Some TMNT stuff really isn't for little kids.
[The Planet Neutrino.]
Krang "Blast it all!"
Krang "How many KIA this time, Captain Tragg?"
Tragg "Six stone soldiers, General Krang—some of the best from our spec-ops group. They'd run at least a dozen successful raids against the NRF before this ambush."
Krang "Ambush? Is that what you call this, Tragg? We lose six good soldiers and the Neutrino Resistance Fighters lose one."
Krang "Me? I'd call it a catastrophe."
Krang "I will not stand for this!"
Krang "Sergeant Granitor, get us back to Burnow Island now!"
Granitor "Yes, sir."
Granitor "Burnow command, this is Granitor. Engage teleportation."
>Copy, Sergeant. Engaging now.<
Pogue "Welcome back, General Kra—"
Krang "Save the niceties, Lieutenant Pogue. Have you been able to get a hold of that imbecile Stockman yet?"
Pogue "N-No, sir. We've tried numerous times, but he has yet to respond, General."
Krang "Tell my pilot to get my plane ready—I'm going to pay the doctor a visit. It's high time he and I get together..."
Krang "...For a little face-to-face."
Michelangelo "Man, I'm so stoked you're finally gonna meet Woody, bro! He's such a righteous dude—have I told you that?"
Raphael "Yeah, Mikey, you mentioned it..."
Raph "...'bout a zillion times."
Raph "Whoa. I been here before—back when I was livin' on the streets. Used to be a good place to dumpster dive."
Mikey "No way! You came through here when we were lookin' for you and we never bumped into each other? That's way bizarre, man."
Raph "Tell me 'bout it. I got a buncha good grub here until some grumpy old guy finally ran me off."
Mikey "Ha! That musta been ol' man Rupert, dude who owns the place. Yeah, he can be pretty harsh."
Mikey "But don't worry, bro. 'Cause Woody's super cool—have I told you that? He caught us in the dumpster, too, like a year ago..."
"...A day that will live in pizza-chompin' infamy!"
Woody Dirkins (flashback) "Yo, whadda you dudes think you're doin'?!"
Woody (fb) "Don't waste your time on that garbage, man. Wouldn't you rather dig into..."
Woody (fb) "...This?!"
"It was love at first sight. You never saw anything so pretty, bro... Or cheesy."
Mikey "And Woody's been like my BFF ever since—best food friend!"
Raph "And it doesn't bother him that we're... You know...?"
Mikey "Mean, green, fightin' machines? Nah, he says us weirdoes gotta stick together. 'Sides, I'm pretty sure he thinks we're Martians. He's totally rad—have I told you that?"
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Woody "Yo, Mikester! Bingo..."
Mikey "Woody Dirkins, I wanna intro you to my bro Raphael—once lost but now found... And an excellent dude to boot."
Woody "All right, Raph! Man, your brothers were bustin' their humps tryin' to find you for the longest time. Really glad it worked out."
Raph "Yeah, me, too. And it's cool to finally meet you—Mikey talks about you... A lot."
Woody "Heh. That's 'cause the Mikester don't know any better."
Mikey "Probably because you put some kinda hypnotic potion in my pizza, man—messin' with my mind and my taste buds."
Woody "You know it. Speakin' of taste buds, I threw in a large antipasto salad for your dad, too—extra olives, just the way that rat-man digs it."
Mikey "Sweet. Thanks!"
Woody "Don't mention it, amigo... Especially to ol' man Rupert, heh."
Woody "All righty, I gotta get back to work, fellas. Was good meetin' you, Raph."
Woody "And Mikey—you da reptile!"
Mikey "You da man!"
Mikey "That is one kick-butt dude. Have I told you that?"
Donatello "I just don't buy it, Leo."
Donnie "...I just can't."
Leonardo "But you saw it for yourself, Donnie—those were Foot Ninja on that roof fighting against that French guy.*"
[* As seen in TMNT #6 — B.C.]
Donnie "No, I saw a ninja fighting the savate dude—it was Master Splinter who said they were Foot Ninja, and he wasn't even there."
Leo "Yeah, but we described them to him pretty accurately. If anyone knows what a Foot Ninja looks like, it's Father."
Donnie "And there's that, too, man. Father says he knows what the Foot look like because he used to be one in feudal Japan... Which is crazy."
Donnie "C'mon, Leo... Reincarnation? That sounds about as believable as one of Mikey's goofy comic book stories."
Donnie "If it's true, why is it he remembers the past and we don't?"
Leo "You know, I'm not so sure about that."
Leo "I mean... Sometimes when I'm dreaming, I... See things. Little flashes that seem so real, like... Like they hapened to me. Sometimes I even see..."
Leo "Doesn't matter."
Donnie "Whatever. All I know is, I'm willing to give Father the benefit of the doubt, but I can't accept things on blind faith, either. I need some kind of empirical evidence first."
