Four Turtles and a Baby/Transcript

[Opening sequence and theme song.]

[Episode opens in the turtles’ lair. Michelangelo is ordering pizza while Raphael and Leonardo are seated on the couch watching television.]

Michelangelo "Yeah, dude, make it four large smoked herring and hot fudge pizzas with double cheese. Uh, hold on a sec. Hey, you guys want anything?"

Raphael "Uh, maybe later, Michelangelo."

TV Monster "Raah! Raah!"

[Donatello enters and places a device on top of the TV.]

Michelangelo "Hey, dude, we're right in the middle of “Brain-dead Rutabagas From Beneath the Sea”."

Donatello "Sorry to interrupt your program, but I've got this interdimensional tuner working again, and I want to try it out."

Leonardo "Oh, no. Not more alien TV shows."

Raphael "Yeah. I've seen enough amoeba soap operas to last me a lifetime."

Donatello "I'm gonna tune in to Dimension X. We haven't heard from the Neutrinos in a while."

Leonardo "Or Krang and Shredder, either."

Raphael "You'd think they'd at least drop us a postcard."

Donatello "The Neutrinos?"

Raphael "Krang and Shredder.

[The TV comes on, showing a scene of a city being destroyed.]

Amazing! A science fiction movie I haven't already seen!"

Donatello "Uh, no. According to my calculations, this signal is coming directly from Zoss, the capital city of the Neutrinos."

Michelangelo "Whoa, those dudes are really into urban renewal."

[Two Neutrinos appear on the TV screen.]

Zenter "This is Zenter calling... under attack."

Gizzla "Please! Help! Traag!"

[The screen changes to static.]

Donatello "That was Zenter and Gizza, the Neutrino leaders, and they're in trouble."

Leonardo "I heard them say "Traag”. If that's General Traag—"

Raphael "Then Shredder and Krang can't be far behind."

[Shift to Zoss, where Rock Soldiers are in the streets, blasting everything in sight. A Neutrino flies overhead in a starcruiser and fires at the invading force, hitting them with green goo.]

General Traag "General Traag calling Krang."

[Krang responds from inside the Technodrome.]

Krang "What is it, General Traag? Have you conquered the Neutrinos yet?"

Traag "No. They've counterattacked. We're pinned down."

[He’s hit with goo.]

Krang "You're letting those things pin you down?"

Traag "Bleah. Uch. Yes. And what's worse, they taste terrible."

Shredder "Traag, you must capture the Capitol building, or the Neutrinos will never surrender."

Traag "But we can't break through their defenses."

[He’s splattered again.]

Shredder "Oh! We've got to do something, Krang."

Krang "Yes, and as usual, I know what; portal to the Neutrino City and capture Zenter and Gizzla. Once we have their leaders in our grasp, the Neutrinos will surrender."

Shredder "Come on, you two."

Bebop "Oh, boy. We get to go to the Neutrino capital."

[Inside Zoss’ city hall, Zenter and Gizzla attempt to watch the battle on their television.]

Gizzla "It's no use. General Traag must be jamming the broadcast channel. This isn't cool, Zenter. We've got to get our daughter Tribble out of here."

Zenter "All reet, my sweet, we'll send her to our friends the turtles."

[He switches the channel, turning the TV into a portal.]

Gizzla "Good. The turtles are cool cats."

Zenter "I'll send along a note. They'll take good care of Tribble."

[They place the baby and note in a basket and Zenter sends it through the portal.]

Gizzla "May the turtles be with you, little one."

[A portal opens at the other end of the room.]

Zenter "Shredder!"

Shredder "Well, well. The former leaders of the Neutrinos. Ha ha ha ha! Seize them!"

[Back on Earth, a pizza delivery guy pedals his bike through the streets.]

Pizza Guy "Boy, I don't get this address: "Avenue H, Sewer Grate 3"? Is there a Michelangelo here? I got your pizza!"

[He starts down an alley. A portal opens in the sky above his bike, and the basket drops onto the handlebars. At that moment, Michelangelo pushes aside a manhole cover and climbs up from the tunnels.]

Michelangelo "Hey, delivery dude, where'd you go? Whoa. Now, this is weird. I've heard of chicken in a bucket, but pizza in a basket?

