Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.

Page 1


Splinter "Hold tightly to the creature, my ninja."

Splinter "Do not allow it to escape."

Zom "Too late for that..."

Zom "...Because "it" is free."

Zom "Herd..."

Zom >Attack!<

Page 2

Sherp "Ha-raahh!"

Splinter "Jennika... Now."

Jennika "Yes, Master."


Page 3

Sherp "Commander Zom, are you injured?"

Zom "I'm fine, Corporal Sherp. But Sergeant Gord is dead.*"

[*See TMNT #76 - B.C.]

Sherp "Then we'll make these humans pay for that."

Zom "Yes, we will..."


"...As soon as they come out of hiding."

Sherp "Gyah!"

Zom "Damned coward-filled planet..."

Zom "Fire at will!"

Zom "No mercy!"

Page 4 & 5


Zom "Gah!"




Triceraton Soldier "Unh!"

Zom "Triceratons, gather up the fallen and follow me!"

Sherp "Where are we going, Commander?"

Zom "There! Underground!"


Sherp "We're retreating?"

Zom "No. Regrouping. The natives caught us by surprise—we need to tend to our wounded and call for reinforcements."

Sherp "And then?"

Zom "Conquest."

John Bishop "What the... {Koff} Hell is—"

Bishop "—Mmmff?!"

"Guys, this is a straight-up warzone—"

Page 6


Raphael "—I mean, it looked bad on TV, but seein' it like this in person? Damn."

Donatello "And it only gets better—"

"—The EPF's got Slash in the middle of this, too."

Michelangelo "Poor big guy. He'd never be a part of this if he could help it."

Raph "Yeah... But he can't, Mike&mdash'cause that cyborg freak Bishop's still pullin' his strings."

Leonardo "But where is Bishop... Or the Triceratons, for that matter?"

Leo "It's like they threw a big battle and then all the main combatants vanished into thin air."

Page 7

Raph " "Main combatants?" Now you're soundin' like the nerd thesaurus here, Leo."

Donnie "Whatever."

Raph "What we're really talkin' 'bout here's a government whacko hopped up on crazy 'roids 'dukin' it out with a buncha space dinosaurs who decided to pop in without an invitation."

Mikey "And I don't care what the news said—no way the Triceratons are terrorists. You dudes saw them fighting for the good guys in Dimension X.*"

[*See TMNT: Trial of Krang - B.C.]

Raph "Ah, forget those TV people, Mike. With the kinda juice Bishop's got, guarantee you he's yankin' their strings, too."

Raph "Same goes for the cops."

Leo "Raph's right..."

Leo "...Whatever story we're being told, it's not the real one."

Leo "Don, text April and let her know we're on our way."

"Time to get the truth."

Page 8

"And that's everything I know so far, guys..."

April O'Neil "Those dinosaurs showed up seemingly out of nowhere, and yet somehow the EPF was waiting for them."

April "The rest is the same thing you guys saw on TV. They had a big fight and then the—Triceratons, right?—disappeared out of sight as fast as they arrived."

Baxter Stockman "A temporary state of affairs, I assure you, Miss O'Neil. My flyborgs will locate them soon enough."

Baxter "Just a few more adjustments..."

Leo "This... This just doesn't make any sense."

Leo "We've seen the Triceratons in action, April. They're ferocious warriors, yeah, but they're honorable ones, too."

Raph "Yeah—but Bishop sure as hell ain't. How much you wanna bet that chump took the first shot?"

Mikey "Maybe the Triceratons came here looking for us? Like they need our help or something?"

Baxter "Hey, orange peel!"

Baxter "You break it, you buy it! Understood?"

Mikey "Um... Yeah, dude. Sorry."

Mikey "Man, scientists are so mean."

Page 9

Donnie "Actually, Mikey might be on to something. I mean, we're really the only direct connection the Triceratons have to Earth besides the Utroms."

Donnie "Maybe they are looking for us."

Leo "Which means we need to get busy looking for them."

Leo "Hopefully we can find them and get things figured out before they get any worse."

Baxter "I can help with that."

Baxter "...Just one little flip of the switch and..."

Baxter «...Voila!»

Page 10

Baxter "And now to get back to more important business."

Raph "Which is?"

April "Doctor Stockman's spearheading efforts to get survival essentials to citizens who are stuck in their homes during the mandatory lockdown."

April "For profit, of course."

Leo "Never let a good crisis go to waste, hey, Baxter?"

Raph "There's way more important things in life than making money, dude."

Baxter "It's called supply and demand, my naive friend, and it's what makes this great country of ours run."

Baxter "Capitalism 101."

Baxter "You know, I keep thinking you mutants will grow up to reality someday..."

Baxter "...It's rare that I'm so consistently wrong."

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Zom "Lieutenant Trokk, do you read?"

Trokk >Loud and clear, Commander Zom.<

Zom "Prepare an assault force, Lieutenant—all non-essential flight personnel. Have them ready for teleportation when I send you the coordinates."

Trokk >Any ETA, ma'am?<

Zom "Affirmative. Very soon."

Zom "Our race will have a home..."


Zom "...Or we will die trying."

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Bishop "Okay, I've had just about enough of this ridiculous subterfuge. Where am I?"

Bishop "And what is that smell?"

