This is a transcript for Headlock Prime, the fourth episode of season 6 of TMNT (2003 series).
The episode begins on the rooftop garden of Cody Jones’ penthouse. Splinter carries a potted bamboo out to the garden and then spots Raphael standing on the ledge staring out at the city. | |
Splinter | Raphael? [He hops up on the ledge.] What troubles you, my son? |
Raphael | Ahh. We’re in the future, there’s this whole new city out there to explore, and the guys just wanna sit on their butts in the penthouse. |
Splinter | Yes, but remember, one must also make time to explore the landscape within. |
Raphael | Master Splinter, we can go out in broad daylight, and for the first time nobody wants to put us in a cage or dissect us. What are you doing up here anyway? |
Master Splinter points to the garden. | |
Splinter | I am cultivating a rooftop garden. A place of serenity and peace. |
A loud blaring horn makes them both cringe and they turn around to see a huge advertising blimp floating nearby. Mounted to its front is a giant balloon shaped like a wrestler. There are jumbotrons mounted on the sides and front of the blimp. | |
Wrestling Announcer | The Galactic Wrestling Federation presents the 57th Slam-A-Thon! [The jumbotrons show wrestlers fighting.] See all your favorite wrestlers battle it out for the title in the cage match finale! This championship belt is what it’s all about! Tonight at Madison Square Garden! |
Raphael’s mouth is wide open, his tongue sticking out. Then he grins. | |
Raphael | Ho-ho! I’m there! |
{Opening sequence; title song}
In the living room inside the penthouse, Donatello is seated on the floor tinkering with some electronics while Leonardo stands at the picture window which overlooks the city. Suddenly Michelangelo goes flying across the room, crashes into a stand and smashes a vase. | |
Cody Jones | How was that, Mikey? |
Michelangelo | Uh. I think you’re getting the hang of the winged monkey style, Cody. |
Leonardo | There’s no such thing as winged monkey style. That was a basic hip throw. Just remember, keep your arms straight on the release. |
Michelangelo | Quit playing backseat sensei, Leo. [In an aside to Cody.] Just, uh, keep that arm straight. |
Serling begins to clean up the mess. | |
Serling | Don’t you have a state-of-the-art dojo for this kind of rough housing? |
Donatello | Upgrading as we speak. The battle bots need a little toughening up. Raph took down half a dozen before breakfast. |
Serling | By teaching Master Cody how to fight are you not encouraging him to put himself in danger? |
Michelangelo | Chill out, lug nuts. We’re teaching Cody the art of self-defense so he can get himself out of trouble. |
Serling | Trouble that you hooligans will no doubt get him into. Uh. How many more antiques must be sacrificed for the art of self-defense? |
Cody | Oh, hey, Mikey, I gotta show you something. |
He walks away. Raphael comes down the staircase. | |
Raphael | Guys, you won’t believe what I just saw. We have to go, now! |
Donatello | Huh? |
Michelangelo | What is it? |
Leonardo | Is Viral back? |
Raphael | Pro wrestling! There’s a tournament tonight! [His brothers stare at him and then go back to what they were doing.] Come on, guys. Sitting in the stands at a real-life pro wrestling match is something I dreamed about my whole life. We can all go, and we don’t even have to wear disguises. |
Leonardo | Or we could stay here and watch it on 3D holovision. |
Raphael | Are you kidding me? Just once don’t you actually wanna be there? Think about it; the sights, the sounds, the smells of crazy wrestling madness all over everything. |
Donatello | Or we could stay here and watch it on 3D holovision. |
Raphael | Mikey. Mikey. I know you wanna go. Think about it. Two highly trained athletes engaged in a mano a mano battle to the finish. |
Michelangelo | A totally fake battle, though I bet they know the winged monkey technique. |
Raphael | Did I mention hot dogs? Greasy cheese nachos, root beer? |
Michelangelo | I’m there, dude. |
Cody comes running back into the room. | |
Cody | Hey, Mikey, check it out. [He points a remote at the holovision screen and Helix pops up on screen, weapons firing in all directions.] It’s called Helix, the hottest video game on the market. |
