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[Opening sequence and theme song.]


[Episode opens with all four turtles searching the local dump.]

Leonardo "Watch it, Donatello, they could be hiding anywhere."

Raphael "Why would Shredder and that gruesome twosome hang around here?"

Michelangelo "Exactamundo, dude. This place is a dump."

Donatello "Actually, it's called a waste disposal area."

Raphael "Well, like Shakespeare said, and I quote, "a garbage dump by any other name still stinks"."

Leonardo "Will you fellows please pay attention? We can't let Shredder surprise us. Look, over there!"

Donatello "It's all four of them."

All "Go, green machine!"

[They charge up a hill of junk where they see Shredder, Bebop, Rocksteady, and Krang.]

Leonardo "Hi-yah!"

Donatello "Ee-ya!"

[Leonardo and Donatello attack what turn out to be cardboard cutouts.]

Splinter "Excellent work, my students. This training session will be of great value, if we can get certain other turtles to take it seriously."

Michelangelo "Oh, come on, it's such a bodacious day, Master. We ought to be partying, not fighting."

Leonardo "But we need these sessions to keep up our skills, Michelangelo."

Raphael "We can't keep our skills up with cardboard bad guys."

Splinter "Then I will give you and Michelangelo a worthy adversary, Raphael."

Raphael "Really? Who?"

Splinter "Leonardo and Donatello. The four of you shall pair off as teams. Each team will defend a mountain. Whoever takes the other team's mountain wins."

Michelangelo "How about we just give you guys our mountain now so we can just grab a pizza?"

Raphael "Oh, come on, Michelangelo. We've got to at least make an effort."

Splinter "You seem troubled, Leonardo."

Leonardo "I'm worried, Sensei. We're leaving the sewers unguarded."

Raphael "Right, like there's a big line of people who want to move into them."

[At a warehouse in the city, workers unload a truck while a manager checks the items off his clipboard list.]

Manager "One gross alligator shoes. Four gross alligator handbags. Ah, two gross alligator suitcases.
[He hears growling from inside the truck.]

And one really gross alligator!
"

Leatherhead "You real lucky none of these here be my relatives. I be looking for four big turtles wearing masks."

Manager "Y-y-you mean the teenage mutant ninja turtles?"

Leatherhead "That be them. Where they at?"

Manager "I don't know. But I've heard they live down in the sewers."

Leatherhead "Uhh! Then I'm going to pay them a little visit."

[Cut to the Channel 6 news building, where April and others watch her news broadcast.]

April O'Neil "And so the mystery deepens-- who stole an entire tanker truck full of rat poison from here at the Bug Off Exterminating Company? And why? This is April O'Neil for Channel 6 happy hour news."

Burne Thompson "That's it, April? Why, you barely scratched the surface!"

April "What are you driving at, chief?"

Thompson "You're going to get the real story on this crime. And I'm sending Vernon along to supervise."

Vernon "Uh, me? Now let's not be hasty, boss."

Thompson "No arguing. Just do it."

April "Oh, great! I'm stuck with Vernon."

Irma "Sounds like a good idea to me. When you're looking for rat poison, take along a rat."

[Shift to Leatherhead, who is searching the sewer system.]

Leatherhead "This sewer is some kind of crazy place. Them turtles could be anywhere."

[He looks into a drain pipe just as water spills out and takes a face full.]

Leatherhead "I've come all this way just to give them turtles the pounding of they life. And I'm gonna do it. I wonder what's up this way."

[He climbs a ladder and comes up in the middle of subway train tracks.]

Leatherhead "Sacrebleu!"

[An oncoming train blows its horn. Leatherhead falls, bounces into a pipe, slides out and lands in water and mud.]

Leatherhead "Whoa! Ahh, when I find them four freaks, I'll make the hottest pot of turtle gumbo you ever seen! I guarantee."

[Back at the city dump, Leonardo is reviewing a map of the grounds.]

Leonardo "Now the way I see it, if we each cut around to the side, we can outflank them. What do you think, Donatello?"

