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[It all started at night with the shellraiser driving through the street, searching for the mutagen.]
Donnie: Take a right No, left! Left!
Leo: Um, Donnie, maybe you can tell me before we pass the street.
Donnie: I'm sorry, Leo. There's still so many mutagen canisters out there, my tracker is having trouble zeroing in on a single reading. Oh, turn right!
[They turn right ]
Raph: Whoa, I think I just got shell-lash!
[Mikey screams. The turtles look and see Mikey reading his comic book.]
Leo: Hey, Mikey. You want to stop reading your comics and pay attention to the mission?
Mikey: Hey! That comic's in mint… [gets swagged] Near mint condition. Don't mess it up.
Raph: Great. Another horror story. Guess who's gonna be up all night again?
Mikey: What? No. I was up all night 'cause I was polishing my grappling hook!
Raph: Right. Seriously, Mikey, what are those horror comics good for other than freaking you out and-
Donnie: Got one! Stop here!
[They stop the tank and exit. Donnie lifts his goggles and sees small prints.]
Donnie: My ooze specs are picking up a mutagen trail. Come on!
[They follow it to the movie theater]
Leo: Remember, this might be another trap, so we need to be careful.
[They began to approach the movie theater.]
Raph: Some ninja.
Donnie: Guys, over here.
[Donnie pulls out a mutagen, it was broken and all that was left was small remains of ooze.]
Donnie: It's half empty, but one more mutagen canister recovered.
[Man screams.]
Mikey: It wasn't me.
[The turtles look around the corner to see a scared homeless man scared of a small squirrel.]
Raph: [confused] Why's that dude afraid of a cute, tiny little squirrel?
[Without warning, the squirrel hisses at them, causing the turtles to scream and cling onto one another. The squirrel then jumps into the man's mouth, causing him to pass out.]
Mikey: Now can I scream in horror?
[Theme song.]
Mikey: Dudes, this is a terrible idea. This is exactly how the alien got onto the ship in my comic book.
Raph: Maybe Mikey's right.
Both: [perplexed] What?
Raph: I mean, the comic book thing is totally crazy, but I can think of a million other reasons it's a bad idea to take this guy back to the lair, starting with Splinter.
Donnie: Raph, that squirrel was clearly a mutant creature, which means this is our fault.
Leo: And our responsibility to fix it. I'll deal with -
[Later]
Leo: Master Splinter, let me explain.
Splinter: Indeed. Please explain the reason you have brought a complete stranger into our secret, hidden lair.
Leo: Oh, you'll laugh your whiskers off when you hear this one.
Mikey: It's pretty good.
[In the lab]
Donnie: Careful with the specimen. I want to run some tests on him. Take it easy, boys. Easy- D'oh!
[They drop the man onto the table causing a few objects to fall off. With him on it, Donnie began to analyze him.]
Mikey: So want to guess the first thing the crew did when they brought the guy back on the spaceship in my comic?
Raph: [tosses the comic away] Enough with the comic already! You're makin' me loopy.
Mikey: Great. Now it went from "near mint" to "totally messed up."
Leo: Okay, we're cool, but let's try to get this guy out of here before Master Splinter is done meditating. Where are we at, Donnie?
Donnie: Running an internal scan right now to see if.... Yep, still in there.
[On the screen, it shows the squirrel inside and something is next to it.]
Raph: Whoa.
Mikey: Wait. Does it have two heads?
Raph: All right, guys. If you need me, I'll be beating Leo's high score in pinball.
[the man gets up.]
Man: Pink eye, red eye! The ham went flying! Woot-woot!
Leo: I think that freaky squirrel made him a little nutty.
Mikey: Dudes, I got this. I can totally translate crazy. He's saying, "the squirrel licked some ooze and transformed into a mutant. It's been chasing me for days now, but I'm totally okay."
Raph: If by "okay", you mean "totally insane."
Leo: Well, at least no one will believe a crazy guy if he talks about giant ninja turtles living in a sewer.
[All of sudden, the man gagged and vomited the squirrel not just one but two! The turtles scream out in horror and disgust.]
Donnie: This… this is unprecedented! The squirrels replicate inside a host. They divided like a single-celled organism.
Mikey: That's exactly what happened in my comic! Well, not exactly. They exploded out of the dude's butt.
Man: Agh! Leprechauns! [Runs away.]
Raph: I'll show our friend to the door!
[While Raph leaves, Leo and Donnie stare at the squirrel mutants who are eating the popcorn that Raph dropped.]
Donnie: We need to catch them. They're emitting dangerous amounts of energy.
Leo: Move very slowly. We don't want to startle 'em. Steady... steady,...
[Without warning, the squirrels started hissing at him.]
Leo: Ahhhh! Get 'em!
[The start to give chase, making a mess in Donnie’s lab.]
Leo: Hey! Get back here!
Donnie: Hey! Whoa! Watch my stuff!
MIkey: I got you, little freak!
Raph: [Returns back to the lab.] Well, our friend's gone, but we still have plenty of crazy.
Mikey: There they go!
[The squirrels race out of the lab and the others try to catch them again.]