Michelangelo’s eyes turn to hypnotized swirls. | |
Michelangelo | Whoa! Whoa! [Raphael clears his throat and Michelangelo shakes his head to snap out of it.] Play the awesome game, or watch the fake sweaty wrestlers? Play the awesome game, or watch the fake sweaty wrestlers? I’m going with the game. |
Raphael | Fine. I’ll see you losers later. |
Raphael walks away. Splinter approaches the others. | |
Splinter | Perhaps one of you should go and make sure he stays out of trouble. |
Donatello | But the dojo! |
Michelangelo | The game. |
Leonardo | I’ll go. |
Cody | Here! Better take some money. |
He tosses a thumb sized device to Leonardo. | |
Leonardo | Money? |
Cut to the rear gate at New Madison Square Garden. A flashing sign above the door reads “Security Breached”. Someone approaches the door to the training room. Inside, two wrestlers are in the ring together. | |
Triple Threat Red | I can’t wait to pound these gutless cowards into paste! |
Triple Threat Teal | Stick to the plan. |
Triple Threat Yellow | Paste is sticky. |
Security guard | Hey, wrestlers only. What are you guys doing back here? [He gasps when his flashlight hits them.] Oh, no. It’s you! |
Triple Threat looms over him and each of the three heads cracks their necks. | |
Triple Threat Red | Looks like we get to warm up before the main event. |
Cut to the advertising blimp as it flies over New Madison Square Garden, still pitching the wrestling match. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Come one, come all to Slam-A-Thon fifty-seven where it’s at in wrestling! Tonight at Madison Square Garden! |
Raphael and Leonardo stand looking at the main entrance. | |
Leonardo | Whoa! |
Raphael | Nah, I like the old Garden better. |
Robo-seller | Programs, get your programs. |
Raphael and Leonardo approach the ticket booth. | |
Raphael | Two for the Slam-A-Thon, please. |
The robo-ticket seller takes the money stick from Leonardo, places it in the ticket machine, and rings up their purchase. The two tickets roll out of its stomach and it hands the tickets and money stick to the turtles. | |
Robo-ticket seller | Enjoy the show. |
Raphael | Oh, man. This is gonna be so awesome. Like the coolest thing ever. I’m talking the absolute best. [They are in their seats.] This is lame. No foam fingers, no rally pals – what is up with that? |
Leonardo | I guess the future isn’t big on souvenirs. |
Raphael | Uh. [He looks over and sees a snack vendor.] Well, at least they’re still big on snacks. Yo! |
He whistles and the vendor walks over. | |
Snack vendor | Yes, sir? |
Raphael | Gimme three hot dogs with ketchup and onions and a root beer. |
Snack vendor | I’m afraid I don’t have any of those things, whatever they are. |
Raphael | All right. Gimme a pretzel with mustard. |
Snack vendor | Ah, pretzel? |
Raphael | O~kay. How about some nachos? [The vendor scratches his head, puzzled.] Ice cream? Cotton candy? Peanuts? Popcorn? Gum, you got a lousy stick of gum? |
Snack vendor | Would you like a fish sickle? |
He pulls out an octopus-fish looking thing wrapped around a stick. | |
Raphael | Ugh! [He pushes the snack away.] Just forget it. No junk food, no overpriced souvenirs. The future’d better step up. |
Wrestling Announcer | Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats and get ready for Slam-A-Thon fifty-seven! |
The crowd claps. | |
Raphael | All right! Yeah! [He stands up.] It’s time to get it on! [The audience around him gives him dirty looks.] Let’s do this! |
Wrestling Announcer | And now hovering into the ring wearing the world championship belt, it’s the Piledriver and our challenger, the compelling Crusher! |
Both contestants jump off the hover-rings and into the ring. The crowd politely claps, but Raphael jumps up to pump his fists into the air. | |
Raphael | Ha-ha! Let’s go, Piledriver! You can take that punk! |
The man in the seat in front of him turns and shushes Raphael. | |
Leonardo | Looks like they don’t cheer the way we used to. |
Raphael | Are you kidding me? This is a wrestling match. Man, what is wrong with the future? |
The bell dings to start the match. | |