Donatello "Forget strategy, Leonardo. It's technology that's going to win this war."

Raphael "Come on, we can beat those losers with our hands tied behind our shells, right, Michelangelo? Michelangelo?"

Michelangelo "Over here, amigo."

Raphael "What the heck are you doing?"

Michelangelo "Just catching some rays, bud."

Raphael "I can already see the tide of victory turning against us."

[Return to Leatherhead, walking through the sewers.]

Leatherhead "These sewers, they bad as the swamp back home. At least in the swamp, a gator knew where he stood.
[He falls into a pit.]

Uhh! This be some kind of trap I'm betting.
"

Rat King "How very observant of you. I am the Rat King. How dare you invade my domain!"

Leatherhead "I be Leatherhead, and a Florida swamp gator go where he pleases."

Rat King "Oh, really? Tell that to my rats."

Leatherhead "No stinking rodent ever beat a gator, by gumbo."

Rat King "Until now. Here, have a soda pop bomb."

Leatherhead "Ha ha ha ha! I crush this silly thing.
[It blows up.]

This silly thing-- she crush back. Uhh.
"

Rat King "Since my rats and I are destined to rule the world, I shall make you my slave."

[He tosses down a metal collar, which snaps onto Leatherhead’s neck. Rat King pulls on the chain attached to the collar and drags Leatherhead out of the pit.]

Leatherhead "This don't be one of my better days, I guarantee."

[Shift to April, Vernon, and Irma, who are investigating an underground parking structure.]

April "This is the spot where the tanker truck was last seen. Look! A hole in the wall."

Irma "Sounds like my apartment."

April "It looks as though someone chewed through it. Come on, give me a hand with this. Uh."

[All three push against the offset wall of bricks and it swings open.]

April "It leads straight into the sewers."

Irma "Somebody in the sewers stole a truck load of rat poison? Why?"

April "Look. A piece of cloth, the same kind that the Rat King wears."

[Back in the sewers, the Rat King has brought Leatherhead to his hideout.]

Rat King "Care for a morsel of muenster?"

[He chuckles.]

Leatherhead "I'd rather take a bite out your hide."

Rat King "Insolent slave, when my rats and I have taken control of the world, you'll sing a different tune."

Leatherhead "Is that so, cheddar breath? And how you be doing that?"

Rat King "Since you are an inferior non-rodent and cannot possibly harm me, I will show you with this.
[He raises a wall panel which discloses the stolen truck.]

Enough poison to help me rule the world.
"

Leatherhead "You gonna rule the world with a truckload of poison? Coo! You'll be one beaucoup crazy guy yet."

Rat King "Crazy, am I? Ha ha ha ha. This rat poison will no longer threaten my beloved rats. Rather, it will serve them. By altering its formula, I shall change it into a hypnotic gas whose vapors will turn humans into mindless slaves.
[He pours ingredients from jars into the tanker truck.]

A pinch of this, a smidgen of that, and my faithful rats and I will take our rightful place as masters of the world. Finished. And while the formula settles, I shall search for suitable test subjects. Just to make certain it works. Ha ha ha ha.
"

Leatherhead "This fellow be a few shrimp shy of a boatload, I'm thinking."

[Back to the three newshounds, who are still searching the sewers.]

Vernon "I'm wet, tired, and hungry. And I want to go home."

April "But Vernon, Burne said you have to dig for these stories."

Vernon "He meant you, not me."

April "Look what I found."

Irma "What is it?"

April "One of Rat King's soda pop grenades."

Vernon "A rat! Oh, I hate rats."

April "Quick, let's follow it. It might lead us to the Rat King's lair."

Vernon "Wait, where are you going? Don't leave me."

Irma "I'd rather follow a four-legged rat than stay here with a two-legged one."

[Inside the Rat King’s lair, Leatherhead struggles with his chains.]

Leatherhead "Once I cook them turtle shells, I going to make me a big batch of Rat King stew, I guarantee. A key."

