "I-I'm sorry, Mikey. I didn't have a lot of room to negotiate." Mikey "Then forget him! We'll take them in! There's four of us! We can make it work!" Leo "No. We can't. We don't have the space for them." Leo "We don't have the food, the resources, and none of us know how to raise one kid—never mind this many." Donnie "He's right. With the city in chaos, the Foot Clan is the only group with the infrastructure to take on so many on short notice." Raphael "...It's rough out there these days." Raph "Wouldn't hurt for them to learn how to defend themselves..." |
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Mikey "We told him we could end things peacefully with the Triceratons, but he still tried to murder Zom!" Mikey "And when you tried to stop him, he stomped all of you! What kind of dad does that to his sons?!" Raph "Yeah, and I couldn't help but notice you weren't pitching in." Mikey "I don't want to fight him! I don't ant to fight my family—period!" |
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Raph "Yeah, well, we can't fight him. He showed us that when he handed us our asses." Donnie "He's a clan master and our father. I hate to say it, but we have to follow his lead." Leo "And we have to keep the peace between the Foot Clan and the Hamato Clan." Leo "It's the first time they've been allies in hundreds of years." Mikey "Selling off a bunch of kids to become assassins doesn't sound very "peaceful" to me." |
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! HCK! Girl A "Mmzzkp... Mikey?" Mikey ··Wakey-wakey, little dude! Time for a surprise super-secret ninja stealth adventure!·· Mikey ··Help me get everyone up and moving. And keep it cool, got it?·· Girl A ··Got it!·· |
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SLAM Splinter "Wake. Up." Donnie "Ugh... Mikey, get up. Something's—" Donnie "—Mikey?" Jenny "The children are gone and their guards tied up." Raph "He wouldn't have. Would he?" Splinter "Follow me. I will handle this." |
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Mikey "Keep up, little dudes! We've got a long way to go!" Girl A "Uh... Mikey?" Mikey "It's Sensei Mikey now!" Girl A "Okay—Sensei Mikey—where are we going?" Mikey "We're going to... Um..." Mikey (Wait. If we go to the lair, the guys will find us in no time.) Mikey (April's folks have a small place. Casey... Where does Casey live? The Mutanimals... Nah, I can't bring these kids near Hob...) Mikey "We're going... Uuuuuh-pstate! Yeah! We'll find some nice farm land and settle there!" Girl A "Does the sewer go that far?" Mikey "It's got to! I mean, they've got toilets out there, don't they?" |
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Mikey "Fresh air! Sunshine! Totally get back to nature!" Girl A "Is that how you grew up?" Mikey "Totally! I mean—kinda. In another life." Boy A "What?" Mikey "It was forever ago, but I remember when I was little and Father was first teaching me..." Hamato Yoshi (flashback) "Are they too heavy?" Orange Hamato Son (flashback) "No. What do I do with them?" Yoshi (f) "You swing them. Start slowly." THOK! |
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Orange (f) "Waaaaaah!" Yoshi (f) "What happened?" Orange (f) "I-I-I-It hit me!" Yoshi (f) "Did it? It swung all by itself?" Orange (f) "N-No... I swung it..." Yoshi (f) "So, in fact, you hit yourself." Yoshi (f) "Try again." Orange (f) "I don't want to get hurt!" Yoshi (f) "Then do not let it happen." Yoshi (f) "Control yourself, and it will follow." Orange (f) "I'm doing it!" Yoshi (f) "Very good. Now—watch me and do as I do." |
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Mikey "Yeah. It'll be like that. I'll be like that." Mikey "Except... Instead of one dad and four kids, it'll be one me and... A bunch of kids." Mikey "Which.. Y'know, s'cool. I'll improvise." Mikey "Five... Ten... Fifteen..." Mikey "Oh crap. Where is everybody else?" Mikey "Okay! Um—everybody... Hold position! I'll be right back!" |
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(Mikey grabs boy B who fell off a high sewer ledge) (Mikey holds boy B and boy C while trying to climb a sewer ladder) (Mikey shepherds boy C and boy D ahead) (Mikey tries to break up an argument between boy E and boy F) |
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Boy D "It stinks down here!" Mikey "Y-You get used to it..." Boy C "Sensei? I'm hungry." Mikey "We'll—hrk—get some eats in a bit!" Boy G "I'm tired!" Girl A "Are we there yet?" |
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Mikey "Okay—everybody off. I gotta take a breather." Other Child "My head hurts." Yet Another Child "Are we lost?" Still Yet Another Child "My stomach's not happy." Mikey "Just—stop! Give me—like—five minutes!" Mikey (No no no! I'm already doing this wrong. Maybe my bros were right—this is too much to handle.) Mikey (But what else am I suppose to do? I can't take them back to—) Splinter "Michelangelo." |
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Mikey "Everybody get across! Wait for me on the other side!" Splinter "Stop this foolishness at once." Splinter "You embarrass yourself and your brothers." Mikey "Slow and steady! Just keep one foot in front of the other!" Splinter "All you are doing is making things worse!" Splinter "Come over here with the children immediately before you truly cause—" Mikey "Screw you!" |