Wrestling Announcer | All right the match is beginning. Are you ready for your pulse to start pounding? |
Raphael | Finally, some action. |
The wrestlers circle each other as hover cameras record the action. | |
Wrestling Announcer | It’s a classic Loonyan opening. They’re both plotting their strategy. The Piledriver moves to control the center of the ring, while the Crusher circles, looking for his opening. The Piledriver waiting calmly for the Crusher to make his first move, but the Crusher doesn’t seem to be in any hurry. [The Crusher growls at the Piledriver.] The Crusher is trying to draw the Piledriver off balance. [Raphael crosses his arms and looks around.] The tension here in the arena is unbearable. |
The audience is sitting quietly. | |
Raphael | Boring! |
He stands up. | |
Leonardo | Where are you going, Raph? |
Raphael | I’m gonna spice things up, show ‘em what a real pro wrestling match is. |
Leonardo | Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea. |
Raphael storms down the aisle towards the ring. | |
Raphael | Come on, Piledriver. You call that wrestling? Show him what you got. Hey, Cushy, you’re a bum. I seen more slam in a car door. |
Leonardo comes up behind him and grabs Raphael’s arm. | |
Leonardo | Let’s sit back down, Raph. I’ll buy you a fish sickle. |
Raphael pulls away from him and continues on to the ring. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm. It appears some sort of lizard man is approaching the ring. |
Raphael | Hey, I can take both of you losers with one hand tied behind my shell. [The two wrestlers look at each other and shrug.] Somebody throw a chair or something. [He turns to the crowd.] This is the worst wrestling match I ever seen. |
A section of bleachers is suddenly thrown into the ring between the two combatants. The crowd mumbles as Triple Threat runs down an aisle and then leaps into the ring. | |
Triple Threat Teal | Hey sports fans, I’m back! |
Triple Threat Red | And I wanna put the hurt on someone. |
Triple Threat Yellow | Hurt the dirt, a shirt and a giraffe. Ha, ha, ha! |
Wrestling Announcer | Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t believe it. Unless my eyes deceive me, Triple Threat has entered the ring. He was forever banned from wrestling for using excessive force, but he vowed one day he would return for his belt! |
Raphael | Oh, ho! It’s all part of the show. Now we’re talking. |
Triple Threat Teal | You’ve heard that two heads are better than one? |
Triple Threat Red | Well, three heads are gonna snap your spines! |
Triple Threat grabs Crusher, lifts him overhead, spins him and then slams him to the mat. | |
Raphael | Yeah! Lay that smack down! |
Wrestling Announcer | Oh, dear me, that was a spinning gorilla pressed power slam. Outlawed on over twenty planets. [Triple Threat lifts Crusher and drops him down over his knee.] Ooh. An inverted gut buster drop. I think I’m gonna be sick. |
Triple Threat throws Crusher out of the ring. Crusher crashes into the bleachers. The audience starts fleeing their seats and the stadium. | |
Raphael | Whoa, follow through. |
Leonardo | Are you sure this is part of the show? |
Raphael | Of course, it is. What sucker’s gonna pay for that dance recital they were doing before? |
Leonardo turns to watch people running away. | |
Wrestling Announcer | The audience is fleeing the arena, terrified by the brutality. [Outside all of the huge display monitors lining the street are showing the action in the Garden.] But rest assured, we’ll continue to broadcast to our worldwide audience. |
Piledriver starts backing away while Triple Threat is watching the audience. Triple Threat turns. | |
Triple Threat Teal | And where are you going? |
Triple Threat Red | You don’t wanna miss your turn! |
Piledriver spins around and runs, but Triple Threat catches him before he can climb out of the ring. | |
Triple Threat Yellow | Can I keep it, please? |
He lifts Piledriver and throws him across the ring into the ropes. | |
Triple Threat Teal | One! |
Wrestling Announcer | It looks like he’s gonna give the Piledriver the triple play! |
Triple Threat throws Piledriver again. He bounces off the ropes on the opposite side and bounces back towards the larger wrestler. | |