[He tosses a clamp at the table and snags the key to his chains. He unlocks himself and goes to the table, where he gathers an armload of jars.]

Leatherhead "By gumbo, that be what old Leatherhead be needing. Now I get me some fine revenge-- cajun hot style."

[The three humans are following the rat.]

April "We're still on its tail."

Vernon "What an ugly tail it is."

April "This way!"

Rat King "So, my beauties, did you find some test subjects for me? You!"

All Three "Ew! Ew!"

Vernon "I've got a vacation coming, and I'm taking it."

[Screams and runs.]

Rat King "No. No. Don't run away."

Vernon "I can't take any more of this.
[He falls into a pit.]

Aah!
"

April "Vernon!"

Rat King "Don't tell me you're thinking about leaving, too."

[He throws a bola and trips Irma.]

Irma "Aah!"

April "Oh!"

Rat King "Miss O'Neil, come back here. I am the king, and I command you. Come back."

[He throws a soda bomb, but April dodges past it.]

April "Oh!"

[The Rat King gathers up Irma and Vernon.]

Rat King "Now-- we'll all get to go back to my lair and have a nice little chat."

Vernon "No. Yes. Like a visit with mom."

April "I don't believe this. I nearly get blown to pieces by the Rat King, and now I'm completely lost. What else can go wrong? Huh! Leatherhead!"

[He clamps the metal collar around her neck.]

Leatherhead "I'm happy for you to see me again."

April "What is this place, swamp annex east?"

Leatherhead "Whatever it is, it sure be the last place you ever gonna see."

[At the city dump, the challenge proceeds.]

Raphael "Those cardboard cutouts will get their attention, while we attack them from the side."

Pizza Delivery Guy "Excuse me. Which one of you ordered the pizza with chocolate sprinkles and clam sauce?"

Michelangelo "Yo, dude. Right here."

Leonardo "I think we've got you, Raphael."

Raphael "My beautiful strategy done in by a pizza."

Splinter "The winners of the next contest will be champions for the day."

Raphael "It's time for you to get motivated, Michelangelo."

Donatello "There, with this incredibly clever garbage bomb launcher, we can't lose."

Raphael "I'll face them single-handed. Wish me luck. Charge!"

Donatello "Fire one."

Raphael "Uh. Come on. You guys don't fight fair."

Donatello "Fire two."

Raphael "Don't you care that we're getting trashed?"

Michelangelo "Hey, it's only garbage, bud. It'll wash off."

Donatello "Fire three!"

Michelangelo "Besides, why fight when you can eat?
[The garbage lands in his pizza.]

That does it. This senseless destruction of innocent food has got to stop! Party-poopers! Pepperoni pirates!
[He runs over Leonardo, knocking him down.]

Pizza wreckers!
[He charges the garbage bomb launcher and destroys it. He reaches the tallest mound and plants his flag.]

Victory! Mount Trashmore is ours.
"

Leonardo "I've got to admit it, Michelangelo, you were terrific."

Donatello "All he needs is the proper motivation."

Raphael "Hmm, we can use these for target practice."

[He grabs the cardboard cutouts. Donatello’s turtlecom rings.]

Donatello "Yes, April, what's up?"

April "I've got a little problem, guys. Actually, it's a big problem. Leatherhead."

Donatello "Leatherhead?"

April "We're in the sewers near—"

Leatherhead "What you be doing? You carry pictures of them no-good turtles?"

Donatello "Leatherhead, let April go."

Leatherhead "Well, well, turtles, I be looking for you."

Donatello "Where are you?"

Leatherhead "If'n you don't find me pretty quick, you don't find her-- ever."

[Leatherhead throws the turtlecom down and stomps on it.]

Donatello "Leatherhead's looking for us."

Leonardo "He's got April. And we've got to rescue her. Come on."

April "Listen, you overgrown handbag, you'll never get the turtles."

Leatherhead "Got no time for talking. I going to finish this here bazooka and blow y'all to catfish bait."

April "Heh. Don't hurry on my account."

