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This is a transcript for Invasion of the Turtle Snatchers, the fifth episode of the third season of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series), and the 19th episode overall.

The episode opens at the Turtle Lair. A party horn is heard blowing.
Leonardo Happy first anniversary, April!
Inside the Turtle Lair, the turtles, plus Splinter and Irma, are having a party for April.
Michelangelo Hope you have another tubuloso year at Channel 6.
April Oh, thanks guys... but I'm just not in the mood for a party.
Raphael What's wrong, April?
April I'm worried about my job! Burne Thompson said I'd better come up with a big story or...
Raphael Or what?
April Or I won't be around to celebrate my second year.
Donatello (while putting on a disguise) Hey, I know what'll cheer you up! Irma, I need you.
Irma looks giddy.
Donatello Easy, Irma. It's only to help me pick up a pizza.
Irma gasps and looks disappointed.
The scene changes to the Technodrome.
Shredder Enough, Krang! It's going to explode!
Inside the Technodrome, Krang is working with a device.
Krang Silence! I'm the scientific genius here.
However, as Shredder warned, a pipe on the device overloads and explodes, leaving Shredder and Krang coughing in a cloud of smoke.
Shredder Now are you satisfied? I told you the plasma heat dissipator wouldn't stand that much overload.
Krang But no matter. If these readings are correct, we will have no more need of your shoddy work.
Shredder What are you raving about?!
Krang I have detected a new form of energy generated by the nuclear fission reactor at the university. And it seems powerful enough to raise the Technodrome. And I want you to locate it!
The scene changes to the Acme Glueworks.
Bebop This glue factory makes a really neat hideout, boss.
Shredder Fail me, and I'll be making glue out of both of you. (hands Rocksteady a device) This will locate the energy source. Now go!
Rocksteady Right away, boss! Um, where're we goin' to?
Shredder To the fission plant. The fission plant!
The scene changes to a dock in New York City. A fish packing plant is visible in the background. Bebop and Rocksteady are fishing.
Rocksteady You know, this fishin's the easiest job we've ever had.
Bebop Yeah.
Rocksteady's Comlink beeps. Rocksteady picks it up.
Rocksteady Yeah, boss?
Shredder Well? Did you find it?
Rocksteady No, boss. We've been fishin' here for three hours and we ain't had a nibble.
Shredder Fishing?! I sent you out for fission, not fishing!
Bebop and Rocksteady Huh?
Shredder Wait 'til I get my hands on you. You... you...!
A beam of light suddenly shines down on Rocksteady, lifting him away.
Rocksteady Huh? What the...?! Hey!
Bebop Hey! Come back with my fishin' partner! Wh-oa!
Shredder And another thing! Don't walk away while I'm talking to you!
Bebop (grabs his own comlink, hopping around in a panic) I-I'll be good, boss! Please don't zap me like you did Rocksteady.
Shredder What are you babbling about?
Bebop You mean you didn't? You mean, he just... just...
The scene changes to the Technodrome. Shredder and Krang are waiting, as the Transport Module returns with Bebop, who climbs out.
Shredder I give you two imbeciles a simple assignment, and you can't even carry it out.
Bebop But boss, somethin' awful happened.
Krang What? You lost Rocksteady?
Bebop Uh, yeah. That also.
Shredder "That also"? What else went wrong?!
Bebop We didn't catch a single fish.
The Shredder groans and holds his head.
The scene changes to the streets of New York City. Donatello and Irma have just arrived outside a pizza place.
Irma Are you sure this will cheer April up?
Donatello Are you kidding? April's a sucker for Papita's Pan-American pizzas.
A light just like the one that shone down on Rocksteady shines down on Donatello.
Irma (gasps) What's that light?!
Donatello suddenly disappears. Irma screams and runs away.
The scene changes to the Technodrome. Bebop is finishing telling Shredder and Krang what happened.
Bebop And then "zip"! He was gone!
Krang If his story is true, there's only one explanation for this strange occurrence.
Shredder What?
Krang Visitors from space! Visitors who could make our wildest dreams come true!
The scene changes to the Turtle Lair. Irma is explaining what happened to the others.
Irma One minute he was at my side, and the next minute he was gone!