Triple Threat Red | Two! |
He catches Piledriver and pitches him out of the ring and into a row of seats. | |
Triple Threat Yellow | And three! You’re out! |
Wrestling Announcer | Never in all my years have I seen such brazen contempt for the rules of professional wrestling. Shameful. |
People run out through the main entrance of the Garden. Inside the ring, Triple Threat plays to the camera floating in front of him. | |
Triple Threat Teal | I am the greatest wrestler in the universe! |
Raphael | Yeah, he’s good. But I seen better. |
Triple Threat Red | You got something to say, green bean? Say it in here. |
Raphael starts laughing and grabs the top rope. Leonardo puts a restraining hand on his shoulder. | |
Leonardo | Whoa. What the shell are you doing? |
Raphael | Showing ‘em how it’s done, bro’. |
Leonardo | Wait, I think this guy’s for real. |
Raphael starts climbing into the ring. | |
Raphael | Just relax and enjoy the show. |
Triple Threat takes the bleacher seats and tosses them out of the ring as Raphael hops in. He takes up a defensive stance as Triple Threat approaches. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Just a moment. It seems the salamander man has entered the ring. |
Raphael | Great entrance, Triple Threat. Let’s put on a good show. |
Triple Threat | Huh? |
He charges and grabs Raphael by the shoulders, lifts him and then falls back to slam Raphael headfirst onto the mat. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Ooh, the scoop brain buster, banned in 2044. |
Raphael sits up and rubs his head. | |
Raphael | Take it easy, big guy. Let’s make this last. |
Triple Threat grabs him by the head, twirls around and then flings Raphael against the ropes. As Raphael flies back, Triple Threat lifts his arm and Raphael slams stomach first into the wrestler’s thick arm. Raphael drops shell down on the mat. Leonardo grimaces. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Wow, a round trip clothesline. Looks like the frog man is in trouble. |
Raphael | Ohh, ugh. |
He rolls to his stomach and doesn’t see Triple Threat climb to the top rope and jump. Raphael turns over in time to see Triple Threat coming down at him. Triple Threat slams a knee right into Raphael’s chest. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Ooh, guillotine leg drop! |
Leonardo | Raph, you gotta get out of there! |
He climbs onto the mat and runs at Triple Threat, who backhands the turtle out of the ring. | |
Triple Threat Red | Hey, this ain’t a tag team match. |
Leonardo lands upside down in the seats. Triple Threat looms over Raphael, who is laying flat on the mat. Triple Threat mashes a button on a ring post and the dual ropes recede. The ring posts rise and then form a red net around and over the ring. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Insanity! Triple Threat is raising the Zenon field barricade! |
Triple Threat Red | You just stepped into a world of pain. |
Raphael | Oh, ugh. Okay, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. |
Wrestling Announcer | Uh-oh, Triple Threat has his opponent cornered. |
Raphael growls as Triple Threat moves towards him. As Triple Threat grabs for the turtle, Raphael leaps away and lands on one of the ring posts, where he perches. | |
Raphael | Too slow, bobbleheads. |
Triple Threat Yellow | Here, kitty, kitty. |
He grabs for Raphael, who springs off the ring post, bounces off of all three of Triple Threat’s heads, does a handspring off the mat, and lands on the opposite ring post. | |
Wrestling Announcer | The alligator man is working the barricade, fleeing like some kind of monkey! |
Raphael | Are you blind? I’m a turtle! |
Leonardo struggles to pull himself upright, rubs his head, and then runs to the ring. | |
Leonardo | Use your sai, Raph! |
Raphael jumps over Triple Threat’s head, bounces off his back and lands atop a ring post. | |
Raphael | No way. That’s against the rules. Only bad guys cheat in wrestling. |
Wrestling Announcer | The toad creature has honor, and it might cost him. |
Raphael bounces around the ring and Triple Threat runs around trying to catch him. | |