[He puts money on the bike and takes the basket.]

Hmm, guess you can't fight progress.

[Arriving back in the lair, he sets the basket on the coffee table.]

Here's the pizza, dudes. Dig in."

[They all reach into the basket and the baby starts giggling.]

Tribble "Ha ha ha ha!"

Donatello "Giggling pizza?"

Raphael "I know you got strange tastes in pizza, Michelangelo, but this one takes the pie."

Leonardo "Be careful. It might be a Shredder booby trap."

[Donatello carefully opens one of the hinged tops on the basket and Tribble pops up. The baby starts chattering at them.]

Raphael "More like a baby trap."

Leonardo "It's a Neutrino baby. She must have come through a portal."

Donatello "Here's a note. "Dear Ninja Turtles, please keep an eye on our Tribble. We'll dig you later, Gizzla and Zenter”."

[While he’s reading, Tribble climbs out of the basket, onto the floor, and crawls away.]

Michelangelo "This diaper dudette must be their offspring."

Leonardo "They wouldn't have sent her unless there was real trouble."

Raphael "Well, there's real trouble right here in Sewer City. Tribble has disappeared. Oh, great. Two minutes on the job, and we're blowing it."

Donatello "You know, I remember there's something weird about Neutrino babies. Now, what was it?"

Leonardo "Here, Tribble, Tribble, Tribble!

[Tribble is hiding under a chair and giggling.]

Come on, Tribble.

[He reaches for her and she points at him, which sends him flying across the room.]

Whoa!"

Donatello "Now I remember. They're born with telekinetic powers. They can move objects just by thinking about them."

Leonardo "I think I figured that out."

Donatello "But they lose their powers as they grow older."

[Tribble crawls from under the chair just as Raphael sits down. She waves her hand and the chair rises up to the ceiling.]

Raphael "Well, at this rate, we won't last that long."

[Leonardo hangs diapers up on a line in the kitchen.]

Leonardo "How come I'm stuck with diaper duty?"

Donatello "Hey, stop complaining. I'm taking care of the other end."

[He’s pouring milk through a series of tubes. On the other end, Tribble sucks on a makeshift nipple. Michelangelo places food into a blender.]

Michelangelo "One large strained carrot pizza coming up.

[Tribble waves her hand and a skateboard rolls under Michelangelo’s feet as he turns with the food cup. He rolls across the room and smashes into the wall. The mashed food ends up on his head.]

Whoa! Well, it could stand a skosh more mozzarella."

Tribble "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Raphael "You know, Shredder we can handle, but for Tribble, we need help."

All "April! April!"

[Shredder has taken Zenter and Gizzla to the Technodrome.]

Krang "Thank you for giving me rule over your Neutrinos, Zenter!"

Zenter "The Neutrinos will never accept you as their big cheese, Krang."

Krang "Try not to be an idiot. Once you two are gone, there's no one left to take over the Neutrino throne but little old itty me."

Gizzla "Wrong-oroony, Krang. We have a daughter."

Krang "What? Why wasn't I told?"

Shredder "The Neutrinos will never surrender as long as their daughter is free."

Zenter "We sent our hip chick to Earth--ha ha!

[In a singsong voice.]

And you'll never find her!"

Krang "

[In mock singsong voice.]

You-ou're wrong, Neutrinos! With this spectral analyzer, I can find a Neutrino anywhere, even on Earth."

Shredder "Rocksteady, Bebop, and I will bring the brat back to you, Krang, but in return, I want first crack at the Neutrinos."

Krang "Of course, Shredder. I'm sure they would benefit from your gentle hand."

[A portal opens in the sewer tunnels. As Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady step out, something starts ringing.]

Rocksteady "Ooh-ooh, telephone!"

Bebop "I'll get it. It's probably for me."

Shredder "Oh, shut up, you idiots. It's the analyzer. It has detected a Neutrino, and coming this way."

[The turtles are running through the tunnels. Donatello has Tribble in a back carrier, strapped to his shell.]

Donatello "Shredder."

Shredder "Hand over the brat, Donatello."

Raphael "Are you starting a day care center, Shredder?"

