Hideous Brain Munching Alien Beastie is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (comic strip), published in various syndicated U.S. newspapers. This comic strip ran from January 1, 1996 to May 17, 1996.
Appearing in Hideous Brain Munching Alien Beastie[]
Major characters[]
Minor characters[]
- Bebop (debut)
- Casey Jones
- Foot Soldiers
- Hideous Brain Munching Alien Beastie (debut)
- Krang
- Leatherhead
- Luigi-Sing (debut)
- Luigi-Sing's brothers (debut)
- Master Mario Chan (debut)
- Oopsie (debut)
- Pizza Delivery dude
- Rocksteady (debut)
- Shredder
Species[]
- Aliens
- Armadillo
- Humans
- Mutant rat
- Mutant Turtles
- Utroms
Locations[]
Objects and vehicles[]
Summary[]
Finding Michaelangelo seated on the floor, Leonardo asks what he’s doing. Upon learning that he’s waiting for Donatello to make an adventure, Leo tells him he can’t sit around waiting, that great capers just happen. Mike then goes to Don’s lab to inform him that Leo says he might as well stop. Don is holding a screwdriver over an Adventure Machine and says that he’s almost finished. Mikey and Raphael take a seat in front of a projector screen and Don has his Adventure Machine play potential adventure titles for them. The first is “Attack of the Terrifying Tentacles of Doom”, but Mike and Raph say it’s too scary. The next is “The Case of the Interdimensional Time-Travelling Cow Head”, and the two Turtles say they’ve been there, done that. Next up is “The Man of Bronze” and both brothers turn to tell Don that it’s too weird. When the word “Politics” shows on the screen, Mike and Raph shout that it’s way too scary and Don says everyone’s a critic.
Just as the words “The Mean Mudpuppy” comes on the screen, Leo interrupts to tell them that April is on and she’s doing a story about pizza dough. Raph and Mike race from the room and Don calls out for them to wait for him, promising to reprogram the machine after the news. The Adventure Machine starts making funny noises and the words on the screen change to read “Help! I’m Overheating!”. Smoke starts pouring from the machine as it shakes and makes odd noises. Casey Jones enters the room and stares at the machine, thinking it’s some kind of coffee maker. The machine puts a message on the wall that reads “I’m in Big Trouble! Turn Me Off! Quick!”. However, Casey starts pounding on the machine because it won’t pour coffee into his cup. He thinks the machine is broken, though it tries telling him in a message that it needs to be unplugged. Casey looks left and right, then takes a golf club and bashes the machine. A message projected onto the screen reads “I Hope I Had Insurance”.
The Turtles return to the lab, all of them talking about April’s story. When Don enters the lab, he immediately sees that the Adventure Machine has been smashed. Leo discovers a mangled golf club just before Casey walks in to ask what they are doing. Don accuses him of smashing the machine, but Casey says he didn’t smash it, he fixed it. After a little more back and forth, Don gives up and gathers the pieces of his broken machine. Raph asks how the machine was supposed to work and Don’s answer involves a lot of scientific mumbo-jumbo. Then Mike points out the adventure title that the machine was working on before Casey broke it. On the screen it reads “The Hideous Brain-Munching Alien Beastie”. Mike says he’s happy that Casey broke the machine before it started that adventure, and Leo agrees with him.
Meanwhile, in outer space, the Hideous Brain Munching Alien Beastie instructs his computer to make a right at Mars because he has the sudden urge to munch mutant Earthling brains. In the lair, Don tosses his Adventure Machine in the garbage. Another gadget bites the dust and back to the drawing board, he says. Looking on the bright side, he adds that you learn more from your failures than you do from your successes. Raph tells him that’s why he’s a genius, which leaves Don wondering if that was a slam.
Don sits down to watch TV and then hears the doorbell. He tells Raph to answer the door, but his brother claims he got it the last time. Don says Mikey got it the last time and they start to argue about it. Outside, the Alien Beastie is ringing the doorbell over and over again. Finally, Raph agrees to answer the door and does so. He snaps at Alien Beastie, wanting to know what he wants. Alien Beastie barely gets a few words out before Raph yells that they don’t want any and slams the door in his face. Pondering the situation, Alien Beastie tries to figure out a way to get the Turtles to open the door. An idea strikes him to disguise himself as a delivery boy, so he puts on a tiny hat and knocks on the door again, a package in hand. He asks for them to open up because he’s got the fruitcake that they ordered.