Triple Threat Teal | Quit wasting time with him. We gotta job to do before the cops get here. |
Triple Threat Red | Okay, okay. One more throw. |
He manages to catch Raphael’s ankles while the turtle is jumping. Raphael grabs onto a ring post as Triple Threat pulls on him. | |
Raphael | Okay, let’s be bad guys! |
Leonardo pulls one of his swords. | |
Leonardo | I’m coming! |
He slashes one of the ring posts in half and the barricade disappears. | |
Wrestling Announcer | What’s this? Another gecko man is entering the ring. |
Leonardo | Put him down! |
Triple Threat Red | Whatever you say! |
He sweeps Raphael through the air and slams him into Leonardo. Both turtles fly out of the ring and into the seats. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Oh! A double alley-oop, over and out! |
Triple Threat yanks the wrestling belt off of Piledriver. | |
Triple Threat Red | Now to take back what’s rightfully mine. |
He lifts it high over his heads. | |
Triple Threat Yellow | Ha ha! Yay! Ha ha ha ha ha! |
He places the belt around his waist. | |
Triple Threat Red | You are pretenders, but I am the champion! |
Triple Threat Teal | And now to get the other thing we came for. |
Triple Threat Yellow | A fish sickle? |
He runs out of the auditorium and around to the ticket booth. Arriving at the glass encloser, he points at the robo-ticket seller. | |
Triple Threat Teal | We’re here for some payback. |
Triple Threat Red | And for some back pay! |
Triple Threat Teal | The Galactic Wrestling Federation owes us for kicking us out. |
He pulls back a fist and then punches the glass, shattering it. He then rips the register out of its panel and walks off with it. | |
Triple Threat Yellow | I’m gonna buy a pony. |
Inside, Leonardo and Raphael are still sprawled across the seats. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Team green is down for the count. The plucky newcomers were no match for tyranny of Triple Threat. |
Leonardo | When am I allowed to say “I told you not to get in the ring”? |
Raphael | Never. [They hear a buzzing sound.] What’s that noise? |
Leonardo | Sounds like a burglar alarm. |
Raphael | He’s robbing the joint too? Oh, we gotta stop him. |
He hops out of the bleachers and runs towards the front. | |
Leonardo | Raph, are you kidding? He just kicked your shell. |
He chases after his brother. | |
Raphael | Yeah, and now he’s got me mad. |
Wrestling Announcer | Wait a minute! Looks like they’re taking it to the streets, wrestling fans, and we’re gonna follow the action. |
He leaves the announcers booth, followed by a flying camera drone. Leonardo and Raphael run out of the Garden, where Triple Threat is seated in his Steel Wheel. | |
Triple Threat Teal | Don’t these punks know when to quit? |
He starts the Steel Wheel and it rolls off before the turtles can get there. Raphael glances over his shoulder. | |
Raphael | Huh? [He puts his fingers to his mouth and whistles.] Yo, taxi! [A taxi pulls to the curb and the turtles get in.] Follow that.. big… wheel! |
Taxi Driver | But that’s Triple Threat. |
Leonardo | We’re very big tippers. |
The driver stomps on the accelerator and the tax speeds off. The wrestling announcer just misses them. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Hey, wait for me! Taxi! Taxi! |
A taxi pulls up and he gets in. As Triple Threat speeds along, the Yellow head is laughing. The chasing taxi catches up to them. | |
Raphael | Pull up alongside. |
The taxi pulls even with the Steel Wheel and Raphael climbs out onto the top of the taxi. | |
Triple Threat Teal | You don’t give up, do you, greenie? |
Raphael | Never. |
He leaps, both sai in his hands. When Raphael lands on the Steel Wheel’s console, he spins his power activated sai and stabs both into the console. Sparks fly, Triple Threat shouts, and Raphael jumps out of the Steel Wheel. It crashes into a nearby building. Triple Threat climbs out groaning. | |
Raphael | You… time for a rematch! I’m taking that belt, uglies. |
Triple Threat Red | Come get it, little man. |
Triple Threat Yellow | [laughing] Get it. |
The taxi carrying the Wrestling Announcer arrives and he climbs out with flying camera drone right beside him. | |