Shredder "She is the heir to the Neutrino throne, and Krang wants to rule."

Michelangelo "No way we'll hand her over, dude. There's four of us and three of you."

[The portal opens again and two Foot Soldiers join Shredder.]

Shredder "You were saying?"

Leonardo "Donatello, get Tribble out of here."

Shredder "After him! Get that baby!"

Rocksteady "Right, boss."

[One of the Foot Soldiers attacks. Raphael throws a sai and knocks the sword from his hand. Michelangelo throws a turtle line around a soldier and hangs him from an overhead pipe.]

Michelangelo "Don't hang around on my account, dude."

[Rocksteady and Bebop move towards Donatello. He holds his bō defensively.]

Donatello "Oh, no, you don't."

Bebop "Oh, yes, we do."

[Bebop snatches Tribble out of the carrier.]

Donatello "Give back that baby, you creep. Come back with that baby! They got Tribble."

Shredder "And there's nothing you can do about it."

All "Go, green machine!"

[Shredder turns and shots an overhead steam pipe. The steam fills the tunnel, cutting the turtles off from their foes.]

Shredder "Ha ha ha ha ha ha! So long, shell-backs!"

Raphael "Come on, you— Whoa-ho-ho!"

Leonardo "Ahh! We can't get past! It's too hot."

[Donatello uses his staff to push up on the broken section of pipe.]

Donatello "Uhhn! There. Come on, guys."

Shredder "The portal is just ahead."

[Tribbles starts chattering and waves her hand. Shredder and his two mutants start floating.]

Shredder "What!

[Tribble giggles. Shredder hits the tunnel ceiling and drops his gadget.]

Oh, no. The spectral analyzer."

Bebop "Ow! Whoops. I dropped the kid."

Tribble "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

[Donatello runs over and catches the baby.]

Donatello "Gotcha. Hey butterfingers, be careful."

[Tribble wriggles her fingers and Shredder and the mutant duo go flying through the tunnel away from them.]

All Three "Whoa! Ohh!"

Leonardo "I don't know why they want this Neutrino baby, but I know they'll be back."

[They finally reach April’s apartment. She holds the baby on her lap as she sits on the couch.]

April O’Neil "What a cute little baby."

Leonardo "Oh, by the way, April, when Tribble makes that goo-goo sound, she's hungry."

Michelangelo "Yeah, but an urgle-gurgle means "Let's party!""

[Late at night, April is walking Tribble around her apartment.]

April "Oh, Tribble, don't you ever sleep?

[Tribble chatters.]

I don't know what they do on Dimension X in the middle of the night. Oh, but on Earth, we sleep. At least some people do. Oh, are you sure you didn't come with an instruction book?"

Tribble "Uh-uh. Hee hee!"

[Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady hold onto pipes in the sewer tunnels to keep from floating away. Shredder speaks to Krang on his comlink.]

Krang "You clumsy, incompetent nincompoops! You had the Neutrino brat right in your hands."

Shredder "That infant had powers, Krang!"

Krang "Of course, you idiots. All Neutrinos have that power as babies."

Shredder "You knew, and you didn't tell us?"

Krang "I didn't wanna worry you. Now use the spectral analyzer to find the brat and bring her here at once!"

Shredder "Uh, about the analyzer."

Krang "Don't tell me. The turtles got that, too?"

Shredder "No. But it seems to have lost its pinpoint capacity."

Krang "Outwitted by four turtles and a baby. Unbelievable. Find that little crumb grabber!"

Rocksteady "Um, how are we gonna do that, Krang?"

Krang "Um, I don't care. Just do it!"

Rocksteady "How are we gonna find the kid?"

Bebop "Simple. We go where babies hang out."

Rocksteady "Oh. Like baby discos?"

Shredder "No, no, you morons! Babies need things like bottles and diapers. We'll just check out every baby store in town."

[Wearing disguises, the turtles approach a baby store.]

Donatello "Boy, this is some list April gave us. Diaper pins, baby powder, formula."

[They hear a woman scream.]

Leonardo "What's going on?"

[Customers of the baby store come running out.]

Customers "Aah! Aah!"

[Inside, Shredder and his mutants search baby strollers.]

