[Theme song; opening sequence]
[Episode opens in a sewer tunnel. Raphael is walking along, by himself, and clearly in a panic.]
Raph "All alone. He, he. Where are my brothers? They said they’d be here."
[He’s laughing nervously and staring at his phone. He climbs part way up a ladder as though trying to get cell reception, not realizing that his brothers are behind him.]
Mikey "Uh, oh, Donnie forgot to text Raph we were running late."
Don "Oh, sweet, sweet Angelo, how soon you forget that today, I am on vacation. Hence, my board shorts; the international sign for “I’m not a useful member of society.”"
Leo "We only left the guy alone for five minutes. And we told him we had to find tubes."
[Raph still hasn’t noticed them. Mikey shoves his brothers aside.]
Mikey "This is a job for Dr. Delicate Touch.
Get your mind right, son!"
[clears throat and then shouts]
Get your mind right, son!"
[Startled, Raph falls off the ladder and lands in the water. Mikey does a cannonball into the water next to him.]
Raph "What took so long? You know Raph gets weird when I’m left alone."
Leo "Relax. Did you get a tube?"
[Raph holds up a gigantic tube.]
Leo and Mikey "Whoa!"
Don "Where did you get that?"
Raph "Uh...
Borrowed it from Splinter?"
[Flash to the Turtle Tank, missing a tire.]
Borrowed it from Splinter?"
Don "Splinter, who only owns robes and a shady past, let you—"
[Before he can finish, Leo slaps Don’s tube over his body and tosses him into the water.]
Raph "Tube time!"
Don "Okay, men, New York sewers are a dangerous and complex labyrinth—"
Mikey "Full of creatures and games and rides? This is gonna be amazing!"
Don "What? No! Where do you think we are? Just take every left turn to stay on the lazy river, capisce?"
Raph "Whatever, Donnie. Mad Dogs, ahoy!"
Leo "Ain’t this the life, boys? A day off from Splinter’s training to kick back and bask in the luxury of—"
Raph "Dunk-a-roo!"
[Raph goes spinning in the air above his brothers and they all yelp in fear. He smashes into them, sending everyone into the water. They rise up coughing and gasping.]
Don "Can’t you guys just do a sports pass with your smelly ball or something?"
Raph "Who you calling smelly? Lace Face has been part of this family longer than you. Now, let’s run the Midnight Special, boys!"
Mikey "Look alive, Leo!"
[Raph throws the ball to Mikey, who kicks the ball to Leo. Leo rolls it across his arms with some fancy moves.]
Leo "And trick passing."
[Leo sends the ball towards Don, who hits it up into the air.]
Don "Sports!"
Raph "I got it, I got it!
Oh, yeah!
Yeah!
Uh, oh."
[He catches it.]
Oh, yeah!
[His brothers cheer.]
Yeah!
[The water takes him backwards and he enters a tunnel on the right side, before falling out of sight.]
Uh, oh."
Mikey "Our football! Oh, and Raph!"
[The other three turtles are pulled to the left side tunnel.]
All "Wrong way! Raph, whee! Raph, whee!"
[The water runs steeply downhill. They see Raph in the tunnel next to them, but pillars separate them from him.]
Raph "Guys! Don’t leave me alone!"
Leo "We will find you, Raph!"
[The three turtles yell as they shoot out of a pipe and fall to land in a deep pool below it.]
Leo "Raph is all alone! Guys, we need to—"
Mikey "Go down that slide again?"
Don "Yes, agreed. Raph’ll make it home eventually, I’m sure."
Leo "No, Raph’s our brother, and—"
Mikey "Then why doesn’t he have Splinter’s rugged good looks like we do?"
[Leo shoves Mikey’s tube onto him, which flips him upside down in the water.]
Leo "You know how savage Raph gets when he’s alone. He’ll totally lose it if we don’t find him fast. Clock’s ticking."
Don "Fine. But just so we’re clear, today is my day off. Respect the board shorts, bros."
Leo "Okay, cool. Now, we need to get back up that tunnel to where we lost him."
[In the background, Mikey flips back over.]
Mikey "You guys gotta try this."
[He inhales sharply and flips himself back over. In another pipe, Raph thumps heavily against its sides before he’s spit out in another area of the sewers. He grabs onto a handhold and looks down, seeing what looks like an almost bottomless drop.]
Raph "Tire, and Lace Face, we just need to pull ourselves up and—
Tire, Lace Face! My emotional crutches!"
[He realizes he’s not holding either item.]
Tire, Lace Face! My emotional crutches!"
[After watching them fall out of sight, Raph pulls himself up into a dark area marked “Flood Control Room”.]
