Solicit[]
While Splinter holds the other Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles behind to practice meditating, Raphael is sent out on an urgent mission: to pick up the proper provisions of pizza for all postmeditative munching. He makes it to the preferred pizza parlor in one piece, and then everything goes awry as he’s pulled into a criminal conspiracy sparked by a forgotten forked-tongued foe. And to make things even more chaotic, vigilante Casey Jones is on the scene as well… All in the latest issue of Saturday Morning Adventures!
Appearing in Crime Spree[]
Major characters[]
Minor characters[]
- Big Louie
- Donatello
- Luigi
- Leonardo
- Detective Longer (debut)
- Mad Dog McMutt
- Michelangelo
- Pinky McFingers
- Punks
- Splinter
- Tony Vivaldi
- Vivaldi's henchmen
Species[]
- Humans
- Mutant rat
- Mutant turtle
Locations[]
- New York City
- Burnham's
- Preferred Pizza
- Simon Schultz Warehouse
- Turtle Lair
Objects, vehicles, and weapons[]
Synopsis[]
In the Lair, three of the Turtles are complaining to Splinter that they feel like they’re being punished and want to know what they did wrong. The fourth, Raphael, is putting finishing touches on the disguise he’ll wear to go topside. Splinter assures them that they are not being punished, they are merely taking the evening to meditate, which is good for their development. Michelangelo wants to know why Raphael gets out of meditating. Raphael says it’s because he rules at rock-paper-scissors. Splinter adds that the city will live without the others for one night and besides, Raphael will be joining them after he returns with dinner.
Raphael soon enters Preferred Pizza and orders three large pizzas with taffy and onion from Luigi, who is behind the counter. Luigi suggests trying the fresh jalapenos that just came in and says they go great with pineapple and peppermint aioli. Intrigued, Raphael says he’ll try one that way. Before he can say more, a trio of punks enter and one of them hits Raphael with a crowbar, knocking him out of the way. The leader of the group approaches Luigi and demands all the money in his till. Luigi informs him that it’s Wednesday so there is hardly anything there. The punk laughs and says he knows it gets busy midweek because he went to college a block away. Luigi asks what he went to college for and the punk reply’s ‘philosophy’, which makes him unpredictable. He proves this by smashing a picture of Vernon Fenwick which is hanging on the wall and once more demands money.
Raphael immediately removes his disguise and tells the punks they have to go through him first. The leader orders his boys to get him. They attack, but Raphael makes short work of them and finishes up by dropping a trash can over the leader’s head. Luigi claps in appreciation and Raphael says his last quote about philosophy was from a movie. A new arrival says he gives the fight five stars. Raphael turns to see Casey Jones and asks what he’s doing there. Casey tells him it’s war out there in the city. Businesses all over the Big Apple are being hit with such coordination that he knows there’s a plan. He’s been chasing punks for the last hour to try to get answers. Casey removes the trash can from the leader’s head and says this guy is going to tell him why. The leader says he’s not going to tell him anything. Casey replies that they’ll see about that.
Holding the punk by his pegleg and dangling him off a rooftop soon has him agreeing to talk. The punk tells them they were hired by a new mastermind who wanted them to distract the cops so he could steal something. Casey demands details and the punk says the mastermind is after chemicals and that’s all he knows. He doesn’t know who he is. Casey ties up the punk and leaves him handing from an emergency ladder in an alley, though he thinks he should have broken his arm on principle. Raphael says they are not doing that, but what he will do is call the other Turtles. Unfortunately, when he tries to use his turtlecom, he finds that the batteries are dead. He is about to go to a bodega to get more, but Casey argues that will take too long. He lifts his mask and tells Raphael to read his lips – they are pressing on. As he lowers the mask, he notices the expression on Raphael’s face and asks about it. Raphael tells him that this whole time he thought Casey was 35.
Casey says they are wasting time and starts off, but Raphael grabs his arm. He says they have to be smart if it’s just going to be the two of them. They need a plan. Casey says his plan is to bash in skulls until they get answers, but Raphael says the mastermind could get away with his plans while Casey’s bashing skulls. He adds that if there’s any mind control in the mix… Here he breaks the fourth wall to say that it can, does, and has happened in this series. Raphael picks up his train of thought to say that Casey wouldn’t be able to force anyone to talk. Then he asks if Casey can act well enough to convince these guys that he’s a crook. Casey says he got a standing ovation for playing Humpty Dumpty in kindergarten.
