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 YOU'RE NOT ON 
 NICKTOONS 
 ANYMORE! 

Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1

bzzzzt bzzzt

[The office of Hayashi Toru.]

Hayashi Toru "<Speak.>"

Spy "<They've made their way into some caves, sir. Do you want us to follow?>"

Toru ><No.><

Toru "<There are surely traps. Let Karai and her freaks deal with them... But you're free to kill them if or when they emerge.>"

Toru "<And keep me informed.>"

Natsu "<Grandfather—?!>"

Page 2

Natsu "<Did I hear that right? You're going to have Karai ambushed? Why?>"

Toru "<Natsu. Haven't I told you that eavesdropping is impolite? I'd think you'd be pleased... Since I don't believe for one second I convinced her to spare your life.>"

Natsu "<We would've worked that out, one way or another. I'm not afraid of her.>"

Toru "<Any reasonable person would be.>"

Toru "<But Oroku Karai gave me an ultimatum. In my own home, in front of subordinates! In front of family!>"

Toru "<I will not allow that to stand.>"

Natsu "<Grandfather, after all your talk of avoiding waste, this makes no sense. She's doing what you aked. I—this isn't honorable.>"

Toru "<Honor? Honor! Natsu, you sound like your father.>"

Toru "<His foolish sense of "honor" resulted in his death... And my daughter's.>"

Toru "<It's a concept I can no longer place any faith in.>"

Natsu "<...But you told me honor was important.>"

Page 3

Toru "<...I also told you fairy tales. I'd assumed you'd grown out of such things.>"

Toru "<Natsu, Karai is dangerous, but she's also a dreamer. Who else would cling so tightly to ancient ways?>"

Toru "<The idea of questing for a hidden treasure distracted her, and that distraction saved your life. Killing her will ensure that safety.>"

Natsu "<But what about the sword?>"

Toru "<If it exists, if she finds it, my men will bring it to me. If not... It doesn't matter.>"

Natsu "<So, you just lied about everything and plan to stab her in the back?>"

Toru "<Mind your tone. I know what's best.>"

Natsu "<I'm not sure about that anymore.>"

Toru "<Natsu, I won't tolerate this attitude from you.>"

Toru "<I'm warning you, if you walk out that door before I allow it, you will not be welcome back.>"

Natsu "..."

Page 4

Bludgeon "We're surrounded—!"

"I can sense... Things all around us! I don't know what they are..."

Bludgeon "...But I can smell the hostility! We need to—"

Oroku Karai "No! Wait! This is a test, Bludgeon."

Karai "The Ashi no Himitsu spoke of the obstacles guarding Takeshi Tatsuo's vault, and this was the first."

Karai "These guardians will threaten and provoke, but cannot strike the first blow."

Karai "If we don't hold out temper, they'll overrun us."

Page 5

Guardians "Yes, little girl, hold your temper, if you can."

Guardians "But the dead are patient. And the dead are wise."

Guardians "Wise enough to know you'll fail."

Guardians "You've only ever succeeded to set up a larger failure, and you failed your grandfather..."

Guardians "...But your biggest failure was the Foot Clan. You brought it back, and it was taken away. A piece of you is gone with it, and you feel alone, empty."

Guardians "But if you join us you'll never be alone again."

Guardians "And you, your eyes are gone, what kind of use will you ever be?"

Guardians "Unless you are slaughtered for soup."

Guardians "You would make a lot of soup."

Bludgeon "Every predator knows they might also be prey."

Guardians "You'll never see the end coming! You'll never have a fighting chance! You're blind!"

Bludgeon "Which makes it that much easier to ignore you."

Page 6

Guardians "Maybe the blind one can ignore us, but your eyes are too good, you can see everything."

Guardians "You saw your perfect wings ripped from you."

Guardians "You could only watch while the thing that made you better than everyone else was taken away..."

Guardians "By"

Guardians "A"

Guardians "Turtle."

Koya "Leave me alone...!"

Page 7

[Meanwhile, back in Tokyo...]

WWHHHHSSS THUK

Natsu "Woo!"

Natsu "<What a rush!>"

Toshiro "<I don't know who you are—>"

Page 8

Toshiro "<—But you've come to the wrong place.>"

SVISH

Natsu "Ai!"