Leatherhead "Then I'll get me that Rat King fellow. He's going to turn us into zombies."

April "Zombies? How?"

Leatherhead "He done stole a big truck, yeah. Going to make some zombie gas out of the stuff in there."

April "So that's what he meant by test subjects. Huh! Irma. Vernon."

[Cut to the Rat King’s lair. Vernon and Irma are tied up near the tanker.]

Rat King "You two have the honor of being my first test subjects."

Vernon "What are you going to do to us?"

Rat King "Allow the fumes from this compound to turn you into mindless zombies. In exactly ten minutes, you will be the first human beings to become slaves of the rats. Ha ha ha!"

[The pair start screaming as he sets a glass beaker full of his formula on a stool in front of them.]

Rat King "Only nine more minutes, until you two become slaves of the rats."

Vernon "Oh! Oh! Please! I don't want to be a zombie. I need my sleep."

Rat King "Too late. The gas is already at work. Farewell."

Vernon "Irma, we've got to do something."

Rat King "Ahh, my peaceful domain. Something seems to be missing, though. Leatherhead! He's gone! He's escaped! Come, my faithful followers! We must find him."

[The rats are squeaking as they follow the Rat King out of his lair and into the tunnels. Meanwhile, Leatherhead is leading April by her chain. He is carrying his newly built bazooka.]

Leatherhead "You gonna lead me to them turtles, or I'll whip you into cajun bean dip."

April "I'm telling you, they aren't even in the sewers."

Leatherhead "Just how stupid you think old Leatherhead be?"

April "Do you have an hour and a half?"

Leatherhead "I'll use this here turtle stomper on you, too! Now, tell me where they at!"

April "Never!"

Leatherhead "Okay, then. I guess I track them by my lonesome."

[There is a sudden loud squeaking and then dozens of rats attack Leatherhead.]

Leatherhead "Uhh! What in the bayou is a-going on? Uhh! Uhh! Get going, you little cheese-chewing chumps! That rat king be nearby, gumbo. See if he be out there."

April "Hold on, that could be dangerous."

Leatherhead "It be dangerouser not to go, I guarantee. Now get!"

April "All I can say is, oh, rats!"

[She spots the Rat King and a hoard of rats. The Rat King throws a soda can bomb and April dodges back into the tunnel to avoid it. Leatherhead jumps out and aims his bazooka at the Rat King.]

Rat King "All right, Leatherhead. Come out and fight like a rat."

Leatherhead "I gonna fricassee your tail for that."

Leonardo "That was a Rat King soda can bomb. Let's go!"

Rat King "You dare challenge the authority of his majesty, the Rat King?"

[He throws another bomb, but misses. Leatherhead fires his bazooka, but the shot also misses. The soda can bomb lands on the ground right in front of April.]

April "Huh! Aah!"

Leonardo "Heads down, April."

April "Turtles, your timing is incredible."

Donatello "Uhh! An infield double, at least."

[He hits the smoke bomb with his and sends it directly into Leatherhead. It blasts him backwards and he growls.]

Leatherhead "I knew she be lying about them turtles being gone."

Raphael "Boy, you turn your back for one afternoon, and everybody gets rowdy."

April "The Rat King's got Vernon and Irma. He's testing out some zombie gas on them."

Michelangelo "All right, dudes. Like, turtles to the rescue!"

Donatello "What about Leatherhead and the Rat King?"

Leonardo "We'll let those two pests exterminate each other."

Leatherhead "Oh! You'll be the rat fink now."

[He hits the Rat King with a blast.]

Rat King "Uhh! Hurry, my furry little followers. Hurry!"

Leatherhead "This time Leatherhead don't be missing."

[Above him, the rats chew through a wooden beam and it collapses on Leatherhead.]

Leatherhead "Jumping jambalaya!"

[The Rat King jumps him and they begin fighting.]

Both "Uhh! Uhh!"

Rat King "I'll teach you to defy me."

Leatherhead "Uhh! No need to. Leatherhead, he already know how."

[April and the turtles reach the Rat King’s lair.]