Shortly, a thug is in Burnham’s bodega, holding up the lady at the register. He demands all the money and a bag of saltwater taffy. When someone calls out to him, the thug turns and sees a disguised Casey, who claims to be part of the gang. He holds up a huge bag with a dollar sign painted on its side and says he forgot where the mastermind wants him to bring the money. The thug says he doesn’t know about a mastermind, but The Butcher wants them all to meet up at Schultz Warehouse. Casey swings the bag and wallops the thug with it, calling him criminal scum. With the thug unconscious on the floor, Raphael crawls out of the bag and says Casey could have warned him he was going to do that. Casey urges him to get going.
At Simon Schultz Warehouse, April O'Neil is tied to a chair and Tony Vivaldi, aka “The Butcher”, tells someone completely covered in a cloak that he didn’t think his plan would work. His boys tell him that the cops are scattered just like he predicted, leaving the big money unguarded. The cloaked figured says the money and the chemicals he needs. Vivaldi predicts that theirs is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. April says that they’ll never get away with this. Vivaldi tells her that she’s going to be fitted for a cement overcoat. The cloaked figure says to give the reporter credit. She found them when no one else could and she didn’t inform the authorities because she craved a story. He flips back his hood and reveals himself to be Rudolph Cobrato.
April asks how he got out of prison. Cobrato says that since he’d returned to his human form, his lawyer argued he was no longer a threat, so he was released. He happily returned to his job as a herpetologist, but then suffered a relapse. He is only missing the ability to control snakes, but with the right chemicals, he’ll regain that power. Since he couldn’t just steal them because he’d be arrested before he was a full power, he enlisted the mob’s help.
Raphael suddenly leaps down and kicks Cobrato in the face, saying he’s glad to have heard the entire story up front, so he doesn’t have to be curious while kicking his scaly butt. The Turtle then turns to the task of trying to untie April. When she asks about the others, he tells her they’re back at the lair. Cobrato attacks and knocks Raphael away from April. The snake tells Raphael that he was foolish to come alone because he can easily overpower him. Raphael calls him rude for eavesdropping and informs him he never said he came here alone.
Casey swings his baseball bat and clouts Cobrato on the side of the head. When Casey says that he feels like St. Patrick, Cobrato tells him that story was a myth. This earns the snake a punch in the jaw as Casey tells him not to spread lies in his direction. Raphael returns to untying April and she asks if it’s weird to see him teamed up with Casey Jones. He finally gets the rope off of her and tells April to call the cavalry while they keep snake face busy. Raphael says to tell them what they know about Cobrato’s plan so the cops can do something about it. April wonders if she should call the other Turtles, but Raphael says they’d never get there in time. As April races off, she says she hopes Raphael knows what he’s doing.
As Casey smacks Cobrato with a golf club, he tells him that his evil plot is as good as nixed. Raphael sweeps Cobrato’s feet from under him and says he’ll never control snakes again. Cobrato springs backwards, landing near the floor grate. He tells his brother reptile that he still has plenty of tricks up his sleeve. Cobrato slithers down through the grate, saying he won’t waste any more time fighting until he’s back to full strength and then he’ll have his revenge. Casey asks if Raphael is going to follow him, but the Turtle says that’s not happening. Casey calls him a slacker, but Raphael says he’s the one without a rigid shell, so if he wants to squeeze after Cobrato, be his guest.
Casey says he’d rather get back out on the streets and introducing his baseball bat to the other half of the mob. Vivaldi calls out that if he wants to fight, he wouldn’t be a good host if he didn’t help with that. A group of mobsters surround Raphael and Casey, who stand back-to-back. Vivaldi tells the mobsters to carve his name in Raphael’s shell. Raphael tells Casey that he was just supposed to pick up some pizza. Casey tells him not to whine because this will be fun.
Later, at the lair, Leonardo comments that Raph should have been back hours ago. Donatello guesses that he wanted to get out of meditating, but can’t reach him on his turtlecom. Michelangelo calls their attention to the TV because April is on with a special report. April reports on the crime spree allegedly organized by Rudolph Cobrato. The Turtles are stunned to hear this and Splinter is worried that he was too rigid in his insistence in keeping them home. April turns to interview Detective Longer. He says they managed to nab most of the mobsters, though they can’t find Cobrato. They think he escaped to Jersey. Longer says they are also on the lookout for two guys in Halloween masks – one turtle, one hockey player. April thanks him for the update and signs off. Leonardo wonders if they mean Raphael and the Turtle in question, having just arrived, says he hopes so. He tells his brothers that he had one long night. Michelangelo can’t wait to hear about it, but first things first, he’s starving. He asks about their dinner. Raphael realizes that in all the excitement, he forgot to go back for the pizza. His brothers all groan.