Leo: Quick! Help me seal off the lair. We can't let 'em escape!
Raph: Well, I don't exactly want 'em in here with us!
Mikey: Get back here, you little nut-lover!
[He leaps onto his skateboard but trips. Donnie tried to whack it but the squirrel started to climb on top causing Donnie to toss it away while it landed on Leo's head. Then it started to scatter away.]
Mikey: Not my room!
[Donnie and Leo look and see one squirrel entering the dojo.]
Donnie: The dojo!
Donnie: [quietly] Sensei's in a deep trance.
Leo: [quietly] Shh. Full ninja mode.
[They stealthly tried to catch it but it climbed up to a tree.]
[In Mikey's bedroom]
Raph: Jeez, Mikey. When's the last time you cleaned? And since when did you start wearing tighty-whities?
Mikey: That, my friend, is a story for another day. Let's just focus on the squirrels, comprende? Oh, sweet. Awesome idea. [takes some pizza] I just impressed myself. Here, squirrely, squirrely squirrel. Come get it!
[Raph rolled his eyes and sniffed it.]
Raph: Here you go, squirrel. Have a tiny bite. Where is that little sucker?
[Meanwhile with Leo and Donnie, Leo jumps onto Donnie's shoulders and then jumps up into the tree. He almost falls onto his sensei, but he luckily flips and catches the mutant squirrel with his left hand. Unfortunately, the squirrel utters a loud hiss.]
Splinter: What is going on in here? I was in a deep meditative trance, trying to block out your constant noise, and - Is that a chipmunk?
Leo: Uh, it's, um, a squirrel, sensei. A dangerous mutant squirrel that reproduces inside stomachs.
Splinter: I should have been in a deeper trance. You will be safe here for a short time, my distant cousin, until we can find out more about you.
Mikey: This pizza is the best. Ha! Four-day-old pepperoni, jelly bean, and maple syrup. Wait. What were we supposed to be doing again?
[They hear something and saw the squirrel is in the action figure collection]
Raph: The squirrel! There you are!
[He tries to attack as a few toys clatter everywhere.]
Mikey: Raph! That was my limited edition action-kick Unicorn Man!
Raph: There's the little creepster!
[Again, he tried to stab it. The squirrel started to run around on him before going into his mouth.]
Mikey: RAPH!!
[After that happened, Raph is taken to the lab chained.]
Raph: It's in my guts! I can feel it in there, munching on that popcorn I ate! It's freakin' me out, man!
[Donnie covers his mouth.]
Donnie: Okay, you got to stop with the this, b ecause I can't hear what's going on inside your intestines.
Mikey: Oh, I'll tell you what's going on in there. Let me see. [looks at his comic] Oh, yeah. Right now the mutant squirrel is probably secreting a mucus into your stomach lining so that when it multiplies-
Donnie: Mikey, not helping. Though probably 98% accurate.
Raph: Get 'em out, get 'em out, get em out!
Donnie: Just as I thought. We need to perform surgery, stat! Nurse?
[Mikey takes out a saw.]
Raph: Let me out of here!
[But it turns out it was a trick.]
Donnie: Fooled you!
Raph: Why you, you, you- [He started to gag.]
Donnie: Raph, are you-
Mikey: Bros, brace for grossness.
[And he was right. Raph vomited out the squirrels. The lights started to flicker.]
Leo: Donnie! Donnie! Some sciencey stuff would be a big help right now.
[The squirrels screeched and started to glow.]
Mikey: Glowing. Glowing's bad. Glowing is real bad!
Splinter: I see it's happening here as well.
Donnie: These things are putting out a crazy energy signature. It's messing with my analyzer.
[The squirrels started to leave.]
Mikey: We're doomed. Doomed, I tell you!
Splinter: Split up and search each room.
Mikey: Split up? Clearly you don't read comics either, sensei, 'cause splitting up is the-
Splinter: Silence. You are trained warriors. We will find these creatures. Now.
Raph: Split up to search in the dark for multiplying mutants. Could we pick a more cliché way to get eaten?
Donnie: One of us could twist our ankle, or our T-phones could die or-
Raph: Okay, move.
[They started to look around the lair. Donnie began to use his tracker device while Raph went the other. Leo looked at the stairs while Mikey checked the rooms. He bumps into Raph.]
Raph: What are you doing? I told you I'd check the bedrooms!
Mikey: I thought you'd need back up.
[They hear a low hiss.]
Mikey: There was a sound just like that in my comic when the baby aliens transformed into giant alienoids.
Raph: Wait, you read it in a comic. How can it sound the same?
[There they saw it. The squirrel has mutated into its alien/adult form. Its body is red violet with glowing green eyes.]
Raph: Sweet mother of mutations.
Mikey: They've turned into.... into.... Squirrelanoids!
[The Squirrelanoid let out an ear splitting shriek. Mikey and Raph screams are heard as Leo and Donnie look outside.]
Donnie: Oh, no. Leo, they're here!
[The Squirrelanoid adult attacks Donnie. Leo falls over as Mikey and Raph run away from the alien.]
Mikey: Whoa! They're gonna brain-suck us!
