[Opening sequence and theme song.]
[Episode opens inside the turtle lair. The turtles are watching Master Splinter as he eats.]
Donatello "I'm so hungry, I could even eat that pickled tofu."
Raphael "Uh-oh."
Leonardo "The oven's empty!"
Donatello "Our pizzas are gone!"
Raphael "Hmm. I've got a theory."
[He opens a cupboard and finds Michelangelo.]
Michelangelo "Yo, dudes. Uh, what's the haps?"
Donatello "The haps is you ate all of our pizzas."
Michelangelo "Who, moi?"
Donatello "Master, Michelangelo ate all our pizzas again."
Splinter "You were warned, Michelangelo. I shall have to apply Kung Pao."
Michelangelo "Kung pao?"
Splinter "Kung Pao is an ancient form of mind control. I assure you it will not hurt. Repeat after me. I crave pizza no more."
Michelangelo "I crave pizza no more. I can't believe I'm saying this."
Splinter "I have a feeling this will not be easy."
[Cut to the Technodrome.]
Krang "Well, Shredder, do you think you can manage to obliterate the turtles this time?"
Shredder "It's easy to criticize, but I'm the one who's doing all the work."
Krang "Do you have the disks?"
Shredder "Right here. Soon, with the help of these, we'll be using the shells of those turtles as hubcaps!"
[At Shredder’s temporary lair, Bebop and Rocksteady are wearing aprons and attempting to clean the place.]
Bebop "What does Shredder think we are, anyway? A couple of housemaids? Hey, what's going on?"
[The loud noise that caught his attention is a transport module. Shredder steps out.]
Rocksteady "Oh, hi, boss."
Shredder "This place is a pigsty! I thought I told you to clean it up!"
Bebop "We did, but then you came busting in and we—"
Shredder "No excuses. Get to your positions. We must activate the holographic synthesizer."
Rocksteady "Sure thing, boss."
Shredder "Power on."
Bebop "Whoa. It looks just like Christmastime at the state pen."
Shredder "Quiet! Insert this graphics disk."
Rocksteady "‘Subject-- Mi--Mi—Michelangelo’."
Shredder "That disk contains all the physical data we need to create a dimensional hologram."
[A holographic image of Michelangelo appears behind them.]
Bebop "It's that surfer turtle."
Rocksteady "Blah, let's turn him into turtle mush."
[They charge and dive at the hologram, but only manage to headbutt each other.]
Shredder "Cretins! Didn't I just say it's a hologram?"
Bebop "Yeah. Uh, what's a hologram?"
Shredder "It's an exact likeness of Michelangelo that I will program to infiltrate the turtle's lair and destroy them! It will talk, act, and think just like the real Michelangelo. Now remove the graphics disk."
Bebop "Okay, okay. Don't get your razors all ruffled."
Shredder "Now This disk contains everything we know about Michelangelo, even his endless appetite for pizza. Insert it gently."
Rocksteady "Psst. You're putting it in backwards."
Bebop "Big deal. So what could happen?"
[Bebop forces it in backwards and electricity shoots around the room.]
All "Aah!"
[A burst of electricity bounces from the ceiling and hits Shredder in the face.]
Shredder "Whoa! I--I feel so strange."
Rocksteady "Hey, where's the boss going?"
[At the lair, Splinter continues to work on Michelangelo’s craving.]
Splinter "Once more, Michelangelo. I crave pizza no more."
Michelangelo "I crave pizza no more."
Splinter "Excellent. Now awaken. And now for the acid test. Donatello."
Donatello "Hey, Michelangelo, how about a pizza with the works?"
Michelangelo "Pizza? No way, dude. I crave pizza no more."
Leonardo "Amazing."
Donatello "Astonishing."
Raphael "Not bad. Maybe now it's safe to order out for some pizzas."
Shredder "No need, dudes. I brought back some takeout. So, like, let's get down and pig out."
Leonardo "It's Shredder."
Shredder "Where? Where? Yo! Let's scarf some pizzas, compadres."
Michelangelo "Just where do you think you're going, tin grin?"
Shredder "Mellow out, dude. This is my pad. I live here."
Michelangelo "Well, not for long."
Splinter "Michelangelo."
Michelangelo "Yes, Sensei?"
Shredder "Yes, Sensei?"
Splinter "Kneel down, please. Who are you, how did you find this place, and what is your mission?"