Raph "Okay, Raph, you’re a little lost, a bit scared, and very alone.
Time to panic!
I’m alone and panicking, panicking, panicking, panicking!
Oof, glad I kept that part under control.
Whoopsie-daisy."
[He breathes heavily and then exhales, looking serene for half a second.]
Time to panic!
[He starts smashing things.]
I’m alone and panicking, panicking, panicking, panicking!
[He stops.]
Oof, glad I kept that part under control.
[He looks around at the extensive damage.]
Whoopsie-daisy."
[The sound of metal creaking makes him look over to a set of damaged pipes. Above them hangs a sign “Warning: Lower East Side Main Valve”. It bursts and water shoots out.]
Leo "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys hear that?"
[A tidal wave washes over them, carrying them down through another pipe even farther below ground. They smash against its sides as they plummet.]
All "Aah! Oof! Ah!"
Don "Ow, my brain! Ow, my other brain!"
[Raph is walking through the sewers and just barely hears the sound of their voices.]
Raph "Huh, guys? Is that you? Where are you? Don’t lose it, Raph. Please."
[Above him, the Sando brothers spot Raph walking by himself.]
Carl "Hey Ben, look. It’s that red guy."
Ben "Oh, he’s one of those turtle jerks that we hate, you know, for reasons I can’t remember. Let’s eat him!"
Carl "Do you know how much trouble turtle is to eat? You gotta crack the shell, you gotta drain the goo, you gotta scoop out the eyeballs so he can’t see you eating them. Plus, it’s not even that much meat. No thanks. Hard pass."
Ben "Okay, what if I told you there’s a shortcut? I heard if you scare them, they just pop right out of their shell."
Carl "And they just what, like, jump into your belly?"
Ben "Yes! Well, uh, actually, full disclosure, I don’t know. But let’s find out!"
[In another section of the sewer, the other three turtles are covered in bumps and bruises, all groaning in pain. Donatello drops ice into a pineapple shell, adds a straw, and starts sipping a cold drink.]
Leo "Uh, where did you get that?"
Don "Today’s vibes were supposed to be chill, so I went ahead and filled my Battle Shell with some refreshment."
Mikey "Just one, Donald?"
Don "And ice. I’m not an animal."
Leo "Then give us ice for our horribly mangled bodies."
[There’s a mechanical whirring from the Battle Shell and the sound of ice dropping.]
Don "It melted.
Mmm, perfect."
[He slurps his drink.]
Mmm, perfect."
Mikey "Guys, I think something horrible happened here!"
[They’ve made it to the “Flood Control Room” and see the destruction.]
Don "Respect the shorts, please. It is my day off. But if I was able to do some analysis, I’d tell you that—"
Leo "Raph was here."
Don "Let’s not jump to conclusions there, Leon."
[Leonardo points to a brick wall. Painted in huge letters is “RAPH WHZ”.]
Mikey "Maybe this Raph’s seen our Raph."
Leo "We’d better hurry."
[Back to Raphael, walking along a bridge over a deep cavern.]
Raph "Alone, stay sharp. Must find my—"
[The Sando brothers, covered in mud and twigs, jump down in front of him. Both laugh evilly.]
Raph "Ah, sewer monsters!"
Ben "Yeah, we’re sewer monsters!"
Carl "And we’re gonna pop you out of that shell and eat you whole, from face to toenails!"
Ben "And you will live in our monster bellies alone forever!"
Raph "Raph, forever alone?"
[Closeup of his brain shows it splitting apart and exploding. Raph roars and attacks, knocking them both down. The dust start to clear and they stand up, only to be confronted by Raph’s alter-ego.]
Raph "Savage Raph hunt sewer monsters!"
[The Sando brothers scream in fear as Raph pounces on them, giving both a savage beating. They both try running away and he gives chase.]
Carl "Make him stop!"
Ben "I’m not as tough as I pretend to be!"
[The three turtles arrive at the bridge and see all the damage.]
Mikey "Someone could get really hurt on this. Let’s see how far it swings."
Leo "Chill, I think I found something."
[He points to a large hole in the bridge.]
Don "Once again, I’d love to help bail us all out with my undeniable and prodigious genius, but—"
Leo "It was Raph. Look."
[He points to the large tire that Raph dropped, which is swirling in a whirlpool that clogged with debris.]
Mikey "That’s Donnie’s tire. I mean, Raph’s tube."
Don "Uh, right. Well, Leo, since you sell the fewest action figures, why don’t you go ahead and jump first?"
Leo "Ignoring that. Raph’s lost because your bad pass ruined the Midnight Special."
