[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Open on a New York City night sky. Pan down to the Turtle Lair. The Turtles and Splinter are watching one of April O’Neil’s news reports.]
April O'Neil "And our final news item, a sensational announcement from the mayor. Tonight, His Honor will announce his solution to end all crime for good."
Turtles "Yeah, sure. Oh, right. Do that."
April "We will be covering the story live, at City Hall, at 8:00. This is April O'Neil, Channel 6 News, signing off."
[Donatello enters the lair.]
Donatello "Ah, boy. Am I glad to be back."
Splinter "What has happened, Donatello? You were going to the library."
Donatello "I did! That's where some hoods jumped me!"
Leonardo "In the public library?"
Raphael "I hope they were quiet about it."
Donatello "Hey, no joke! There were five of 'em! But I cleaned their clocks."
Michelangelo "Well, what did those rude dudes want?"
Donatello "My library book."
Raphael "
“The Life Cycle of the Arctic Amoeba?” Ha ha! Boy, the criminals in this city really are getting desperate."
[Reads the book’s title.]
“The Life Cycle of the Arctic Amoeba?” Ha ha! Boy, the criminals in this city really are getting desperate."
Leonardo "Hmm. What time did April say the mayor's meeting was?"
[On a stage inside City Hall, the mayor begins his speech.]
Mayor "Fellow citizens, it gives me great pleasure to present the answer to our city's crime problem. Professor Ignatz Mindbender."
[The audience applauds as Mindbender bows. Next to him is a large object covered with a cloth. In disguises, the Turtles are standing off to the side with April, who is filming the speech.]
Leonardo "He's the solution to our law and order problem?"
Raphael "Great. Now we can retire and write our memoirs."
Mayor "Professor Mindbender is the world's greatest expert on law enforcement. Tell them about it, Professor."
[Mindbender takes the microphone off the stand.]
Ignatz Mindbender "Now, then. I shall explain my ideas, and you will enjoy them very much. And that is an order! [chuckles.] Just kidding!"
Raphael "Man. If this guy's for real, I am a salamander."
[The others shush him.]
Mindbender "The problem of crime is caused by humans. Therefore, the solution is robots!
Namely, LEX, which stands for Law Enforcement Expediter. LEX, what is the square root of 11.3 zillion?"
[He pulls the cloth off a very large robot.]
Namely, LEX, which stands for Law Enforcement Expediter. LEX, what is the square root of 11.3 zillion?"
LEX "Why bother? You would not understand the answer."
Mindbender "You see? You see? A mathematical genius! And not only that, LEX can burrow under the ground, see through walls, and fly! Fly for the people, LEX!"
[LEX lifts off and flies over the audience.]
Michelangelo "Whoa, compadres! I hope chrome dome's got a pilot's license!"
Mindbender "Even better, LEX is bulletproof!
And he doesn't have to stop for donuts and coffee! So who needs policemen? Anything else you'd like to demonstrate for the people, LEX?"
[LEX lands on the stage.]
And he doesn't have to stop for donuts and coffee! So who needs policemen? Anything else you'd like to demonstrate for the people, LEX?"
LEX "Yes.
I am one bad dude."
[He fires a laser blast at the speaker’s podium and blows it up.]
I am one bad dude."
[The audience cheers and applauds. Later, at a bank, April is at a cashier station and other patrons go about their business.]
Pinky McFingers "Okay, everybody! Freeze!
In case you haven't guessed, this is a heist. Hands up!"
[He and two of his goons hold guns on everyone in the bank.]
In case you haven't guessed, this is a heist. Hands up!"
April "It's Pinky McFingers and his gang! If I can just contact the Turtles."
[She opens her Turtlecom.]
McFingers "Fix your face later. Now get over there with the others."