[It started to use its tongue but mutant alien squirrels attacked and retreated. Splinter appears and starts defeating the aliens. They retreat to the water.]
Leo: The sewers lead to the surface! If those things get out-
Splinter: Go then, quickly! I will stay to defend the lair, in case the beasts double back.
Mikey: Which means we have to go after them alone? In the dark sewer? Without you?
Splinter: Who among you wants to prove you are the bravest? The strongest of will? The worthiest of ninjas?
[In the sewer, Donnie starts to control Metalhead to find the Squirrelanoids.]
Donnie: Master Splinter, I'd say there's some kind of lesson here like, I don't know, "brains over bravery" or something?
Splinter: I'd say the "something" part is most accurate.
Mikey: I'm not gonna say this happened in my comic, but this happened in my comic.
[a loud screech is heard.]
Raph: What was that?
Leo: There's one.
[The Squirrelanoid attacks and breaks through the camera. Metalhead's head was torn off.]
Donnie: Metalhead!
Mikey: Page 33. Oh, man!
Donnie: Don't worry, little pal. I'll make you all better.
Splinter: I do not want to say I was right, but I was right.
[Later, the turtles are in the sewer.]
Raph: Just throwing this out there. What are we supposed to do when we find these Squirrelanoid monsters?
Mikey: Don't worry. They'll find us.
Raph: You always know just the right thing to say.
Donnie: I'm picking up strong readings from both tunnels!
Leo: Then we split up.
Mikey: Again? Didn't you guys get-
Leo: But this time in teams, okay?
Mikey: It's still splitting up. We're toast! Game over, man! Game. Over!
Leo: This way, Donnie.
[Leo and Donnie went this way.]
Raph: Sure, you take the guy with the tracking device. Come on, Mikey. So, uh, how did they defeat the aliens in your comic book?
Mikey: Oh, so now you want to know. Well, first the aliens picked off the crew in the dark, one-by-one, sucking their faces off until there was only one remaining survivor.
Raph: Sorry I asked. Wait. Did you hear that?
[At the other side,]
Leo: Yeah. Yeah, I heard it. Over there.
[Donnie steps forward, the rader getting faster.]
Leo: I don't see anything,
[They realize the Squirrelanoid is above and snatched Donnie. Leo pulls him down.]
Leo: Heads or tails?
Donnie: Heads!
[Donnie leaps at him but it knocked him away with its tail. More Squirrelanoids appear.]
Leo: Oh, no. Donnie, move! Move!
[They start to run from the Squirrelanoid and run right into Raph and Mikey]
Raph: Aghhhh! Whoa!
[They get surrounded by the Squirrelanoids.]
Mikey: They'll crack our shells like nuts.
Raph: Then we might as well go down in a blaze o' glory!
All: Hyaaaa!
[They charge toward taking down the Squirrelanoids. Leo sliced down a pipe to get the Squirrelanoid away while Raph pinned the Squirrelanoid down by the arms. Donnie holds the Squirrelanoid with his bo while Leo avoids the Squirrelanoid. One of the Squirrelanoid breaks free and they corner the turtles.]
Raph: All right, Mikey, I'm in. How does the sole survivor beat the aliens?
Mikey: It was so awesome. He baited the alien into an airlock, and then he- Ooh!
[Mikey jumps onto the ledge and heads over.]
Raph: Did he just bail on us?
Leo: I think he's got a plan.
[They continued on fighting them until the turtles were defeated. The Squirrelanoids turned their attention and saw Mikey holding a popcorn bag.]
Mikey: Yoo-hoo, glow heads! Want some?
[Squirrelanoids screech and started to chase him]
Raph: Mikey has a plan!
[Mikey started to run and leap to the other side.]
Mikey: Uh, come and get it!
[He tosses hte popcorn bag into the water as the aliens jump in. He turned on the vault and water gushed out, sending them spiraling down. But then one of its tongues dragged him in the water. Mikey screams and gets pulled under. But then Raph grabbed Mikey's hand and was saved.]
Raph: I gotcha!
Leo: We all do!
[One more Squirrelanoid lunged right at Mikey but Raph threw the ninja stars at it, sending it falling to his death.]
Leo: Phew! The septic tanks down below should hold those creeps.
Donnie: At least until I can figure out a retro-mutagen to turn 'em back.
Raph: I'm glad you didn't get flushed, little brother.
Mikey: You and me both, bro.
[Back home.]
Raph: I hate to admit it, but it looks like all of Mikey's comic book reading paid off.
Leo: And that was pretty clever to realize that Squirrelanoids were attracted to the scent of food.
Donnie: Actually, that was pretty obvious. I can't believe I didn't think of it.
Mikey: Not everyone can be the brains of the outfit.
Splinter: And have any of you considered, what if one of those creatures manages to escape?
Raph: No worries, sensei. Those giant nut-loving freaks are gone for good.
Mikey: Um, actually a bunch of sequel comics came out. The aliens come back.
[Somewhere in the sewers]
Garson: Popcorn. Not bad. Little chewie.
[The episode ends with the Squirrelanoid wrapping its claws around Garson, looking extremely terrified.]