Shredder "I am Michelangelo. This is my home. My mission is to serve the cool forces of good, to obey my totally hip Master Splinter, and, whenever possible, to consume mondo portions of pizza."
Donatello "He's really in trouble. He thinks he's Michelangelo."
Splinter "As Michelangelo, he seems to know nothing about Shredder. I must speak to Shredder himself. When you hear the name Shredder, you will become your former insidious self. Shredder. Shredder. Shredder. Shredder."
Shredder "Splinter, my sworn enemy! How did I get here? Let me go! I'll shell you like walnuts."
Raphael "Yup, he's his former insidious self, all right."
Shredder "You stupid turtles won't get anything out of me. I'll never talk!"
Splinter "It's no use. I have to change him back. When I say the name Michelangelo, you will become him once again. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. You will never speak the name of my arch enemy. Instead, you will refer to him as you-know-who. And that goes for all of you. One mention of you-know-who's name will change him back to his former self, and that would be disastrous."
Raphael "How long do we have to put up with can head like this?"
Splinter "Until we discover what his plan is."
Michelangelo "It's getting too crowded in here. I'm going for a spin around the sewers."
Shredder "Oh, wow! Mondo notion, man. Include me in, okay?"
Michelangelo "Just where do you think you're going, dude?"
Shredder "Sewer surfing, man. I hunger for cowabunga!"
Michelangelo "Well, not on my cheapskate, you don't."
Shredder "Your cheapskate? It's my cheapskate!"
[Shredder tackles Michelangelo and the disk falls out. Donatello picks it up.]
Michelangelo "This sewer's not big enough for the two of us. I'm out of here!"
Donatello "Master, Shr-- you-know-who seems to have dropped this. It's a graphics disk."
Splinter "Hmm. This may be the clue we've been searching for."
Michelangelo "Guess I'll just drown my sorrows here at Vinnie's with a pizza. The weird thing is I crave pizza no more."
Bebop "Wow! A turtle. This is even better than finding the boss."
Rocksteady "Yeah! I'm in the mood for some serious turtle bashing."
[The turtles pull up to the Channel 6 building in their turtle van.]
Leonardo "It's a good thing April is working late."
Donatello "Yeah. We could use her computer equipment to read this disk."
Leonardo "That way we can figure out you-know-who's plan."
Raphael "Psst. Yo, April."
April "Turtles, what are you doing here?"
Shredder "Hey, babe! What's going down in this here town?"
April "I don't believe it. That's Shred—"
Leonardo "Whatever you do, don't say his name. I'll explain later."
Donatello "We've got to access your computer."
April "What's on the disk?"
Donatello "We're about to find out."
Shredder "Oh, wow, dudes. It's me!"
Raphael "What the heck is it, Donatello?"
Donatello "It looks like some sort of hologram program."
April "What's going on?"
Leonardo "The program overloaded the circuits."
Donatello "It looks like you-know-who plans to clone Michelangelo."
Shredder "Oh, yeah? If metal-mouth tries anything on me, hyah!"
Raphael "If you were Michelangelo, and you are, where would you go to sulk?"
Shredder "Like, where else, dude? Vinnie's pizza."
[Bebop and Rocksteady approach the entrance to Vinnie’s Pizzeria.]
Bebop "Time to crack some shells."
Vinnie "Look, pal, this ain't the public library. You gonna read or are you gonna order pizza?"
Michelangelo "I don't know, dude. For some bizarro reason, I can't make up my mind."
Vinnie "Geez, you're slower than a turtle. How about the works?"
Michelangelo "The works? Righteous. Yeah, that's what I w—
Uh, scratch that notion, dude. I crave pizza no more. Just give me a soft drink."
[Splinter’s voice in his head says ‘I crave pizza no more.’]
Uh, scratch that notion, dude. I crave pizza no more. Just give me a soft drink."
Vinnie "Yeah, why not? It goes perfect with your soft head."
Rocksteady "Oh, what a pity. He won't even get to enjoy his last pizza."
[Michelangelo shakes his soda bottle and spritzes both mutants in the face. They begin firing their lasers, but he darts behind the counter.]
Rocksteady "Where'd he go? I can't see!"
Bebop "Me neither. Just keep firing."
Vinnie "Hey. What's going on? Ohh!"
Rocksteady "I'll find you wherever you are."
Michelangelo "Due north, dude. Bummer."
Rocksteady "Gotcha now, shellback."
Bebop "Looks like we got ourselves a canned turtle."
[The others arrive at the pizzeria after Bebop and Rocksteady escape with Michelangelo as their captive.]