Raph opens the door with a smile, but then catches a whiff of fruitcake. Calling it gross, he slams the door in Alien Beastie’s face again. Alien Beastie stands there in confusion. He has watched the Earthlings media programs via the satellites and notes that the delivery boy gag always works. He can’t understand what he did wrong. His attention is diverted when the Pizza Delivery dude walks up behind him and says he’s got some pizzas to deliver to someone named Leo. This is a light bulb moment for Alien Beastie, who takes the pizza and shouts “pizza’s here!”. The door opens but rather than getting inside, Alien Beastie is basically pounced on as the Turtles sweep over him to grab the pizza. He is left standing outside again, his clothes torn and basically the worse for wear.
Mike informs his brothers that there is a freaky alien outside wanting to get in. Raph realizes that it must be the brain munching beastie that the Adventure Machine cooked up. He tells Mike to go talk to him because he has nothing to lose, a comment that is not warmly received. Mike does go out to ask the Alien Beastie what he wants. The answer is that Alien Beastie has come to munch his brains as a gesture of peace and good will. Mike informs him that’s not an activity that is viewed as friendly on Earth. Alien Beastie asks if they are barbarians. Mike then offers to let him hang out with them and be cool, he can, but if he tries to munch anyone’s brains, they’ll have to fight him. Alien Beastie stutters in disbelief at the concept of physical violence and says they really are barbarians.
Alien Beastie follows along behind Mike and asks if he can just nibble his medulla, but Mike tells him no. Alien Beastie keeps asking – one little bite, a peck, a nip, a nibble or a little teensy-weensy taste. Mike has to keep telling him no and Alien Beastie finally says that this planet bites. Mike shows him the exit. Alien Beastie announces he’s going home because this place is boring. A disgruntled Alien Beastie blasts off from the planet and tells his computer that the next time they visit Earth to remind him to pack a lunch.
Mike returns to the lair to tell his brothers that the alien dude left. He says that if it wasn’t for his appetite, he’d be kind of cool and that he even gave Mike an egg before he left. The egg he’s carrying is huge. After he leaves it in a room, the other three Turtles start watching it, thinking it’s kind of spooky and foreboding. Mike, however, says it’s not evil and just needs a little love and caring. He walks off to go water the egg and his brothers worry that he is getting very attached to the egg.
Raph rushes to Splinter to ask for help with Mikey, but when he sees Splinter wearing a VR helmet, he thinks the alien is munching on his father’s brain. He runs to Leo to tell him, but Leo points to the egg and says it’s right where it’s always been. Leo tells him he should go lie down before he starts seeing monsters in every shadow. Then Raph spots the just hatched alien sliding up towards Leo’s head and yells a warning. Instead of trying to eat him though, the baby alien smooches Leo, clings to him and calls him mommy.
Leo immediately shouts for Mike who follows his voice into the kitchen. There he sees Leo holding the baby, the refrigerator door open, and bottles stacked up to Leo’s waist all around him. Mike’s jaw drops and Leo tells him they are going to need ten thousand more gallons of formula and another ton of strained peas. Later, Splinter asks Leo how Michaelangelo is enjoying surrogate parenting and Leo says he’s managing. A shaky, sweating Mike arrives and begs Leo to please help him, that he can’t take any more alien diapers. He continues begging for help as Leo turns to Splinter and tells him he thinks Mike is beginning to enjoy the job. After a while, Leo tells Mike that they need to talk about his baby alien. Her appetite is too voracious and she’s eating them out of house and home. Leo holds up his left arm to display that the baby alien has swallowed it up to his forearm and adds “not to mention arm and leg”. Mikey calls the baby “Oopsie” and asks if the “bad mans is bothering you”.
Oopsie soon finds her way into their secret storage room and eats all of the dehydrated food. Even as the other Turtles are trying to tell Mike that he has to get rid of the alien, Oopsie vanishes from the lair. Mike goes searching for Oopsie and can’t find her. His brothers tell him Oopsie probably ran away because she was hungry. She’s probably devouring a grocery store or two. Mike begins putting up missing posters offering a billion-dollar reward for Oopsie. Raph catches him and tells him he can’t offer that kind of reward, but Mike disagrees. When Raph asks where he’s going to get that kind of money, Mike says he sold Raph’s comics.
Raph can’t believe that Mike got that much money for the comics and thinks that they’re rich – until he learns that his brother only received ten dollars for them. He pitches a fit, yelling that those comics were his life, his heart and soul, each one a treasure. Mike reminds him that he had 800 copies of X-Cavators number 1. He also tells Raph that it took forever to find someone goofy enough to buy them. Cut to Bebop and Rocksteady who have stacks of Raph’s comic books all around them. Bebop asks if the stories don’t seem all the same and Rocksteady agrees but asks for another one.