Mikey "Leo, chill. We can’t freak out. Nobody freak out. Stop freaking out, Donnie!"
[He shakes Don until a metal rattling sound stops him. Suddenly the bridge gives out and they all fall.]
Leo "Make a human shield around me!"
[They hit the tire and their weight smashes through the clog. All plummet into a debris filled pool below. When they stand up, all three are covered in mud and sludge.]
Mikey "Ew, gross!"
Leo "Guys, we found him! Look!"
[They see Raph sitting with his back to them in front of a campfire.]
Don "Thousand percent, not Raph. Staking my life on it, shorts."
Raph " Raph alone!"
Don "It might be Raph, but who-- who’s to say anymore?"
[Leo starts walking towards Raph.]
Leo "This stuff is really caked on."
[Dramatic music plays as Raph smears red paint across his face and then pulls a lemon apart. He squeezes the lemon onto Carl’s face.]
Carl "Lemon? Oh, it burns!"
[The screen changes to a wider view. Carl is tied to a spit and is roasting over open flames as Raph squeezes more lemon on him.]
Carl "Oh, it’s in my eye stalks!"
Leo "Raph, we found you! You have no idea how-- are you barbecuing villains?"
[All three are standing together to look at Raph. In the background it’s clear that both Sando brothers are on the spit. Raph growls as he looks at his brothers.]
Raph "More sewer monsters?"
Leo and Mikey "Huh?"
Don "I’m sorry, sewer monsters? Raph, hey, you are harshing the rescue vibes, my man. It’s us, okay? Your brothers."
Raph "No brothers. Savage Raph alone!"
[He charges at them, carrying a spear. They dodge his attacks.]
Leo "We’re here to bring you home."
Raph "Sewer monsters invade! Must squash!"
[He turns and throws the spear at Mikey. It goes into the back of his shirt and pins Mikey to the wall next to a big pipe marked “Flood Valve”. Then Raph plants his palm against Mikey’s chest and Mikey starts swinging at him.]
Mikey "Okay, I want off this ride now. Snap out of it, Raph."
Raph "Squash you!"
[Leo jumps on Raph’s back.]
Leo "He still can’t tell it’s us.
But if we get this sewer sludge off-- Mikey, open that flood valve!"
[He looks up and sees the valve.]
But if we get this sewer sludge off-- Mikey, open that flood valve!"
Mikey "Hm...
Hm, need something stronger."
[He strains trying to open it. In the background, Leo and Don are fighting with Raph.]
Hm, need something stronger."
Leo and Don "Use Raph, use Raph, use Raph!"
Mikey "No one’s gonna shout the answer at me and make all my problems disappear. Time for a little razzmatazz.
Raph, I’m a nasty sewer monster. Don’t you wanna come squash me?"
[He stands in front of the valve.]
Raph, I’m a nasty sewer monster. Don’t you wanna come squash me?"
[Raph tosses the other two turtles aside and charges. Mikey leaps out of the way and Raph smashes into the valve, breaking it open. Water shoots out and floods the tunnel. The Sando brothers go floating away.]
Carl "So long, jerks!"
[The three younger turtles jump up, completely clean.]
Don "Wait, where’s Raph?
Board shorts were my undoing!"
[Raph grabs his undies, giving him a wedgie as he lifts Don.]
Board shorts were my undoing!"
Raph "Clean sewer monsters still sewer monsters! Savage Raph destroy!"
[He throws Don across the chamber. His crash dislodges the football and Leo picks it up.]
Leo "Lace Face. Guys, I know how we can get our brother back. The Midnight Special!"
[He tosses the football up high.]
Raph "Huh?"
Mikey "Look alive, Leo!"
[He kicks the ball to Leo, who performs his trick moves.]
Leo "And trick passing!"
[He passes it off to Don, who hits it like a volleyball.]
Don "Sports!"
Raph "No!"
[He makes a diving catch and then spikes the ball as he laughs.]
Raph "Yo, did y’all see that?"
[His brothers all hug him.]
Don "Raph!"
Leo "You’re back, baby!"
Raph "Back? Uh, oh, did I get weird again?"
Mikey "Super weird, even by my standards."
Leo "But we learned a valuable something about never something-ing you alone again."
Raph "Aw, I love you guys. Now let’s go home and try tubing again tomorrow."
[Later, Don enters the garage while sipping his cold drink. He flips on the light and then his eyes widen. The Turtle Tank is missing all of its tires and the blocks its on collapse, dropping the Tank with a crash. Don’s eyebrow twitches and he crushes the pineapple cup.]
Don "Raph!"
[End episode]