Shredder "Well, all right! Chowtime!"
Leonardo "I hope Michelangelo's in here."
Raphael "I hope he's in one piece."
Leonardo "Michelangelo. Michelangelo!"
Shredder "You called, compadres?"
Leonardo "You better stay close to us, Shre-- I mean, Michelangelo."
Shredder "For sure. I'm in mondo danger, right?"
Leonardo "Uh, right. Now let's keep looking."
[The enter the back of the pizzeria.]
Shredder "Oh, wow. Truly awesome. Oh, tubuloso. There's some cheese left in this shredder. Shredder? Shredder. Shredder. Oh. Where am I? How did I get here? Turtles."
Leonardo "They must've grabbed Michelangelo. Now I'll bet they plan on infiltrating us with his hologram."
Raphael "Let's head back to Channel 6 and see if Donatello found anything."
Shredder "Forget it! You're not going anywhere. Aah! Have the works, turtles. It's on me. Or better yet, it's on you."
[Shredder hits Raphael and Leonardo, knocking them onto the pizza prep conveyor belt. Back at his hideout, Bebop and Rocksteady dance around a tied-up Michelangelo.]
Both "We got us a turtle, we got us a turtle."
Michelangelo "Put a sock in it, will ya? You're giving me a mondo migraine."
Bebop "You put a sock in it."
Shredder "What's going on here?"
Bebop "Look, boss. We got us a turtle."
Shredder "So, you simpletons finally managed to do something right."
Krang "Shredder, are you there? Where have you been, Shredder?"
Shredder "I--I'm not sure. I must've been hijacked by the turtles."
Krang "Well, you were supposed to hijack them!"
Shredder "I got one of them, didn't I? I'm working on it."
Krang "Oh, good. Once phase one is accomplished, we'll proceed to phase two; the master plan."
Donatello "Shredder's holographic synthesizer may be more powerful than we imagined, but maybe this will match it. Now, let's try to read that disk. ‘Phase two-- the master plan’?"
April "What's it doing?"
Donatello "We must have booted up another file. It's another hologram."
April "It's the President!"
Donatello "I’d better contact Leonardo and Raphael right away. Leonardo! Raphael! Do you read me? Leonardo! Raphael! Come in! Leonardo! Raphael! There's no answer. They must be in trouble."
Krang "Oh, yippie! Once our presidential hologram is officially inaugurated, I will control the most powerful office in the world."
Shredder "You mean we, don't you?"
Krang "You can be Vice President."
Shredder "Hmm. Just a heartbeat away. Not bad. Rocksteady, Bebop, power up the synthesizer."
Bebop "Sure thing, Mr. Vice President."
Shredder "Now, insert the graphics disk, and this time, do it right."
Bebop "Uh, me, boss? But you got the disk."
Shredder "It's gone!"
Krang "What? I knew I never should have trusted you."
Shredder "Blast it! Those turtles must have it!"
[Back at Vinnie’s Pizza, Raphael and Leonardo are wrapped in dough and headed towards the pizza oven on the conveyor belt.]
Leonardo "It sure is hot in here."
Raphael "No wonder! We're about to become today's hot plate special."
Leonardo "What a way to go. We'll probably get eaten by Shredder."
Raphael "Or, worse yet, Michelangelo.
Whew! Talk about close. Hey, is that you, Donatello?"
[Shredder shuts off the belt.]
Whew! Talk about close. Hey, is that you, Donatello?"
Shredder "Guess again. Now hand over that graphics disk."
Raphael "Sure thing, Michelangelo.. Michelangelo.. Michelangelo.."
Shredder "Oh, wow! Hey, dudes. How'd you get in this fix? Or, should I say, fixings?"
Raphael "It's a long story. Just help us out of here."
Shredder "Oh, with mucho gusto, amigos."
Donatello "Are you guys okay?"
Raphael "We're fine. Who doesn't enjoy being wrapped in melted mozzarella?"
Donatello "Well, come with me. There's something I have to show you."
Leonardo "So, they plan on replacing the president with a hologram, too?"
Donatello "This disk is just a blueprint. They must have an advanced holographic synthesizer somewhere."
Leonardo "Then we've got to find it and destroy it."
April "We've got to find poor Michelangelo, too."
Shredder "Don't be a dufus, babe. I'm right here."
Raphael "There's one person who can tell us where both the disk and our buddy are."
Shredder "What are you dudes staring at? Is my headband on backwards?"