Raph agrees to help Mike search for Oopsie. He says to find her, they have to think like her. They both end up in front of Mario Chan’s Ninja Equipment and Pizzeria. Mike tells his brother that he doesn’t think she’s here, but Raph tells him that this is the best place in the whole world. Raph knocks on a door marked “secret back entrance” and a panel slides open. The person on the other side says, “The crust is too thin” and Raph responds with “But the shuriken yet shines”. Master Mario Chan opens the door and asks what brings him there. Raph tells him they are searching for someone, and Master Chan says they must sample his new recipe first. He has his sons bring out Formula S-2974, which turns out to be a gigantic pizza, and Mike says that this is the greatest place on Earth.
To their surprise, Master Chan already knows about the missing Oopsie, thanks to a news flash announcing that an alien calling itself “Oopsie” was sighted in the city. Mike starts to panic, thinking everyone will be looking for her, but Master Chan tells him to be patient and a moment later, a second news flash changes the subject to a pair of celebrities. Master Chan tells the Turtles that he’ll send his number one son, Luigi-Sing, to help find Oopsie. The Turtles are ready to go, but Luigi-Sing tells them to wait while he dons his ninja apparel. He reappears wearing a pair of bunny ears. Once they are outside, he states that there is a problem with the ninja suit, and that’s the fact that it’s too cold outside. Considering, he not wearing a shirt, Raph makes a sarcastic comment. Then Mike says he’s got something that will help and slides a bag with the word “doofus” written on it over Luigi-Sing’s head. Raph finally yells at them to stop goonin’ around because they have to find Oopsie. Luigi-Sing says he needs a second to put on a coat and does so. The coat covers his upper torso, has fur at the wrist, waist and around the hood, which fits snugly around his entire head leaving only his eyes to be seen. The bunny ears stick up prominently, his arms are extended out from his sides, and he hops or shuffles in order to move. Mikey asks Raph to remind him of how the guy is supposed to help them. When they are in the sewers, the Turtles tell him it’s warm enough for him to remove the coat, but Luigi-Sing says that he can’t. They accuse him of being wimpy, but he explain that he can’t take off the coat because he can’t move his arms.
After Raph offers to remove the coat with dynamite, Luigi-Sing suggests they use the zipper. They free him and he asks where they last saw Oopsie. Mike tells him she was last seen in their kitchen, so they go back to the lair to look for clues. Unfortunately, they get sidetracked with pizza, but eventually Luigi-Sing leaps to his feet to say that Oopsie went West. When asked how he knows, he says it was the texture and elasticity of the mushrooms on the pizza. Back in the tunnels, Luigi-Sing tells them he knows she went this way because the microbolic essence has been disrupted by a polygenic aura. The Turtles decide they need Don to translate and go get him. When Luigi-Sing says “follow me”, Don turns to his brothers and says “he said follow me”.
Mike and Raph continue on with Luigi-Sing, who tells them to look for clues, such as anything unusual. In that section of the sewers, they encounter Frankenstein’s monster, the blob, a flying saucer, a gill-man, a crocodile in the water, a web-swinging figure, a Martian, and a periscope sticking up through the sewer water. Then they come upon a secret passage and enter into total darkness. The lights suddenly flash on, and the trio find themselves surrounded by Foot Soldiers.
As the fight begins, Luigi-Sing asks who they’re fighting and the Turtles explain that they are Foot Soldiers, minions of the Shredder. Luigi-Sing asks who that is. Watching on a monitor inside the Technodrome are Shredder and Krang. Shredder laughs that Luigi-Sing will soon find out. The Foot Soldiers keep coming and Luigi-Sing asks how many the Shredder has. Raph answers that he seems to have an endless supply. The next panel shows Shredder standing on a ladder at the back of the “Generic Foot Soldier Maker Machine”. He curses because he’s run out of foot powder again.
The Turtles fear that they’re sunk because the Foot Soldiers have them outnumbered ten to one. Then Luigi-Sing has an idea and shouts “Half-price sale at the Shoe-Mart!”. In a second, all of the Foot Soldiers have vanished, and Luigi-Sing shares his father’s wisdom that all you must do is find your foe’s weak spot. Knowing that they have to face the Shredder, Raph uses his Turtle Transmitter to call Leo for backup, but Leo puts him on hold. Suddenly, the Shredder yells at them to freeze. He is standing on a balcony above the sewer tunnel and is holding Oopsie. He tells them to drop their transmitter, or their alien friend gets it.