Bebop "No Tribble here, boss."

Shredder "Ohh, ugly child. My condolences, madam."

Mother "You should talk!"

[She kicks him.]

Shredder "Ow!"

Raphael "Well, if it isn't the three baby nappers!"

Bebop "The turtles!"

Shredder "Where's the Neutrino baby?"

Leonardo "You really think we're that stupid?"

Raphael "No, no, no. Never leave yourself open like that, Leonardo. And you're gonna flip over this one!"

[He jumps onto one end of a see-saw. Shredder happens to be standing near the other end and it smacks him under the chin, sending him soaring backwards.]

Shredder "Aah!"

Donatello "We gotta stop going around together, bacon breath!"

[He and Bebop tug on Donatello’s staff. Donatello flips it over and throws Bebop. He lands in a baby bath.]

Bebop "Aah! Hey!"

Michelangelo "Here. This is about your speed."

[He kicks a toy car underneath Rocksteady’s feet. Rocksteady takes a tumble into a pile of toys.]

Rocksteady "Whoa! I'm stuck."

[He is caught in a mini-electric car.]

Raphael "Now you kiddies play nice."

[They run out of the store.]

Shredder "We can't lose those turtles. They'll lead us to that brat."

Bebop "Right, boss."

[At April’s apartment, Tribble has made all sorts of things float in the air.]

April "I know you're only playing, Tribble, but this isn't funny!"

[Tribble chatters and giggles. April’s telephone starts ringing. April sets Tribble down on the couch.]

April "I hope it's the turtles. They can take you for a while. Hello."

Burne Thompson "April, Vernon called in sick. You've got to come in and do his broadcast."

April "But, Chief—"

Thompson "I know it's your day off, but Channel 6 needs you!"

April "Okay. I'm on my way.

[She turns to find that Tribble has dozed off.]

Oh, thank goodness you're asleep. I just hope she'll sleep until I finish the broadcast."

[She places Tribble in a big duffle bag. April pulls up in front of the Channel 6 news building on her scooter.]

Thompson "Where is April? We've got ten seconds to air time!"

Irma "Actually, we've got nine, eight, seven—"

April "Here. Watch this for me, Irma."

[She hands the bag holding Tribble to Irma.]

Irma "Four, three, two..."

April "Good afternoon. This is April O'Neil with the headlines of the hour."

Irma "Ohh, show business. I love it."

[Tribble wiggles and manages to open the bag. She crawls out and across the newsroom.]

April "Today, the mayor gave a—

[Notices Tribble.]

WAKE UP! --call to all citizens.

[She covers the mic.]

Irma!"

Irma "What?"

April "And right here at Channel 6, we're having a beautiful-- BABY!-- contest in the lobby this afternoon."

Irma "A baby? April, are you keeping secrets from me?

[She chases Tribble.]

Come to Auntie Irma!"

[Michelangelo spots a TV in a store window. It’s showing April’s broadcast.]

Michelangelo "Whoa, dudes, it's April."

Leonardo "She's at the studio."

Donatello "So who's minding Tribble?"

[Tribble sends a rolling chair across the room and it scoops up Irma.]

Irma "Whoa! Who is this baby anyway?"

[April continues her broadcast as Irma rolls around the newsroom.]

April "There was big-- TRIBBLE!-- uh, trouble at the DeLemon Auto Assembly Line today when workers walked off.

[Tribble makes April’s chair float.]

Whoa!

[The chair and April turn upside down.]

And now, with the news from the other side of the world."

Michelangelo "Whoa, that's pretty bodacious camera work for a news broadcast."

Raphael "That's not camera work. April has got Tribble trouble."

April "I'm April O'Neil, and this has been a different look at the news."

Irma "We're clear!"

[Tribble giggles and April’s chair rights itself and lands on the floor again.]

April "Oh! Tribble, where are you? You're causing too much trouble! Tribble! Oh, no.

[Tribble crawls onto an open window.]

Oh, no, the baby's headed for the window!"

Irma "I got her!"

[Tribble causes a bottle of baby oil to open and spill on the floor.]

April "Look out, Irma. The baby oil!"

Irma "Aah!"