Raphael Donatello vanished into thin air?
Splinter Irma's story explains much. I have sensed an alien presence unlike anything Earth has seen before.
April Wow! Visitors from another planet! This could be just the story to guarantee my job at Channel 6.
Splinter Donatello? With aliens? This sounds serious.
The scene changes to what appears to be a rocky cave. Donatello is there.
Donatello Whoa... The roller coaster companies would love to have that ride. Oh, I'd better call the turtles. (checks his pocket, but it's empty) The Turtlecom! I must have dropped it! (looks off, hearing something) Something's heading this way!
That "something" turns out to be Rocksteady.
Donatello It's... it's... Rocksteady?! (pulls out his )
Rocksteady Hey! What's goin' on here?
Donatello Beats the heck out of me.
Rocksteady Sounds like a good idea, pizza breath!
Rocksteady charges Donatello, but Donatello blocks him and flings him over his head.
Donatello Oh yeah? And you're a flapjack! You wanna play some more, or shall we try to find a way outta here?
Rocksteady Umm, what was that first question again?
Later, Donatello and Rocksteady are walking through the cave, searching for a way out.
Rocksteady So where do ya think we are?
Donatello I'm not certain. We may be in some parallel dimension.
They suddenly hear a loud roar, as a monster comes charging at them.
Rocksteady Huh?! I'm outta here!
Rocksteady runs away, but runs into a wall. Donatello runs in another direction.
Donatello This way!
Rocksteady (catches up) It sounds like he's right behind us!
The monster is suddenly ahead of them.
Donatello You need to get your hearing checked!
The monster grabs at them, but Donatello and Rocksteady avoid it, somehow running through the monster with a red glow. They round a corner, and Rocksteady nearly goes over a ledge, but Donatello grabs him and pulls him back.
Donatello Why do I keep saving you?
The monster approaches. Donatello and Rocksteady are trapped.
Donatello Rocksteady, I've got an idea. Make this thing charge us!
Rocksteady (tauntingly) Nyah, nyah, nyah! Your mother wears high-heeled shoes!
The monster charges them.
Donatello Now!
Donatello and Rocksteady get out of the way, and the monster goes over the ledge.
Rocksteady Ha ha ha! We sure fooled him!
The falling monster suddenly vanishes.
Rocksteady Hey! It disappeared!
The scene changes to the Channel 6 Building. Inside April's office, Vernon is seated at April's desk, his legs up on it. Burne Thompson is there as well.
Vernon And of course, I'd like a new chair.
April (enters) Vernon! What are you doing at my desk?
Vernon Your desk? (chuckles) Tell her, Burne.
Burne April, there'll be some changes around here, and real soon.
April "Changes"? But I've got the biggest story of the century.
Burne Not bigger than Vernon's story, and I'm sending him out to cover it.
Vernon I've found out there's some strange radiation coming from the new reactor at the university.
April But my story is much bigger, Mr. Thompson! If you'd just let me tell you about--
Burne (cuts her off) Ah ah, April. If you wanna tag along on Vernon's radiation story, you can. As his camera operator.
April Camera operator?! Me?! Ohh, my life is over.
The scene changes to the streets of New York, in front of the pizza place. The turtles are investigating Donatello's disappearance.
Michelangelo Like, what would have made these weird burn marks?
Raphael Only one thing. Some poor klutz must have dropped one of Papita's hot chili pizzas.
Leonardo (notices the dropped Turtle Comm) Hold on. What's that? (picks it up) It's Donatello's Turtle Comm!
Raphael Then Irma was right!
Michelangelo Our amigo's been grabbed by aliens from outer space!
Leonardo I just hope he's all right.
The scene changes to the cave where Donatello and Rocksteady are. Donatello has ditched his disguise by this point, and they are still looking for a way out.
Rocksteady Oh, what are we doin' now?
Donatello Trying to find a way out of here. As soon as I figure out where "here" is.
They're forced to stop short as the ground suddenly ends in front of them.
Donatello I guess we're not supposed to go that way.
They head off in another direction, but the area around them suddenly turns into a wall with them standing on a very narrow ledge. They quickly push back against the wall.