Raphael "Well, where's Irma and Vernon?"

April "They must be behind that door."

Leonardo "Here goes."

April "Vernon!"

Vernon "Ha-ho-wah."

Donatello "He's a zombie!"

Irma "Nah. He just saw one rat too many. Watch this."

[Irma gets a bucketful of water and tosses it in Vernon’s face.]

Vernon "
[Sputters]

Was that really necessary?
"

Irma "Hey, Vernon. One good drip deserves another."

April "Thank goodness that gas didn't affect you."

Irma "What do you expect from a recipe off a bubblegum wrapper?"

[Donatello jumps up on the tanker to examine the Rat King’s mixture.]

Donatello "What the heck? This stuff may not be zombie gas, but it's becoming real unstable! In fact, I'd say it was becoming explosive!"

Raphael "Say, how'd y'all like to teach the Rat King a lesson for trying to rule the world?"

Michelangelo "Bodacious notion, dude. How about we include Leatherhead for trying to make us El Extincto?"

Raphael "Why not? Okay, huddle up. Here's what we're gonna do.
[Whispers]

Now, Michelangelo, you and Donatello and Leonardo's gonna—
[breaks the fourth wall]

uh, this may take a while. Anyway, what I was saying—
"

[Meanwhile, Leatherhead and the Rat King are still fighting.]

Leatherhead "Now you be southern fried ratatouille, Mr. King!"

Rat King "Now you will be my willing subject, Mr. Gator."

[They throw explosives at each other and both are knocked to the ground.]

Raphael "Oh, boys! If you're looking for us, we'll be back at the Rat King's place sabotaging his plans for world conquest."

[The group runs off after getting the Rat King and Leatherhead’s attention.]

Rat King "What? You can't do that. I'm scheduled to rule the world by this evening."

Leatherhead "And I'm going to get my revenge on you little possum pusses, I guarantee."

Rat King "I'll stop those turtles."

Leatherhead "No! I stop them."

[They race past where Michelangelo is hiding with his human friends.]

Vernon "What incredible footage."

[The enemy duo reach the Rat King’s lair.]

Leatherhead "Where they be?"

Rat King "In here, I'll wager.
[He raises the metal door to the room containing the tanker truck.]

There they are.
"

[Standing behind the tanker truck are the four cutouts of the turtles.]

Leatherhead "Now I got you."

[He aims his bazooka at the cutouts.]

Rat King "No, you fool! Don't!"

[Leatherhead fires. There is a massive explosion, which shakes the sewers.]

Raphael "I guess they found our cutouts."

Michelangelo "Yeah! And we cut out just in time."

[Leatherhead is blasted out of the sewers and goes flying. The Rat King is trapped in his collapsed lair.]

Leatherhead "Jambalaya!"

Rat King "Those wretched turtles and that stupid gator! I'll show them all not to trifle with royalty-- when I get out of here. This may take a little time."

[Leatherhead flies quite a distance and lands in the river.]

Leatherhead "Whew. I don't never want to see another turtle so long as I live. This gator staying put in his swamp, ho ho, I guarantee."

[He swims off. In the sewer tunnels, the gang discusses the situation.]

Leonardo "Well, I don't think we'll be hearing from those two again very soon."

Vernon "This is the story of the century, and I got it. All by myself."

April "With my video camera."

Vernon "Who cares? I'm Channel 6's new star reporter now."

Irma "Oh, of all the low-down, back-stabbing, double-dealing—"

Michelangelo "Chill out, dudettes. The whole world's got his numero."

Donatello "Right. He'll be lucky if he can keep his own job."

Raphael "Yeah, once it gets out that he totally blew the story of the century."

Vernon "Just what are you blabbering about?"

Raphael "Looks like you forgot to take the lens cap off, Mr. Star Reporter."

Vernon "I don't believe it. All that incredible footage gone!"

April "Uh-huh. Just like your chances of stealing my job."

[Vernon groans and falls to his knees while everyone else laughs.]

[End Credits]

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