Wrestling Announcer | It’s the rematch of the century! Triple Threat versus the Turtle Terror! Our cameras are online so it’s time to tussle! |
All of the outdoor display monitors show the action taking place in the street. Triple Threat charges at Raphael, who punches him in the gut several times and then dives between his legs. Triple Threat grabs his leg and lifts Raphael high before slamming him down on top of a car. | |
Wrestling Announcer | A suborbital suplex slam! |
Triple Threat Red | Next time you’re down, stay down! |
Raphael sits up. | |
Raphael | I’m not through with you, head case. [He does a back handspring off the car onto a building overhand and then springs off of it.] Cowabunga! |
He strikes Triple Threat shell first and knocks the wrestler down before leaping off of him. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Ouch! [The giant monitors show a slow-motion instant replay of the scene.] A supernova cannon crusher. |
A crowd has gathered and they go wild. Raphael’s image is displayed on all the monitors. Leonardo arrives in the taxi and looks around at the cheering crowd. | |
Raphael | Thank you! Thank you! |
Triple Threat gets up while Raphael is taking his bows. He picks up a car and lifts it overhead before smashing it down on Raphael. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Ooh! He drove that point home. [Raphael struggles to get out from under the car.] A real flat tire car-pit bomb. |
Triple Threat Red | I am the king! Yeah! |
The crowd starts booing. Leonardo races over to his brother and lifts the car off of him. | |
Leonardo | You okay? |
He grabs Raphael’s arm and pulls him free. | |
Raphael | Coulda used an air bag. [Leonardo sets the car down.] Come on, Leo, we gotta finish this. Together. [They both move into the street.] Hey, head case! |
Triple Threat turns and sees them standing together, poised to fight. As the wrestler charges, Leonardo and Raphael interlock wrists and Raphael spins, lifting Leonardo off the ground. Leonardo slams his feet into the oncoming Triple Threat and knocks him down. | |
Wrestling Announcer | Oh, ho ho! The whirling feet of fury! |
Triple Threat is back on his feet, but wobbling around. The turtles attack, each striking hard. A close-up on Yellow head shows him seeing stars. | |
Triple Threat Yellow | I see sparkles. Ha ha. Oh, pretty. |
Triple Threat falls down. | |
Wrestling Announcer | That’s it! The match is over! The Turtle Terror has defeated Triple Threat [Raphael removes the belt from Triple Threat’s waist.] and captured the Galactic Federation’s championship belt! [The crowd cheers wildly as the monitors show Raphael holding the belt up high.] Let’s hear it for our new champion – the Turtle Terror! |
A Peacekeeper hover patrol car and two hover motorcycles arrive. Constable Biggles steps out of the car. | |
Constable Biggles | ‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello! What’s all this then? [He walks over to where Leonardo and Raphael are standing.] Ah, the three-headed menace that robbed the Garden. Chalk up another collar for Chief Constable Biggles. |
Raphael | No way, dude. Me and Leo took him down before you even got here. |
Biggles | Did you? Then I suppose you’re also responsible for all this damage? [He turns to survey the street.] Creating a disturbance, vandalism, filming without a permit…. |
The turtles take off while his back is turned. When Biggles turns around again, he sees the turtles driving away in the Steel Wheel. They wave at him. Back at the penthouse, Raphael goes out to the rooftop garden where Splinter is meditating. He sits down next to his father. | |
Splinter | So, Raphael, was your big night on the town as engaging as you had hoped? |
Raphael | Nah, no big deal. Just a nice quiet night out with my bro’. Couple of regular guys, just taking in a regular…. |
A blaring horn sounds and interrupts him. Both he and Splinter look up. The blimp floats by with a replay showing of the previous night’s events. | |
Wrestling Announcer | The Turtle Terror stunned the wrestling universe with his surprise victory at Slam-A-Thon 57, taking a battle all across Times Square! |
Splinter | Turtle Terror? |
Raphael | Aw, fish sickles! |
{Roll end credits}