Rocksteady Yikes! We can't go that way neither.
The narrow ledge suddenly becomes a lot smaller, leaving them nearly suspended in midair.
Rocksteady Hey, what's goin' on here?!
Donatello I have a theory about this. Just let go of the wall.
Rocksteady A-A-Are you outta yer shell?!
Donatello Just do it! It's our only chance! (softly) I'd better be right about this...
Donatello and Rocksteady jump down. They fall a ways, but ground suddenly appears and they land on it.
Donatello I was right!
(The "cave" transforms into the interior of a spaceship.)
Nikto Oh-ho-ho! Way to go, earthlings!
Klatu Nikto, stop playing with the earthlings.
Nikto Ohh, but it's fun! They're so weird-looking.
Klatu I am Klatu. Who are you?
Rocksteady I'll show you who I am!
Rocksteady runs at Klatu, but Klatu holds up a cube-shaped device that sends a beam of laser chains to bind Rocksteady.
Rocksteady Hey, what the...?! (falls over after he's completely bound)
Klatu My, my, such a temper. (to Donatello) Please forgive us. We did not know that little Nikto beamed you here.
Nikto Ohhh... I just wanted somebody to play with.
Klatu Nikto would not hurt you. The monster and the disappearing floor were merely illusions.
Donatello I figured that out. But where are we? And who are you?
Klatu I am Klatu, and this is the little woman, Berada. We come from the star system Antares. (uses the control cube to activate a screen) You are in our spaceship, several miles above your planet.
Donatello Why are you here?
Klatu We vacationed on your planet some four thousand years ago. Little Nikto left one of his toys behind.
Donatello You came all the way back for a toy?
Klatu The situation is quite serious. (uses the control cube on the screen again, showing the fission plant) You earthlings constructed a nuclear reactor plant right on top of it. The radiation's causing the toy to approach meltdown. When that toy disintegrates, it will destroy all life on your planet.
Berada We're talking end of the world, here.
Donatello The end of the world?
Rocksteady Hey, lemme outta these things! I'll be good.
Klatu All right. But if you misbehave, back you go.
Klatu frees Rocksteady with the control cube.
Rocksteady Oh boy! That's some neato trick!
Donatello My turtle friends and I can help you recover Nikto's toy.
Berada Oh, we would be most grateful.
The scene changes to the docks where Bebop and Rocksteady were fishing before. The Shredder is scanning the area with the energy device.
Shredder Getting a reading, Krang. Can you analyze it?
Krang (via Comlink) Yes. It's almost identical to the reading of the fission reactor.
Shredder Then it's true. We do have visitors from outer space! We must find their spaceship.
Krang Forget the spaceship! Get to the fission plant and find that energy source.
Shredder But think of what treasures the alien ship might hold!
Krang Do as you're told! I want that energy source, now! (chuckles) Soon, the entire world will be at my feet.
Shredder Ha! What feet?
Krang You really know how to hurt a person, don't you? (ends the communication)
Shredder I'm going to prepare our particle transmitter to beam myself aboard that spaceship, and take it over!
The scene changes to the spaceship. The Antarians are giving Donatello and Rocksteady a tour.
Donatello Wow. This ship is incredible!
Klatu It's nothing fancy. But it's paid for. (shows them a device that's dripping water) And this is our energy conversion unit. It transmutes matter to energy.
Donatello But you mean you power this entire spaceship with just this thing?
Berada Not only that, it makes great coffee. (fills a cup) Have some.
Donatello No thanks. I gave it up.
Rocksteady (has slipped away to contact Shredder on his Comlink) Boss! You should see all the neat stuff they got up here!
Shredder "Neat stuff"? What is your location?
Rocksteady Uhh, I'm in a big room, somewhere...
Shredder I meant the coordinates of the alien ship, you dimwit!
Rocksteady Oh! Okay, boss. (makes his way over to the screen) Now, how'd that bug turn this thing on? (notices the control cube) Ooh, yeah!
Rocksteady picks up the control cube and waves it at the screen. Nothing happens. Rocksteady gets angry and throws the cube at the screen. It turns on.
Rocksteady (holds the comlink up to the screen) Can you see it, boss?