Natsu "<Wait! Ive come about Karai! My name is Natsu, and—>"

Toshiro "<She's gone.>"

Natsu "<I know! She's up north, looking for a sword, and she's walking into a trap!>"

Natsu "<Look, there's no love lost between me and her—but she caught a stray bullet, and it was my fault.>"

Natsu "<I figure I at least owe her a warning for the trouble.>"

Toshiro "<How did you find this place?>"

Natsu "<I looked it up online, come on.>"

Toshiro "<Hh. What kind of trap?>"

Natsu "<If I know my grandfather, it's probably abunch of guys with a lot of big guns waiting to mow her down.>"

Natsu "<She'd never see it coming.>"

Page 9

Toshiro "..."

Toshiro "<I believe you.>"

Natsu "<Yeah, well, great. Tell her good luck, and then tell me where the elevator is.>"

Toshiro "<You can tell her yourself. You're coming with me.>"

Natsu "<I'm sorry?>"

Toshiro "<I want to be impressed by your honorable intentions, but first I need tobe sure I can trust them.>"

Toshiro "<Come—I'll make the necessary travel arrangements. We can be where we need to be in a few hours.>"

Toshiro "<And while we travel, perhaps you can tell me why your grandfather put the idea of this sword in Karai's head to begin with, yes?>"

Page 10

Guardians "You know you'll never leave this cave alive!"

Guardians "You'll be trapped underground, forever! You'll never see the sky again, let alone soar through it!"

Guardians "Makes you want to lash out, doesn't it?"

Bludgeon "Take a deep breath, Koya."

Bludgeon "Remember what Karai said—if we don't attack them, they can't attack us. You're doing fine."

Karai "Bludgeon. Our path is blocked. Can you move this?"

Bludgeon "I can try."

Page 11

Bludgeon "Just... Need to push..."

SHRRRRRKK

Bludgeon "Hnnnnghh..."

Karai "You're doing it!"

Guardians "Look at that, even blind, he's still useful."

Guardians "Don't you wish you were?"

Koya "Shut up!"

SHLUK

Koya "...Oh no."

Guardians "Yes, at last."

Karai "Koya—Bludgeon has opened the way. Get in the cave! Now!"

Page 12

Guardians "She struck first. She is ours."

Karai "She may have, but I didn't. And you'll have to go through me to get to Koya."

Guardians "We accept your offer."

Bludgeon "No!"

SVISH

SSHHRKKH

Bludgeon "Hnnnh—"

Page 13

Bludgeon "..."

Koya "Bludgeon! That was incredible—you saved us!"

Bludgeon "...You're welcome."

Bludgeon "I think I'll just sit for a moment..."

Koya "Wait. Those things can't move that rock, can they?"

Karai " "Those things" no longer matter. This is a new chamber. There will be a new obstacle."

Karai "—Look."

"It exists."

Karai "We've found it!"

Bludgeon "Wait! There's someone else here, too... Moving fast..."

Karai "Where?"

Page 14

KRKHOOM

Ocho "<You are not my master. Who are you?>"

Karai "<I am Oroku Karai, blood of Oroku Saki, the greatest leader of the Foot Clan...>"

Karai "<...And I have come to take possession of the sword.>"

Karai "<Who are you, guardian?>"

Page 15

Ocho "<I am Ocho. I was trapped in this form by the witch Kitsune during the era that bears my name, and I am bound in service to the Foot Clan... At least, until the sword is returned to the gods.>"

Ocho "<Have you come to do so?>"

Karai "<I'm here to claim the sword, yes.>"

Karai "<But not to return it.>"

Ocho "<You are not my master, Oroku Karai. So you may only take the sword—>"

Page 16

Ocho "<—If you can get past me!>"

SWASH

Koya "Karai! We'll—"

SHHAA

Karai "Koya—no! I have to do this alone!"

Bludgeon "Why do they always have to say things like that?"

Koya "I think she just likes to show off."

KHWAM

Karai "Unh!"

Bludgeon "I'll never understand people."

Karai "Hh."

Page 17

Karai "Kiyai!"

TING

KTNK

Page 18

CHK

SWIP

SHINK

SHHP

BHFF

SSSHHHAAA

BOOM

Page 19

TAP

KRAK

Karai "Bludgeon!"

Karai "—I need your help after all!"

Koya "What are we doing? I'll peck out her eyes!"

Karai "Bo. Bludgeon..."

Karai "...Throw me."

WHISSH

Page 20

Ocho "No!"

Karai "Yes."

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