Leonardo "Donatello, can you reprogram that disk?"
Donatello "Do turtles have shells?"
[They all return to Vinnie’s Pizza and Donatello places his brothers back on the conveyor belt.]
Raphael "Hey, hey, hold the anchovies, huh? We're gonna have to break out of this stuff."
Leonardo "Everything's got to look exactly as it did before so you-know-who won't suspect any time has passed. Donatello, you stake out the front."
Donatello "Check!"
Leonardo "Michelangelo, you pull out the laser gun and hold it on us."
Shredder "I still think you dudes have gone nutzoid."
Leonardo "We're just setting up a little sting operation for Shredder. Shredder. Shredder. Shredder."
Shredder "You heard me! I want that disk!"
Raphael "Here. Catch!"
[He throws the disk and robotic hands catch it.]
Leonardo "Now! This should keep him busy for a while."
Shredder "Blast it! Give me that disk!"
Leonardo "Let's roll!"
Shredder "Enough games. Give me that. Turtles, your destiny is in my hands now."
[He leaves through the backdoor. The turtles follow.]
Leonardo "That must be his hideout."
Bebop "Gee, I always wanted to have a pet turtle."
Rocksteady "Yeah. It's too bad we've got to flush him."
Shredder "Not now, you cretins. We must concentrate on capturing the other turtles, too."
[The three turtles watch from the rafters.]
Raphael "Lots of luck, pal."
Donatello "Shh! He's about to input that reprogrammed disk."
Shredder "Prepare for phase one-- the destruction of the turtles."
[A beam shoots out of the holographic synthesizer and produces a duplicate Michelangelo. Rather than stopping, it starts producing a bunch of doubles.]
Shredder "Wha--what's going on?"
Rocksteady "Oh, boy. Just like a shooting gallery."
Bebop "Yeah. It's times like this I wish I could count so I could keep score."
Shredder "Stop, you idiots! You'll hit something."
Rocksteady "Yeah. Like turtles."
Leonardo "Hold still, Michelangelo."
Michelangelo "Cowabunga, dudes! How'd you make all of those me’s?"
Donatello "Easy. I programmed the disk for infinite replication."
Michelangelo "Like they say, you can't get too much of a good thing."
Shredder "See, you moronic mutants. No more turtles!"
Leonardo "Look again, shredhead."
Donatello "Four--count 'em! Four turtles."
Leonardo "And we're here to break your new toy."
Raphael "Allow me. My sai! It disappeared."
Shredder "Who's going to break whose toy?"
Donatello "It's an electromagnetic force field. We can't get through."
Michelangelo "I'm already there, dudes. Check it out. Yo, Michelangelo! Michelangelo! Michelangelo!"
Shredder "What's happening, compadres?"
Michelangelo "Quick! The synthesizer. Waste it!"
Shredder "Right on! Turtle power!"
Bebop "Hey, boss. What are you doing?"
Rocksteady "You gone nuts or something?"
Shredder "Cowabunga!
Uhh! Huh? Where am I?"
[Another beam hits him in the head and he shoots the synthesizer.]
Uhh! Huh? Where am I?"
Bebop "Hey, he ain't the boss. He's a turtle in disguise."
Rocksteady "Well, let's rip it off him."
Shredder "What happened to my beautiful synthesizer?"
Bebop "Great disguise."
Rocksteady "Yeah. But not good enough to fool us."
Shredder "Oh, you idiots! What are you doing?"
Donatello "The synthesizer's going to blow."
Michelangelo "Let's boogie, dudes."
Rocksteady "We better get out of here. This place is history."
Shredder "Oh, you two will be history when I'm through with you."
Bebop "We-- we better take this turtle with us."
Rocksteady "Yeah. Krang will have something we can peel off his disguise with."
[Back at the lair, the turtles tell their story to Splinter.]
Leonardo "Well, Master, we didn't catch you-know-who, but we did put a stop to their hologram scheme."
Raphael "Okay, everyone. Dinner is served."
Donatello "All right!"
April "Michelangelo, no pizza for you?"
Michelangelo "Pizza? Yuck! I crave pizza no more."
Splinter "How forgetful of me. It completely slipped my mind. Michelangelo, you shall crave pizza once again."
Michelangelo "Uh, on second thought, I crave pizza once again. I'll have two of them. Uh, no. Four. Wait a minute. Better make that eight."
Raphael "With his appetite, who needs clones?"
[End Credits]