Donatello (enters, hearing what's going on) "Boss"? Uh oh...
Rocksteady You gonna beam up from the glue factory?
Donatello tackles Rocksteady, sending the comlink flying.
Donatello Oh, no you don't!
Donatello and Rocksteady are suddenly bound together by the control cube lasers.
Klatu We warned you about misbehavior! We Antarians detest violence!
Berada Mostly because we don't like to clean up afterwards.
Donatello We're in for big trouble. This goon just broadcast our coordinates to Shredder.
Klatu Shredder? Another mutant? A hamster, perhaps?
Nikto Gee, dad, can I keep him for a pet?
Donatello and Rocksteady are freed while Nikto is talking.
Donatello Believe me, kid, you wouldn't want this guy for a pet.
Rocksteady slowly slinks backwards.
Klatu Now what can we do?
Donatello (holding Rocksteady's comlink) Rocksteady's comlink! If I can rewire this, I might be able to contact the turtles. Maybe they can intercept Shredder.
The scene changes to the Turtle Lair. Splinter is holding a Turtle Comm.
Splinter Donatello! Where are you?
Donatello (talking through the Turtle Comm) I'm on board an alien spaceship.
Raphael An alien spaceship?
Donatello I'm all right. But you've gotta stop Shredder. He's hiding out in some glue factory.
Leonardo Which one?
Donatello I don't know. But if he gets his hands on this high tech equipment, he'll be unstoppable!
Splinter (closes the Turtle Comm) Turtles, we have much work to do.
The scene changes to the Acme Glueworks Factory. The Turtle Van pulls up outside.
Leonardo The Acme Glueworks.
Michelangelo It looks like Shredder's style.
Splinter This is it. I sense my old enemy's presence.
Inside the Glueworks, Shredder is working on a computer.
Shredder There. The particle transmitter is set to beam me to that alien ship. (The screen shows a 30 second countdown) The countdown is automatic. Soon, the aliens' power will be mine!
Michelangelo Cowabunga!
The Turtles and Splinter enter through a hole in the roof.
Shredder The Turtles! Get them!
Bebop and the Foot Soldiers start firing.
Bebop Heh. Turtle targets!
As the Turtles descend to ground level, Splinter lands where Shredder is.
Shredder Aagh! I'm growing tired of your meddling, rodent! (swings at Splinter, who ducks)
Splinter If you're tired, I suggest you lie down!
Splinter takes down Shredder with a kick. Down below, the turtles are running for the computer.
Raphael We've gotta shut down the countdown!
Bebop I'm gonna shut you down!
Bebop charges, but Raphael grabs an oil drum and holds it for Bebop to crash into. He goes flying and lands in a pile of oil drums. The countdown is down to 8. Michelangelo and Leonardo are standing shell-to-shell, as the two Foot Soldiers charge them.
Michelangelo Hey dude. What goes "quack quack"?
Leonardo A... duck?
Michelangelo Exact-a-mundo!
They duck, and the leaping Foot Soldiers collide with each other. The countdown counts down to 0.
Raphael Master Splinter...!
As the Shredder leaps up for a kick, the particle transmitter activates, and Shredder and Splinter both disappear.
Leonardo They're gone!
The scene changes to the Antaiean Spaceship. Splinter and Shredder appear in the same "cave" Donatello and Rocksteady were in before.
Shredder What happened?
Splinter It appears we are on the alien spaceship.
Shredder Excellent! (runs off) Let me see what I can find. We'll continue this later, ancient one!
Splinter (running the other direction) I had better find Donatello.
Later, Splinter finds a doorway, and can hear talking behind it.)
Berada Mmm! This is the most delicious pizza, Donatello.
Splinter (entering the door) Pizza?
Inside is the kitchen. The Antarians, and even Rocksteady, are eating pizza that Donatello is making.
Klatu Mmm! This is even better than Venutian tree slugs!
Donatello Who wants more?
Nikto lifts a slice of pizza with telekinesis, and floats it into his mouth, chomping it down.
Splinter (walking up to Donatello) Donatello?
Donatello (surprised) Master Splinter! How'd you get here?
Splinter I was beamed up via particle transmitter, just as you were. Shredder has been beamed aboard as well.