Donnie "Maybe looking into this Oroku Saki legend is the place to start. At least that gives us an actual name to chase, even if he's long dead."
Leo "Look, Don, I get that you've got questions. Heck, so do I—a bunch. But right now I think it's best to respect what Sensei says and wait for things to come to us."
Donnie "Come to us?"
"Leo, we live in the sewer..."
"...What exactly do you think is gonna come to us here?"
[New York Tech University Gymnasium.]
April O'Neil "He-yah!"
Casey Jones "Good!"
Casey "That was pretty good, April—you're really startin' to get the hang of this. You just gotta remember to use your hips more, like you're swingin' a baseball bat. You can't just use your arm strength."
April "So, are you saying I've got wimpy arms?"
Casey "Uh... No... I just meant—"
April "I'm teasing you, Casey. The advice really helps—thanks."
April "Now, just let me change and then I can help you with that English paper you need to write."
Casey "Yeah, well, maybe we should, uh... Skip that. I... I didn't bring a pencil or paper or nothin'."
April "Yep, that's exactly what you said last time."
April "But don't worry, 'cause I have plenty for both of us in my backpack today... Plus my laptop."
April "So, get showered, slugger—we got a paper to knock out!"
Casey "Aw, man."
Splinter "Remain focused on the battle at hand, my sons..."
Splinter "...The time for answers must wait!"
Donnie "Yes, Sensei!"
Old Hob "Beautiful..."
Hob "...So friggin' beautiful."
Hob "And the party's just gettin' started."
Leo "Sensei, there's more of them attacking!"
Splinter "Yes, I see them, Leonardo! We are far too outnumbered..."
Splinter "...We must fall back in order to regroup!"
Hob "Hey, hey, hey... Where d'you cowards think you're goin', huh?"
Splinter "Old Hob!"
Hob "Yep, Hob's the name and killin' scum's the game. Thought you could run out on my new little toys, didya?"
Hob "Well, I got bad news for you twerps."
Hob "Game over."
Leo "Crap! Hob's making them knock the place down!"
Mikey "Man, I can't wait to chow on this baby. Nothin' like pizza for dinner and video games for dessert. Life is good!"
Raph "Whoa, did you feel that?"
Mikey "Feel what?"
Raph "Dunno... Like somethin' rumblin' below us in the sewer."
Mikey "Ha! That's just everyone's stomachs, bro."
Mikey "Right about now I'll bet they're practically tearin' down the walls from hunger."
Raph "Heh. Now that'd be funny to see."
Baxter Stockman "Security, this is Doctor Baxter Stockman in the penthouse suite!"
Baxter "My place has been—"
>Doctor Stockman? Are you still there, sir? Is everything okay?<
Baxter "Uh... Yes... Yes, I'm fine. P-Please dis... Disregard this call. Thank you."
Krang "Ah, Stockman, there you are. Sorry about the mess..."
Krang "...But all that security you've got doesn't exactly make a person feel welcome. Especially your biggest client."
Krang "Yet again, your customer service falls short."
Baxter "Yes, well, I'll have to differ with you on that account, General."
Baxter "Had I any prior indication you would be arriving in New York today, I assure you all the proper accommodations would have been made and the "customer service" provided would have been far from substandard."
Baxter "At the very least, I would have been here to open the front door for you and your cohorts—a quite valuable door, I might add. Or, rather, it was."
Baxter "Now, then, to what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit, hm?"
Krang "You know damn well why I'm here, Stockman! It's been more than a year now and I'm still waiting on the super-soldier mutagen I contracted your pathetic excuse for a company to make!"
Baxter "The mutagen... Yes. Well, as you know, things have been delayed on that front following the break-in we experienced last year."
Krang "For which I immediately re-supplied you with the ooze components you said you needed to get things back on track!"
Baxter "Back on track in terms of scientific development does not necessarily equate to expediency, General. This is not rocket science—it's far more complicated than that, and it takes time."
Krang "Time I don't have, Stockman! I'm losing troops faster than I can replace them—I need reinforcements and I need them now!"
Baxter "I see our terrapin exo-armor formula is working well for you. No bullets getting through this fellow's stony skin, eh?"
Krang "Stow the smugness, Stockman—one success out of three chances equals utter failure in my book."
Krang "So, the mutagen is still in development, eh? What about the psychotropic compound, then? Why hasn't that been delivered to me?"
Baxter "That you shall soon have, good General. I've initiated a plan..."
"...One that will take a huge bite out of that particular setback."
Raph "I take it back—ain't nothin' funny about this."
Leo "Get back, dammit!"
Raph "Crap! That's Leo! C'mon!"
Leo "Raph! Mike! Hurry!"
Leo "I don't know how much longer I can hold them off!"
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