[Irma slips and falls. April runs towards the baby.]

April "No. Tribble, Tribble, stop!

[Chattering to herself, Tribble crawls out onto the building’s ledge.]

Come back, Tribble, please! No, Tribble! Don't! Tribble, don't move."

[April crawls onto the ledge.]

Irma "Careful, April. We're thirteen floors up."

Michelangelo "Scope it out, dudes. That's Tribble up there!"

Leonardo "And April."

[A bird lands on the ledge. Tribble grabs at it.]

April "No, Tribble.

[Tribble goes over the edge.]

No!"

Donatello "Tribble's falling!"

April "Tribble!"

Michelangelo "Come on, amigos! We've gotta save that micro-dudette!"

Raphael "Oh? Can we fly?"

Michelangelo "No, but we can surf.

[He runs and then jumps up to kick over a fire hydrant. Water shoots into the air.]

Cowabunga! Grab a wave, Raphael!"

Raphael "Right.

[He leaps onto the water spout.]

Cowabunga!"

Tribble "Ha ha!"

Raphael "I'll catch you, Tribble.

[She activates her powers and floats down next to him, giggling the whole time.]

Hey. How'd you do that?

[He grabs for her, misses, and falls.]

Whoa!"

Donatello "Tribble's not falling."

Michelangelo "But Raphael is!"

[They run over to catch him. Raphael slams into his brothers and they all hit the ground.]

Raphael "Yaah!"

All "Oof!"

Raphael "Oh, thanks for breaking my fall, guys."

Michelangelo "Oh, no problemo, dude."

Donatello "Uh, yeah. Drop in any time."

[Leonardo reaches up and catches Tribble. She starts chattering to him.]

Leonardo "Nice rescue, guys."

[A portal opens in the sky and Shredder and his two mutants fall out, landing in an alley.]

Shredder "Now we've lost them, you idiots."

Bebop "Uh, but, boss, you're the one who dropped that analyzer thing."

Shredder "Shut up."

[The trio stop in front of the store with the TV in the window. On it, Burne Thompson is holding Tribble while April holds a microphone for him.]

Bebop "Hey, boss, it's that Neutrino brat."

Thompson "We at Channel 6 want all of our viewers to know how sorry we are that this unfortunate incident happened here in our studios.

[Tribble sucks her thumb and then blows a raspberry.]

And we want to remind you all to bring your babies down for Channel 6's ‘Pretty Baby Photo Contest’ today."

Bebop "Aw. Ain't that sweet?"

Shredder "Come on, you dimwits. That Neutrino brat is ours."

[Inside the Technodrome, Krang watches the Earth events on his monitor.]

Krang "Bring Zenter and Gizzla here! I want them to witness the capture of their brat personally. Ha ha ha ha!"

[The Foot Soldier runs to the holding cell where the two Neutrinos are, and turns off the security field on the doorway so he can enter. They appear to be gone and the soldier runs back out. Zenter and Gizzla are overhead, hanging onto pipes.]

Gizzla "Ooh, you are so clever, my cool daddy-o."

Zenter "No. Those foot soldiers are so lame! Ha ha ha! Now let's split the scene."

[The Neutrinos fly out of the Technodrome in their starcruiser.]

Krang "They've escaped? Oh, no."

[Women and couples with their babies are lined up outside of the Channel 6 building. Inside, April sits at the reception desk while Irma holds Tribble, who is chattering and giggling.]

Irma "Oh, you're the cutest, hands down."

[Bebop pushes Rocksteady, who is in a stroller, into the building. Rocksteady is dressed as a baby, and Bebop wears a dress and wig.]

Bebop "Now be a good baby and don't mess your diadies."

[He laughs and snorts.]

Rocksteady "Oh, shut up and fix your make-up."

Bebop "Uh, there. I don't think this is my shade, though."

[Shredder enters in a hat and trench coat.]

Shredder "Get that Neutrino baby, you idiots."

Bebop "Right, boss."

Rocksteady "Come on, Mommy. Push me."

Bebop "Ah, shut up.

[He starts speaking in a high-pitched voice.]

Let us through. I've got the winning little fella right here."

Irma "My, what a-- an interesting child."