Splinter "You are in one of our front businesses. Due to your semi-mechanical construction, we cannot be certain if you have a tracer installed, so we have kept you far from our more sensitive locations."

Splinter "And that smell would be french fries..."

Splinter "...Would you care for some?"

Bishop "I'll pass."

Page 13

Splinter "As you wish. I must inform you, however—though not my normal culinary fare, they are quite delicious."

Splinter "And stopping at one is nearly impossible."

Bishop "Yes, well... I'll have to take your word for it."

Bishop "Do you know who I am?"

Splinter "Yes..."

Splinter "...The pertinent details that matter to me, at least."

Splinter "I know you are called John Bishop, and that you serve this country's government as part of an agency whose sole purpose is the eradication of all non-humans."

Bishop "It's Agent Bishop... And that's a gross oversimplification of my job."

Bishop "The truth is, I'm responsible for protecting the entire planet—not just this country—from monsters that would do mankind harm if left unchecked."

Splinter "So you say."

Page 14

Splinter "I assume then, if that truly is your occupation, that you are aware of who I am, yes?"

Bishop "Who and what."

Bishop "You're a mutant rat called Splinter that fashions itself a master of some throwback clandestine ninja cabal."

Bishop "The EPF has intel on your operations and you're most definitely on our mission radar... We've just had bigger fish to fry as of late, so to speak."

Splinter "Hm."

Splinter "Just so."

Bishop "Tell me, girl—how can you lower yourself to such depths that you take orders from filthy vermin?"

Jennika "Bastard..."

Jennika "...You do not speak of my master with such disrespect!"

Splinter "Jennika! No!"

Splinter "Lower your weapon and stand down, chunin."

Splinter "There will be another time for such things."

Jennika "Hai, Master."

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Bishop "Interesting. Why not just let her kill me?"

Bishop "Given the same opportunity, I wouldn't spare you."

Splinter "Perhaps not. At the moment, however, your death serves me no practical purpose."

Bishop "And keeping me alive does?"

Splinter "Indeed."


Splinter "The "bigger fish" that you described—do they now include the creatures you battled earlier?"

Bishop "The alien dinosaurs that nearly took out a platoon of my soldiers? I hope that's a rhetorical question."

Splinter "It was—but this is not."

Splinter "Are you amicable to forming a temporary alliance with my Foot Clan in order to eliminate the alien threat from this city, Agent Bishop?"

Bishop "I... Come again?"


Splinter "Understand, I do not make this request easily. In full disclosure, I maintain plans for this city that are in some ways what you might call professional, while in other ways, very personal."

Splinter "Plans that I have no doubt will eventually pit our two organizations against each other."

Splinter "However, these alien creatures pose an unexpected and destabilizing threat to the status quo I have recently established in this city, which is necessary to see my plans through to fruition."

Splinter "And ultimately, I believe they may pose a threat to the world if they are, as you say, left unchecked."

Splinter "That is where you come into the picture, Agent Bishop. Your war machine can fight with the type of official impunity my Foot Clan cannot."

Splinter "Seek out your masters in Washington. Request approval to strike these creatures with all resources available to you. You can remove the larger force, which will allow us to operate in the shadows."

Bishop "And if I agree to this ridiculous partnership, what exactly do you propose to accomplish "in the shadows?" "

Splinter "Something I have some experience in—"

Page 16

"—I will remove the head."

Trokk >Commander Zom, this is Lieutenant Trokk.<

Trokk >I have the coordinates you sent and await your orders to initiate, ma'am.<

Zom "Give us ten minutes to return to the surface, Lieutenant..."

Zom >...Then send everything.<

Trokk "Ten minutes—copy that, Commander..."

Trokk "...For the herd!"

Zom "Yes, Trokk..."

Zom "...For the herd."

Leo "Commander Zom!"

Leo "What are you doing here?"

Page 17

Zom "Ah, at last—familiar faces."

Zom "Lower your weapons. These are our reptilian friends from Dimension X."

Zom "It is good to see you and your brothers again, Leonardo. And your timing couldn't be better."

Leo "It's good to see you, too, but... Why are you here? Timing for what?"

Zog "Don't you know? King Zenter awarded my people Earth following our efforts against the Malignoid Swarm on the Neutrinos' behalf."

Leo "Awarded?"

Donnie "What's that mean?"

Raph "And what's the stinkin' hurry right now?"

Zom "It means that we have finally been allowed to return to our home world—the place from where our ancestors were stolen."

Donnie "But... But that was a long time ago, Commander. A lost has changed since then."

Donnie "And your people showing up unexpectedly like this is gonna cause you a ton of trouble."

Raph "Yeah—you gotta hold your horses for a sec, Commander, and re-think this, especially with that chump Bishop hot for your hides."

Zom "Ah, yes—Agent Bishop. We came offering peace and instead he drew first blood. And then the rodent-man and his hooded warriors attacked us without provocation."

Zom "This is our rightful home, but so far we've been made to feel very unwelcome."

Mikey "Wait. "Rodent-man?" "

Raph "Oh, man, do ya think...?"

Zom "But id doesn't matter whether we are welcome or not."

Zom "Far too many Triceratons have made the ultimate sacrifice over the millennia in the hopes that one day we might have our very own world for us to be driven away now."

Zom "No..."

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Page 20

Zom "...We are here to stay."

Donnie "Um, guys... We're gonna need a bigger boat."