Rocksteady (sneaking out) I'd better find the boss. Boss! Yoo-hoo! Oh, boss!
Shredder reaches out, pulling Rocksteady into an alcove.
Shredder Quickly! Show me where the aliens keep their weapons.
Rocksteady (points in a direction) Down that way! (points in another) Oh, or maybe it was that way. (points again) Then again, I think it was that way...
The scene changes to the Technodrome. Bebop is telling Krang about what happened.
Bebop ...And then they both disappeared!
Krang That treacherous piece of slime! Shredder wants the alien technology for himself! (A screen turns on, showing the fission plant.) Pay attention now, Bebop. This is the fission plant. You are to go there, find the alien source of power, and bring it to me! And remember... this is your last chance!
Bebop Gee, thanks.
The scene changes to the Channel 6 Newsroom. Vernon is giving the newscast, with a picture of the fission plant behind him.
Vernon Scientists are now identifying the radiation as unlike anything before seen. But they assure us that no danger exists.
April (watching this from across the room) And now Vernon's doing my newscast!
Irma Sure looks like he's taking over your job.
April This is the last straw! I'm gonna tell off Burne Thompson right now! (storms off)
The scene changes to Mr. Thompson's office.
April (pleading) Please, Mr. Thompson? One more chance is all I ask!
Burne Your "invasion from Mars" fairy tale? Get real, April. This is a news show, not the movie of the week!
April "Fairy tale," huh? Just you wait and see! (leaves)
The scene changes to the Turtle Lair. The turtles and April are loading into the Turtle Van.
April You actually spoke to Donatello on board the spaceship?
Raphael We sure did.
Michelangelo Let's get it in gear, dudes. We gotta save the world!
The Turtle Van is spring-launched.
The scene changes back to the spaceship. Donatello enters with a pizza.
Donatello Okay folks! Here's the won-ton and lox pizza I promised! I-- (sees the Antarians are sound asleep) What happened to them?
Splinter It appears mozzarella has a soporific effect on Antarian physiology.
The door behind Donatello blows open. Shredder and Rocksteady enter with blasters.
Shredder I have won! The aliens' power is in my hands!
Rocksteady In mine, too! '(accidently blasts the ceiling) Oops...
Shredder I just can't take you anywhere.
Donatello (pulls out his Bō) You haven't won yet, Shredder!
Donatello and Splinter are suddenly trapped in laser chains from the control cube in Shredder's hand
Splinter What is this?!
Shredder Get used to those chains, Splinter. You'll be wearing them for a long time! But first, I have a world to conquer, and a pompous, self-important brain to make beg for mercy! Ha ha! Now, let's get to the fission plant before Krang does. (leaves with Rocksteady)
Donatello Berada! Nikto! Wake up! Oh great. They snooze and we lose!
Splinter Let us hope the turtles can stop Shredder.
Donatello Let's also hope they can stand up against the alien technology!
Splinter Somehow, they will have to.
The scene changes to the fission plant, where Bebop and the Foot Soldiers are at work.
Bebop Hey, hurry up you guys!
The Foot Soldiers blast a device, causing an explosion that leaves a hole in the floor.
Bebop Bring it up.
Michelangelo Hey dudes! Take five!
The turtles, with April following with a camera, run in.
Bebop Get 'em!
The Foot Soldiers open fire, forcing April and Michelangelo to take cover.
Raphael (standing behind a spherical device) Maybe I can pick up a strike!
Raphael pushes the device, bowling over two Foot Soldiers and knocking them into the hole.
Raphael Hey-hey! Set 'em up at the next alley!
Michelangelo (runs through some laser blasts, then jumps onto a girder that begins to rise) Going up!
Bebop Now I've gotcha! (shoots at Michelangelo)
Leonardo and Raphael run past, pursued by the other two Foot Soldiers
Michelangelo Hey, don't sweat it, dudes. I've got your pursuit covered. Yo, Bebop!
Bebop fires at Michelangelo. Michelangelo jumps to avoid it, and the laser blast releases the girder, which crashes down on the Foot Soldiers below.
April (is recording the scene with her camera) What a sensational story this will make!