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Splinter "What did you say to me?" Mikey "I said screw! You!" Mikey "You betrayed everything you taught us! Everything you told us to be!" Mikey "These kids lost all they've ever known, and instead of helping them, you want to turn them into weapons?!" Mikey "You're worse than Shredder!" |
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Leo "Father..." Jenny "He didn't mean..." Splinter "I am clan master." Mikey "Leo is my clan master now!" Splinter "I am your father." Mikey "That doesn't mean I'm a dumb kid you can boss around!" Mikey "Either you're the Foot master or my father! You can't have it both ways!" Splinter "You will do as I say or face your punishment." Splinter "I see." Splinter "So be it." |
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Jenny "Such defiance... Such utter disrespect... He's going to kill him." Raph "It's going to get ugly, that's for sure." Donnie "Leo? How do you want to approach this?" Leo "We don't. I see what he's doing." Donnie "Are you seriously implying Mikey has a plan?" Leo "Yeah. So we'll let him see it through." CRACK! |
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(Splinter appears shocked that Mikey injured his cheek) (other turtles and Jennika appear terrified) |
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THAK! THOK! CLANG! CRAK! |
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RAAAAA TOK! FLiNG! KRAK! |
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CRAK! (Splinter and Mikey pick up and wield the other person's weapons from off the floor) KLAK! KRAK! |
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Mikey "{Huff huff huff}" Splinter "Enough! Yield, Michelangelo!" Mikey "Never. My father taught me to do what's right." Mikey "My sensei taught me to fight the killers of the Foot Clan." Mikey "If you want these kids, it'll be over my dead body." |
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(tense standoff) Splinter "Master Leonardo. Step forward." Leo "Y-Yes sir." |
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Splinter "I must congratulate you." Leo "For... What?" Splinter "For this demonstration. It shows me just how devoted the Hamato Clan is to protecting this city's citizens‐and the next generation." Splinter "I expect this same level of devotion when you help in educating and training them." Leo "Forgive me, Master Splinter. I seem to have forgotten the details of our arrangement." Leo "Please—remind me." |
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Splinter "The Foot Clan will see to it that these children are fed, clothed, and sheltered." Splinter "They shall be given a full education so they will be prepared to return to the world." Splinter "The Hamato Clan will continue this evening's exercise, exclusively training the children in martial arts." Splinter "When the children come of age, they will have the option to further their skills by joining the Foot Clan." Splinter "I believe that was the arrangement, was it not?" Leo "It was. Thank you for the reminder." |
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Mikey "Wait... That's not what you told us this afternoon." Leo ··You won, you goober. He's given you an honorable way out.·· Mikey "Ooooooooh..." Splinter "Thank you, chunin. Run ahead and bring sufficient forces to gather the children back to the compound." Splinter "It is late, and we are all very tired." Jenny "At once, Master. But... Are you all right?" Splinter "I just raised my hand in anger against one of my beloved sons. That will never be "all right." " |
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Mikey "Yeah! Woo! You all just passed your first lesson of ninja training!" Mikey "One day you'll be able to pull off sick moves just like me and Master Splinter—er—demonstrated!" (Mikey in noticeable pain) Girl A "Aren't you hurt, Sensei Mikey?" Raph "Him? Nah! He's super tough! Those were just love taps, right?" Mikey "Yeeeee-eah..." Jenny "Everyone stay put! I'll bring help! A-And snacks!" Donnie "That had to be the stupidest and most brilliant thing I've ever seen!" Raph "Yeah, bro! You've been holding back on us!" Raph "I'm not going easy on you when we spar next time!" Mikey "Haha, c'mon you guys..." |
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(Leo bows to Mikey) Mikey "What is this?" (Leo hugs Mikey) Mikey "Leo? You're freakin' me out, man." Leo "Thank you Mikey. For doing what I could not." Mikey "What? Getting my ass kicked?" Leo "For standing up to Father when I couldn't. And to bring about positive change." |
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Mikey "Aw, c'mon! It wasn't... It's not like I planned it all out." Mikey "It's just... All this noise just... Pushed me to my limit, y'know?" Mikey "But I knew if I pushed Father to his limit, forced him to choose, I knew he'd remember he loved us more than anything." HA HA! HA! HA HA HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Raph "All this and he's so humble! Bring it in, you nerds!" |