Though he is pointing his Tekkō-kagi right at the little alien, Oopsie leaps and chomps that arm right up to the elbow. Shredder starts shouting in pain and tries to pull Oopsie loose while Mikey orders him to drop the baby alien. In an aside, Shredder states that the sad thing is, he’s usually outsmarted by the Turtles. He finally pries Oopsie off and flings her away from him. She falls into Mike’s arms, and he tells her she is safe now.
Shredder begins a tirade, beginning with how expensive evil villain armor is, since Oopsie basically ate his entire gauntlet. He goes on and on with his threats, and Luigi-Sing asks Mike if he always drones on this way. Mike, holding a sleeping Oopsie, says yes and that’s why he’s their most feared foe. The Turtles finally cut in to tell Shredder that they’re going home because they are tired and hungry. Shredder calls them cowards for fleeing and taunts them further by telling them to take their pathetic, bunny-eared, bone-headed, bird-brained, dim-witted doofus friend with them. Luigi-Sing asks Raph if he thinks Shredder is talking about him.
Raph urges him to just go because Shredder isn’t worth the trouble, but Luigi-Sing refuses, stating that the man has insulted his honor, himself and worst of all, he has mocked his bunny ears. He says that the sacred bunny-eared ninja clan demands vengeance. Shredder then leaps from the balcony to attack Luigi-Sing. There is a loud crash and both combatants end up in a tangled pile on the ground. Raph attempts a little reason as he stands between the two. He tells them fighting resolves nothing and to stop. Luigi-Sing says he won’t until Shredder apologizes to the bunny-ear ninja clan. Shredder says he’d sooner be eaten by armadillos, though Raph reminds him that armadillos aren’t man-eating carnivores. The next panel shows an armadillo holding a knife and fork, who says that another evolutionary opportunity has been squandered.
Once more Raph tries to coax Shredder into apologizing. He tells him he can come back to conquer the world some other day. Shredder says he’s not trying to conquer the world anymore, that he’s going to sub-divide this sewer and make it into condos. He tells Raph that he’s evicting him. Raph replies that he can’t buy a city’s sewers, but Shredder says that he did. He explains that in an effort to revitalize the economy, the Governor has opened up the public works to facilitate private capital investment. Raph wants to know where he got the money to buy their sewers. A panel shows Krang riding a bicycle as he delivers newspapers.
To prove his purchase, Shredder shows them the deed. When it holds it out though, Oopsie wakes up and eats it, but Mike manages to retrieve it before she swallows. Mike starts reading the deed and sees a line that says “Act now and we’ll throw in the Brooklyn Bridge”. Shredder thinks he’s made the deal of a lifetime. Mike has to explain to him that he’s been cheated. Shredder doesn’t understand, he is sure he dealt directly with the Governor. A panel shows Leatherhead holding Shredder’s money. Shredder laments having spent all of his money, his vast fortune, and it’s all gone. He wonders where he’s going to get another fifty dollars.
Mikey says it’s time to go home, but still Luigi-Sing refuses because Shredder has not apologized yet. Mikey reminds him they’ve been gone for ages and he’s wicked hungry. He asks if Luigi-Sing would rather have an apology or a pizza. When Luigi-Sing asks what kind of pizza, Mike tells him mashed potato chip, mustard, jelly bean, yogurt and spinach. Luigi-Sing replies that on second thought, he’ll just hang around with his good buddy the Shredder. The pair begin complimenting each other on everything and the Turtles wonder how much longer they have to endure this.
Luigi-Sing announces that he now sees how they misunderstood each other and that Shredder is a fine and noble man. He holds up a deed and says Shredder gave him a great deal on the Brooklyn Bridge. By this time, Shredder has vanished, so he’s not around when Mikey tells Luigi-Sing that he was ripped off. Luigi-Sing is mortified that his good friend deceived him and took his life’s savings – an entire twelve dollars. Elsewhere, Shredder gloats to Krang about how he’s now got enough money to buy a large two topping pizza and get a small one for free. With this deal, he can rule the world. Krang tells him he thinks it’s time he took a vacation.
Raph says he’s happy to be getting home and Luigi-Sing agrees, telling the Turtles that he has much work to do. He begins listing all of the chores waiting for him and Raph tells him he should come to their home first so they can treat him to dinner for helping them out. After telling him about all the fun things they can do, he agrees to going with them to the lair. He says he’s sure his brothers won’t mind covering for him.
Back at the pizzeria, his brothers are plotting all of the things they are going to do to Luigi-Sing when he gets back, as they are the ones stuck doing his chores. Upon returning to the lair, they discover that it’s a disaster zone of overturned furniture, broken things and trash. Mikey asks if Raph knows what this means, and Raph replies that it was Mike’s turn to do the chores.
To be continued…