An explosion knocks April down. A force field has appeared by the entrance.
Leonardo What was that?
Shredder and Rocksteady appear in the force field.
April It's Shredder!
Shredder Correction: The new, improved Shredder! Now I am invincible!
Raphael Yeah, we'll see how "invincible" you are, metal-mouth!
Raphael charges Shredder, but bounces harmlessly off the force field.
Leonardo He's got some kind of force field protecting him.
Shredder And that's not all. Watch this!
Shredder uses the control cube to bind the turtles in laser chains.
April (gasps) So far, this story doesn't look like it has a very happy ending!
Shredder I'm so glad you're here, Miss O'Neil! (pulls her over to him with the control cube) You shall have an exclusive story on my conquest of the world.
April Not in this lifetime, Shredder!
Shredder (makes his way to the hole left by Bebop, and uses the control cube to raise up Nikto's Toy) And now, to retrieve the Antarian power source.
Michelangelo Totally awesome.
Raphael Hey, didn't I see this in a movie once?
Rocksteady That's a kid's toy?
Donatello (enters with Splinter) And shame on you for stealing it.
Shredder Splinter! Donatello! How did you get free?
Splinter Fortunately, our Antarian Friends have great powers of recuperation.
Shredder (points his blaster at them, as Rocksteady does the same) You'd better hope you do too!
The blasters suddenly disappear from their hands.
Rocksteady Hey! Who snitched my blaster?!
Donatello The aliens did.
Shredder A mere parlor trick! I have far greater power.
Shredder raises the control cube, but it disappears as well.
Donatello You better be waving bye-bye. The Antarians just took away all your goodies.
April (drops to the floor when the control cube's power stops) Thanks a lump, Donatello.
The laser chains binding the turtles disappear.
Michelangelo Rad happnenings! We're free, dudes!
A laser blast from Bebop nearly misses them.
Leonardo Head for cover!
The turtles scatter.
Bebop Hey! No fair running away!
One of Bebop's blasts hits the toy, causing it to spark uncontrollably and shake the fission plant.
Raphael What's going on?!
Splinter Those phaser blasts have accelerated the meltdown process.
Shredder (into his comlink) Krang! Send the module.
Donatello This must be that "end of the world" Klatu was talking about.
Raphael Do you know how to stop it?
Donatello No, but I'm open to suggestions!
Shredder (as the module arrives) Ah, the module! Save the world by yourselves, foolish turtles!
Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady enter the module, which leaves. The toy is now sparking wildly.
Leonardo We can't stop this thing!
April I've got an idea. (hands the camera to Raphael) Keep that camera running!
April runs over to the pit the toy was in and climbs down.
Leonardo What's she doing?!
Raphael (recording with the camera) Ah, with women, you never know.
The toy powers down, and the sparking stops.
Donatello It stopped!
April (climbs out of the hole) There! So much for that.
Donatello But how'd you do that, April?
April Simple. (holds up a battery) Every kid's toy has batteries.
The scene changes to the Technodrome. Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady are working on the module.
Krang You thought you were going to have it all. Instead, you have zip!
Shredder Look who's talking! You don't even have hands to fix your equipment.
Bebop Let me help, boss!
Bebop slams the module door on Shredder's hand.
Shredder Oww! (tucks his hand under his arm, hopping in pain)
Krang Keep that up, and you won't have hands either! (laughs)
The scene changes to the Turtle Lair. The turtles, minus Donatello, are watching Channel 6 news with April and Splinter. April is giving the newscast.
April (on TV) And with the visiting aliens now heading home, our planet is once again safe. This is April O'Neil of Channel 6 news, signing off.
Leonardo (as he an Raphael applaud) Great show, April!
April Thanks, guys. And best of all, I got my office back from Vernon, and a three year contract!
Splinter The road to success is often paved with adversity.
Donatello (enters the room) Hey, I just got off the interstellar transmitter with Klatu. He said they'll return in the year 4989.
Michelangelo (running out) Whoa! I'd better start cooking some pizzas.
Leonardo Michelangelo, they won't be back for another three thousand years.
Michelangelo Why wait until the last minute?
Everybody laughs as the episode ends.
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