Bebop "Cute little rascal, ain't he? Cootchie-cootchie-goo!

[Rocksteady pulls his nose ring.]

Ow! Oh, you asked for it, Rocksteady."

[He clobbers Rocksteady with his purse and knocks him out of the stroller.]

Rocksteady "Ow! That does it, you big oinker!"

[They face off. The turtles enter the building.]

Donatello "I wonder how the baby contest is going."

Raphael "I don't know, but there's a family with problems."

Leonardo "It's Bebop and Rocksteady!"

Shredder "Grab the Neutrino!"

[The turtles run over to cut them off.]

Bebop "Turtles!

[He and Rocksteady pull their laser guns.]

Personally, I like 'em fried."

Turtles "Whoa! Yow!"

[They jump aside as the pair starts shooting. Raphael leaps skyward.]

Raphael "Ya-hah!"

[He lands behind Bebop and uses his sai to disarm the mutant.]

Bebop "Hey!"

Raphael "Yah! I've never hit a mutant in a dress before. Ha ha! It might be fun."

Bebop "No fair! I ain't wearing the right outfit."

Raphael "You're right. It clashes with your eyes."

Bebop "Uh, you really think so?"

Donatello "Those thugs are after Tribble."

April "Come on, Irma. Let's get her out of here."

Irma "I'm with you."

[They start to run but Shredder intercepts them and grabs Tribble.]

April "Oh!"

Shredder "Say bye-bye, baby! Ha ha ha ha!

[Tribble makes him float.]

Oh, no! Get me down!"

[He throws Tribble and Donatello catches her.]

Donatello "Ha ha! I'm sure glad you're on our side, Tribble."

Shredder "Rocksteady, get that brat!"

Rocksteady "Give me that baby!"

Donatello "Why? You need a playmate?"

[Donatello climbs onto the huge globe in the center of the lobby and Rocksteady climbs after him. On top, Donatello starts running, making the globe spin.]

Shredder "Get the brat!"

Rocksteady "Hey, give me a break, boss. I'm chasing them all around the world."

Donatello "Hang on, Tribble. We're gonna reduce the population of this world by one."

[He grabs onto a protrusion and stops running. Rocksteady hits him and loses his balance.]

Rocksteady "Whoa! Aah! Ooh!"

[Bebop runs for the door and Shredder floats over, reaching for him.]

Shredder "Bebop, wait for me!"

[Rocksteady slams into both of them.]

Shredder "Yow! Ohh!"

[The trio exit the building. A portal opens inside the lobby and the starcruiser flies through, then lands.]

Zenter "Greetings, cats. What's the haps?"

Leonardo "Zenter, are we glad to see you."

Gizzla "Where's my Tribble?"

Donatello "Right here, Gizzla."

Tribble "Mama. Mama. Hee hee! Oh, Mama."

Gizzla "Oh, was she a good girl?"

Michelangelo "Aw, the dudette was fabuloso."

Zenter "Ha ha ha! See, honey? I told you she wouldn't be any trouble."

[The turtles look at each other and then laugh.]

Donatello "Right. No trouble at all."

Leonardo "What about General Traag's attack on your city?"

Zenter "Hey, not to worry, Daddy-o. As soon as our cool cats and hip chicks heard we were free, they sent Traag and those rock soldiers movin' on."

[The starcruiser lifts off. Tribble chatters and waves back at the turtles, April, and Irma, who are waving at her.]

Donatello "So long, Tribble. Come back soon."

Michelangelo "Yo, dudes. Keep in touch!"

April "Bye, Tribble!"

[They fly away. Back at the lair, Leonardo, Donatello, and Raphael relax on the couch.]

Donatello "Gee, I kind of miss Tribble."

Leonardo "Me, too. It's so quiet around here."

Raphael "Yeah. It's funny how you get attached to those little tykes."

[Michelangelo enters, carrying a pizza box.]

Michelangelo "Hey, cheer up, dudes. Here's something to remember the little dudette by."

Raphael "What is it?"

Michelangelo "A giant pablum pizza with strained spinach topping. Dive in."

His brothers "Aw! Oh, come on! Dive out! Yecch!"

[End Credits]